Okay, the other day fma.angle pointed out to me that I have never written anything longer than a oneshot. Obviously, this meant that I had to go and write this- my first ever multi-chapter fic. And it's AU. Aren't you all proud of me? Um. Anyway. Updates will be sporadic, but not infrequent.

Warning: Like I said, it's Alternate Universe. This means some characters will be, well, out of character. I've tried to keep everyone fairly true to their personalities on the show, but obviously, they're not exactly the same. They've lived different lives, and will be slightly different because of it. Next, there are no pairings. Sorry. Finally, there will be bad language, including but not restricted to the f-word. And they won't be censored like that one was.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter One- The Three Elrics

Envy scowled threateningly at his alarm clock, and reached over to turn off the loud wailing sound. With a grunt, he got out of the bed and changed from his nightclothes to his usual black halter-neck crop top and skort. A strange choice of clothing for a boy, perhaps, but Envy liked it. And god help whoever tried to make him stop wearing it- Envy got violent very quickly. And usually very painfully, too, for whoever was on the receiving end.

"Pipsqueak! Al! Get up! If you're late, you're not blaming me!"

The response to this was an incoherent growl from Ed's room and a cheery "Good morning, Envy!" from Al's. Envy muttered darkly.

He made his way to the small kitchen, pulling the breadbin out of the cupboard and grabbing a few slices for toast. He dug some eggs out of the fridge, making a mental note to buy more, and began to fry them.

Several minutes passed before Alphonse entered the kitchen. Envy sourly pushed a plate of eggs towards the younger boy, and began to butter his toast.

"Where's Edward?" he asked, raising an eyebrow as he heard a muffled curse from Ed's room.

Al looked worried. "Ah... I think he might be having some trouble this morning. With the..." he trailed off. Envy nodded.

"Hey, pipsqueak! You alright?"

He could hear Ed's yell of incoherent rage perfectly. He snickered.

"Pipsqueak's fine." he said loudly, grinning wickedly. "He's just a little short of time."

There was another loud yell, but this one was clearer. "Who're you calling so small he could use DNA as a ladder?!" came Edward's furious voice. Envy just smirked.

"You, pipsqueak." he said, enjoying baiting the younger boy. He might have to look after the two of them, but that didn't mean he had to like them- and he didn't. Well, not much, anyway.

Ed finally arrived in the kitchen, deftly manoeuvring his wheelchair through the narrow doorway, and then reaching into the cupboard for a cereal box with his remaining hand. As he passed Envy, he kicked viciously at the older boy's shin, and Envy tried not to hiss in pain- that would leave a bruise.

"Not short." Ed grunted, obviously still sleepy.

Al sighed, and reached over to braid Ed's hair for him, since he could no longer do it himself.

"Keep telling yourself that, Pipsqueak. Come on- you two're gonna be late." he said, grabbing a backpack from the counter and chucking it at Ed, whose hair was now braided and neat. Al sighed at the behaviour of his volatile older brothers, and followed the pair out of the house.

They attracted plenty of attention from those who didn't know them. While Al might have seemed perfectly normal, the same could not be said of his brothers. Envy was dressed in skimpy clothes most commonly seen on girls, and had waist-length dyed green hair that had been styled into long spikes. Ed was missing two limbs, and, well, frankly, he was short. Even in the wheelchair, it was easy to see that the blonde-haired boy was small for his age.

Envy left them at the school gate, frowning slightly as he watched them go. A woman coughed loudly behind him to attract his attention.

"Ah- excuse me- you seem a little young to have children...?" left unspoken was the silent accusation that Envy, with his green hair and mini-skort, was not a suitable guardian for the two boys- especially not when one of them was disabled. Envy almost laughed at what Ed's reaction would've been if he thought anybody was pitying him for his missing limbs. The younger boy might've been maddening, but he was an endless source of amusement.

"They're my half-brothers. And they're annoying brats, too..." he said. She looked slightly shocked when he said 'annoying brats' but he pushed past her before she could say anything. He wasn't in the mood to deal with idiots today.

Envy scowled as he wandered down the street, thinking back. He submersed himself in his memories- going back past Trisha's death, back before the bastard had left them, even before 'The Accident' as it was referred to by both of the younger Elrics.

Edward had had all of his limbs, back then, and Envy had hated him. He hadn't liked Alphonse much, either- but it was definitely Ed he had hated more.

He remembered one incident- it had been Ed's birthday, and Envy was not happy. He'd been called William back then- back before he decided that he'd had enough of 'William' and became Envy.

Edward had been three, maybe four, opening presents like there was no tomorrow, and crowing happily with every unwrapped parcel. William had watched with growing dislike until he stalked over and pushed Edward violently down to the floor, before stomping off to his room.

He remembered Alphonse's cry of "Brother!"- a habit the boy had never really gotten out of. He used to call Envy brother too, but when he was five Envy had turned to him and said; "Look, you brat, just stop calling me brother, all right?"

Alphonse had been upset, and Edward had angrily and violently insisted that he stop being mean to Al- Ed always was overprotective of his younger brother. Even after losing his limbs, he still stood up to anybody who so much as looked at Alphonse funny.

Envy found it rather amusing actually- most people assumed that Edward in his wheelchair would be the meeker of the brothers, a pushover- but most people had never seen Edward run over three bullies and successfully knock one of them out. Oh yes, Edward was definitely the more volatile of his half-brothers, wheelchair or no.

He surfaced from his thoughts, and discovered that he had brought himself to the church. He paled slightly and turned away- the memories of a funeral fresh in his mind.

"It's coming up to the anniversary," he muttered. "The brats will probably want to come here for that." He sounded annoyed, but really, he didn't mind much. He would not begrudge his half-brothers a visit to their mother, no matter how much he himself wanted to forget.

So, what do you think? I'm not sure why I chose to do an AU, but I've always rather enjoyed reading them, and this idea struck me, so... here you go. Review, please!