Vanessa POV
The call of the blade.
It was a delicate dance, not to be disturbed. They knew that.
I was so far down in the blue, it would have been beautiful
anytime other than this moment.
I was in love with him.
Of that I was sure. The subtle hand brushes, the lustful glances
from across the room, the way my whole being shivered in excitement
when he gently placed his hand on the small of my back.
Thinking about that always brought me slightly out of my depression,
but only for a moment. The silver goddess was calling to me,
and I am never one to resist.
I grabbed the unfolded paperclip and twisted it around in my palm
for a moment, savoring the moment before the dance started.
I was in control.
No one could tell me to stop, or continue.
Everything
was
up
to
me.
I thought of my brothers mortified face staring down at my slit
wrist. I could almost hear his scream. Was that only a few
weeks ago?
I thought of Daddy. I always let him down, I was never going to
be good enough to be his daughter. I thought of Ma. Would she
even notice if I was gone?
I had let them all down. Was I ever going to do it again?
I was in control.
Everything was up to me.
So deep down in the blue, nothing mattered. I was in control, I
had a choice. To let everyone down again, or go back to how everything
was before him.
I grabbed the paperclip from my palm and pressed hard unto my skin
until I could feel the pain seeping through my veins, as I crossed an 'X'
into my wrist.
I couldn't remember ever feeling as free as
I
did
at
this
moment.
What would he think of me now?
AN: I hope this encourages people to write more Impulsefics.
R&R please.
-Vanessa