9 Months Saga: IT'S LABOR TIME!!!
"YOU CAN'T HAVE THE BABY NOW!!! ITS ONLY 8 and a 1/2 weeks. THERE WAS A REASON THEY CALL THIS THE NINE MONTHS SAGA!!!" replied Vegeta as Bulma continued to moan.
"VEGETA!! WE GOT TO GET TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL!!! NOW!!!" she shouted as she kicked her legs.
"Fine, fine.... god. What ever happened to getting a pail of water and sticking your hand to grab the little bugger," he muttered as he grabbed Bulma and flung her over his shoulder. He aimed his hand towards the ceiling and blasted it away. The bottom of Vegeta's feet began to fill with ki when......
"MY KITCHEN!!!" screamed Chi Chi as she cringed from the falling plaster and pieces of burnt timber. Vegeta grinned as he politely turned instead and walked out the door to fly to the hospital.
"COME ON, CHI CHI!! Let's call the others so they can be there," replied Goku as he got on the phone.
At Master Roshi's.........
Krillan sat contentedly on the sand as he slowly meditated. The peaceful wind brushed against his face as he endured the pure serenity.
*Bringggg*
"Eh, hey my cell phone. YO!! Krillan here. What's up?" he said as he pulled it out of his uniform and flipped it open.
* Hey Krillan, guess what. BULMA'S GONNA HAVE A BABY!!!*
"Really? Right now!! COOL!! I'll be there as soon as possible!!!" he said as he closed it. "Gee, I better go and tell Master Roshi and Turtle," he said as he ran inside the house. "Master Roshi? MASTER ROSHI!!!"
"WILL YOU PIPE DOWN IN THERE!! I'M ON THE CAN!!ooooohhhh, Mrs.July...YUM!!!"
Krillan's face soured. "BUT MASTER ROSHI!! BULMA'S GONNA HAVE A...."
"QUIET!!! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M..... UHH.... STUDYING!!!!"
"BUT MASTER ROSHI!!!!!!"
"NOT NOW BOY!!"
In Tibet........
*Bringggggg* *Bringggggggg* *Bringggggggg*
*Hi This Tien*
*AND CHOWZU!!!!*
We are not here right now*
*Just leave a message, at the sound of the beep*
*Beep*
*HEY GUYS!! This is Goku. Guess what? VEGETA'S GONNA BE A DADDY!!! Meet us at "Last Chance" Hospital. Whoa, this thing is recording my voice....
COOL!!! Hey wanna hear my impression of Darth Vader? ~Luke... I-AM-YOUR-FATHER!!!!~
PRETTY COOL, huh? OH OH!! YOU'VE GOT TO HEAR THIS SONG!!! ITS BY BRITNEY SPEARS!!!
~Opps I, Did it again.~
~I played with your heart~
~Got lost in this game~
5 hours later........
*And then Mistique leaped forwards towards Wolverine and.....*
"Hello? Goku? Is that you?" asked Tien as he picked up the phone.
*Hey Tien, aww I was gonna get to the good part.*
"Its okay Goku, so what did you want to tell me?"
*Bulma's gonna have her baby.*
"Really? I thought she wasn't due for another two weeks."
*That's what I thought, but she's having it.*
"K, I'll see ya there," replied Tien as he placed the phone down.
"HEY TIEN!! Someone left a message for us. Lets go listen to it before we go. It probably won't take that long........" said Chowzu as he pressed the button.
In the Artic......
"Eh, my beeper's going off," muttered Piccolo as he looked down. "Hmmm, its Goku. Gah, I hope he ain't calling to ask which way to twist open the bottle of Pepsi again. Hmmm, Bulma's having Trunks already!?! Weird. This fic says 9 months but she's about to have it in 8.5. Oh well, off to Hallmark to fetch a card," he muttered as he flew off.
In the sky......
"Oh Veggie-Chan..... isn't the sky just beautiful. The sky looks as if its painted with all sorts of colours..... molding into some dream that....."
"BULMA!!! Didn't you read your script!!! You are SUPPOSE to be in labor. GAH, now I lost where I'M at!!!" replied Vegeta .
"Oh sorry about that....wait... YOU CALLED ME BULMA!!!*gasp* YOU REALLY DO LOVE ME!!"
" ..........." he growled.
The hospital was in view. All he needed to do was take her to the ward and the doctors will take care of the rest. His hands sweated as he carried his mate across Western City. He could sense its ki inside, yearning to be freed..... that and her nickels and dimes falling from her pocket as he descended down towards the hospital.
"YOU BAKA!! THAT WAS AN UNCIRCULATED New Delaware quarter!!!" she shouted as she slapped him. Vegeta growled to himself as he landed over at the hospital and kicked the door open. Bulma cringed and moaned as she laid in his arms. "...are you all right?" he whispered.
Down at the hospital.....
"WHERE'S THAT DOCTOR!!! SHE'S GONNA BLOW ANY SECOND!!" shouted Vegeta as he blew up the double doors. Patients gasped as a the midget Saiyan. "........."growled Vegeta.
OKAY.... the semi-below-the-height-of-an-average-human Saiyan carried his wife over his shoulder. He then ran over towards the receptionist as he placed Bulma in a wheel chair. A teenage intern walked over and grabbed Vegeta by the arm.
"Excuse me, are you the maternal father of the child?" she asked as she blew a bubble.
"Yeah," he replied.
"You need to like, fill out these forms in like triplicate. That way you can see your baby. K? You can be there. And like the doctor.... he is sooo fine. Gee, I hope this one survives. Oh well, 2 out of six ain't bad."
"Are those who that died?"
"Oh no, those are like what survived. But you should see his car. It is like totally phat. Its like a cute little convertible with primo stereos and....."
Vegeta immediately ran towards the ward and grabbed Bulma.
"WE'RE GOING TO ANOTHER HOSPITAL!!!" he said.
"Mister Vegeta, THIS WOMAN IS ABOUT TO HAVE A CHILD!!! You cannot wait anymore."
Vegeta rolled his eyes as he let Bulma. He sighed as he walked over towards a seat and sat down.
"You just stay there. We'll tell you when its time, maybe later you can help deliver the child, K?" said the intern as she handed him the forms. Vegeta shook his head as he proceeded to the task.
"Hmmm, lets see here....... name of mother..... Bulma. Now....... Male or Female..... WHAT!?! Of course she's gonna be FEMALE!!! Did they actually think that I was...... oh okay never mind..... Age..... hmmmm, she always told me she was 25..... she looks two hundred and six..... but then again she's human.... eh, I'll just put ninety-eight."
A man with lavender hair walked over and sat next to him.
"I think she's turned thirty-one last July if I'm right," he said as he picked up a newspaper and crossed his leg.
"Huh.... oh yeah, that's right...... HEY!! How did you know that?" asked Vegeta as the man held the paper infront of his face.
"You paid me twenty bucks to pick up an edible cake, remember?" he replied as he turned the page.
"Oh yeah, now I remember. So why are you here?" he asked.
"Eh? Oh, I came here to have one of my kidneys taken out," he replied behind the newspaper.
"Lovely," he spoke as he continued on filling out the forms. Suddenly....
"HEY VEGETA!! WE'RE HERE!!!" shouted Goku as the other Z-Fighters entered the room. "Guess what? MY JIGGLYPUFF EVOLVED TO LEVEL 23!!!"
"......WILL YOU SHUT UP!! FORGET ABOUT YOUR GOD DAMN JIGGLYPUFF FOR ONE MOMENT!!! THAT WOMAN'S HAVING MY CHILD IN THERE!!!"
Goku looked shocked.
"Really? You mean, at THIS moment, and not just waiting?"
"*sigh*Yes Kakorot.... right....NOW!"
"My gosh......"
"Mister Vegeta, its like almost time. Please come in here to change."
"....Hey Vegeta? Can I come too? Please!!!!!!" begged Goku.
"........."
"I'll show you my level 23 Jigglypuff!!!"
".........."
"Ummmm, I...won't show you my level 23 Jigglypuff?"
"WELL, WHY ARE YOU JUST STANDING THERE!!! HURRY UP AND GET DRESSED!!!" he shouted as the two Saiyans ran towards the dressing room.
"GAH!!!*breath breath breath* WHERE IS HE!?!" shouted Bulma as sweat poured over her face.
"He's coming, Mrs.Briefs. Now push!!"
"I CAN'T!!! IT FEELS LIKE THIS BABY'S TRYING TO SHOOT ITSELF OUT!!!" she cried. Vegeta and Goku ran inside the room. Vegeta, to Bulma's surprise, grabbed her hand.
"Bulma, PUSH!!" cried the doctor.
"Wait a second. Let me get the camera out."
GOKU VISION!!!!!!!
Now hold that pose you two.... focus......focus......
"KAKOROT , WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?! THIS IS NOT THE TIME OR PLACE FOR THE GOKU-CAMERA!!!"
"Hi Mom, Hi Daddy. I'M HAVING A BABY!!!"
Bulma, could you lift up your gown so I can get a head shot.
"KAKOROT!!!!!"
Yo, Doc. Can you tell the viewers what you are doing?
"Why of course. You see Mrs.Briefs is about to give birth to her first child. The child will be entering through this passageway and....."
"KAKOROT!!! THIS IS NOT THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL!!! GET THE CAMERA OUT OF HERE!!!"
*crack*
"MY GOD WOMAN!!! I'VE HAD METEORS THAT HURT BROKE LESSER BONES THEN......" mumbled Vegeta as he clutched his hand.
"Com'n Vegeta. Lets get you a senzu bean," said Goku as the two walked out.
Vegeta and Goku walked down the passageways....
"Look Mommy, its that pregnant man again..... and he's all thin again!!!" cried the little girl. The woman looked towards the two Saiyans.
"Ummmm, congratulations, are you the father?" she asked as she shook Goku's hand.
"Uh........."
"DAMN IT GOKU!! QUIT GAWKING AROUND!!! MY HAND HURTS AS HELL AND I NEED A SENZU BEAN, NOW!!!" cried Vegeta as pulled Goku by the collar.
"*sigh*Is there anyone normal left on this planet?" she murmured. She walked into the waiting room and saw Piccolo, Tien and Chowzu. "....never mind..." she muttered as she dragged her daughter out of the hospital.
Bulma cried out somemore as she continued to push and push. Suddenly, a sharp crying aroused the room. The doctor slowly wrapped the child in warm soft towels.
"Congratulations, its a healthy,Saiyan, boy," he replied. Bulma relaxed as she closed her eyes for a second. She held her arms awaiting for her own child to enter her arms. The doctor and nurse smirked at each other.
"Can I see my child?" she asked.
".....why?" asked the doctor as the child began to cry. Her eyes widened.
"Wait a second..... how did you know it was Saiyan?"
"Good Question," he smirked as his face morphed. His pale skin and long tail slithered as Bulma began scream. The nurse walked over towards Bulma and jabbed a needle in her.
Bulma's eyes dilated as she slowly closed her eyes and laid there. Freeza's third cousin Twice Removed walked over towards the door.
"You didn't kill her, did you?" he asked. "Just knocked her out. And yes, she hasn't seen it yet." "Good. Make sure you replace the baby with another. Heh heh, god I love being a shape shifter," he murmured as he morphed back into a doctor and exited the room with the child.
Later......
Vegeta and Goku entered the room. His hand was all bandaged up as he gasped. Everyone crowded infront of the window as an awkward looking nurse rolled the child in the maternity room.
"THIS AIN'T MY CHILD!!!!" he bellowed. Goku walked over towards the glass.
"Well, I dunno. It sure does look alot like you. I mean, its a boy, the hair is like a cream puff form like yours.....
"Oh yes.... it would look like me..... IF I WAS FROM AFRICA!!!!" he said as pointed out to the Negro child.
"Whoa..... you mean someone kidnapped your son!?!" asked Gohan.
"That's the only possiblity,son....sorry," replied Goku. Vegeta turned away. This was what he hoped for. The child is gone. But why did he feel so sorry. He was free from Bulma. No child. No need to keep up the commitment. But something burned in him. This was HIS flesh and blood. This was HIS creation. THERE WAS NO WAY HE'S GONNA DROP OUT OF THIS NOW AND LET WHOEVER TAKE WHAT RIGHTFULLY BELONGED TO HIM!!!
Vegeta grabbed Goku by the collar.
"Vegeta....."
"....WE'RE GOING SAIYAN HUNTING, KAKOROT....AND THE HEAD OF WHOEVER TOOK VEGETA!!!"
"We are NOT going to name him Vegeta!!" screamed a now awaken and very pissed off Bulma from the other room as the two shot out through the roof along with Gohan, Krillan and Piccolo.
Back in some scary Warehouse.......
*WHAAAAAAA* screamed the infant as Freeza's third cousin twice removed held it.
"Come-on, Gitchy Gitchy Go*.....OWWW!!!," he screamed as the baby bite his finger with its gummy mouth. "Okay, okay.... ummmm.... how about this?" he asked as he morphed into Pan-Chan from Dragonball GT. The baby took one look at it.
*WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA* it cried as struggled in Freeza TCTR's arms. "YOU DUMB ASS!!!! GET THE CHILD TO THE MACHINE IMMEDIATELY!!! I WANT OUT OF HERE.... NOW!!!!!" shouted Freeza.
"Okay okay, fine," he replied as he placed the baby in the area and began to gook up wires. The baby giggled as it laid there.
"Stupid tail. It keeps on getting in the way," he spoke to himself as he tries to push the hairy little tail aside. Freeza's third cousin twice removed placed a sacred gem that was kept in the family for generations in a little slot. Soon the baby began to glow and age.
"Its... its working.... yes... I can feel my soul being pulled from this place of damnation," spoke Freeza as he began to glow below.
"Bye Freeza. Don't forget to write!!" waved some of the members of the Ginyu force.
"Heh heh, soon cousin Freezy will be here," replied Freeza's TCTR as the machine continued to glow. All of a sudden, the warehouse lights flickered out and the air conditioner burnt out. Sweat began to pour from his temples."Man, this is tough work. I need some air," he spoke to himself as he opened a window. The moon's glow gently shown as Freeza's Third cousin Twice Removed accomplished the tedious task.
Up in the sky......
"Hey Dad, how long do you think it will take for us to find Vegeta's son?" asked Gohan.
"Well son, you got to understand that we got alot of ground to cover. And with the child's ki at a very low level right now, it could be days, months.... even ye**...."
*GROWL!!!!!!*
".....or at least until it morphed into a giant Oozaru," he replied as the giant ape grabbed him from behind.
"DAD!!!!!" cried Gohan.
"HA!! Already I can see him taking after my side," shouted Vegeta as the giant ape began to squeeze the life out of Goku.
"HEY!! GOKU, WHO'S THAT!?!" asked Piccolo. Goku turned his head down below.
"Eh, I don't know. He looks alot like Freeza.... but he's kind've small....*GAH*" he screamed as the giant ape continued to squeeze him. Piccolo growled as he turned towards him and shot two eye beams at the giant ape's tail.
"Oh man, is it running off?" asked Krillan.
"Come on, we have to cut off his tail before he causes too much damage!!" cried Piccolo as the group chased after the Saiyan beast.
In the hospital........
"7... 6... 5.... 4... 3.... 2.... 1...." muttered Trunks as he laid on the bed.
"Mr.Trunks, could you count backwards from a hundred again?"
"But Doctor, that was my eight time."
"*sigh* Nurse Winfrey, Give him another tank of sleeping gas," replied the doctor as the placed the mouth piece over his mouth again. "Come-on, lets go order another pizza."
Trunks walked over towards the window. Why did he feel a large amount of ki over there? He had to find out.
Back at the warehouse.......
"*cough* Oh man, what happened?" asked Freeza's third Cousin Twice Removed as he slid out of the wreckage.
"YOU IDIOT!!!!! DON'T YOU KNOW WHEN A SAIYAN IS EXPOSED TO THE MOON THEY TURN INTO A GIANT MONKEY!?!!!!"
"Uhhhhhhhhhh, no?"
"GAH!!! No wonder mother never invited you to the family reunions..... no matter.... WHERE AM I!!! THIS IS NOT THE REAL WORLD!!!"
"Well, I guess the transfer wasn't complete.... and only half of your soul is in the child.
"HALF!?! DAMN IT WHY CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT!?! GO OUT THERE AND CATCH THAT FILTHY APE AND BRING HIM STRAIGHT HERE TO FINISH THE PROCESS!!!" screamed Freeza as one of the Ginyu Force walked up to him.
"Sorry to hear that man. Here, have a puzzle block, Satan gave it to me and I thought you should have it," said Guido as he handed him the small multicolored box.
"What the hell is this thing?"
"A puzzle cube. All you have to do is put all the colors on one side." Freeza grabbed the tiny enigma and sat down. He then proceeded to turn and twist each side as the other.
Back up above.....in some television station.......
"People.... we are in trouble. We haven't had a decent news story in days now. Unless we can find something that will pull this station from the brink of closing down..... not only will tens of hundreds of good hearted americans will lose their jobs..... but Western City will lose a valuable resource to learn what is happening with the friends, countrymen, and fellow communities," spoke the boss as he bowed his head and held his hands back.
"Sir, there's another giant ape attacking," spoke a copy boy.
"Oh, no one cares about the giant ape terrorizing the city. That stuff is far too old and......"
"SIR!!! YOU'VE GOT TO HEAR THIS!! CARSON DALY IS GOING OUT WITH SOME CHICK NAMED CECIL!!!"
"WELL WHAT ARE YOU ALL STANDING AROUND!! YOU ALL BETTER BE THE FIRST ONES THERE OR ITS YOUR JOB!!!" screamed the news editor as the giant ape walked by. The Z-Fighters floated towards the Oozaru.... Goku, could only think of one thing as the giant ape held him in his clutches.
"Man I'm starving. HEY!!! HEY!!!!" screamed Goku.
"What is it, Goku?" asked Krillan.
"Could you all go and buy me a few dozen cheeseburgers and a large fry?" he asked as he took out his Gameboy and continued where he was.
"Gee, I think we should be saving the city right now... oh well, they can wait. I'm sure they are use to giant apes walking around here by now. COME-ON GUYS!! OFF TO McDonalds!!!" cried Gohan as the group descended to the Golden Arches below. His hand reached for the door.
"GOHAN!!!!"
"*gulp* ....yes... Pi-pi-piccolo?"
"Your father is up there in the clutches of Vegeta's son. Do realize how precious time is right now!?!" Gohan sweated a bit then smiled.
"I'm sorry, guys, I wasn't thinking. WE NEED TO GO TO DRIVE THROUGH!!!"
"You are learning Gohan-san. I will buy you a happy meal for your diligent thinking."
Inside in McDonalds.....
"Oh my GOD!!! They are--they are coming!!!" cried an employee.
"QUICK!!! PUT OUT THE CLOSED SIGNS!!!"
"Sir, we are 24 hour truck stop, sir."
"Damn, those politicians. Forcing us to slave day and night so we can make them rich.... JENNIFER!!! ARE YOU??"
"Yes sir, I have already laid out ninety-eight patties with a large fry cooking. We WILL MAKE THE 3 MINUTE TIME LIMIT!!!"
*bing bing*
"Thank you for McDonalds, would you like to try a combo today?" asked Megan in a sweet heavenly voice.
*No thanks.I just want 98 cheeseburgers, no ketchup add mayonnaise and one large fry.*
"I have 98 cheeseburgers, no ketchup add mayo, and a large Sprite?"
*FRIES!!! I SAID FRIES YOU ZIT FACED BAKA!!! I AM THE GREAT PRINCE OF SAIYANS!!! HOW DARE YOU GET MY ORDER WRONG!!!!*
"Okay 98 cheeseburgers, no ketchup add mayo, and a large FRY!!!"
*Oh, and could you add a four piece chicken nugget happy meal?*
"*cough cough sputter sputter*NO!!! How DARE THEY CHANGE THE ORDER!!!! How much time is left!!!"
"40 seconds sir."
"DAMN IT!!! HURRY UP WITH THOSE NUGGETS!! QUICKLY!!"
"Sir your total comes to 105.23, please proceed to the window," spoke the manager as he grabbed the microphone from the employee.
*...................*
*click*
"They're coming!! We only have fifteen seconds!!!" replied Megan as the workers handed her the food and she handed it to the manager.
"I'VE GOT THE HAPPY MEAL!!!" screamed another employee as he tossed it to the manager. He breath a sigh of relief as he hands it to him with two seconds to spare.
Gohan then looked inside.
"Hey, where's the toy at?"
"Uh oh. Looks like someone was late delivering our dinner. Hmmm, guess we get it for free.... again," grinned Vegeta as he snatched the money. The managers eyes turned a fiery red. The Z-Fighters ran for their lives as they were bombarded with ki blasts and a kamehameha.
"OH MAN!! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GO OFF AND PISS OFF THE FAT GUY!!!" muttered Krillan.
"PISS OFF!?! THAT WAS THE MAIN REASON HE WAS HIRED IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!" replied Vegeta as they all flew back up the ape and to their surprise....
*jiggggllly pufffff jigggllllllliiiiiiyyy pufffff* sung the little Gameboy as Vegeta's son held Goku while sitting down on some house with its feet wading in the city pool.
"Well, well, looks like that thing actually has a use after all!" spoke Vegeta as he turned towards the tail.
"Well, time to change you back to normal," said Krillan as he rose a hand and began to form a disk. Then, it hit him. A large ki blast appeared out of no where and slammed straight into him. The others turned to see a lizard like figure. Vegeta's mouth hung open.
"It.... it can't be...." he murmured. The figured stepped out. His hand still was eclipsed with smoke from the blast.
"....hello, you must be.... Vegeta..... Prince of the monkeys I presume?"
"WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?!" bellowed Piccolo as the others began to readied there energies.
"I am Freeza's third cousin twice removed and that dirty ape up there, will soon be used as the host for Freeza's new body. The day that man made sushi of Cousin Freezy, the day that man sitting up wasting away precious hours on that silly toy was the day we knew that Freeza needed a stronger body..... a Saiyan. Vegeta would be too hard to control with his intelligent and strong mind. Gohan cannot be controlled because he is too strong willed. Goku....."
"let me guess, because he's a Super Saiyan?"
"...no, I had trouble finding enough activity in his brain to control with. But a little baby boy? That.... we can mold it like a piece of clay and call it our own. No memories to create fear. No love to dilute the senses, no guilt... the perfect assassin and future ruler of all the universe," he smirked.
"Do you know what..... DID YOU JUST REALIZE THAT YOU JUST GAVE OUT YOUR WHOLE PLAN!?! No wonder the author didn't give you a name!!" Freeza's TCTR widen his eyes.
"Well..... guess what, you'll-- have to go through me!!!" he said trying to sound gung ho. "But there is one thing I forgot to mention. If my powers can't beat you....." his face began metamorph, twisting into something more familiar.
"Then I guess I'll have to change into someone who will.," smirked Freeza's TCTR/Goku as his hair turned a bright blond and his eyes glowed an emerald green.
narrator: And now a commercial break from one of our sponsors....
On a playground.......two girls with tank tops and short shorts sat on the cool green grass.
Maron: Gee, I'm so tired of this Irwin action figures.
Lunch: I know. All they are a hunk of cheap plastic.
Maron: Don't they realize 'OUR' needs. You cannot dress them up, or nothing. Don't worry girls. That is all about to change with the new Bulma and Vegeta Barbie Dolls!!!
Later.....
Lunch: Oooooo, I LOVE combing Vegeta's hair.
Maron: And with a dab of water, I can add eye shadow to Bulma.
Lunch: And with water, 'I' can change Vegeta into a Super Saiyan.
Maron: Look at all these accessories!!!
Lunch: A dragon radar, dragonballs.... EVEN A GOKU PUNCHING BAG!!!!
Lunch and Maron: THANKS ANNOUNCER!!!
Announcer: Coming soon the pink shirt Vegeta and Second Base Bulma twin pack and the Gravity Room Playset!! When you press the button, it REALLY explodes!!!
(made by Mattel, each set sold separately)
and now back to the 9 Months Saga
Freeza's TCTR/Goku stood there. He smirked as the familiar gold aurora surrounded him. There was only one thing on Goku's mind right now as he stood there inside Vegeta's son's hand.
"OWWW, OKAY OKAY I'LL FEED YOU ANOTHER CHEESEBURGER!!" he yelped as he dug into the bag, tore off the wrapper and chucked it inside its mouth. He had to keep it busy, long enough for them to defeat Freeza's TCTR. From the way he's sitting, he couldn't really cut off his tail. All he can do is wait and watch the others take him out.
Meanwhile.... down below......
"You think we can take him?" asked Krillan.
"I don't care if he has the power of Goku. With someone who's only called 'Freeza's third Cousin Twice Removed'? We're gonna pound the living tar out of him!!" growled Piccolo as he charged forward towards him. Freeza's TCTR/Goku smirked as he merely twisted and turn with each punch, dodging them with the ease. Freeza's TCTR/Goku ducked a punch and then connected it with an uppercut into Piccolo's jaw. Blood dripped a bit from his mouth as Gohan ran up towards him and started a blur of kicks. Freeza's TCTR/Goku responded by taking the back of his forearms and blocked his face.
All of a sudden Krillan jumped in and started fighting from the other side. Freeza's TCTR/Goku snarled as he let loose a burst of energy that slammed Krillan into a wall and Gohan towards the ground. Goku gasped as his eyes narrowed. He clenched his fists from the sight as he watched Freeza's TCTR/Goku pick up Gohan and slam repeatedly against the wall.
"What's the matter? Can Freeza's little cousin can't take on anyone but a pathetic little boy? Why don't you fight a REAL Saiyan," spoke Vegeta as he folded his arms across his chest. Freeza's TCTR/Goku smiled as he dropped Gohan.
"Why do you say that? You yourself was killed by my cousin, who in turn was annihilated by Goku. Do you really think you can challenge me?" he asked as Krillan and Piccolo got up in a ready stanza. Vegeta glared at the two. They looked at each other and backed off of Freeza's TCTR/Goku. "So be it."
Vegeta grinned as he leaped forward and charged forward towards him. Freeza's TCTR/Goku readied his fists as Vegeta came closer and closer.... then vanishes?
*BOOM* his fists went as he reappeared behind him and slammed it against his back. Vegeta then connects it with a knee jab into the stomach flinging him in the sky. His breath stifled a bit as Vegeta flew above him and maniacally bombards him with his machine gun ki blasts. Freeza's TCTR/Goku slammed into the ground. He lazily pulled himself only to get a torpedo kick in the spine.
"Hmmph, just what I thought. Don't think I've never heard of you, I even know your real name. I also know what race you're a hybrid of. And I know that it doesn't matter who you change into, you'll still be the same power level.... in fact even lesser considering it takes up quite a bit of energy to change in the first place. See you in the next demens***" all of a sudden a woman in a nurse's out fit comes forth and sinks her high heel into his chest. Her body turned and roundhouse him in the face. Vegeta clutched his chest for a second as the woman bent down and then slammed her foot at his jaw.
"Jelly Bean!!! My LOVE!!!" cried Freeza's TCTR as the nurse grabbed Vegeta into a headlock and slammed him into the concrete below them. Vegeta looked up at the two as Freeza's TCTR/Goku placed an arm around the nurse. "Is she not beautiful? Dr. Gero made her for me, me, and only m***"
"GOKU!?!! HOW DARE YOU GO OFF WITH ANOTHER WOMAN!!!" shouted Chi Chi as she mysteriously appears out of the middle of nowhere.
"Uh oh," he muttered, totally forgetting to change back to his original image. Chi Chi ran and grabbed the android by the hair.
"THIS WILL TEACH YOU TO MESS WITH MY MAN, B****!!!" she cried as she pimped slapped her head. "I'll make sure to open a good solid can of whup a** on muter-f***** body," she cried as she tossed her in the same pool that the Oozaru's feet was in. All of a sudden, her body short circuited, frying the Oozaru's body a little. Its eyes turned a blood red as it rose up and started its carnage once more.
"Oh MAN; now I gotta get out of here so I cut the tail," Goku muttered to himself as he desperately tries to pull himself free. All of a sudden, the Oozaru started regenerating. His hair began to disappear as it grew shorter and shorter until it was once more a newborn child. Goku carefully picked him up. He then removed his blue shirt to use as a blanket to hold him in. Goku turned behind him and saw the giant tail, laying there, limp as a cold dead corpse and standing beside it, was Trunks, his sword bloodied quite a bit.
"I was wondering where you were at. Hey wait a second, why did it take you so long?"
"Eh, I had to go get me something to eat McDonalds."
Back at the other area........
Vegeta smirked as he sat up, clutching the wound that the android caused with her high heels. "LOOKS LIKE MR. I'M SO TOUGH BECAUSE I'M FREEZA'S THIRD COUSIN TWICE REMOVED ISN'T SO TOUGH ANYMORE!! Pitiful. I would've expected better to come. Guess I was wrong," he mocked as he placed his hand on his cheek and nodded his head. Freeza's TCTR/Goku growled as he ran forwards and slammed right into Vegeta. Vegeta then followed through with a jab to the jaw. The two fighters then backed off.
Freeza's TCTR/Goku formed his hand into a clam to the side.
"KAAAAAAAA-MEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAAAA-MAAAAAAA-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
he screamed. Vegeta prepared to block..... then realized nothing was coming at him. Down in hell......
"YOU DORK!!!! ITS KamehaMEha!!! EVEN I KNOW THAT AND I DON'T EVEN USE THAT ATTACK!!!!!!" shouted Freeza as he worked the puzzle cube. "GAH!! Just when I had all the red and greens, I ended up needing to place the whites.... NO WONDER THIS STUPID THING GOT PUT DOWN HERE!!!" he grumbled.
Up above....
"....oh..... Um well then....
KAAAAAAAA-MEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAAAA-MEEEEEEEEEE-"
"HA!!!"
shouted a voice as a large ball of energy slammed into Freeza's TCTR/Goku. His body rolled and rolled, morphing back into its original state. Goku stood there as smoke blew from his hands.Freeza's TCTR sneered but then widen his eyes. In Chi Chi's hands was the newborn.
"....the child..... GIVE IT TO ME!!!" he screamed as he leaped to his feet.
"I think not, why should we?" asked Goku as Vegeta slowly got up. Freeza's TCTR smirked; then he started to laugh!?!
"Heh heh, yes, I admit it. I CAN be a little naive at times, and I do make silly mistakes. But I can guarantee you, I am not as stupid as I look..... take a look over there. My oh my, what does it look like? A bomb of course. I don't have the power my Cousin Freezy has to make a Dama to blow this planet up. SO I MADE A SIMULATOR INSTEAD!!! But..... if you care about this planet..... I COULD deactivate it in exchange for the child." He then turned towards the Prince of Saiyans. "Vegeta, here is your chance. I've been watching you and your mate for the last 9 months now. You wanted out, this is the way. No guilt over no one taking care of him. He won't be lonely. He'll be treated like a Prince just like you once were."
"Fuck off, Freeza's whatever the hell you are. I am NOT selling his soul to him like I did with mine."
"Then I hope you enjoy going out..... with a big bang!!" he laughed as everyone crowded around the bomb.
"Oh god, why couldn't King Kai have trained me to do stuff like this!?!" whimpered Goku as he began to bite his nails.
"What if we threw it in the sky?" asked Krillan.
"No good, the shockwave alone would take out Western City," muttered Piccolo.
"How much time do we have?"asked Vegeta.
"uuuhhh, it says 10 minutes!!"
"NOOOOOOOO, BUT I DON'T WANT TO DIE A VIRGIN!!!!!" screamed Krillan as he tucked his head between his knees.
"I think I can deactivate it," spoke a voice.
"TRUNKS!!YOU'RE HERE!!!!" said Goku. Trunks slapped himself.
"...so much for keeping secrets....."
"Can you really solve it?"
"Yeah, my mom had me take a course in it in high school. She figured it would come in handy someday," he replied as he knelt down. "Okay, lets see here.....wow... a Mark989Semi-copper-Modulm TNT device. Did you realize this thing has the capacity of atomizing from here to Kentucky?"
"JUST HURRY UP AND DEACTIVATE THE BLASTED THING ALREADY!! WE ONLY HAVE.... 8 MINUTES!!!" screamed Vegeta as he started wring his neck. The others held him back as Trunks went back to his work. His hands hovered over and then removed the control panel. 13 different collared wires surrounded the timer. His hand pulled out one wire.... the clock stopped.
"YEAH, WAY TO GO,TRUNKS!!" smiled Gohan as Goku slapped him on the back.
"Wait, I'm not done, that only temporarily shuts the clock down so I can begin the real work," he said as he rubbed his back.
"Well why are you just sitting there?"Trunks leaned forward. He squinted his eyes. His hands shook.
"Guys, I can't see; I think Goku knocked my contact lens out and they're somewhere on the ground."
The others screamed as they frantically searched the ground........ *CRACK*
"Problem," muttered Piccolo as he looked at the back of his foot.
"WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!" cried Gohan.
"Don't worry, guys, I have a little bit of telepathy. I CAN DISARM THE BOMB!!!" cried Goku. Everyone looked at each other.
"WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!" screamed Gohan.
"Oh son, don't you have confidence in me?" asked Goku.
".....uh....no."
Trunks closed his eyes. Goku shut his as well as he reached out into the panel.
*can you feel the meta tap?*
*The thing that's the shape of a donut?*
*That's it. Pry it off. But don't allow any of the metal parts to touch the sides of the bomb.*
*Okay*
"Guys, the clock is starting..... AT ONE MINUTE TO GO!!!" screamed Krillan.
"Don't worry Krillan, Trunks says we are almost there."
*Okay Goku, there are three wires, one will detonate the bomb at the start, one will reduce time to ten seconds, the other will shut it down completely*
*I hear you Trunks. Which wire do I pull?.... Trunks....... Trunks you there?*
"zzzzzzzzzzzzzz, don't worry doc, I'll count backwards from a hundred again. 99...98....*yawn*97..... 96.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzz"
"Great, just great, NOW the sleeping gas takes effect!!" complained Vegeta.
"LOOK, Trunks said that one of the wires will shut it off.... but which one?"muttered Goku.
"Maybe its the red one, I mean red is my favorite colour," said Chi Chi.
"I think its the blue one," spoke Krillan.
"What do you think,Goku?" asked Piccolo. Goku stared at the wires. His hand slowly motioned towards it and jerked the red one.
*10 seconds until detonation*
"Whoops...."
"YOU IDIOT!!! WHAT MADE YOU THINK IT WAS THE RED ONE!?!"
"....uh... I guessed." Vegeta slapped himself.
Narrator: Goku turned his head towards the wiring. He knew the world was in his hands. He knew that everything that lived on Earth was at stake!!What brilliant strategy has this Super Saiyan come up with now?
"Enie menie mighty moe, catch a tiger by his toe. If he hollers let him go, enie menie mighty ..... MOE!!" he shouted as he reached for the yellow wire.
"Wait!" Piccolo exclaimed.
"Huh?" Goku asked as he looked up.
"Why not ask the narrator?" He asked as he looked up.
"Hey, Narrator! Tell us! Which wire should Kakorot cut!"
Narrator :Look, I can't tell you which wire it is.
"Why not?" whined Goku .
"Adds suspense. Besides, you guys are the heroes. You guys should figure it out. Goku is a very smart guy after all." The others glanced at each other and then at Goku.
"Awww... thanks!" Goku gushed as he snagged the yellow wire.
Narrator: All of a sudden, a blast errupted.Energy began to send energy all around, atomizing all that it touched...... and soon... the world was no mor***
"WRONG SCRIPT!!!!" cried Vegeta.
Narrator: Oh, sorry. Hmmm, I'll be darn, they are still alive!!!
Chi Chi walked over and handed Vegeta his newborn son. It felt so strange at first. Holding something far weaker then his own.
".....my...child...." he muttered. He never realized how good it felt to hold something so helpless as this... and the thoughts that he could create it into a fine warrior.
Goku looked around as he started scratching his head.
"Goku, what are you look for?" asked Krillan.
"Its just that.... where did Freeza's Third Cousin Twice Removed and his android go?"
"Hmph, they probably ran away. That's what separates him from the real Freeza. Freeza will take care of things right here and right now. His cousin seems to hide and wait for opportunity to strike. With him as a shape shifter and that nurse looking like just another ordinary girl, I doubt will be able to find them. But they can't hide forever," spoke Piccolo as they turned towards Vegeta as he held his son. For the first time. Not even caring about seeking and destroying the enemy.
"And so that was how you were born. Bulma wanted to name you after that purple haired brat from the future. Bah, women. Oh well, she said I get to name the next one. I'll make sure to pick something out that won't be as vulgar as 'Trunks'. I did however get Vegeta as your middle name. It ain't much, but the Vegeta name lives on. MWHA HA HA HA... eh, I better not laugh so hard. God that story was long. If I were to wake you up now, I'll have to tell the whole thing over again. Why am I talking to you? You are only a year old and can barely walk; can't even speak either."
Goku: HEY VEGETA!! COME QUICK!! ITS EVOLVING!!!!
"*sigh*. Now I know, because I can't find anything that's smarter then a grapefruit anymore here on this planet. Well, I gotta go now. Its March 12. Time for me to send some Androids to the scrap yard. Ahhh, I haven't had a glorious fight since Namek. Well...... goodnight."
Vegeta slowly exited the nursery room. He enjoyed going in there. Gives him a chance to brag about his glory and such,while his child would smile and giggle.
Trunks slowly opened his eyes as he laid there.
"...dad-dy..." it whispered as it slowly closed its eyes and cuddled the warm blanket and the small brown teddy bear.
The End......
A small lizard like figure watched from a window. A smile curled in his lips as his three prong hand pressed against the glass.
...... or is it?
Vegeta- Hugh Jackman
Bulma- Niki Tyler
Goku- Kraig Kilborn
Chi Chi- Natalie Portman
Freeza's Third Cousin Twice Removed- Ray Park
Freeza- Gwen Stefani
Gohan- Miko Hughes
Piccolo- Mel Gibson
Krillan- Dean Cain
Yamcha- Chris O'Donnell
Tien- Ken Wahl
Chowzu- Leonardo Di Caprio
Master Roshi- Mike Myers
Murai Trunks- James Van Der Beek
Baby Trunks- my next door neighbor's son
Dr.Gero- Sean Connery
Jelly Bean- Topaz989
Dr.Briefs- George Perez
Mrs.Briefs- Alicia Silverstone
Nameks-
Brian
Nick
Kevin
Howie
AJ
Nurses- Britney Spears
Christina Aguilera
Mandy Moore
Jessica Simpson
Kami- Leonard Nimoy
Mr.Popo- Ricky Martin
Narrarator- Chris Sabat
Brought to you by FUNimation. Quality Anime at its best.
