GREETINGS, READERS.

So, here is the special something that I had planned for you all after the last chapter. It's my Author's Bloopers and your submitted questions!

Do not, do not, DO NOT read this bit until you've let the regular story sink in. Matt and Mello deserve that respect. I DEMAND THAT YOU CRY FIRST AND LAUGH LATER.

Anyway. A little explanation:

I had the Demons of Writing driving me for days without sleep when I wrote Tristan Chord. The exhaustion got to me. I get silly when I'm tired. This is all shit that I actually typed. And then saved. This is how you have bloopers.

...Four years later, by the way. FOUR YEARS LATER. I wrote this fic in spring 2008, and promised you things then, and it's currently June 2012. (DON'TKILLME.)

Onward and upward, chaps. Have fun with your extras.

BLOOPERS

1. SING IT, MELLO!

"What I want to ask you," Matt began again, but this time Mello was busy stashing cans of soup in the cupboards, "Is whether or not you've really thought this whole thing through. I mean really. I know you've timed out everything. The fucking plan is flawless, Mello, I know that, but did you think about anything else? Like us? Our lives, and whether or not it's too soon, or why going back to Wammy's would drive things in so much deeper than it should have? Shit, I can't even piece together what I—"

"Matt," Mello cut in suddenly. He wasn't sure what to say. How could he get Matt to understand?

What language could he possibly use that would communicate all he was feeling?

Matt was still waiting for a response. "Well?"

"Matt, the truth is…." Mello drew away from the countertop and spread his arms. He had no other choice. "Yuri the only one for me! Tried so hard to make you see. Yuri the only one for me, priceless like a PS3."

Matt stared.

"YOU AND I MAKE NINTENDO Wii~!"

(For those not in the know, the song is "Yuri The Only One" by the LeetStreet Boys.)

2. WAKEY, WAKEY, EGGS N' BAKEY?

But somehow it felt more significant than that, and Matt didn't want to read into it any further. Mello was sprawled across his bed, breathing so shallowly that he appeared comatose. Matt looked him up and down.

Mello's eye creaked open. "Matt, you're so obvious. You want to wake me up and do me hard at this point, don't you?"

Matt paused. He wasn't sure this was how the scene was supposed to go, but he wasn't going to lie about his urges. "Fucking yes."

"But if you give in and do so, reader respect for this story will drop by at least forty three percent, or thereabouts. Because we'll have missed the point entirely."

"…You have no idea what our readers are like at all, do you."

Mello didn't seem to hear him. "Hmm, I wonder why I felt the need to speak in percentages just now? It's probably because L isn't in this fic. We've gone so far from actual Death Note… and we've ruined the story for the author by breaking out of script like this. She's going to have to write this scene all over again."

"Are you getting a boner?"

Mello looked torn. "We really ought to learn to reign in our libido."

Matt licked his lips. He… he really wasn't paying attention.

Mello quirked an eyebrow. "Your mind is still right in the gutter, isn't it."

Matt grinned.

The author shoved her chair away from her desk and stormed away from her computer, utterly unable to focus on character development for want of fitting in a very naughty scene.

There was only silence.

"Matt, are we on our own now?"

Matt glanced around. "Looks like it."

"LET'S GET TO IT, THEN."

3. TAILING MELLO – TYPING FAIL

He'd never seen Mello like this, never known the blond to just… wander. Maybe he was collecting his thoughts. Lord knew Matt often needed to do the same, especially lately.

Then it seemed that Nekko picked up speed.

...

That has got to be the strangest typo in existence.

(N is right next to M, and K right next to L. Apparently I shifted over one and missed my target keys.)

4. TAILING MELLO – TYPING FAIL AGAIN.

Then it seemed that Me;;o picked up speed. Mellko. MRLLO. FUCK SHIT SONOF ABITCH MELLO GOD DAMMIT ASS FUCKING BULLSHIT….

5. ALLITERATION WHORE

He went for the chocolate instead — tore it from the stash on the countertop and sank his teeth into a bar of the stuff with vampiric lust. Instantaneous, bittersweet gratification. Sugary shield of sedation and sanctuary.

…Wow, so superfluous. Someone super-stupid sincerely slobbers over stuff that (sometimes) subverts the style and solemnity of serious subjects and sentences. Save Silver Sole.

6. MATT'S LAPTOP

As Mello laid his hands over the laptop, he felt a dash of impunity. Matt would never know that his laptop had been explored in his absence. Mello was invading a privacy that Matt had always taken for granted, and it filled him with a sense of defiance.

He tapped the space bar. The screensaver vanished.

Mello froze as a text box appeared and a phantom of cyberspace began typing a message across the screen.

HELLO MELLO. WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE TO THIS COMPUTER?

Mello's eyes widened. What the…? There was a pause. The screen kept talking at him.

I SEE YOU HESITATING. STATE YOUR BUSINESS WITH THIS LAPTOP, PLEASE.

Mello drew away from the screen. Bloody Mary. Why did he say please?

Matt was really playing it quirky, wasn't he. But Mello supposed it was a quirk of the trade. Should he type an answer into the text box? His fingers hesitated over the keys, but when he looked up again, more text was sprawling over the blank space.

MELLO… THIS IS ACTUALLY NEAR. I'VE BEEN MONITORING THIS CONNECTION, AND JUST SO YOU KNOW… I TOTALLY CAUGHT MATT WANKING OFF LAST NIGHT. CAN YOU TELL HIM TO MOVE HIS PORN STASH TO HIS SMARTPHONE INSTEAD?

7. MATT'S LAPTOP – TAKE 2

He tapped the space bar. The screensaver vanished.

Matt flew from Mello's blind spot and charged him like a pit bull.

"NOBODY TOUCHES MY LAPTOP! I'LL KILL YOUUU."

"No no no no — I didn't mean to rape your keyboard — I'M SORRYYYY!"

8. THE TUBE STATION

A little girl in mousy pigtails watched him pick at the fur around his collar. He stilled his hands and scanned the mass of exiting bodies when the train grated to a halt after what felt like hours.

Matt saw Mello getting off the car, and away he rocketed himself, pressing through the rush of people to make sure he didn't miss—

"Please mind the gap between the train and the platform when exiting th—" THUNK.

Matt looked down at his boot, now jammed. "Damn it."

READER QUESTIONS

1. From OvenBased: "What is it that you think, personally, drove Mello and Matt to do what they did, ultimately? Was it to stick it in the face to Kira, Near, all that crap, one last time? Or was it some sort of memorial to L's legacy? Or, was it a combination of all this and more? Tell me my dear, what do you think it was?"

I think they told themselves that it was to defeat Kira and save the world. They told themselves it was to follow up on L's great mission, because they loved L so, and they were sad about his passing. They told themselves they would let themselves die to give Near what he needed to finish the job, the moment they realized that they themselves couldn't. They told themselves ALL those things, and to some degree, they definitely believed it, so therefore it really was true. But in the end, I think the reason for their suicide plan was simpler than all that.

I think two Wammy's orphans got tired, and jaded. Became trapped completely in a maze they were certain it was too late to get out of. I think they were too stubborn to change their minds, or maybe… they were just too scared to try. Too scared to break out of the world they'd grown up in, too fragile and weary to risk something beyond the kind of risks they were already used to. They were really only teenagers, no matter how genius their minds….

I think Matt and Mello simply gave up. And maybe they knew it a little, but in the end, they were okay with that. It was easier, and it hurt them less that way, because once you're dead the hurting stops. I think they thought maybe there'd be something better in the afterlife to help them start again – this time without the weight of what fate dumped on them when they were so small they didn't even have a choice.

2. From Living in a Fantasy: "Do you think that, not in the context of your story, but the duo in general, that either of them would ever have called off the plan? Not really in a canon sense, since we don't know how close Matt and Mello really were, although I expect they were at least somewhat close of friends."

I think Mello would definitely call it off, if he honestly saw the right window to do so. (He would only be able to if there were still a surefire way to catch Kira.) Mello resents Near, and will probably always have an urge to prove that he's better than Near, so if there were a way for him to live another day to continue that rivalry, Mello would make it happen. And then he'd kick Near's ass.

I think if Matt sat back and had a good long time to evaluate his situation, he'd decide that his own desires and motives were more important than the suicide plan (but again, only if catching Kira were still ensured somehow, even without his involvement). He'd pull out and leave Mello to whatever devices, and just say, "Fuck you guys." He'd go do what makes him happy, and he'd be glad to be free of the bullshit.

3. From slashhack: "Mello knows that Kira & co. have his real name. he knows Takada is in contact with Kira. but he takes his helmet off in front of her (before he knows Matt is dead) and gives her a clear shot of his face. why would he do that? he must know that it's that action above any others that ensures his death. even if Matt had lived, Mello had already essentially committed suicide."

I agree. Mello had to have known exactly what he was doing; he was far too smart to make a rookie mistake. I'm of the opinion that he did it deliberately, because he understood by then that he would have to die - to make the plan work, and because… he was ready. But I know others are of the opinion that Mello did make a mistake, because he was too distracted about Matt…. There's no real way to tell, I suppose. It's a great question to contemplate.

4. From: "What was YOUR idea about why Mello refused to give in to what he wanted?"

Assuming that by "what he wanted" you mean his desire for Matt, then…. I think Mello staved off any collapse into intimacy for two reasons. The first reason is the reason Mello gives Matt. If they got lost in each other, they would let go of the world, and then the world would be fucked. Lovers are selfish; they see the world only as it revolves around them. Mello knew they couldn't afford to act like that if they wanted to catch Kira.

The second reason Mello avoided giving in was because I think he was scared. Scared of what so much passion would do to him. Scared of the effort it would take to reevaluate. Also, scared of what would happen after he got what he wanted. What if after indulging, his tense relationship with Matt wasn't worth it any more? What if Mello decided he and Matt would never be able to date seriously? Imagine how Mello would hate himself if he threw the world to the dogs for what ended up to be only a fling.

The idea behind Mello's wanting to essentially preserve the wanting seems a little masochistic and stupid at first, but, if you think about it… maybe Mello just didn't want to ruin the holiness of such strong feelings by changing them up. If he only had a few days left, why not just accept – and dive into - the experience? Fuck if he'd want his last experience on earth to be anything less than epic sexual tension with a firebomb like Matt.

5. From Qwicka: "Do you think that Mello and Matt only realised there was something more between them because they knew they were going to die? If they had more time, would they not have realised in the first place or would they have gotten further?"

To the first question, a resounding YES. I mean, I'm sure Mello, at least, realized his attraction to Matt a lot sooner. But it only became painfully potent when he began to understand he might never get to grasp it. When you know you can't have something, isn't there a tendency to obsess over it more? And the longer Mello focused on it, of course the stronger he realized the feeling of attraction was.

In Matt's case, I think he's dense, and I think his light bulb definitely only went on because the situation was urgent, and he was running out of time. To your second question, if they had more time…. They probably would have eventually realized. But it may have taken years and years. If they ever followed through, they might have gotten farther… but would it feel as sweet? Probably not. It's only things we have for a limited time that we tend to treasure more in life, don't you think?