After I read New Moon, I thought about what Edward was thinking when he left Bella in the chapter 'The End'. I rethought it, considering what he says the night they return from Italy, and I decided that this chapter would be interesting from Edward's point of view. So here goes.

The End

Edward's POV

When I met Bella by her truck after school, I knew it was going to be hard. It was hard as I saw the look flash across her face- relief? - And then settled into a strange un-Bella-like emotion which was a mix of sadness and fear. I wanted to comfort her, to be myself with her once again, to hold her and be warm. But I told myself the same thing that I had over the past few days. Her life is more important than you.

I couldn't bring myself to stop hurting her with my coldness, but I was only trying to protect her. I was only building up to the inevitable, and I had to make her think that I didn't care. Until that morning I had been undecided, and the internal battle had been so awful that I had to choose.

I had to choose between the part of me that wanted Bella, that wanted to be with her forever- although forever was not what I wanted for Bella- that wanted to forget her birthday; and the part of me that screamed that she had to be safe and, while she was with me, that was not possible. Her birthday only strengthened this argument, and just the thought of it made me even more determined- I had to end it.

Of course, Alice had seen what was to happen. "You can't do this, Edward. It won't do either of you any good. She won't listen to you. Edward, you're going to break her heart!" She had protested continually until I silenced her.

"This is my decision, Alice. I know you love her, too, but we have to think of what's best for her." AS she had left with the others, I could tell that, if she could, she would be crying. Her face was torn between grief and anger for me.

As Bella and I walked to her truck, I still argued with myself, although I knew who was winning.

"Do you mind if I come over today?" I tried to ask casually. I half expected her to tell me she didn't, after everything that had happened, how I'd behaved. But only surprise and pleasure flitted across her face. Her heart beat slightly faster than its usual steady thump.

"Of course not."

"Now?" I pressed as I opened her door; I had to relieve myself and her of this pain.

"Sure, I was just going to drop a letter for Renée in the mailbox on the way. I'll meet you there." I glanced down at the envelope on my seat. I debated between waiting, and not waiting. Not waiting it was- I couldn't bear this any longer. I grabbed the envelope.

"I'll do it, and I'll still beat you there." My voice was quiet as I came from my thoughts. I looked up to smile at her, but she did not smile back as she answered.

"Okay," At this I shut the door without a glance back and walked towards my own car. Within seconds I was out on the road, and it was only a minute later when I returned to her house. As I waited, I looked at the now familiar little house, which had become like a second home to me, and couldn't help sighing.

When she finally drove up, I met her at her truck and placed her book bag on the seat behind her as she got out. I hesitated for a brief second, unsure of how to begin. I realized that she would probably cry when I told her goodbye, and might even shout at me, so I turned towards the woods.

"Come for a walk with me," I said, suppressing the emotion in my voice so that it was monotonous, and took her hand. Without waiting for her to refuse, I began to pull her along into the trees. When I glanced at her face, so brief she would not have seen, it was frightening. Not because she was angry, but because there was so much vulnerability and dread in her beautiful eyes.

As I decided how to begin, I leaned against a tree, looking at her face. I knew that I would probably never see her again, and I could not help memorizing every line, every fleck of colour in her eyes. For a moment we were both silent, until she spoke.

"Okay, let's talk." I took a deep breath as I realized that I would have to finally do it.

"Bella, we're leaving." That was as simple as I could make it. I heard her take a deep breath, too, and her heart rate began to pick up.

"Why now? Another year-" I cut her off.

"Bella, it's time. How much longer could we stay in Forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon regardless."

I watched as she pondered this, an expression of pure confusion on her face. She looked at me, obviously trying to understand. I resisted the urge to tell her that it was a mistake, that, like she was thinking, I couldn't be leaving. Instead I stared back, as coldly as I could. Hours of remaining remote helped.

I watched the sickening look on her face.

"When you say we-," she whispered, finally understanding. I decided to make it as clear as possible.

"I mean my family and myself." I didn't know what she was expecting. Did she think we would both move away, away from my family, where they couldn't hurt her anymore? I waited once more as this sunk in. She was shaking her head, as if she was trying to clear the thought from her head. I wanted desperately to know what she was thinking, for the millionth time, but restrained myself.

"Okay, I'll come with you." Her voice was slightly shakier as she eventually spoke. I immediately put this down.

"You can't Bella. Where we're going…It's not the right place for you." I made my words hard. She couldn't be around vampires any more.

"Where you are is the right place for me." I wanted to embrace her at this response- but it hurt to know that she wanted to come with me. It was wrong, although my heart screamed that I felt the same way.

"I'm no good for you, Bella." I reinforced my point.

"Don't be ridiculous," her voice edging towards hysteria, "You're the very best part of my life."

"My world is not for you," I said, knowing in the depths of my heart that this was true. Surely she could not deny it.

"What happened with Jasper-that was nothing, Edward!" She said louder, "Nothing!"

"You're right. It was exactly what was to be expected."

"You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay-" she turned my words against me.

"As long as that was best for you," I corrected. I had known all along that she would doubt me, use my promises.

"No!" I was shocked at her fury, but her voice was pleading, as though she was begging me. And she was- begging me to stay. I couldn't let her, but waited as she continued. "This is about my soul, isn't it? Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward. I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you-it's yours already!"

Her heart raced, and mine felt like it would burst with pleasure at her earnest words, if not for the fact that they were what I didn't want to hear. I looked at the ground, unable to meet her eyes as I took a deep breath, my mouth twisting slightly at her words, which still resounded in my head.

I could see that she wasn't just going to let me leave her. Alice had been right. I hated myself for what I was about to do. I took a few moments, steeling myself, and then spoke again.

"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." I said the words slowly, feeling as though they would tear me apart as I spoke them, wanting to scream their mendacity. As I watched her take this in, I wanted once again to take her in my arms. My hands clenched into fists, then relaxed as I replaced my calm mask.

"You…don't … want me?" Bella asked, and the way she said it was so excruciating. Of course I wanted her! She was the only thing in the world I could ever want, but that was why I was leaving her- I could be selfish no longer.

"No," I replied, and she stared into my eyes. I gazed back at the incomprehension in hers, trying to hide the truth, which I was sure she would see. She had always been so perceptive. But this time she couldn't.

"Well, that changes things." Her voice was calm. I expected anger, misery, hatred, pleading, refusal to believe my words. Anything, but not the tranquillity with which she presented her defeat. Her heart thumped slowly, almost painfully to my ears; I wondered suddenly, guiltily, if hearts could break, for hers seemed as though it would. I could not look into her eyes any more without breaking down and taking back every single word I had said. I wanted to stop hurting her; for the pain was clear in her eyes. I looked into the trees as I continued my harsh denial of everything I had ever told her. It is for the best, I told myself again and again.

"Of course, I'll always love you," more than you will ever know, I thought, "in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm…" I struggled to find the words- I knew if she thought it was me who needed the change, she would let go, "…tired of pretending to be something, I'm not, Bella. I am not human." I looked back at her at this, to see how she was receiving it. At every word she seemed to become more aware of the fact that I was actually leaving. Not that I could believe it myself.

"I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that." And for every word I'm saying, and for hurting you- and for everything that has happened to you because of me. I added this last apology to reassure myself that what I was doing was right. And it was; if not for me, for Bella.

"Don't. Don't do this." Her whispers were a plea and pierced my heart; her beautiful face, full of pain, also seemed to beg me to stop. I did want to stop, but I had to get her to move on, to think that I didn't love her, even though the thought of her moving on made my heart twist in agony. Years of practice lying and deceiving helped me keep my cold mask in place as I continued.

"You're not good for me, Bella." I turned my previous words around, watching as she started to speak, opening her mouth and closing it.

"If…that's what you want." I could hardly believe her complete and utter acceptance of my denial, of my poisonous words. I couldn't trust my mouth to agree to this fallacious statement, so I nodded tightly. A thought suddenly crossed my mind.

"I would like to ask one favour, though, if that's not too much," I saw the helplessness on her face at that moment, and couldn't prevent the pain from pass across my face. She noticed, but I quickly replaced my mask.

"Anything," she said sincerely, her voice stronger than before.

I remembered how she had told me that I dazzled her, how I had convinced her that running was safe, and realized that I could use it to enforce my demand. I had to make sure she wouldn't follow me, or get into trouble without me there to help. A shudder ran down my neck at this unimaginable thought, and I let my mask slip away as I stared down into her warm, brown eyes.

"Don't do anything reckless or stupid. Do you understand what I'm saying?" I waited until she nodded. I then realized how she could interpret this- that I did care about her. Although it was the truth, once again I had to suppress it.

"I'm thinking of Charlie, of course. He needs you." More than I do, I reminded myself, "Take care of yourself-" I had to stop myself from saying, 'for me', "-for him."

She nodded again, "I will," she said, her voice still only a whisper. I relaxed- at least she would be safe.

"And I'll make you a promise in return. I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again," like your birthday, I thought, like what happened with James, " You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed." As I finished, I noticed that her knees were shaking, and her heart beat too fast. I immediately tried to calm her, smiling and allowing a little warmth into it.

"Don't worry," For her heart was still thudding away, "You're human- your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind."

"And your memories?" She quickly asked, her voice hoarse, like her throat was clogged.

"Well"-I hesitated, not wanting to admit that I would remember her vividly for the rest of my cursed existence- "I won't forget. But my kind" I emphasized the' my', "we're very easily distracted." I smiled, though I was thinking of how I would surely not be able to forget Bella; her exquisite smell, her smile, her beautiful warm eyes, her soft hair, the warmth of her skin… I forced myself to stop, stepping away from her, for I had stepped closer with the intensity of my demand.

"That's everything, I suppose. We won't bother you again." I was surprised at how business-like I sounded- this was love I was talking about!

"Alice isn't coming back," this realization was so quiet that I barely heard it- even with my vampire hearing. I didn't want to hurt her. I remembered how Alice had pleaded with me to let her say goodbye- to see Bella one last time before we left. Alice wanted it, so would Bella have, had she had the choice. I shook my head, watching her face.

"No. They're all gone. I stayed behind to tell you goodbye."

"Alice is gone?" It seemed she could only understand what I repeated. That was what I had driven her to. Her voice was coloured with surprise and disbelief and I felt angry inside that she only chose to doubt this.

"She wanted to say goodbye, but I convinced her that a clean break would be better for you."

I waited as her breathing slowly returned from ragged intakes of breath to its normal rate. Her eyes were unfocused as she looked down.

"Goodbye, Bella," My voice was quiet as I spoke the last heart-wrenching words.

"Wait!" Her voice was almost impossible to resist as she called out to me. She reached out her arms, her heart racing. I took her wrists, gentled pressing her arms to her sides. Still holding onto her- because I never wanted to let go- I bent to press my lips to her warm forehead. Her eyelids fluttered closed and in that split second I forgot everything. I forgot that I wasn't supposed to love her, that I was leaving. I only could think of the smell of her blood, bringing on the familiar hunger, her hair, her warmth and the thump of her heart. I wanted to stay, I wanted to stay forever, or at least spend her life with her. But I had to stop.

"Take care of yourself," I whispered, pulling myself away before I admitted the untruth of my words. I ran as fast as I could. As I sped through the forest, away from the love of my existence, I wasn't running for my life; I was running for hers.

A/N Please review!