Filia vs. Lady Gaga

Inspired by Llybian Minamino list of silly Slayers prompts.

Filia goes to a Lady Gaga concert

Part One

There were many things she didn't like to talk about. A fondness for vases in the Bysentium area that tended to reveal too much skin. A taste for coffee. Her enjoyment of the color purple.

This event was also one of them.

It wasn't as though she had a lot of spare time on her hands, what with the store, and Val learning to roll around in his egg and knocking everything over. If this was a chance to relax, then who could judge her for it? What she did in her spare time was her business.

And it wasn't like she was the only person to enjoy this. Just the other day, she'd heard one of the clerks at the market talking about how she enjoyed those ridiculous outfits, those hats! even if she wasn't crazy about the latest song, and she was…sixteen.

Surely no one there would point and stare. Would know that she hadn't been sixteen for…quite some time now. They wouldn't circle around her as the strangers in her dreams would, to point and yell accusations for things she certainly hadn't done, closing around her while she fell to her knees and shrunk to become very small and helpless to only cover her face.

If they did, Filia could handle a few humans. If anyone even looked like they were going to going to point and laugh at her, she would just look confused and lost, like she'd stumbled here on accident. Ask for…someone named Lina. Yes, she had lost her friend, who was a big fan of this ridiculousness, and had no idea how she'd even ended up here. Maybe, if things grew dire, she could turn into a dragon.

As soon as she stepped into that amphitheater, she felt at ease.

It was not the ridiculous amount of people there, all ranging from pre-teens to those as old as Filia's great-grandfather, or that those people were dressed bizarrely as a tribute to the woman they were all there to see, regardless of their own gender and statue.

It was the sight of the hats that did it.

So many of them, ranging from small to huge and toppled with dangling bits, ill fitting some perhaps, but all showing care and devotion. This people…they understood headgear.

More than that, people having fun and enjoying what they held in common, a love of eccentric and loud music and this was enough to make them all like each other. People, strangers, hugging and singing their favorite songs together, beaming and complimenting each other

After a minute, she realized she was smiling.

It disappeared at the sight of a skinny not too tall man with horrible hair.

…Was that…?

What? No. That was insane, absurd.

At the least, the vast amount of joy would send him fleeing away to find a puppy to kick.

Still. Look at that hat. Those sequins. Who else but him?

He finally noticed her staring.

There was shame in those purple eyes, something Filia hadn't thought was possible. They just looked at each other, trying to find the right words to cut the other one down, to establish innocence while accusing the other of something so terrible they would curl up in dust from the sheer burn of it.

Nothing came out, however.

Instead, they just walked towards each other, like trying to gauge if the other was a mirage brought on by the sight of too many glowing light spells and the loud noises of high pitched screams.

"Filia."

"Xellos."

"Nice hat."

"Same."

Both of their tongues probed deep into their mouths, trying to stall for time.

"Had no you—"

"And you?"

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Let's just walk away."

"Good."

They turned on heel like the mature adults they were, and walked in opposite directions.

Only after several hundred yards away did the golden dragon allow herself to wonder what his favorite song was. It was like losing a chunk of your tooth, without pain, but annoying and something you just had to probe at and wonder if anyone noticed. She bought sparklers that would have made Jillias roll his eye in exasperation over, tiny torches that shifted color, overprised drinks and foods that hopefully wouldn't spill onto her dress.

By then, everyone was crawling closer to the stage, eyes growing wider and wider, the shrieks louder, and even Filia squealed a little when the lights began to flash and the band came out, and oh my god, there she was right there, and her feathered hat was perfect.

It was nearly religious, as blasphemous as it sounded. Everyone with their emotions and hormones going crazy. People kissing, hugging, singing along. It transcended what she'd expected in every way. The cheers, the lights, the music nearly deafening in the most perfect way, the music part of them and them part of the music, this was better than being back at the temple, all exhilaration, and she didn't feel guilty for being here, for loving this, and oh my god, she loved this song.

Her voice was raised to join all the others, and the chorus at the temple camp her parents sent her had never been anywhere this nice. Everyone howling without a care over what note they were hitting and if they were in key, because it didn't matter. Everyone was awesome, amazing, and this night was amazing, and so was this song.

She was pushed into people, pushed away, all of them moving even if it was to jump up and down like Amelia when she had too much sugar (which, for her, was any) and made Filia almost wish the others were here. It was so human here, so prime, Lina and Amelia and Gourry would have loved it. Even Zelgadiss might have enjoyed it. Thrown their hands up like everyone else, mashed into each other to hold strangers hands and not cared about how sweaty they were.

Then one of her favorite songs came on, one of her absolute favorite, and she was pushed against a guy, him as warm as her, all scrawny and signing along in a falsetto. The purple sequined hat was nearly falling off his head.

Filia found herself grinning at him, grinning with him. Just beaming at each other, sweat on their foreheads and darkening the colors of their collars. Their voices joining in an unholy way that anywhere else would have gotten them escorted out of hearing range with violence.

She'd never seen Xellos so happy without him actually hurting anyone.

He was pulling her in closer, to whisper in her ear, and make her giggle like Amelia on sugar being tickled. For once he wasn't wearing gloves, and her dress had never felt thinner. "Love this song!"

"I know!"

The closest she'd ever gone to dancing with him was passing out against him during an ill fated 'drinking game' she'd played with her friends, and him clinging to hurt after being hurt from fighting Val. Oh, and when he'd grabbed her to save her from those rocks, only to drop her on her face.

"Jerk!"

"What?"

"I said, you're a jerk!"

"What?"

"I hate you!"

"What?"

But then they were being enveloped by a seal of people, humanity dripping sweat, and then this amazing song came on, and even she had to bob her head like he was, hands still on her waist.

They were so lucky they didn't know anyone here.

Another song came on, then another, then another, and Filia couldn't recall moving much from that stop. Oh, sure, they were both pushed around from the sea of frantic humans, but Xellos was there, always. With that stupid hair in his face, mouth moving along with the songs and she doing the same, laughing and not vomiting when they brushed against the other's skin.

It was insanity. Xellos, a Mazoku, enjoying music, loud happy music, and dancing, and singing along with the artist up there (because that's what she was, an artist) about boys and dating. It made her laugh.

The exact details escaped her later. She remembered a brief intermission, changing of outfits, switching her hats for Xellos', sipping sour liquid out of politeness while the purple-haired man chugged tiny drinks filled with umbrellas. Him leading her around, then her leading him, them waving shimmering torches that could turn any color of the rainbow, buying tunics featuring lyrics and pictures of the singer, taking turns gushing about their favorite era of songs released and it turned out both of them loved the same ones.

And maybe she had, maybe, grabbed a few of the umbrellas hanging from his mouth that he sucked on disgustingly after finishing his drink, maybe she had pressed against him, maybe she had taken off his sweaty (how could he even do that?) shirt to replace it with one he'd bought, and maybe, maybe she had taken off her own dress to throw on an extra large tunic that used this great shiny, sparkly picture with lyrics from her favorite song. Maybe there had been a scene at the line of outhouses that had them running from the guards, taunting them with lines from songs.

Maybe there had been handholding. Maybe she had said he had a cute haircut.

Really, it was all a blur.

Things became clearer when the band was putting instruments away, and she found her eyes trailing from the artist who was thanking everyone with her boa nearly touching the ground when she bowed to where their hands were touching. Xellos was going on and on, his tan face flushed, about how his master wasn't crazy about him being here, and she insisted on him being back at the island two hours ago, and he was going to be in such trouble, but it was worth it.

"Xellos?"

"Hmm?"

"Can you let go of my hand now"

"Sure. But, well, I think I should walk you home."

"Excuse me?"

His jaw was hardly moving, but his Adam's Apple was jumping up and down. "You must be tired. I should be a gentleman and walk you home."

"I'm fine. Xellos. Let go."

"It would be rude to just leave you here. An innocent slightly drunk dragon on her own?"

"Xellos. I'm fine."

"Fine." He sighed. "So rude."

"I'm rude?"

"A simple nightcap is all I ask for."

"Didn't you have enough to drink?"

"Of tea then."

Something, her old tutors and mentors with their frowning beards and eyebrows, came back. 'You took a boy back to your house? No? What? YOU TOOK A MAZOKU BACK TO YOUR HOUSE?'

"If you're not so greedy as to not share a single cup of tea with me." His eyes weren't moving from her's.

'You held HANDS with him!'

She felt like she was missing something. A piece of this interaction. "Xellos?"

"Yes?"

"Are you inviting yourself back to my house?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"For tea."

"For tea?"

"And. Perhaps. More?"

"More? As in scones?"

"I. Supposed. Some humans might refer to it as such." Xellos shrugged.

"…are you talking about pastries?"

"I suppose we can have pastries. While we are engaging in antics that involve nudity. Perhaps while singing songs?"

A fly nearly landed into her mouth, and hundreds of miles away, Amelia awoke with an unexplained shudder. "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!"

Xellos grabbed an ear with a wince, that horrible voice grating her senses more than the band ever had. "Hey!"

"JERK! Weirdo. I. I don't even know the right word for that." Filia stomped away with a things swirling and flashing around her eyes from lack of sleep. "Pervert! My gods, who says something like that!"

Xellos was yelling at her back. "You held my hand! You initiated interest!"

"Not in that! And you grabbed me!"

Filia refused to look behind her as she stomped away, knowing that he had almost certainly disappeared already, and knowing further that that he would probably be waiting for her at home soon enough. What was wrong with him? Evil, bad taste, lecherous, handholding.

Saying something like that. Touching her most of the night. Abhorrent. A thousand showers would be needed for her to feel clean again.

For now, Filia would just try to do her best to enjoy the peace of walking home from an interesting experience and trying to block the Xellos part of the night out. She found herself humming and muttering a few lines as she walked home, "That boy is bad, and honestly, he's a wolf in disguise…"

Part Two

Filia attended her first concert at the age of sixteen, literally thrown from a moving car and still dizzy from the fumes of Lina's van, a hellish mixture of cheese and old Christmas trees. There was cruel laughter as she fell into a bush, skirt raised high enough that had she not been trying to make sure her jaw wasn't broken, would have embarrassed her.

"We'll see you later!"

"Enjoy the concert!" Gourry sounded so sincere that Filia was sure that he missed the point of this entirely.

Lina honked and waved. "Tell Amelia and Zel we said hi!"

More laughter as they sped away, leaving her in a crowded parking lot with people still trailing inside the concert hall staring at her.

"I don't even like her!" Filia managed to scream, pushing her hair out of her eyes. "It was Val's CD!"

But it was too late. She could only rub her bruised knees and watch the headlights disappear. All that was left was to stumble towards the building that sent up huge beams of light, like a beacon of rescue. They'd taken her cell phone, of course; Lina was nothing if not thorough when it came to muggings.

Music was already busily pouring out, too fast for her taste. She had simple taste in music, a strong dislike for synthesizers and keyboards. Give her a good classical (classical for a reason) piece on a piano, a little guitar if she was on the freeway. Maybe a flute if she was up to it.

Singers didn't even sound like humans anymore when it came to pop music nowadays.

Amelia, though, she loved it. If you couldn't jump up and down in a manic, unmedicated ADHD buzz, she wanted little to do with it. It was her idea for this concert, something she had gone on and on about, trying to convince the others to get interested that they all responded with by rolling their eyes and trying to change the subject.

Except for Zelgadiss, of course. He just went tense, face going a little pale beneath his sheet of hair. As her boyfriend, he had no defense for such a request. Saying no would get him pleading, desperate looks, or hideous pouting glares that seemed to effect him all the same. And if Filia disliked this music, Zelgadiss wanted to shove the sharpest thing he could find into his ears if he heard a single lyric from this singer. His taste too was simple, though much too focused on older, grungy rock.

Still. Better than Lina who enjoyed singers who seemed angry at everyone and required furious headshaking to properly enjoy (which was hideously dangerous when Lina was behind the wheel), and Gourry who was currently obsessed with the Beach Boys, who were so sappy that even Amelia couldn't much more than a few songs from.

All of that only made her feel worse.

The crowds made her want to literally run away. Not just that there were so many people, so many it made the trips to the mall look like nothing, but the quality of people here. The outfits. The hats. My gods, the hats.

She'd been mocked by her own headgear, especially when she'd been forced into those awful braces that went all the way around her skull from the ages of seven to ten, but that was nothing compared to this. Everything glittered, even the feathered hats. It made her blink and hold a hand up to shield her eyes while she looked for her supposed friends.

When she finally managed to find Amelia, she was seemingly covered with glow sticks, standing on the base of a pillar, singing, and trying to get her boyfriend to join in. He was normally good for that, even as his face would contort in grimaces and he would complain later of even knowing the lyrics to those songs. "Come on, Zelgadiss."

Zelgadiss' face was unspeakable. He looked as though he'd just witnessed a horrible car accident, one involving the severing of limbs and fragile bodies exploding, shredded, from the windows. Just like the videos they would show to scare everyone in driver's ed. His eyes were simply too big for his face.

When he saw her, he didn't even look released. Instead, his eyes flashed and told her to run.

"I know," she told him. "But Lina abandoned me."

The shorter girl was outraged. "What? She was our ride!"

"I don't think she cares."

"We should leave." Zelgadiss sounded decisive. "Now. Before it gets too dark out."

Amelia was all huge sad puppy face. "The show hasn't even started yet!"

"We have no ride back. I told your father, gave him my word, that I would have you back by eleven."

She waved a hand. "Oh, Daddy doesn't care."

"What?"

"He knows we'll be safe."

"Do you have a cell phone?"

They shook their heads and answered simultaneously. "Lina took ours at school."

Filia wanted to shake a fist at the red-head's general direction. "Damn her."

Amelia shoved both of them towards the doors. "We're getting late. We need to find our seats! Wait. We should just go right down to the moshpit." A word she had most definitely learned from Lina.

Her boyfriend was all chalky again. "That's insane. I told you father that I'd keep you safe-"

"You know, Daddy, he made me give him my word that I would be safe with you."

Zelgadiss paused. "Safe in what way?"

Amelia giggled in the most insidious way. Filia wanted to run away.

"Knock it off you two."

She didn't even need to look besides her to know the teenager was blushing. "Amelia's the one that started talking about it."

More giggling. "About what, Zelgadiss?"

"Shush."

If the blonde girl rolled her eyes back further, she would strain them and have to go to the optometrist. Again.

"Let's just get this over with."

The small dark-haired girl took over. Something she must have also learned from Lina. Shoving them like cattle towards booths for souvenirs, buying beads to throw over their necks, stupid hats that she made Filia replace her own beloved simple hat for and she shoved on her date's head to nearly break his neck. Then Filia was forced to look away and pretend to be someone else as they ended up kissing desperately in their struggle.

By the end, she herself was forced to separate the starry-eyed pair and shove them towards the center of the amphitheater. The chance to sit in their assigned seats disappeared at a single glance at the huge crown of people. The music was deafening. They were pushed forward and back, until they joined the huge gathering by the stage. People here were even more insane, hugging and jumping up and down.

Amelia joined them by jumping up and down in front of Zel, cheering and singing along, while he seemed unable to move his head rude from her chest. Filia wanted to slap him until someone else was slammed into her, and there was a song playing, something about hot blondes in what positions? What?

A guy was staring at her, eyebrows up, trying to make a come on face to her that made her feel sick all over again. He smelled of cologne, and she was certain that he'd snagged it from his father since the scrawny guy with this horrible haircut didn't look much older than her. Especially in a turtle neck. He was mouthing along with words, trying to appear sensual, 'I like you a lot lot, all we want is hot hot', until the next part about boys boys boys came on and he looked uncomfortable.

It broke something in her. Filia started to scream, unnoticed by the vast majority of people around her doing the same. But this loser could see the real rage on her face, and looked momentarily surprised, then grinned in a way that was either psychotic, or showed that he was mentally disabled, which made Filia almost feel bad.

Until he was mouthing 'bad boy with retro sneakers, let's go see The Killers and make out under the bleachers.' And then she noticed his shoes, and hated him.

He was a horrible awkward dancer too, all jerky and worse than even Zelgadiss with that idiotic haircut that was not meant for headshaking. Coming closer to her, and she was surrounded on all sides by people, with no escape no matter how much she panicked and tried to push them away, throwing scared glances behind her shoulders in the weirdo's direction. He saw all this, and only came closer, doing this ridiculous motion with his hips.

She shoved that skinny little jerk as hard as she could, not thinking until later about lawsuits and police action. Her parents were already displeased at hearing about her fights at school, not matter how much Filia tried to explain that it was just with Lina, and she fought with everyone. He bounced off someone else, and went flying back at her, momentum the only thing keeping him on his stupid yellow sneakered feet.

Where was Amelia, Zelgadiss? Then he was flying back into her, nearly breaking her nose on his forehead, and she had to shove him back, it was purely self-defense at this point. The dork came right back, but when Filia pushed him again, she was sure her point of disinterest was made. His hair was a mess, but he was looking up, grinning.

Psycho. Lips moving, eyes all creepy and much too light for his tan skin and purple hair, 'show me your teeth.'

Filia tried to flee, pushing people aside, crawling through warm singing quicksand, just trying to get away, feeling a bruise growing on her cheek. Even the boys in her class, who were far from the sanest individuals, as one collected dolls and proudly showed them off, boys who robbed and beat one another in front of teachers, and her own adopted sibling who in-between getting into brawls on the sports field, would paint flowers on the lockers and write poetry on the gym doors. They would have been appalled by the gall of this man. Even Gourry, who had literally proposed to a shell-shocked and later furious Lina, right there when she was in the middle of spelling bee that she lost, would have said this was too much.

Had she done something to deserve this? Obviously, nothing now to set him off since obviously she hadn't been flirting, but in a past life?

Someone was grabbing her wrist. "Hey. Hey!"

"Get OFF ME!"

"Wait. What's your name?"

"GET OFF ME!"

Somehow, he slid around to stand in front of her, still holding her sweaty wrist.

"Wait. Hang on. You can't just run away. After you assaulted me like that."

"What?"

"I think you owe me dinner for that."

"Get away from me!"

"What's your name? Hang on. I think I know. Mimi."

"Shut up! It isn't!"

He was seizing her up with an awful pair of light purple eyes. "Felicity."

"No!"

"Hmm. Oh, wait. Are you still in high school?"

"Wait. Are you in college?"

"Of course. Haha, how cute." He put his hands together to applaud himself with a single clap. It was girlier than the with the dolls explaining how he sewed the tiny delicate dresses himself. "Do your parents know you're here? Aren't you going to miss your curfew?"

No. And yes. "Well, what kind of creepy guy shows up at these places and tried to pick up high school girls!"

"You picked me up!"

"I did not!"

"Did so. Excuse me," he reached out to grab a stranger. "You saw what she did, right ma'am, how she attacked me?"

The woman pulled away and sped past them.

"Where's the common human decency around here? I need a rape whistle."

"Stop it!"

"Does anyone have a rape whistle? Pepper spray!"

"Shut up!"

It was the easiest thing to grab him by his stupid black puffy vest and try to strangle him with the collars of it. That didn't work, so she was left grappling with him, him giggling, spinning him around, trying to knee him in the groin, hating him, hating him and blaming him for this entire awful night. He was the cherry on the entire goddamn evening.

And she would be grounded for all this was the real kicker.

Her parents would probably send her off to that boarding school after all.

"That tickles!"

"Shut up!"

"Keep doing that thing with your knee. Wait. You're sixteen right?"

"I hate you!" She grabbed a handful of his hair, and he finally stopped laughing.

"Hey. Let's talk about this. Over coffee."

"Gods, you're so disgusting. How can you be so disgusting!"

"Where did you get that hat?"

"You repulse me!"

"'Cause I like that hat."

"Stop following me around!"

"I'm simply walking around. If you are walking in the same direction, I have no control over that."

Her eyes were jumping around in her skull.

"But I really do like that hat. It accentuates your…head. Your hair."

Her cheek was twitching now. Surrounded by people, and no help anywhere. This was from a horror movie.

"I don't know why you're so freaked out. You're lucky I'm not pressing charges from attacking me. It was awfully rude of you. Really, who pushes someone like that."

"In a moshpit?'

He seemed to be thinking that over. Squinting and scratching a cheek. "Fair enough. But no one's ever gotten into a brawl with me in a concert before."

Filia glanced around for an exit. "Do you normally come onto a lot of sixteen-year-olds at concerts?"

"Oh, I love this song. Dance with me?"

"What? Oh gods, no!"

This was that one song they kept playing, one that Filia didn't even understand and resented now to have to hear it not only being sung to her from huge speakers, but nearly straight into her ears from some pervert trying to pick her up. What did 'studded leather kiss in the sand' even mean?

Oh gods. This was the first time anyone had flirted with her. Sad.

Where was the romance in her life? All her friends had dates, relationships, and she was stuck with some goober in a turtleneck trying to ask for her ID in-between asking what her sign was. And was she single?

"Oh gods."

"Yeah," he was nodding. "I don't think you're fighting the boys off. Not with that attitude."

"Shut up!"

"Now now. Did you come here alone?"

He was probably going to follow her to her car, copy down the license plate number if not follow her to her home, find out her phone number to call periodically and hang up. No, wait, this guy would leave messages. Terrible ones that she would have to explain to her parent's.

And he was now singing, 'tainted loooove. Don't toooouch me, please I cannot the way you teeeasse." Without any real context, and clashing with the real song in the background. His voice. Oh, that awful voice. It killed part of Filia's soul. Her stomach was actually shaky after hearing that nasally drone. And he had little movements to match it.

She closed her eyes. "I want to go home."

He stopped dancing in place, and thankfully, singing. "Is that an invitation?"

For a brief moment, the fantasy played out of bringing this man home. To meet her parents, who were no doubt waiting for her. To see their expressions of pure horror and grief, not only of their little girl having a 'boyfriend' but of this man in his hipster tight black jeans that really showed off his lack of ass, and that ridiculous haircut and how he would no doubt be so nonchalant about taking their daughter to her bedroom, and joining her for the night. 'See you for breakfast. I like waffles! Now, Filia, let's see if we can make those stuffed animals on your bed cry.' For a moment, Filia understood how people could go skydiving or play Russian Roulette. "No. just a general statement."

"You're an odd girl. I like that. Most girls would already be having their way with me in the backseats of their cars—"

Her outburst of laughter that rocked her entire body shocked even Filia herself. "Ha-ha-hah, sure, sure."

"How dare you. But see, I made you laugh. Girls like that."

"How would you know?"

"Harsh. And coming from a girl I'm already halfway to first base with."

"If you think this is first base, I'm so sorry the public educational system has failed you so much."

"I, eh, actually went to a private school."

"Standards falling all over the place."

"Now now, you would have loved me in my uniform. Tight black pleated pants. Me in my tennis whites. Oh Felicity, honey, don't worry, I'll catch you if you swoon."

"That's not my name!"

"What is it then?"

"It's…" Lie! Say it's Lina Inverse! Lie! Let him stalk her, not you!

"Miss Filia!" Amelia was chirping at her, skipping over somehow, dragging Zelgadiss who seemed unable to focus his eyes anymore.

"'Filia'?" He was beaming, like he'd discovered a cure to some rare disease, all on his own. "Nice. Look how close I was-"

"Hi Amelia!" Filia nearly hugged her. "Let's get out of here."

Amelia was pushing sweaty hair out of her eyes. "What? But we need to call a taxi."

The taller girl grabbed her elbow. "We'll hitchhike if need be. Let's go."

"I have a car!" He sounded as happy as Amelia. They smiled at each other. It made Filia extra sick. What had dinner been exactly anyway? It seemed like hours ago since she'd eaten; she would remember when it came back up.

"Oh, that would be nice."

"Amelia, forget it. I don't want to be in a car with this man."

He was smiling easily. "She's afraid to be alone with me. You know. Hormones, lack of control. Understandable."

The dark-haired girl was nodding. "Oh."

"NO! NO, NEVER!"

"Let's just leave." Zelgadiss' voice sounded grizzled, like he'd picked up a three pack a day cigarette habit for thirty-years in the span of the hour or so they'd been separated. "Who cares whose car it is?"

"Your friend there is right." He was beaming at the other two, while Filia just stared at her 'friends' pleadingly. "I'll get you home in a jiffy."

He would drop her friends off first, then leave her alone with him. Even if her house was closer. It was as though Filia could see into the future.

Of course, if she really could see into the future, she would have seen what would happen tomorrow when her parents finished yelling and grounding her and threatening to get pamphlets to good boarding schools, and when she told her friends all about last night Gourry wanted to know if she'd brought him a hat and Lina was too busy laughing and going 'oh god, Xellos, that guy? He's insane. And a pervert. Can't believe you're dating him.'

And that her shriek of 'aren't you listening to me at all! And how do you even know him!' would get Filia sent to the principal's office.

Amelia didn't notice her horror. "So what's your name?"

"Xellos." He started to lead them out of the pit where Filia felt like she'd left something very important in.

"Hi, there, Mister Xellos!"

Zelgadiss clung to Amelia the entire way out. Xellos chauffeured them out, trying to hold Filia's hand even as she slapped him away, refused especially his offer of one last dance.

The night air had never felt so clean and crisp, and Filia felt a million times better, even as she shivered and wished for a coat. Xellos, an idiotic name that fit him to a t, tried to put his arm around her, and was met with several kicks and an elbow to the ribs. She made sure to even refuse his offer of his puffy ugly vest, and especially started to scream 'no' when he began to remove his turtleneck.

"Fine, fine." He smoothed down his shirt. "My car's right around here. Can't miss it. It's the…purple one."

"…There are several purple ones, Mister Xellos."

"Uh-huh. It's a little brighter than that one. And dark than that one."

"That one?"

"Nope."

"That one?"

"No."

"That one?"

"Mine's a Mazda."

Zelgadiss glanced around. "That doesn't help at all."

Ankles were whacked against curbs as they walked around, yelling, and Filia cursed Xellos even when he found his car. Hating him just for the giant white dice in his rearview window.

"Why does it have a sign saying 'Baby On Board', Mister Xellos."

Of course. He was married and with a baby. Made…not much sense since why would any woman want to marry and procreate with such a creature. But at least she had another excuse to show disinterest besides his personality and looks.

"Oh, I thought it would make people drive more carefully around me."

"Does it work?"

"Nope. Give me a second." He was digging through his jean pockets while Filia clutched her forehead and leaned against the door of the Mazda.

"If you lost those keys." Zelgadiss still sounded out of it. "I will murder you right here."

"Calm down there. Hmm. Filia?"

"What?"

"Could you help me out here? I need an extra hand in these pockets."

Filia reached down for a chunk of cracked pavement. "You stay away from me!"

He touched his vest. "Oh. Here they are."

Inside, it smelled of wet dog. Filia didn't even bother to ask. She simply tore down the 'Baby on Board' sign and held her tongue. The leather seats were freezing under her butt, but it was so nice to be sitting. And the seats were better than the stained carpet and jerry-rigged stools set up in Lina's van.

"Aw, Filia." He started up the engine and was immediately turning on the heat and pushing the vents towards her. Immediately, she was suspicious. "But there's a possible baby in this car now."

"Who? Wait. Is that an insult about my age?"

"Oh no. I was simply insinuating that that you could my 'baby' if you agreed to go out for coffee with me. But thanks for the age comment."

"…Awww."

Filia threw the sign towards the back seat. "Shut up Amelia."

"But it was cute."

Xellos stuck out his tongue at the seething blonde. "I see how you immediately jumped to be besides me."

All she could come up with was, "Yourf backseat smelled too awful."

"See. This wasn't so bad."

Filia glanced around her shoulder. "What? What are you talking about?"

Amelia leaned back in her seat, smiling the wise smile of Buddha, or Lina when she had blackmail on you. "Zelgadiss and I got a chance to dance. That was nice."

Zelgadiss grumbled nonsense.

"And Filia even met someone! Someone who didn't run away when she got violent."The last part was said nearly under her breathe. Filia heard every word.

"What? What are you talking about! I didn't meet anyone!"

"But…Mister Xellos?"

"He's not anyone!"

Xellos was laughing. "Oh, Filia. I'm not anyone? More than a simple anyone? How sweet. How old are you again?"

"Shut up! You're not anyone because you're not people!"

Xellos was fumbling with a CD case.

Filia gave him a flat glare. "Don't you dare.

"Don't even think about it."

He smiled blandly, sliding the CD into the neat little player.

"Don't even."

The tanned fingers hitting buttons.

"I hate you."

Him mouthing along, 'He ate my heart, he ate my heart.'

"So much."