Pyar Ishq Aur Mohabbat 101

Munna heard his cellphone ring and picked it up. "Hello?"

"Bhai?"

"Hey, Circuit." Munnabhai chuckled. "Kya hua? Why aren't you here with me at the Dhobi Ghat?"

"Er, sorry bhai. I'll be there in five minutes." Circuit hung up and Munna took another swig from his bottle.

If Circuit doesn't get here soon, I'll finish off all of the booze by myself!

It was their unspoken ritual, their weekly binges at the Dhobi Ghat. And just like any other night, Munna could feel the familiar buzz that always caused him to slur his words.

"Hey, Circuit, tu kahan gaye the, yaar?" Munnabhai sputtered out.

"Not where, bhaiyya, who!" Circuit mumbled back.

Munna quirked an eyebrow. "You went to someone? Kya bakwaas, Circuit."

"Haan, yaar." Circuit drawled back.

I've never seen him like this before. Kya hua hai?

"Kaun hai woh?" Munna gave Circuit a curious look, as he began to struggle against his muddled mind and tried to focus once again.

Circuit gave him a dreamy grin. "Mera pehla pyar."

"Circuit, we need to talk!"

The glare of the morning sun was harsh and Munnabhai could clearly feel the consequences of their alcohol binge, but he had a mission. Circuit may not have remembered their conversation from the night before, but Munna certainly did.

And Circuit was already running off. "Sorry, bhai, but I need to go, I'm already late –"

Munna rolled his eyes, grabbing Circuit by his collar and pushing him down so that he took a seat at the café table. "Where are you going?"

Circuit looked away from Munnabhai sheepishly. "Nowhere…"

"Going to see your girlfriend, na?"

Circuit said nothing and simply blushed.

Who are you and what have you done with Circuit?

Munna waved his hand flippantly. "Hey, Circuit, yeh Hema, Aishwarya bhool na, yaar."

"Lara."

"What?"

"Uska naam Lara hai."

Munna grinned in spite of himself. "Ek first-class item, na?"

The boys chuckled in agreement before Circuit's expression sobered. "Leken…"

"But what?"

Circuit sighed. "She's a 'good' girl."

"Aur tum ek goonda ho." Munna finished for him.

"Yeah." Circuit let his shoulders fall in disappointment. "I really like her, bhai."

Then I guess I have to do my best to help.

"No problem, Circuit. Your bhai is here, he'll set everything right!" Munnabhai promised.

"Sach?" Circuit asked, his eyes widening in excitement. "How?"

"Ek minute." Munna grabbed Circuit by the arm, dragging him along. "First we need to clean up your act."

"Bhai, why am I wearing this…this thing?" Circuit growled, pulled angrily at his dress shirt.

"Women love men who wear suits." Munna explained, putting down the magazine he was reading. The tailor continued to fix Circuit's outfit. "Doctors, lawyers, movie stars, all of them wear these. And they have an endless supply of girls."

Circuit shook his head in exasperation. "That's because they have the one thing women really want."

"What's that?"

"Money!"

Poor Circuit. He really doesn't understand how all of this ishq vishk stuff works.

Munnabhai patted Circuit's cheek benevolently. "You just listen to what I say and Lara will be yours in no time."

The tailor returned, placing a tie around Circuit's neck. "Yeh kya hai? A noose? Bhai, I thought you were trying to help me, not kill me!"

"It's a tie. It goes with the suit. Just sit quietly and let them pick one out for you." Munna returned his attention to his magazine.

This is going to be harder than I thought…

"You and Lara are on a date and you see a man stealing an old lady's purse, what do you do?" Munnabhai and Circuit sat at the café tables as Munna quizzed Circuit on appropriate behaviour.

"Beat up the man before he can steal the purse, saala." Circuit huffed before breaking out into a cheeky grin. "And then steal the purse for myself!" Circuit laughed hysterically but stopped abruptly when he noticed that Munna was not laughing with him.

"It was a joke, yaar." Circuit said, trying to appease Munnabhai.

"If I was Lara, I would have left you already." Munna warned.

Circuit chuckled again. "If you were Lara, this would have all been a lot easier."

Munna smiled. "Hey, do you want this girl or not?"

"I'm not sure she's worth giving all of this up…" Circuit muttered under his breath.

"Kya?" Munna asked seriously.

"Nothing, bhai." Circuit patted Munnabhai's arm "Thanks for all of your help. I would be nowhere without you."

Munna slapped his best friend's back. "Jao. Go get her." Munnabhai pushed Circuit off to see his lady love.

Good luck, Circuit.

The Dhobi Ghat seemed unnaturally silent at night all of a sudden. Munnabhai had finished off twice as much alcohol as usual, yet the buzz just wasn't enough to get him in a good mood.

It wasn't the alcohol; it was Circuit that always put me in a good mood.

Munna grimaced at the thought. Circuit was nowhere in sight, and he had no one to blame but himself.

I was the one who made him clean up his act. Now he's probably off with his girlfriend and has forgotten all about me.

Munna tried to feel happy for his friend, but the thought just made him feel lonelier.

Munnabhai reached for another bottle, ready to earn the title of Sharaabi No. 1.

"Hey, bhai, bohut bura hai tu. Aren't you going to save any for me?" A voice rang out.

"Circuit?" Munnabhai slurred.

"The one and only." Circuit replied, taking a seat next to Munna.

"Why are you here? What about Lara? What would she say if she knew you were out drinking with your goonda bhai?" Munnabhai asked, his words speedily stringing together.

Circuit loosened his tie and threw it a small distance. Just far enough. "It turns out Lara likes me better when I'm being myself."

Munnabhai couldn't keep the smile off of his face. "Of course, mamu! Don't you know that what good girls really like are the bad boys?"

"Really? Tu mahaan hai, bhai. You know everything there is to know!" Circuit praised.

"And one day you will too, Circuit." Munna assured him.

"Because you'll teach me, na?"

Munna nodded.

Of course. I just worry about the day when I have nothing left to teach.

Circuit leaned back, lazily stretching his feet out. "Good girls love bad boys, lucky for us, eh bhai?"

Munnabhai took a swig and handed Circuit the half-empty bottle.

"Haan…lucky for us."

Kya hua? - What happened?

Tu kahan gaye the, yaar? - Where did you go, man?

Kya bakwaas - What crap

Kaun hai woh? – Who is this?

Mera pehla pyar - My first love

Bhool – Forget

Uska naam Lara hai - Her name is Lara

Leken... – But...

Aur tum ek goonda ho - And you are a gangster

Yeh kya hai? - What is this?

Saala, Mamu - Insults

Jao - Go

Sharaabi - Drunkard

Tu mahaan hai - You are great

Written for Terrific Tina. This was also part of my challenge at 7virtues, where Abstinence was my prompt. Please review, concrit is appreciated!