A/N: I am going to be sentimental for a bit, but only because I can and it's the last chapter, dang it. Thank you so much to all of you that read and review this. Trust me, this story wouldn't be here without your support. I never expected it to even get to 10 chapters, let alone 50. I really hope you had as much fun reading this story as I had writing it.
Thank you again and for the last time, I hope you enjoy this chapter :).
Finding Heaven
Almost a month later, Rory walked into the bedroom, jumping on the bed excitedly.
"Vacation! Almost Christmas! Stars Hollow!" She giggled, falling down on the bed.
"Really? Because you haven't been talking about this for the past two weeks."
"I'm excited." She bit her lip, looking into his eyes.
"But you're so subtle about it. I couldn't tell a thing!" Pulling her down closer to him and kissing her, Jess kissed her, smiling. "Ready to go?"
"I've been ready for hours! A week of Stars Hollow with nothing to do? Bliss."
"Coffee, breakfast, then we go."
"But Jess!" She pouted, giggling at the same time.
"Final offer."
"Oh, fine." Standing up, she took his hand, trying to pull him out of bed. "Go on, get up."
"And if I say no?"
"I'm leaving without you!" She announced, grinning and Jess got out of bed, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her softly.
"You're crazy."
"Hurry up." She smiled at him, placing quick kisses on his lips.
"Yes, ma'am!"
The next afternoon, Jess wrapped his arms around Rory's waist from behind, kissing her shoulder as she stood in front of the coffee machine in Lorelai's house.
"What are you up to?"
"Nothing much. Why?"
"I was thinking of going by the bridge. Read or something. Want to join me?"
"Sure. Let me grab my coat." She looked at him suspiciously as she got dressed. "Is something wrong? You're acting a bit strange."
"Everything's fine."
"Promise? You're not breaking up with me or something, are you?"
"No." He laughed, running a hand through his hair. "Not breaking up."
"Good. Because lease and all that. Couldn't care less about you, you know." She snickered, kissing him. "Got my book, we're good to go."
As they walked to the bridge, her hand holding his tightly, she leaned over and kissed his cheek.
"You sure you're ok? You're even quieter than usual."
"Yeah. Nervous." He admitted, looking into her eyes.
"What? Why?"
"Ror, what did I promise you're getting for Christmas?"
"Oh, my God, really? You mean I'm actually getting your book soon?"
"Yeah." He nodded, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her closer to him. "You're getting my book soon."
"And you're nervous about me reading it?"
"Yes."
"Jess, you know it's going to be ok. I'll love it."
"See, this is what I don't want. You have to be mean to it."
"You want me to edit it?"
"Kind of. I know it's a big favor to ask, but…I don't know, I'd like to know your thoughts on it."
"Of course I'll do it." She smiled, kissing his cheek. "This is why you've been nervous?"
"Uh, yeah." He hesitated slightly but she didn't seem to notice. Reaching the bridge, they both sat down, their legs on the bridge, away from the cold water.
"When do I get it?"
"When do you get what?" He looked at her, smirking.
"Your book, jerk!" She laughed, kissing him. "I know it's supposed to be a Christmas present, but…I don't know, can I get it sooner than Christmas?"
"It's two days away."
"I know. But, Jess!" She snickered, looking at him.
"Don't worry, I wasn't going to make you wait for it. I don't want everyone to be there."
"I won't show it to anyone unless you tell me it's ok."
"It's fine, just…it's a bit more than a book."
"What?" Rory looked at him and Jess took a deep breath. Opening his pocket, he pulled out a book, handing it to her. "It's not wrapped but…here it is."
"Jess, this isn't a manuscript." Rory looked down at the book in her hands.
"No." He shook his head. "I asked a friend at a printing press for a favor. I wanted you to read it in book form, not a pile of papers."
"Pile of papers would have been fine. I feel bad making notes in the only copy of your book."
"Only copy so far, hopefully." He smiled. "Don't worry about making notes in it. I wanted it to look more like a book when I gave it to you. Stack of papers doesn't really scream Christmas present to me."
Jumping from her place and wrapping her arms around his neck, Rory grinned, kissing him full force on the mouth.
"Thank you."
"Merry Christmas." He smirked, kissing her again. "I love you, Ror."
"Love you too." She smiled back at him. "You're going to stop being weird now?"
"Maybe." Jess chuckled, his hand playing in her hair.
"Good enough, I suppose." She kissed him one more time, picking up the book and looking at its cover. "It doesn't have a title."
"Not yet, no. Couldn't think of a good one."
"What about This Will Rock the Literary World?"
"You have a lot of faith in me." He smirked, pulling her in for another kiss. "You should read it before you make such statements."
"I know how amazing your brain is. You are…" She paused for a second, tilting her head to the side. "You're incredible. You're doing such great things with your life and I'm just so happy and thankful that I get to be here and try to do whatever I can to support you through this."
"You do far more than try and you know that." Jess pulled her into his arms, hugging her tighter to him. "This book wouldn't be done without you. Pretty much anything I've done wouldn't have happened without you."
"Sap." She teased, lifting her head and kissing him.
"Just stating the facts here." He chuckled softly, kissing her again. "I love you."
"Yeah, I know." She laughed, placing quick kisses on his lips. "You're still being odd. Nervous about me reading this?" She lifted the book in the air and he nodded.
"Yeah." He covered quickly, trying to calm himself down.
"You're insane."
Taking a pencil out of his pocket, he handed it to her, smirking. "Here. Go to town."
"Oh, I will. I will be meaner than you ever thought I could be."
"Good. Trust me, it needs that." Pointing to the book, he kissed her softly, his hand going back to playing in her hair. Pulling back, Rory tried to open the book but he stopped her. "Not like that."
"What?" She looked up at him, surprised and he shook his head, taking a deep breath.
"I mean, you can read all of it tonight or tomorrow or whenever, preferably sometime I'm not around but right now I need you to promise me something."
"Anything, Jess."
"That you'll do whatever I ask you to do for the next few minutes without question it and, if you don't agree to what I want to say, we'll still…I don't know, be ok or something."
Putting the book down, Rory looked into his eyes, biting her lip. "You're scaring me. What happened?"
"Nothing."
"Jess, this isn't nothing." Her voice turned colder, looking at him. "Someone else?"
"No. It's nothing bad." He cupped her face in his hand, smiling softly.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah." He nodded, leaning in and kissing her again. "Promise first."
"I promise." She smiled, resting her forehead against his. "We'll always be ok."
"Good. Turn to page 56."
"What?"
"The book." He picked it up, handing it to her. "Open it to page 56."
"Why?"
"Ror…" He smirked, making her laugh.
"Sorry. Ok, page 56." She flipped through the pages quickly, finding the one she was looking for."Now what?"
"See, I had some things I wanted to tell you, but…well, I'm me and just saying them was impossible and I was going to write you a note at first, but then I was editing this and I realized that you kind of seeped into my brain when I was writing it so I just…there are some paragraphs in there that are about you, instead of fiction. I don't know, I don't think other people would be able to tell they're not strictly fiction, as it were, but of course, I may just be fooling myself, but yeah…Stuff in there is about you." He rambled quickly looking at her and she smiled.
"You're serious?"
"Yeah." Jess nodded, looking down. Leaning over to him, she kissed him softly, lifting his head with one hand.
"I love you."
"If you ever tell anyone this, it won't be pretty." He threatened jokingly, making her laugh.
"Not a soul."
"There's a pencil mark next to one of the paragraphs. That one."
"Can't I just read the entire book and see if I can pick them out?"
"Rory, you promised you wouldn't question it."
"Fine." She sighed, kissing him one more time before looking down at the book.
"The first time you are naked in front of me, I am lost. I don't know where to start, what part of your body to touch first. I am an idiot and you kiss me. The first time you scream my name, I am so fucking gone and I will have to love you forever and don't even know it yet.
You're not the first and I am not the first. But the next morning, you're sitting there, drinking your coffee, the faintest smile on your lips, not noticing me for the shortest of seconds and you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. And you are the first I want to be the last."
"Jess, this is…"
"No talking either. Not until I'm done anyway."
Nodding, she bit her lip, a couple of tears shining in her eyes softly.
"Page 79."
"I love you possessively and I must teach myself every day to let go of you, because you have other lives going on and other people that love you and I must share you with them.
But I know you like they don't know you and, dare I say it, I love you more than they love you.
I know how your body seems to dance when we have sex. I know its lines, its valleys, its peaks. I adore you for having the same dislike I do for calling it 'making love' and for still blushing when I'm too forward, despite that.
I know how you look when you sleep. How slowly your chest rises as you breathe. How almost childishly your teeth bite your lip. How your eyes flutter when you wake up. How you drag me out of bed and into the shower with you.
I know your smiles, your secrets, your nightmares, your hand playing in my hair, your legs wrapped around me. All of you is burned in me."
Nodding to let him know she was done, Rory looked at him for a second before shooting from her place and kissing him.
"Don't cry." He asked her softly, wiping her cheek.
"I'm just…I'll tell you when I'm done." She smiled back at him, kissing him again.
"Then turn to page 127."
"I love you." She whispered quickly before turning to the new page, not giving him a chance to reply as she started reading again.
"You say I have no reason to be jealous. If only you knew…I am jealous of the air you breathe, the water you drink, the clothes that cover your body. I am jealous of the people that see you when I can't, of the cup your lips touch, of the pillow your head rests on at night. I am jealous because I can't be all that and because you still need other things when the only thing I need is you."
"Jess…" She whispered his name again softly and he shook his head.
"One more. Page 153."
"Ok."
"The night after you left, my bed smelt like you, cheap substitute for that which was no longer in my reach. I had never known longing before I met you and now I understand it all too well. And I want you, God, how I want you. If your laws would let me, because yours are the only laws I still recognize, I would lock you in my room and never let you leave me again. You must understand, a day without touching you is too much. A minute is too much. Any second that is not spent with you is useless.
This is madness and I know it and you know it and I don't care."
"Can I talk now?" She looked at him, chewing on her lip and he shook his head.
"Turn to the last page first."
"Thought you said that was the last one." Rory smiled, wiping her cheek quickly.
"Changed my mind." He smirked, waiting for her to turn to the last page where only one sentence was printed, in the middle of the page.
"For you are the only heaven I've known."
As a new wave of tears started rolling down her cheeks slowly, she leaned closer, kissing him.
"You are absolutely incredible, do you know that?"
Shaking his head, Jess pulled back, kissing her forehead and hugging her to him as his hand started digging through his pocket, careful for her not to notice.
"I am incredibly sappy, that's about it. But…I didn't just give you that and show you all those just to further prove my cheesiness. I kind of have something more to say."
"What is it?" She looked at him, placing a quick kiss on his lips.
"Ror, I love you. And if I haven't told you enough times, then that book should have really made that point clear. But I am so not good with waiting, especially when I don't see a reason to wait. Maybe I missed the part of growing up that was supposed to teach me to not ask you stupid things, but I never wanted to be good at being a grownup anyway. So…marry me."
"What?" She whispered, looking at him and he slid the box towards her.
"I don't know if it's too soon or something, but, let's face it, out of the two of us, you're the one that's most likely to have a five year plan here. I want to marry you. Today, tomorrow, next month, next year, ten years from now, I don't care, I just want to marry you and to get to officially promise you that I'll try my fucking hardest to make you so impossibly happy you'll never regret it."
"Jess, you don't have to officially promise me anything."
"It's not just that, it's so much more. Both of us consciously agreeing to make it harder to leave each other. Whatever." He chuckled softly, making her laugh as well. "Just…say you'll marry me. I don't want to waste this, I love you too much for that. If you don't want to get married now, it's ok, nothing will change. We'll talk about it someday, when you're ready. Everything stays the same, I promise."
"I…Jess…" She hesitated slightly, looking at him. "Nothing would stay the same."
"Yes, it will. It doesn't matter, I promise. I was just reading the book and I figured I'd ask you, but…it would be ok."
"Really? Would everything actually stay the same if it was no?"
Shrugging, Jess looked at her, his smile fading. "Is it no?"
Looking at him, Rory shook her head slowly, biting her lip. Taking a deep breath, Jess nodded, trying to smile.
"Ok." Standing up, he shoved his hands in his pockets, pointing with his head in the direction of the town. "I need to be alone for a while, but I'll see you at the diner later, ok?"
"What?" Looking after him, Rory tilted her head to the side, confused. "No!"
"Yeah, I got that." Jess turned around, trying to smirk.
"'No' as in what the hell are you doing?"
"What?"
"Where are you going?"
"Alone time." He lifted one eyebrow, pointing towards the town. "I know I said everything is ok, and it is, but I need to be by myself for a bit now."
"Why?" Rory stood up, biting her lip.
"Because…I don't know." He chuckled softly, looking at her. "I'm confused."
"Well, you're the one who asks me to marry him and then when I say yes you just…leave? Seriously?"
"You said no." He looked at her, shaking his head.
"No, I didn't." Rory laughed, taking a step in his direction.
"You shook your head. That's no. Unless I've stepped into some bizarre world where everything is reversed."
"You asked if it's no, I shook my head!" Rory sighed, frustrated. "I was going to say yes when you decided to stand up and leave because you think I've gone crazy and changed my mind completely."
"…It's yes?" Jess asked after a few seconds of silence, a smile appearing on his lips.
"Of course it's yes, you idiot." She laughed stepping even closer to him and taking his hand in hers. "It's been yes for ages. God, it's always been yes. It's not too soon and, just for the record, I don't have a five year plan but I really do not want to wait ten years to marry you."
"It's yes." He repeated, catching his breath and she smiled, nodding enthusiastically.
"You really think any woman would say no to that proposal?" Nodding again, she placed a soft, lingering kiss on his lips, then rested her forehead against his. "I love you, Jess. So much."
"I love you too." He smiled, cupping her face in his hand and running his thumb over her cheekbone.
"Are you ever going to put that ring on my finger?" She laughed, kissing him quickly.
"I don't know, you called me an idiot and all that…Maybe I've changed my mind."
"Jess!" She giggled and he shook his head, letting go of her. Walking to where she had dropped the ring, he leaned over and picked it up while she watched, biting her lip, trying not to cry again. Stepping close to Rory again, he opened the box, taking her other hand in his, smiling as he looked at her.
"Rory Gilmore, will you marry me?"
Looking at him, she nodded again. "Yes."
"Are you sure?" He chuckled, taking the ring out of the box at the same time and sliding it on her finger while she laughed, still nodding.
"Yes." She crushed her mouth to his, lifting her hands to cup his face. Glancing at the ring quickly, she grinned. "This is beautiful."
"You're beautiful." He whispered at her, kissing her again. "You know you can't change your mind now, right?"
"I have no intention of ever changing my mind." She took a deep breath as he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her even closer to him. "You're stuck with me. Forever."
"Sounds good." He smiled, kissing her.
"My Christmas present to you will totally suck after this, I hope you realize that."
"Are you happy?"
"God, yes." Rory nodded, crushing her mouth to his.
"Then I've got everything I ever wanted." Jess whispered softly, holding her close to him.
THE END