The Wrong Man

She found him alone, seated out of plain sight on a log that faced away from the jungle, toward the sharp rocks that caught the breaking waves. He still held the dark smudges of dirt and ash across his face, on his clothes and in his hair as if hadn't even spared them a passing thought. His eyes settled unfocused on the rolling waves, but somehow he still held his back straight and tall.

Her feet crunched through the wet sand as she approached, alerted to his presence on the beach by John Locke himself, who looked more jungle than man. When she was near enough to be heard, Ben's head shot up in her direction as if pulled from a different world without warning. She stopped short of five feet away, her arms dangling weak at her side instead of going protective over her chest.

He looked tired. His eyes were rimmed with red, dark circles underneath and a defeated line through his shoulders. He nodded, stiff and only once.

"Hello, Juliet," he said. The strength and confidence of his voice was gone.

"Hello, Ben," she responded, just as deadpan.

After the flat stare down of only a few moments, Ben turned his eyes shakily again to the ocean. "I'm afraid you'll find me a bit distracted."

She shifted her weight, looking around at the jungle and the ocean. She'd moved closer, small steps, until she stood nearly directly in front of him. "Where's Alex?"

His mouth opened once and then shut it quick and tight. His voice shook when his head snapped up to stare Juliet straight through.

"She's dead, Juliet. Those friends of yours from the freighter had her executed."

Under his too-hot stare, her hands shot up to her mouth to keep it from going slack. Ben didn't back down.

"Oh God." She didn't realize that she was sinking down until she was sitting beside him. His eyes had followed her all the way down. "Oh God, Ben..."

He finally averted his eyes, looking out harshly across the water. He nodded tightly, took a steadying breath, then looked back over his shoulder at the woman beside him. "I suppose John has told everyone about his phenomenal master plan by now. He makes a good fearless leader, don't you think?" His shoulders squared. "I lost everything. I lost my position, I lost my little girl." He faltered on the last and he took a moment to recover. "I'm nothing anymore."

Juliet brushed a strand of hair from her eye with a shaking hand that wouldn't recover from the shock. "Did you ever think you might be better that way?"

He started visibly, and shock came into his eyes. He stared her down for a good ten seconds before his voice came back, stronger than before and with a spike of grief. "Are you saying that Alex deserved to die?"

"You know that's not what I meant," she returned quickly.

Ben hid his face in one hand, running it up and down in attempts to ease the tension that pulled his lips taught and white. Something so human, something Juliet never thought to witness.

"I know." He didn't meet her eyes again. His following laugh was thin and shaky. "I made a choice, chose myself over the Island, and Alex has to die. I make a choice and I lose everything. Does that seem fair to you, Juliet?" He studied the sand at his feet.

It took her three times to finally decide to move her still-unsteady hand and place it overtop his as it lay at rest on his knee. His fingers flinched but he didn't look up.

"Life's not fair, Ben. I'd say I'm a pretty good expert on the subject."

He didn't wince, but she didn't expect him to.

"For what it's worth," he flicked his eyes minutely to hers, "I'm sorry about the submarine."

There was no malice left in anything he said. He didn't seem to have it in him anymore. Juliet pulled a ghost of a smile out of nowhere.

"You'll understand if I don't entirely believe you."

He nodded, tired and looking it. Under her hand, his fingers shook and he clenched his hand into a fist to stop them. A determined look settled into his face and he managed to catch the only dry sob that tried to leave his chest. He nodded again, stronger, and tried his best to meet her eyes with resolve.

"I am sorry, Juliet. It's too late for penance, but I know that most of what I've done hasn't been for the right reasons. I don't expect retribution or forgiveness. I just--I need to say it." He raised his eyebrows, as if surprised by his own candidness. "I'm the wrong man for everything," he said with the same surprised air. "The wrong man for the island, and the wrong man for you."

The last took her off guard, even more so when her hand didn't flinch away as she expected it to. It wasn't the same Ben who was looking out through those eyes at her. So much of him was missing that he completely ceased to be who he'd been before. Sympathy bubbled up inside of her unwontedly and her fingers gripped back at his.

She sat with him in the sound of the lapping waves for an hour in silence, with nothing to offer but the feel of her hand clutching his. For a man who had lost so much, it took so little to find him a bit of peace.

AN: Hum, I dunno if I can explain this one. Pretty sure I know this isn't how it's going to happen, but I wanted a sort of reconciliation between the two. Since Ben seems so changed from who he was, I wondered if Juliet mightn't forgive him, even in a small way. I have a small place in my heart for Ben/Juliet, if only because I love Ben and want to see him happy (hah, as if that'll happen...). So, uh, tell me what you think! Ben seems to have taken up living in my head, so if this seems OOC or just plain awful, lemme know. Thanks for reading, and stay awesome!