Title: Appendix

Rating: PG/K+

Summary: What if Charlie had been the one with appendicitis? More humour than angst. Seriously, the mere premise is funny.

Characters: Charlie, Hurley, Jack, Bernard, Daniel, Claire and others.

Word Count: 3,023

Disclaimer: The only thing I can lay claim to is the brilliant decision to bring Charlie back alive. Let's all forget that death thing ever happened. Oh, and the inspiration for this fic came from alixzin.

Following Locke hadn't turned out to be such a good idea after all. Charlie, Claire, Aaron, Sawyer and Hurley along with the bloke Miles from the freighter were lucky to make it back to the beach once the bullets started flying and the war against Ben began. Now they were back with Jack's group, having returned chastened like wayward children, seeking reacceptance into the camp that now seemed to be their last hope for rescue.

Except that oddly, rescue wasn't happening here either. Charlie was concerned at first that they might have literally missed the boat, so much so that they hurried back as fast as they could. But to his surprise, they returned to find not a single bag packed. Tents were fully inhabited, the kitchen area was active, it was just as it was before, the only difference was that the beach was now playing host to two wacky new neighbours, Dan and Charlotte, scientists from the boat. It was like season four of a bad sitcom.

Charlie found that odd to be sure. These people were supposed to be taking everyone off the island and instead they had simply moved in, as if the sandy shore was desirable beach front property. Of course after the other men from the freighter began kicking ass and taking names -- in camouflage no less, never a good sign -- Charlie didn't quite know what to believe or who to trust, so he fell back on an old standby and went back to trusting Jack. The man's leadership hadn't really failed them yet and at the moment, it seemed plan A was well and fully blown at any rate.

Jack was glad to see them all, even Sawyer. Claire's old tent was empty, exactly as they'd left it. Charlie asked Jack when they were leaving and got a noncommittal answer and some vague assurances for his trouble, so they moved right back in like they had only returned from a disappointing vacation, complete with lost luggage since they had nothing with them but the clothes on their backs and the baby. By the end of the day it seemed as though the camp torpor was like a virus that had spread to them as well. Neither he nor Claire minded though, it felt good just to have some peace again.

They had barely been back for one day when Charlie awoke feeling sick to his stomach with a funny pain in his side that he assumed was a pulled muscle. He didn't drink much water on the long trek back to the beach so thinking he was dehydrated, he got up, filled the two empty bottles he had and drained them while still standing at the catch basin.

"Thirsty much?" asked a voice from behind him.

Charlie turned to see a smirking mousy sort of man, wearing a necktie of all things. Charlie smiled a bit despite his wariness -- he couldn't help but wonder when the beach had gone formal in his absence. The man obviously had thought he had made a joke by his expression, but Charlie guessed he wasn't the smoothest of talkers normally. For one thing, he quickly broke eye contact when Charlie looked at him. It wasn't suspicious behavior necessarily, more squirrely. He got the sense that the guy was just trying a little too hard to be friendly, which he supposed was a right sight better than the English redheaded girl and the Chinese guy who weren't trying at all.

"Are you still here?" Charlie asked him. "Daniel, right? Shouldn't you be off talking to your mates on the ship and estimating the time of departure?"

Daniel nodded. "Sure, sure. Only, we're having some technical difficulties with the communication equipment, so…"

"You mean the phone isn't working?" Charlie asked, enunciating clearly as though he were teaching the physicist new words.

"Yeah, the phone," said Daniel.

Charlie shook his head. It was always something. He wished Sayid were there. He could fix anything. Sighing, he turned to go when a sharp twinge stopped him and he grabbed his side.

"Are you okay?" asked Daniel.

Charlie closed his eyes, took a deep breath and in a second the pain subsided. "Yeah, yeah it's nothing, just a cramp."

He decided to go back to his tent to lie down. Claire must have gone for a walk with Aaron because she wasn't there. Either that or she was visiting with Sun, whom she had missed. Just as well, thought Charlie, I don't need her to fuss over me. I just need to be left alone for a bit. He closed his eyes and fell deeply asleep.

"Charlie?"

Someone was waking him from… somewhere. It was hard to tell with a head stuffed with bricks wrapped in cotton wool. He felt so heavy, but the voice wouldn't let up and there was a hand shaking him now. Every jostle sent a shocking pain through his abdomen. He wished he could tell them to stop.

"Come on dude, wake up. Claire wanted you to take Aaron for a while and I've been watching him but I ran out of games to play. I did the peekaboo thing and the one with the toes, but that's my whole act. You've been sleeping all day."

"Hurley," Charlie muttered, more as an answer to a question than a greeting. "What time is it?"

"Half past the half-built church. I don't know man, late afternoon maybe?" he said, squinting at the sun that hung low over the ocean's horizon. "It's all relative anyway, if you believe the professor."

Hurley had been holding Aaron expectantly as he spoke, no doubt waiting for some indication that Charlie was going to reach out and accept him. Instead, when Charlie sat up and looked at him, Hurley gripped the baby a little tighter.

"Whoa, you feeling okay?" Hurley asked. "You're kind of green around the gills."

"What?"

"You're sick dude," Hurley translated.

"No, I'm okay," he protested, reaching out to Aaron. "Here, I'll take him."

But Hurley stepped back. "I don't know man. What if it's something contagious? I better get Jack."

His friend turned and walked off. Charlie pushed himself off the bed to follow him but his head swam and he swayed.

"Hurley wait," he called, "I don't need… Jack."

Then the sandy ground came up and slapped him in the face.

When Charlie woke next it was to Jack's voice. Behind him stood Juliet like pepper to his salt. Why did they always have to travel in pairs these days, Charlie thought hazily. Juliet still acted like she needed Jack's protection from the rest of the camp. Charlie didn't mind Jack there of course but he didn't want that other anywhere near him, particularly like this.

Charlie looked around and realized he had been moved to another tent, Jack's maybe, though he didn't know who had done it.

"Charlie, can you hear me?" Jack was saying, a bit insistent, as though he had been saying it for quite some time.

He nodded, or at least he thought he did. It must have been good enough for Jack.

"When did this start?" he asked Charlie.

"Just this morning, all of a sudden," he answered, surprised at the sound of his own voice. "My stomach hurts."

Jack lifted up Charlie's shirt and began pressing on his right side. "Does this hurt?" he asked, but he needn't have bothered because when he hit the spot the answer was obvious. Charlie nearly ejected out of the roof of the tent.

"Have you ever had your appendix out?" Jack asked him.

"What? No. But I can't," he stammered. "I mean, you can't. Not here."

"There's nowhere else but here," said Jack. "It's not my first choice either but I'm afraid to move you. That appendix ruptures and you're in a lot of trouble."

All the time Charlie watched Juliet out of the corner of his eye. She was observing the exchange in silence, supporting Jack from behind like a kickstand. She didn't need to say anything; just her presence was creeping Charlie out. It reminded him of the time she and Jack had returned from the Others' camp together and everyone had thought she was a spy. Turned out she was, but she admitted it freely and immediately began spying for them. Still, just the fact that she changed alliances as smoothly as Charlie changed his socks was enough for him not to trust her, that plus the fact that she had admitted her involvement in Claire's abduction, the one that had almost gotten Charlie killed.

"Does she have to be here?" Charlie asked Jack.

Jack glanced over his shoulder, like he wasn't quite sure who Charlie was talking about. She had become his permanent shadow, and it was as if Jack didn't even notice her anymore.

Before he could say something, Juliet said, "It's not a problem, I'll go. But Jack, there are instruments and supplies in the medical station you could use. I could go get them if you need me to."

"Yeah, thanks," said Jack, tearing himself from Charlie's bedside with a reassuring hand on the younger man's shoulder. "I'll make you a list of what I need." Before leaving, he turned back one more time. "Don't worry Charlie, you're going to be fine."

"Really?" Charlie asked, "How many crude primitive surgeries on beaches have you done Jack? And just in case, where do you suggest they hook up the life support machines around here?"

Jack smiled and left the tent.

"I wasn't kidding," Charlie murmured to himself.

Jack wasn't gone for three minutes when Claire and Hurley came in.

"How's it going dude," asked Hurley. "Jack told us what he's doing."

"Great," said Charlie. "I'm doing just peachy, apart from the small matter of the operation on Deathtrap Island."

"Are you scared?" asked Claire, stepping forward for the first time.

Charlie thought Claire looked more scared than he was, quite scared enough in fact, so he wasn't about to burden her. "No," he said. "I trust Jack."

"Do you want me to be there with you when they…" she began and then her words trailed off, at a loss.

"No," Charlie said quickly. "You don't have to. I'll be fine." Then he paused and added for good measure, "Hurley will be with me."

"I'll be what now?" Hurley blurted out, looking as though Charlie had jumped up and struck him in the face. One meaningful look from Charlie that said play along and he quickly recovered. "I mean I will. Of course I will. I wouldn't miss it."

Claire looked dubious but didn't argue and Charlie was relieved. "Okay," she said, "I'll see you when you… well, after."

She leaned down, kissed him lightly on the cheek and left. As soon as she was gone, Hurley exclaimed, "Dude, what was that? Am I your girlfriend now?"

"C'mon Hurley, I don't want to put Claire through that," he said.

"What gives you the idea that she's more delicate than I am? And before you try to answer that and piss me off I'm not good around blood, ask Jack. He might not even want me there."

"Well how do you think I feel?" countered Charlie. "I'll be the one doing the bleeding. I need you there Hurley, you're like… a rock. Literally, like a great big…"

"Watch it dude, you had me at I need you but you're losing it again," said Hurley.

Charlie looked at his friend with the most pathetic expression he could muster. "Please?"

"Sure thing, man."

It wasn't until nightfall that Jack said that Juliet had returned. An hour later, he came back and said everything was ready.

"Don't you want to wait until you have the added benefit of sunlight?" asked Charlie. "I mean, I know you're a miracle worker and all Jack, but why choose this moment to challenge yourself?"

"It can't wait," said Jack. "We've set up a clean area, there's plenty of light in there. It's good."

"If you say so," he said, groaning as he sat up.

Jack reached out and helped him walk to the tent where in addition to a crude operating table, Charlie saw Hurley, Bernard and of all people, Daniel.

"What's he doing here?" Charlie demanded as Jack helped him up onto the table.

"Well, you said you didn't want Juliet," Jack explained, "so Bernard and Daniel were the next best thing. They have surgical skills."

It was to Jack's credit that he didn't overrule Charlie on Juliet. Charlie knew Jack was remembering his experience with Ethan and was sensitive to Charlie's prejudices, as unfair as they may have seemed. He knew Bernard was a dentist, but Daniel had said he was a physicist so what was up with that?

"What kind of surgical skills does a scientist have?" Charlie asked, hoping he could dispatch the twitchy little newcomer quickly.

"I ran experiments with animals, and at times…," Dan paused and winced, "performed… autopsies on them."

"What?" said Charlie, almost sitting up and bolting before stopped by Jack. "Jack, he's here because he thinks I'm a bloody lab rat!"

"Calm down Charlie," said Jack. "He's just handing me the instruments. Bernard is monitoring the anesthesia."

"Yeah, and what's that then, a blow to the head?" asked Charlie, feeling less comfortable with the whole situation with each passing second. He was glad that Claire wasn't there to see him freaking out, because that's what he was doing, he realized. He was freaking out.

Bernard laughed. "We're not barbarians Charlie. We have chloroform and some local anesthesia for the area. Now just relax. This is routine surgery, you'll be fine. I'm sure Jack's done hundreds of these."

"Have you Jack?" asked Hurley.

"Sure," Jack nodded, "maybe not hundreds, and not since my residency, but I still remember where everything is. I think."

"Bloody brilliant," said Charlie, sighing and closing his eyes.

"Dude, you been working on that bedside manner thing we talked about?" asked Hurley.

"Yeah, bad time to start developing a sense of humour, Dr. Giggles," Charlie muttered through his hands, "Now can we get on with this please before Daniel gets the chance to show us what he does best?"

"Uh, no, I didn't mean…" Daniel stammered.

"Shut up dude," said Hurley. He pointed to the tray. "Instruments."

"Just breathe Charlie," said Bernard, placing a soaked cloth over his mouth. Charlie crossed himself quickly just before passing out.

The next day he found himself in the position he had tried to avoid before the surgery, being fussed over by Claire. Charlie couldn't stand being bedridden but he quickly learned that moving around wasn't an option, at least not for the first day or two according to Jack. He was also a bit limited in his painkilling options, narcotics not being a viable one, or he might have been up and around sooner. Charlie would have given anything for something stronger than aspirin to quiet his throbbing stitches.

"Are you sure I can't get you anything else?" Claire asked, with a pile of just in case items already by the bed – playing cards, extra blanket, water, and a notebook if he felt like writing.

"No really love, you can stop now," said Charlie. "Why don't you go visit Sun for a while?"

"Well you can't get up, and I just want to be here in case you need anything," she said.

Charlie had never seen her so solicitous. Usually she was the one that needed assistance and Charlie was happy to oblige. He was uncomfortable having the shoe on the other foot. It just didn't feel like – them. Already he was anxious to recover completely just so things could get back to normal.

"What more could I possibly need?" he asked. "You've brought me the entire beach."

"Well how about you get some rest then," she said. "The one thing I can still give you is peace and quiet."

"That's two things," Charlie noted with a grin.

"If you weren't sick I'd hit you for that," said Claire, smiling.

"Go enjoy yourself," Charlie told her. "Please. I'll be fine."

Everyone had been by to see him, even Daniel, clutching some straggly wildflowers he had collected. The odd bugger was starting to grow on him; Charlie suspected they might actually be friends before long, animal autopsies aside. Everyone needed a hobby, he supposed. One day soon he would have to ask Daniel if his people were really there to rescue them.

If they ever did get off the island, Jack's field surgery would make a great story for the media. No one in the real world would believe that they had survived on the island for as long as they did, given the fact that it was something less than a tropical paradise.

"Jack," Charlie asked later in the day when the doctor came by to change his bandage, "this rescue idea isn't turning out like we thought it would is it?"

"No," Jack agreed, "but that doesn't mean it won't happen. There's still a boat out there and all we have to do is get to it."

"That's assuming the men with the machine guns don't mind," Charlie said.

"Sawyer told me what happened over there," Jack said. "I don't think they care too much about their science team. He also mentioned the helicopter pilot Frank who helped you escape. Those other men seem to be on a different mission entirely. So maybe we can join forces with the good ones and work something out."

Charlie thought of Daniel again, too nerdy to be nefarious. He could easily see him as someone who had gotten in over his head, someone who had been lied to just like they were. He seemed to have a special rapport with that Charlotte woman as well. Maybe they could work something out that would benefit them all. Just as Jack had promised to get them rescued, Charlie had made a similar promise to protect Claire and Aaron, and as long as they were alive and well, that day was still yet to come.