Disclaimer: I don't own blood+ and none of this ever happened

Authors Note: This chapter's title comes from the song Wester.

I would also like to take this opportunity to thank all of you who have read and reviewed my story. Your comments motivate me more than anything to continue writing. I would also like to thank solomonara, my good friend and beta. Without her, my grammar would be a mess.

Story 4: I Can Feel You Dreaming of Me

Though he trod as quietly as he could, Hagi still felt sure every one of his footsteps echoed throughout the empty halls loudly enough to wake every person in the manor. He could feel his heart beating in his throat as he repeatedly glanced behind him, convinced a servant would suddenly be there to inquire as to why he was wandering about this wing of the house at this time of the night. Somehow, his feet still found their way in front of one another, leading him to the end of the long hallway, though his mind repeatedly told them to stop and turn back. The heavy oak door was inches in front of his face before he knew how he got there.

His hand moved to knock, but ended up pressed against the door instead. He could feel every swirl of wood grain under his palm. His breaths were so deep and frequent he felt light headed. He was frozen in place, thoughts swirling.

"If I go back to my room now, she won't ever know I was here," he thought to himself, "I will have put an end to this."

...

He gently knocked on the door.

...

No response.

Hagi knew he should take this as a sign and walk away, but that hand that he seemed so unable to control these days reached to the latch and slowly pushed the door open.

"Hagi..."

He stopped before the door was open enough to see into the room. So she had heard him. He steeled his nerves and pushed the door the rest of the way open and stepped inside. His eyes took a moment to acclimate to the darkness. She was in bed, the white lacy covers pulled up to her chin. The moonlight cast long shadows across the room.

"Hagi..."

There was his name again, uttered in that same, soft breathy voice, so different from the sharp, demanding one she used during the day. He stepped nearer to her.

"Saya..."

He realized before he finished saying her name that she had been asleep. Her eyelids fluttered open, and she looked at him in confusion for a moment, before recognition spread out over her features.

"Hagi! I didn't think you were going to come. I guess I fell asleep."

"I'm sorry for waking you Saya. I shouldn't have come. I...I should leave."

He turned towards the door but was stopped by her grip on his sleeve.

"No, Hagi, please don't leave," she said as she looked up at him with eyes that seemed to shimmer in the moonlight.

He stopped and his mouth opened as if to respond, but no sound came out. He swallowed hard and sat down on the edge of her bed. She tossed the rest of the covers off of herself and knelt beside him.

"Thank you," she whispered into his neck as her arms wrapped around his shoulders.

He felt her lips place a soft kiss on the side of his throat and her fingertips dip into the unbuttoned portion of his shirt and his whole body jerked. She sensed his tension and retreated slightly.

"Hagi, what's the matter?" she asked innocently, cupping his cheek in her hand.

"Saya, we can't keep doing this. Being together like this...it's wrong."

Saya was taken aback, her eyes widening.

"Hagi, you think being with me is wrong?"

"No Saya, thats not what I meant. We've always been together and you know I would do anything for you, it's just being like THIS," he clasped the hand that was still resting on his chest, "THIS is wrong."

"Hagi," she looked at him, tears welling in her eyes, "I love you. Don't you love me as well?"

He quickly cupped her face in his hand.

"Yes, Saya, of course I love you. You know I do! But this..." his voice began to waiver, and he started to forget who he was trying to convince, "This isn't...proper."

Saya sat back against her pillows with a huff and slammed her fist into the mattress.

"I hate all this business of being proper! That's all I ever hear from Joel and my tutors! This and that aren't proper, I should behave this way because it's the proper thing to do. I'm tired of it! I want to be who I am! And you do too, Hagi. I know you do! All those months ago when you first kissed me, you knew it wasn't the proper thing to do, but you did it anyway. And do you regret it?"

He stared into her fiery eyes and knew that he had to tell the truth. To her, and to himself.

"No."

"Then please, stop doing what you were told by everyone else was right and do what you think is right! Hagi, when we first kissed I couldn't think of anything else. And now, I can't think of anything besides the way it feels when you touch me, and when I touch you. And I...I don't want these feelings to stop."

Hagi leaned over her and held her face in his hands. His thumb brushed away the tears of sadness and frustration that had fallen from her eyes and rested his forehead up against hers. He closed his eyes, let out a long sigh, and pressed his lips to hers.

Saya responded instantly, fervently. Her heart leapt because she knew from his actions that he was finally, honestly, putting aside the restrictive values that had been beaten into him. She grabbed his wrist and urged him over her. His body settled into a familiar position, weight resting on his arms on either side of her head, torso pressed down into her just enough to feel every curve melt into him.

His kisses were shy at first, as they always were. Saya had to nibble his bottom lip in just such a way to coax him into opening his mouth more for her. His tongue timidly swept against hers and she responded in kind. Kissing this way seemed odd to Saya at first, until she grew to love the taste and heat of his mouth. Now she actively sought these deep and intimate kisses.

After a long while, his hand slid from its position above her head to rub the sheets right next to her side. She knew what he wanted, and as always he was too reserved to seek it without her permission. Her hand covered his and placed it on her belly. He could feel the heat of her skin through her thin nightgown. He rubbed small circles on her tummy before her hand guided his up to cup her breast. She relaxed and arched into him. He would need no further persuasion.

His palm gently roamed across her chest. He pulled his lips away from hers and settled them on her neck. He briefly wondered if she ever realized he did this just so he could hear the sounds that she made.

She did not disappoint him. She was full of mewls, gasps, and sighs, all thankfully quiet, and all just for him. Her hand slipped up the back of his loose shirt and roamed across his shoulders. His teeth nipped at the side of her neck. His thumb and finger rolled a nipple between them, and the material of her nightgown gave an interesting contrast to the heat of his hands, but she wanted to feel his skin on hers.

Her arms moved to try and pull her gown up, and with some wriggling and some help from Hagi, she finally succeeded. One of his large hands could easily cup one of her smallish breasts, and the feeling of his fiery hot palms on so much of her sensitive skin was overwhelming.

Saya's hands moved between them and, after some fumbling, unbuttoned the rest of Hagi's shirt and peeled it off his body. Her fingertips were everywhere on his thin frame at once, squeezing his shoulder blades and running their nails down his spine. She pulled his face from her neck and captured his lips again as his hips began their slow grind against hers. Their fury was building, they both could feel it.

Eventually, Saya could stand the tingling between her thighs no longer, and grabbed Hagi's hand once again to lead him were she needed his touches. He buried his face into her shoulder and groaned. He could already feel her dampness through the material of her undergarments. Though Hagi knew it was wrong, wrong and immoral and contrary to every decency he'd ever been instilled with, every time his fingertips slid against her this way he cared less and less.

His hand boldly dipped past the waistband of her soft undergarment and feathered against her. He knew this was where she would eventually lead him, where she told him countless times she needed to feel him. The way she breathlessly gasped his name into his ear at this point was what always broke his last barrier of restraint. He no longer resisted rubbing his aching hardness against her thigh, an ache, he was ashamed to admit, had been there since he left his room, even though he told himself he had come here to end these midnight encounters.

They had reached their rhythm now, the familiar flow in which their bodies would move against each other. Hagi knew not what part of her Saya's soft flesh his lips were pressed against, all he was aware of was the searing heat that quivered around his fingers, and the precious relief of her hand stroking him through his trousers. He snapped out of his bliss when she began to unbutton his pants.

"Saya! What are you..."

Her small fingers wrapped around him and he had to suppress a scream. She had never touched him this way, never held him in her delicate hands like this.

"Hagi, your so warm," she observed.

God, did she know what she was doing to him.

"Sssssa...ya..."

He could only barely hiss out her name. His eyes were clenched shut so tight colors blotted behind his eyelids. He was on the very precipice of the edge he would not just fall from this time, but plummet head first over, when her hand suddenly released him. His eyes cracked open in confusion and saw her looking pensively down at him. Her face seemed to reflect that she had reached some internal conclusion and before Hagi realized what was going on, Saya's hands had undone the knots on her undergarment and slipped it off her hips. He sat up in a start.

"Saya!"

Her finger pressed over his lips silenced him.

"I want more Hagi."

Her eyes stared meaningfully into his and he knew she was serious.

"Saya...are you sure? We can't...we can't take this back."

"Would you want to?"

Hagi needed only a moment to decide. He pressed his forehead to hers.

"No."

She kissed him and lay back.

"Hagi, I want you to be sure. I won't do anything you don't wish to do. But I want you to know I love you, and I want the first time I make love to be with you."

How could she lay there like that, moonlight bathing her bare body, asking him to make love to her, and expect him not to say yes?

He nodded his head and placed a sweet kiss on her lips before beginning to run his hands over the unfamiliar territory of her newly bared skin. He felt her hands pushing his pants off his narrow hips and his own hands joined to help. He settled between her thighs and nipped at her neck, waiting to see if her mind was completely made up.

It was.

"Please Hagi," she whispered in his ear as she slid her body along his.

He swallowed hard and took a deep breath. His hand gently coaxed her right leg to bend at the knee, opening her hips more to him. His fingertips tickled the sensitive skin of her thigh as his lips kissed along her nose and cheeks, causing her to lightly giggle.

"I love you, Saya. I love you so much. I always will. Never forget that."

As he slowly slid into her, he had to put his mind in a far off place to keep from losing it before he really began. He felt her nails dig into his back and heard her gasp. Her whole body tensed beneath his as he finally rested fully inside her.

"Shhhhh..." he cooed into her ear, rubbing her sides and nuzzling her neck, trying to get her to relax. He didn't move, he wasn't sure he could. Not only did he want to give her time to adjust to his presence, but the friction at this point, before he resumed full command over his body, would be enough to send him into a far too early release. Eventually her breathing evened and her hips began to move slightly against his, encouraging him to move.

Hagi mustered up as much control as he could and slowly pulled back. He tried to look down at her, but the sight of her underneath him like that, head tossed to the side and teeth biting her lower lip to keep herself from crying out, it was too much, and he had to slip his eyes shut once again. With agonizing slowness, he thrust back in, and then out again. His whole body trembled with the effort, and more so, from the pleasure of it. He continued his slow rhythm and nuzzled his cheek against hers.

"How do you feel Saya?" he asked softly, his breath tickling her ear.

"Good," she replied quietly, holding tightly to his back, "It feels so different from when you touch me. It feels better. How do you feel?"

He kissed her again, slowly and lovingly.

"Wonderful. Amazing. Unbelievable," he whispered out between breaths.

She giggled a bit and wrapped her arms tighter around his body. At last Hagi seemed to have at least reasonable control back over his senses, enough to open his eyes. His head was turned to the side and the first thing he saw when his eyelids fluttered open was their reflection in the ornate full body mirror on the other side of the room. His eyes were transfixed on their bodies moving together. Her raised knee kept the view somewhat modest, but he could still not get over how...erotic, it was to see their lovemaking reflected back at him.

He finally was able to look down at his Saya. She was absolutely bathed in the strong moonlight seeping in from the large windows, making her skin pale as snow and all the hues of her dark hair gleam. It took what little breath he had away.

"You are so beautiful, love."

The smile his words had produced faded almost instantly as her eyebrows knitted together and her nails sank deeper into his skin. He knew from the sudden flushing of her cheeks and the keening muffled by her tightly pursed lips that she had reached her climax. The fluttering of her body around him and his name spilling from her lips like a prayer was enough to tear his own release from him such as he never experienced before. Every muscle in his body strained and his mouth opened in a silent scream as pleasure wracked every nerve and sense in his body.

When his awareness came back to him, he was lying on top of Saya, feeling too weak to move. It took all his strength just to slowly slip out of her and fall next to her on his back. The effort left him breathless. Moments later he felt the warmth of Saya turning over to lay against his body. Her legs curled around his and her cheek rested on his shoulder. Her lips grazed across his chest or his neck occasionally in a kiss. Hagi grabbed her hand in his and laced his fingers through hers, holding her whole frame close to his until both their hearts slowed enough to breath normally.

He didn't want to say it, but he knew he could not spend much more time with her. The early morning shift of servants would be about the house soon, cleaning and preparing food. He knew from experience that the level of gossip was so high among them that news of the young master Hagi stealing away from the lady's room in the early morning would reach Joel's ears before breakfast, and he'd be lucky if he was turned out of the Zoo with nothing more than a beating.

"Saya..."

"I know. You have to go. It's all right."

"I wish I could stay Saya. I wish I could wake up every morning with you in my arms. But even though we see our relationship our way, it's going to take a while for the rest of the world to change."

She nodded against his chest and placed one more kiss there, before sitting back off him so he could pick up his clothes and dress. When he had finished, he picked up her undergarments and nightgown from where they had fallen next to the bed and helped her into them. She knelt at the edge of the bed, buried in his arms, unwilling to let him go. He kissed her forehead tenderly and ran his fingers through her long hair.

"It's all right Saya. I'll see you in a few hours at breakfast. Then we can walk the grounds or go riding. Whatever you like."

"Well, actually, Hagi, I was hoping to go on a picnic. I need to think about what I'm going to give Joel for his birthday."

"Of course. We haven't eaten outside in ages. It will be nice."

He bent down to give her one more kiss, before turning and quietly opening the door. They shared smiles once more before he gently closed the door behind him and padded off noiselessly to his room.