Disclaimer: I most certainly do not own Harry Potter. The only thing I own (sort of) is the idea for this story. See A/N at the end for clarification.

The battle is raging as Charlie Weasley rushes through the front gates of Hogwarts. The first thing he realizes is that getting to the castle won't be easy. He also knows, though, that nothing will keep him from his family now. Drawing his wand, he begins to run, aiming curses at the Death Eaters that try to get in his way.

It takes him a long time to get inside, but once he does, the first person he sees is McGonagall. She stares at him in shock, and he can't help but feel guilty. It's been a long time since he's been back at Hogwarts – not since the Triwizard Tournament, in fact – and he's sure that's why she is surprised. Everyone else in his family, at least, was there for Dumbledore's funeral, but not Charlie. No, Charlie was never there when it counted. Well, this time he is. This time… he will help.

"Where is everyone?" he shouts at her, and she stares at him for another moment before motioning to the Great Hall.

He wonders at her silence even as he rushes away from her. In his memory, Professor McGonagall is always in charge and never at a loss for words. But as he goes running into the Great Hall, he skids to a halt at the sight that greets him – and he finally begins to understand what it means to be speechless.

The bodies line the wall, and he doesn't want to look, doesn't want to recognize any of them, but he is unable to look away. Aware of many eyes on him, he is still drawn to them, to the fallen heroes, and he walks along the row, hoping against hope that he won't find one he knows. But he knows he will. And when he sees Tonks's lifeless form – lying alongside Lupin's, no less – and didn't Mum just owl him that they had a baby? – he feels as if the life's been stolen out of him. His head starts to spin, and he knows he has to get away. It can't be Tonks. It can't be.

Hardly aware that his family is there, that they are watching him, that they are seeing his panic, his complete inability to cope with reality, he stumbles out of the Hall. He doesn't know where he is going, but he knows he can't be in there any longer with the bodies – with her body – with all of those people watching him. He finds an alcove soon – it didn't used to be an alcove, but he doesn't want to think about that now – and he huddles inside it.

If he draws his knees up to his chest and hides his face, no one will find him. He's sure of it … but he hadn't counted on Bill seeing him run out of the Hall and knowing the reason why. And sure enough, he's been sitting there not five minutes when he feels a hand on his arm, and he looks up with a start into his older brother's scarred face.

Bill is trying to smile but failing miserably. "Were you planning on finding us too?" he asks Charlie, and Charlie can't help but notice that Bill's voice sounds nothing like it usually does. He chalks this up to fear, though, and he tries to smile.

"Sorry about that, mate," he mutters. "It's just… I went in there. And I saw…" and he finds that he can't even say her name, but Bill says quietly, "I know. I saw her too. Mum says she was hit by a curse when her back was turned. She never even knew."

Charlie stares at him. "Do you think that makes it better?" he suddenly chokes. He shakes his head, and then he puts his face back into his arms even as he mumbles, "I think I might have actually loved her once."

He's not sure if Bill can really hear what he's just said, but it doesn't matter much either way. He just needed to say it, and now, he feels slightly calmer even though he's still miserable. This might also partially be due to the fact that Bill has now put his hand on his arm, and his older brother's touch has always calmed him. After another few moments, he raises his head again, but this time he manages a smile.

"I'm all right," he says, but Bill doesn't smile back. In fact, if it's at all possible, he looks even more serious than he did before. Charlie starts to get nervous.

"Bill?" he asks, and his voice shakes. "What haven't you told me?"

But Bill can't seem to say a word now, and he merely stands up and reaches down for Charlie's hand so he can pull him up as well. Charlie complies, but he wishes he could just shake whatever it is out of his older brother because the fear is starting to grip him again. What if Tonks weren't the only one…

It can't be that, though. He'd know by now, wouldn't he?

Bill leads him back to the Great Hall, but he doesn't take him in. He takes him to the doorway and then stops. After a moment, Charlie realizes where Bill is looking, and he forces himself to look there too. And what he sees, at first, seems normal. It's their family. Mum and Dad are there … but … is Mum crying? Why is she crying?

That's when he feels like he's moving in slow motion as he starts to take inventory of his siblings. Percy is standing there too. Percy came back? So shouldn't everyone be happy? But… Percy's crying too, Charlie suddenly realizes. He shifts his gaze quickly to Ron – and his eyes widen. Because his baby brother – the one who wants nothing more than to be thought of as an adult – is crying as well, and so is Hermione. Even more shocking, though, is Ginny. She – she's hugging Fleur? Since when does she even like her, Charlie wonders. And then he sees George. And then he knows. Because he shouldn't just be seeing George. He should never just be seeing George.

And his stomach is dropping; he is falling, falling, falling into a hole, and he knows that if he doesn't sit down right now, he will fall down, and he doesn't say a word to Bill as he once again rushes away, but this time, he finds himself hurtling for the Water Closet, and then he's retching into the sink. He doesn't know when Bill appears behind him, but he is there, and he's rubbing Charlie's back as he hunches over the sink, his stomach aching. When he finally stops, his eyes meet Bill's in the mirror, and he realizes that if he can see the tears in his own eyes, so can Bill, and he whispers, "It's not Fred. Tell me it isn't Fred."

But he can see from Bill's face that it is Fred; it is, and now he's retching again, and Bill's hand on his back isn't making him feel any better; it isn't, and he can't seem to stop even though there's nothing left in him. When he finally manages to stop heaving, he slumps against the sink, his head down.

Bill seems to understand – either it's that or he's not saying anything because he can't – and it's some time before he asks if Charlie's ready to go back in?

The answer, of course, is no. He was ready before – before he knew what he would see. Now? He's not ready now. He shakes his head vehemently, but he can't bring himself to look Bill in the eye because the tears he's been trying to blink away are still right there, and he knows that Bill knows it too.

But he doesn't expect his legs to suddenly stop supporting him, and he finds himself sliding to the floor in a heap. Bill crouches down, concern etched on his face, but it turns to understanding, and then his older brother's arms are around him, and for the first time since he can remember, Charlie can't control himself, and he's crying harder than he can ever remember doing before. Bill's arms tighten around him, and he knows that Bill is crying too, but it doesn't make him feel any better; in fact, it makes him feel worse because if Bill is crying, that means that this is real. It isn't a nightmare, and even Bill can't make it better.

It is a long time before either of them is calm again, and Charlie is the first to stop crying. He shifts so he is holding onto Bill, and when Bill finally calms down himself, he starts to apologize, but Charlie stops him. If they start doing this now, they'll never stop. And Bill seems to understand because he stops immediately and merely helps Charlie to his feet once more.

It is time to go in.

The first person to see them is Percy, and his face crumples when he sees Charlie, the only brother who never really hated him for what he did to their family. He takes an almost involuntary step toward him, and Charlie opens his arms just in time to catch Percy. They hold each other tightly for a moment until Percy is finally able to let go, to choke that he's so happy Charlie is back and with them. Happy? How can he be happy, Charlie wonders, but he merely tries for a lopsided smile. At least Percy's making him feel like he's done something even though there's really nothing he can do now.

He moves onto Ron and Hermione, squeezing each of their shoulders, but while Hermione smiles at him tremulously, Ron can't seem to tear his eyes away from the one place Charlie has yet to look.

He goes to Ginny next, and when she realizes who is beside her, she throws herself into his arms in much the same way Percy had, and feeling her shake is even more surprising. She is, by far, the toughest of all of them, and he swallows the lump in his throat as he realizes how much his little sister must be hurting to let anyone see her like this – let alone everyone.

And now he's standing beside his parents, and his father's eyes are wet as he grabs Charlie in a crushing hug. It couldn't be clearer to Charlie that Arthur wants to hold onto his children as tightly as he possibly can right now, and he submits to the hug without a word. But his mum is next, and her eyes swollen as she wraps her arms around him, whispering, "I'm so glad you're here, dear."

"I wish I could have been here sooner… to help…" he finds himself saying even though he hadn't expected to say anything, but Molly merely hugs him ever more tightly as she whispers, "You're here now. That's all that matters."

But it isn't; it isn't, and as she releases him, he forces himself, at last, to turn to the last of his siblings, who don't look at all the way they're supposed to.

He stares at Fred. This is his little brother. It's his little brother, and all of a sudden, his mother's voice is ringing in his head as it sounded years ago: You look after your brothers. They're younger than you are, and they're your responsibility. And he didn't; he didn't, and now Fred's gone, and George – Charlie hardly realizes what he's doing as he touches George's shoulder.

George starts. No one has touched him yet, and he looks up into the one other face that looks remotely like the one he's lost, and his vacant expression starts to fade a little; the numbness starts to disappear, and then his shoulders start to shake even though he's not making a sound, and Charlie does the first thing that comes to mind and crouches beside George so he can hold him. George buries his face in his older brother's shoulder, and Charlie knows the others are watching them and that they can probably see the tears in his own eyes, but he doesn't care right now. The only thing that matters is that Fred and George were his responsibility, and he's let them down. He's never going to do that again.

A/N: First of all, this is entirely dedicated to Dodger Gilmore. I got most of this idea from reading your Charlie chapter in "Things," and I needed to write tonight, so here it is. I hope it does justice to what you had in mind. And secondly, for now, I'm thinking this is a one shot, but if anyone has any interest in seeing more, let me know in a review. I hope you enjoy it. I'm finding it awfully sad.