Disclaimer: Numb3rs belongs to CBS; I am DB – the alphabets do not coincide ergo Numb3rs is not mine.
A/N: All that I didn't know in regards to canon – I made up. Muahaha.
For Magister Equitum and anyone else starting university this fall.
Doubts Of Today
«The only limitation to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today»
-Franklin D. Roosevelt
The soft sound of raindrops pelting every surface they could reach was the music filling Don Eppes' ears as he lay in bed and tossed a baseball up, catching it before it decked him right in the face on it's downward path. With summer nearly over and the time rapidly approaching for him and his friends to go off to their different university campuses and move in to begin four years of college life away from home and parental guidance, Don knew this time could have been better spent with his buddies. However, it was pouring outside which put playing baseball out of the question along with the fact that he didn't have the energy to socialize today.
Pretty soon, the Craftsman home was going to become his vacation spot and he wouldn't mind spending a little time here while it was still home home. Don knew that once he moved out, chances were it was going to stay that way. If things worked out, he was going to live the life he wanted and no-one was going to say boo about it – the Craftsman would always be there, but Don knew that his time as its permanent occupant was soon drawing to a close. Or to be more specific, on August 15th, Don was moving out and from here on after, would be a guest in his own home.
Charlie, and his mother, on the other hand, would leave for New Jersey the week before the 15th to settle into the small apartment his dad's friend had helped find for them. Because only in this household would a 13-yr old go to college the same year as an 18-yr-old.
The baseball started getting tossed more vigorously into the air.
Preparations had already begun for half of the family moving East. Their mum had already resigned from her job here but was optimistic that she could get another in the legal profession in Jersey. Their father was adjusting by being subject to cooking lessons every night by their mom and the whole family dined on his daily exploits. The results were getting better and better as the summer faded into autumn and Don no longer had to sneak out to grab pizza in order to not go to bed starving. Okay, maybe not anymore most of the time.
Thankfully, his mother had been slipping him some extra money so that he didn't have to empty his wallet to pay for dinner although they made sure Alan never found out.
Don was just running through a mental list of all the stuff he needed to pack to take to his down room come moving-in time in two weeks when there was a knock on his door. Catching the baseball on its downward curve, Don put his arms down from their lifted positions and called out:
"Yeah?"
The door opened noiselessly (it wouldn't do for the parents to hear the tell-tale creak of a teenager's door and know their eldest son was up and about when he shouldn't be) and a curly haired mass appeared in the crack between door and doorpost.
"Don?"
Don shifted his head a little so he could see his brother properly, or rather, the part of his brother's anatomy currently poking in.
"What's up, Chuck? It's not time for dinner, is it?"
"No, it's only five o'clock."
"Okay." Don frowned when Charlie did nothing more than stand there. "What's up, buddy?"
"Can I come in?" came the hesitant question and Don almost laughed at the timidity of it – this guy was supposed to start college – no, not even college, Princeton of all places– this fall?
"If you promise not to knick my stuff, be my guest," said Don jokingly although his humour fell flat as it didn't seem to have any effect on his younger brother who just slipped in, closed the door quietly behind him and sat in Don's desk chair to the left of the bed.
Shifting his head to see his brother better in this new position, he twirled the baseball in his hands as he surveyed Charlie with a hint of worry. Normally, the baby of the family would be cooped up in the solarium working on his blackboards till dinner, relishing the fact that it was raining because it meant their mother wouldn't insist on him going outside to get some air.
Noticing that Charlie's right knee had begun to bop up and down rapidly, a tell-tale sign that his brother was nervous, and by the way the young genius clasped his hands in his lap told Don that Charlie had something on his mind which he was hesitant to share. Don decided to take pity on his brother – Charlie had worked up the courage to come to him on his own, the least he could do was nudge Charlie to say what he wanted to say.
"Charlie? Something in that humongous brain of yours you'd like to share before it's time for dinner and we face death by food poisoning from Dad?"
Yup, something was definitely off – the comment hadn't even made Charlie look away from the hole he was currently burning into the foot of Don's bed.
"Charlie?" Don intoned again, genuinely worried now.
"I don't think I want to go to Princeton," said Charlie suddenly. And then he looked Don in the eye.
Charles Eppes, master of bombshells.
At a loss for words, Don settled for staring at his brother. He sat up suddenly and turned so that he directly facing Charlie.
"Charlie. Say that again?" Don asked, thinking he'd heard wrong.
"Princeton. I don't want to go," repeated Charlie, eyebrows raised in the hopes that Don would understand and not freak out.
"Charlie." Maybe if he said his brother's name enough, the person sitting in front of him would start acting like his brother. "Why not?"
Charlie spread his hands a bit and shrugged. "It's so far away."
"Yeah, but Charlie, it's Princeton."
"It's in New Jersey – why do I have to go to another coast for college?" rebutted Charlie.
"I know it's far, Charlie, but mom's going with you."
"That too," Charlie pointed out. "Mom shouldn't have to move away from Dad, give up her job, just so I can go to college."
"You can't go alone, Charlie, you're only thirteen."
Charlie nodded his head vigorously. "Exactly. I'm only thirteen. Who says I have to go to college this fall? I still have five years."
This was getting ridiculous. Don sighed and tried another tactic: "Charlie… you're a genius. You're more than five years ahead of everybody else and now you want to delay yourself five years? You love learning, I thought you couldn't wait to go to college, be amongst other smart people who will be able to talk to you on a semi-equal level, actually get what you're trying to say."
"But Princeton isn't the only college. Can't I go someplace closer to home?"
"Yeah… but Charlie, Princeton is giving you a full-ride. I know Mom and Dad would love for you to go to college here, in California, but… it's the best option. Not only will you get the best education, which you deserve, but Mom and Dad can afford it."
Charlie was looking at him pleadingly now, needing Don to see his side in this. "But Don…,"
"What , Charlie?" asked Don gently. A part of him wanted to say how ungrateful Charlie was acting. Not everyone got into college, and an Ivy League college at that, with a full ride, and Don doubted there was anyone who loved math as much as Charlie did. And now to not want it when he had it, after all their parents had done to get Charlie this far, so that his gift wouldn't be wasted-- Don bit down the urge and waited patiently as a mix of emotions crossed Charlie's expressive face.
"… it won't be what I'm used to," whispered Charlie finally, fear making his eyes wide and Don couldn't help feeling his brother's pain. This was Charlie, his kid brother who hadn't even hit puberty yet and going to college? With keg parties and all-nighters and teenagers taking full advantage of no parental supervision?
"Charlie…," said Don softly. Suddenly, he reached across the gap and grabbed the arms of the chair Charlie was sitting in and pulled it forward, the chair rolling on its castors until his younger brother was closer to the bed and the brothers' knees touched due to the proximity.
"Look. This is normal what you're feeling. A lot of people get jitters the closer it gets to college starting. I know it doesn't seem that way now, but once you get to Princeton, you'll like it so much you'll hardly believe there was a time you didn't want to go there."
Charlie still looked dubious. "But I'm going to be so far from home."
"Mom will be with you, Charlie," repeated Don.
"What about Dad? I won't get to see him," rebutted Charlie.
Don nodded. "I know. But you'll be coming back in the holidays – you'll be seeing him at Christmas, maybe over spring break, and definitely over the summers. You'll be so busy studying you won't even realize a few months have passed and it's time to come home to LA again." Don smirked. "You don't even notice time passing here; you'll hardly notice it there with all those eggheads keeping you busy."
"But what about you?"
Don frowned. "What about me?"
"I won't get to see you everyday."
Don smiled and curbed the urge of reaching forward to ruffle Charlie's hair by assuming a hurt expression and saying:
"So I'm last on your list, huh?" The look on Charlie's face was priceless but before his brother could trip over himself trying to correct Don, he quickly said "Just kidding, Chuck." When his brother gave him 'the look' for his joke, he got back to business:
"Even if you weren't going to Princeton you wouldn't be seeing me every day, Chuck. It happens, Charlie, people grow up, go to college. I'll be home during the holidays, just like you."
"Every holiday?" Charlie pressed.
"Well… not spring break, if you know I mean." Don smiled slyly before quickly becoming serious again. "Sorry, bad joke. But yeah, every holiday."
Charlie nodded before dropping his head a bit and staring at his hands which lay in his lap. If Don thought he'd convinced Charlie, he was wrong:
"I still don't want to go," came the subdued whisper.
Don shifted his hands until they rested on his brother's shoulders. He waited until Charlie looked up before speaking:
"Look, how about I make you a deal?" When Charlie nodded, he continued. "You go to Princeton –still talking here-," he interjected when Charlie opened his mouth to protest. "You go to Princeton, and when you come for Christmas and you still don't like it, you don't have to go back, alright? Just try it for a few months before you give it up altogether. Will you do that for me?" Don asked, playing the big brother card.
"But Mom and Dad won't let me drop out." Charlie pointed out the flaw in the plan.
Don smiled. "You let me worry about Mom and Dad. All you have to do is go to Princeton, honestly give it a try and then let me know what your final decision is when we both get back to LA. Agreed?"
Charlie mulled it over for a few moments before hesitantly nodding his agreement.
"So I guess I'm going to Princeton in two weeks, huh?" Charlie said softly and Don squeezed his brother's shoulders tightly when he noticed the glistening of his brother's eyes.
"It's going to be ok, Charlie, I promise. Mom will be there with you and I have a feeling you're going to love your professors because finally, somebody will be able to challenge you, put that brain of yours to the test. Don't you want to learn more about," Don searched for the correct terms, "…differential equations and fractals and why I can never win the lottery?"
Charlie smiled a little at the last part and nodded.
"See? And in-between you working your butt off, you can always give me a call if you're feeling homesick. And mom's going to be right there too, you won't even have to do your own laundry like I'll have to."
Charlie sniffed before smiling more widely. "I'm going to tell Mom you said that."
"Said what?"
"That you only want her around to do your laundry for you."
"You wouldn't if you knew what's good for you, Chuck," warned Don playfully. In a more serious tone, he added: "So… we good?"
Charlie nodded and at a raise of Don's eyebrow, he verbalized his consent. "Yes. We're good."
"And we have a deal?"
"We have a deal."
"And you're going to pay for pizza?"
"And I'm going t– wait, what? No!... what pizza?"
"The pizza we are going to go get right now because I'm starving and if my ever-trusty nose is right, I think Dad's burnt something. If we go now, they won't notice." He grabbed the chair Charlie was sitting on and spun it around on its axle so that his younger brother went whizzing two, three times in a circle, grabbing the arms of the chair in a desperate attempt to not fall off. "Come on, move it."
"But it's pouring outside," protested Charlie in a breathless voice as the chair finally stopped spinning and he regained some of his equilibrium.
"I know my car is a bit banged up but what makes you think it's a convertible, bro? It still had a roof the last time I checked." Don opened the door of his bed-room and sniffed:
"Yup. Dad's definitely burnt something."
Khatum (The End)
It was weird thinking of Don being my age shudders. As for Charlie's emotions, trust me, a 13-yr-old and the prospect of boarding school/university? Freaky. Good luck with exams everyone, it's that time of the year again.