Disclaimer-I don't own Predator; that belongs to Twentieth Century Fox, I don't own Chuck Norris, either, he cannot be owned….ever.

Chuck Norris vs. Predator

You knew this was coming!

Chuck Norris was sitting at home one night, contemplating who he was going to roundhouse kick in the face the next day. Suddenly he heard a noise coming from the vicinity of his front yard. Sighing, he got up to investigate the source of the sound. As Norris got to the door, it was suddenly thrown across the room to land at his feet.

Standing in the remains of his doorway was an eight-foot creature wielding what looked like a spear of some kind, along with armor and a mask. The thing had waist-length dreadlocks and wicked-looking blades on its wrists. Arching its back, the creature roared a challenge. Chuck roared back and prepared to give the biggest roundhouse kick of his life to this odd-looking intruder, and rushed forward.

As the two met, the house shook to its very foundation. The Predator fought with every weapon in its arsenal, Chuck used only his fists. After awhile, Chuck quickly looked around the house and realized that the two would need a bigger place to fight. Running outside, he jumped onto his motorcycle and raced off into the night. After about an hour, he stopped in the middle of an open field and looked around. The Predator was just leaping down from a tree behind him, eager to continue the fight.

The Predator reached up and took off its mask, revealing its face. Chuck's eyebrows went up for perhaps the first time in his life. Crouching down, he gave a bring-it-on motion and waited. Roaring, the Predator ran toward him again. This time, the impact caused a large crater in the field, and knocked over a few nearby trees. After an hour, the Predator was bleeding badly, so Chuck decided to be merciful and end it quickly, with an ever so slight nod of respect, Norris moved forward, preparing to do what had to be done.

The Predator reached up quickly and activated its wrist bomb, unbeknownst to Chuck. As he walked up to the dying alien, he could hear a beeping sound that was getting faster. Looking down at his opponent, he suddenly realized what was about to happen. Norris didn't have time to run away, and so was hit with the full force of the blast. A blinding light could be seen for miles, nothing could stop it; except for a patented Chuck Norris roundhouse kick! As the two awesome forces met, a sound the likes of which had never and would never be heard again echoed throughout the countryside. Absolutely everything within a ten mile radius was destroyed.

Except for you-know-who. He looked down at himself; his clothes had been completely evaporated by the blast, leaving him standing in all his Chuck Norris-ness in the field. Shaking his head, he began walking back home…

THE END?