Teen Titans: All That I've Got

Chapter One: Memories

It was well past three in the morning. Titan Tower was quiet save the slight ambiance of Cyborg's energy charger and Beast Boy's snoring. Raven was meditating, late as usual. She tried to stay on center but couldn't help certain thoughts that crossed her mind. She remembered stepping out of the elevator for the first time. She thought of how he looked sitting at the edge of the tower, looking up at the sky. She remembered the first thing he said.

"Beast Boy, not tonight. I'm...just not in the mood..."

It made her smile. Just thinking about those small moments of perfect...

She stood beside him, "Good, because I'm not Beast Boy".

"Raven? I didn't expect to see you", he said.

She sighed. Despite how amazing everything felt it had ended. Things were back to the way they were supposed to be. Whatever that meant. But that would never change the way Raven felt...

"You should wear your hood down, you know?"

"What?"

"Why would you hide such a pretty face?"

All of the sudden Raven lost her grip on the levitation. Her mind was snatched out of meditation by a quick fall straight to the bedroom floor. This wasn't the first time. She had been losing her ability to maintain a stable meditation. She would begin to think of things. How things would have been if she and Robin were still together. During the days she'd look away and keep her feelings hidden. During the nights she'd hold her pillow and try to remember exactly how it felt to be with him. Months had passed and things had returned to the way they always had been. "Why did I let it get that serious?... I should have known this would happen... Why did I open up?...". No matter what she couldn't quit thinking, "Why did I let him go that easy?...".

O O O O

Daylight came and everyone gathered for breakfast. Cyborg stood over the stove with an apron and chef's hat on. "We're gonna eat good this morning, guys!", he exclaimed. "I got flapjacks, waffles, all kinds of eggs, bacon, gotta have bacon, sausage biscuts, ah man I can't even explain this feast!". After his rant he went back to cooking.

Raven took a seat at the table. After this Robin entered the room. He observed Cyborg and all of the food.

"Wow, Cyborg. What's for breakfast, man?", he asked with a smile.

"Let me just say that it's gonna be the bomb", his friend answered. Cyborg then gave a thumbs up to assure that he knew what he was doing.

Robin found a seat right next to Raven. As he sat down she didn't know what to think or what to say. "Why is he sitting beside me? Is he going to sit here the whole time?"

"Did you sleep well?", Robin asked.

"Me? Oh, sure. Yeah, I slept fine", she replied. She didn't really expect him to start talking to her like this.

Robin smiled. "Did you really sleep 'fine'?", he asked, still smiling.

Raven looked down at the table, "No, not really".

"I didn't either", Robin said, looking away out the window.

Raven sat and wondered. 'Is he having the same feelings that I am? Maybe he regrets his decision too'. Raven realized something that bothered her. 'That means... I'm saying that I regret the decision that I made... No... This isn't right... '.

Robin leant closer, "Raven are you okay?"

Raven rubbed her eyes, "Oh, I'm fine. Like I said, I didn't sleep well last night".

Starfire entered the room and sat at the table opposite to Robin. She looked over at him with one of her sweet sleepy princess smiles, "How did you sleep last night, Robin?"

"Really nice. I feel great today", He answered while stretching.

Raven listened to Robin and thought. 'He lied to her. He didn't sleep good. But what does that mean anyway? That he feels more comfortable talking to me than her? No way. He just doesn't want her to worry. That's it. She's the worrying type. He's straightfoward with me because we're just friends'. Raven had successfully convinced herself that there was absolutely no way that Robin had any feelings for her. She ran from all possibilities that there's something left of what they had.

Cyborg dressed the table with plates of food for everyone. The meals looked great. At the smell of freshly cooked breakfast Beast Boy awoke and entered the room. Everyone was seated and the feast began.

O O O O

The day had passed by like any other. A day of faking. A day of watching someone else enjoy being with the one you love. Raven laid in her bed and thought about the time when Starfire was away...

She thought of sitting beside Robin as they both watched the stars.

"I never knew my mother, but I see her in visions", she looked up at the stars. There were tears in her eyes now, "She was beautiful...". She began to cry, "I wish that...that I could have known her".

He wrapped his arms around her and held her close, "Raven...please don't cry..."

She looked up at him, still in tears, "But it hurts so much"

"Smile for me?", he said softly.

"Robin...", she was at a loss for words. She smiled. Not because she was told to, but because she was happy.

It was like reminiscing of these moments brought back some vauge scent of the feelings she felt back then. She smiled as she thought about the first kiss.

"Raven, wait!", he got up and followed her.

"I'm sorry, Robin. I...I can't do this. It's too much", she said as she pushed the elevator button.

The door was half closed when he squeezed through. He reached up and pulled her hood back down, "You don't have to be scared of this". The elevator door closed.

She backed against the elevator wall. "I've never felt this way before. I don't know what kind of influence it could have on my powers", she said, trying to think of a reason for him to stop.

Her excuses didn't stop him and before she knew it his lips were pressed against hers. The feeling was like nothing else. Weak knees and butterflies. She closed her eyes. She thought that her heart would beat out of her chest. She supressed her powers the best she could. The one light that illuminated the elevator's inside gradually grew brighter and brighter until it blew out. The only visible light came from the red tinted emergency lights and the sparks from the busted bulb. There was now only one color in the elevator, red. She felt the pressure on her lips ease. She opened her eyes to find herself looking into his.

Raven kept smiling. She held her pillow tight and found her way to sleep.

End of Chapter One

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