Title: Memories Fade Away
Author: Reetinkerbell
Beta: None.

Fandom: Twilight Series
Spoilers: Through Eclipse.
Characters: Edward Cullen, Isabella Swan, Alice Cullen.
Summary: The night before the wedding. Alice helps Bella by clearing up a few things regarding memories.

Rating: PG
Prompt: 072. Fixed – twilight100 (LiveJournal)
Word Count: 1 981
Written: April 2008
I don't own. Please don't archive without permission.

Memories Fade Away (1/1)
– – – – –

We lay curled up in his bed together, Edward and I, the room silent but for the soft twinkling of background music pouring from his stereo. Outside, the evening had darkened, the clouds thick in the sky, preventing the almost full moon from casting even a smidgen of light on the quiet town. He was playing with my hair, deliberately slow, his mind far away as the strands wound between his fingers.

A series of loud crashes outside startled me out of my almost sleep and I sat up, glancing towards the window in confusion. I couldn't see far, much less what'd made the noise down on the ground, but as Edward chuckled lightly and pulled me back down, my heart calmed. Not someone here to kill me right now then.

"Emmett and Jasper," he answered my unasked question. "Alice is going to have their heads when she finds them." I looked up at him from my place against his side, wondering what the two had broken this time, a seemingly common occurrence in the Cullen household.

Before I had a chance to ask, Alice stormed into the room, the door slamming shut with a bang in her wake. Her eyes were livid and I stared at her in surprised shock, the sound startling me again.

"Uh, Alice?" I asked hesitantly, sitting up despite Edward's protest. "What's wrong?"

"That idiot husband of mine has ruined the wedding!" She began pacing back and forth in front of the bed. "I can't see what's going to happen tomorrow because someone," she threw a look at Edward who sank back against the pillows, "felt the need to invite the werewolves and now I have no idea if I'll be able to do over the whole back yard in time."

"I'm sure it's not that bad," I tried. Alice walked over to the window and glared down through the darkness.

I knew she wouldn't be able to see the area she'd so painstakingly worked on for so long to make it just right for Edward and myself. I appreciated the effort she'd put into the wedding more than she knew – and not just because with her help I hadn't had to deal with it, as all the details overwhelmed me when I just had to hear about it second-hand from her, but for Edward's sake. He deserved the perfect wedding.

After all, he had waited a long time to take this step and it meant more to him right now than it did to me. I just wanted to be with him on equal, vampire footing, whether I was his wife or not.

I threw a glance back at Edward and he sighed as he pulled away and stood from the bed, reluctance plain on his beautiful face. "Emmett and Jasper's friendly little brawl went a little overboard," he told me, turning towards Alice as she snorted.

"How little?" I asked, pulling the covers more securely around me, feeling suddenly cold without him beside me. Odd that, considering how truly cold his body was.

I could hear the grimace on his face as he replied. "I better go help them clean up. They'll have no idea what to do." He kissed me softly on the forehead, threw a glance at Alice's still figure by the window and hurriedly left the room.

"It's salvageable though right?" I asked once he was out of sight.

Alice suddenly turned towards me, her anger over the broken furniture forgotten. "Bella!" she cried, as if suddenly realising I was there. "You're getting married tomorrow. You should be at home, in your own bed. Its bad luck to see the groom twenty-four hours before your wedding."

I frowned. "I thought that was just about not seeing the dress before-"

Alice waved a hand in front of her, cutting me off. "There's more than one tradition about this Bella."

"Must I follow them all?" I asked, doubt and reluctance tainting my voice.

"Well of course. You're only going to-"

"-be human once. I know, I know."

She came closer and sat on the bed, frowning as she studied me. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," I replied automatically.

Alice raised an eyebrow, settling down beside me against the pillows. "Try that again if you please."

I took a moment, trying to gather my thoughts into something resembling structure. I didn't know if I could talk about this with Alice. Next to Edward, she was my best friend, but it felt almost wrong to unload my fears about losing my human memories on her when she had none. But I knew she wouldn't let it go until I told her the truth, and unlike with Edward, who would only feel even more guilty and doubtful, at least I knew it wouldn't change her mind about me joining the Cullen clan as a vampire.

"I'm a little worried about my memories," I began, not looking at her. I took a deep breath and exhaled before I continued. "I know that I'll forget a lot of things and though it's not going to make it any easier, I've come to terms with it. It's the price I have to pay to have my future with Edward.

"But as much as it's going to pain me to forget my parents and Forks and Jacob," I almost whispered the last name as if saying it aloud would make me forget that much sooner, "what if I don't remember anything?"

"That won't happen," Alice said with certainty.

"All right, maybe not everything, but what if I forget meeting Edward for the first time? Or our first kiss? What if I forget how I fell in love with him?" I felt a tear run slowly down my cheek and I wiped it away before it dripped off my chin. "And now, we're getting married. What if I don't remember our wedding Alice?"

"Bella," Alice put a finger under my chin and tilted my head so she could look into my eyes. "You are going to forget a lot of things from your human life. Not all of it at once, I think, but with time your memories are going to fade, maybe completely."

I blinked and another tear made its way down my cheek. Alice glanced at it, slowly brushing it away before I had a chance.

"I'm not saying this to hurt you, you know that right?" I nodded. "But you need to truly come to terms with this before it is too late. It won't do you any good to dwell in the past too much. It's more difficult, because your family is still alive. I wasn't around when the others were changed, but I know that Emmett had a difficult time letting his family go also.

"And while you can keep in touch with your parents through email and phone calls for the first few years, it won't be long until you too will have to let go, for your sake as well as theirs. Fake your own death, and Edward's too for that matter. And you'll never be able to look back. It's going to be hard and you're going to miss them. You'll remember the feelings more than anything else I've been told. How much they love you, and how much you in turn loved them. But you'll forget so much more. Their scent, the way Renee's hair looked like in the sun and the colour of Charlie's eyes."

I was truly crying now as I listened to Alice's quiet voice. Objectively I'd known all of this for months, but to hear it spelled out for me exactly what I would lose was painful. Not as painful as losing my future with Edward, but painful nonetheless.

"But Bella, you will not forget Edward."

I frowned in confusing, barely comprehending this turn of events. "What do you mean?"

"You will risk losing your human memories." She brushed a hand over my head and down, as if petting a child. Which, in this house I technically was.

"So, I'll remember everything as long as there was a vampire in the room?"

Alice laughed. "Essentially, yes."

"So, wait..." I trailed off. "I didn't know that."

"I expect Edward didn't want you to know because he knows losing the memories of your parent's have been holding you back. And with this uh, 'vampire-clause'," she winked at me with a smile, "you will at least remember your parents through memories with him. A little hazy in comparison to how clearly you'll remember Edward or whichever vampire is in the memory, but you'll at least have something."

I was quiet for a moment and Alice, sensing my need to think for myself, gazed around the room as she waited for me to process what she'd just told me. I wondered if she was thinking about her past as deeply as I was thinking about my future.

"How do you know this?" I asked, finally settling on the question I figured was the easiest one to answer. Many of the others would be saved for the talk I would have with Edward. Soon. And boy was he not going to like that particular talk. "I can't imagine a lot of humans have been this close to vampires for any extended period of time before becoming dinner."

"The Volturi," Alice replied.

I almost groaned at my own stupidity.

"They've had humans working for them almost for as long as they've been settled in Volterra. Some of which were with them for several years before they were finally changed."

"Like Gianna." It wasn't a question, but Alice nodded anyway. I smiled at her, relieved. I'd been worrying for nothing. If only Edward had told me sooner. Then I might've actually taken a more active role in all the 'human experiences' he wanted me to have before I was changed. I'd always figured it was a waste of both time and money, as I wouldn't remember any of it anyway.

"Feel better now?" She was smiling back at me.

"Much."

I hesitated, looking down at the gold cover, playing with the edge. "So this 'vampire-clause'. Does it just apply to vampires?" I asked, glad I was asking Alice this rather than Edward.

Alice knew exactly what I was getting at. "To be honest I don't know. No one really knows how it's possible, but it could have something to do with being turned into a vampire yourself. You recognise your own kind so to speak. But I can't see why it shouldn't apply to all mythical creatures."

"Which would mean that my clearest memories of Jacob would be of him telling me we can't be friends any more, lots of sleeping and him being an annoying, bratty werewolf?" I wouldn't remember how he became my personal sun during my months of hell. His innocent, Jacob smile that I never truly saw after he changed.

"Like I said, I don't know. But at least it'd be something," she pointed out.

I felt the sudden urge to hug her, worrying that my fears had upset her, making her think of her own unknown past. I went with my instincts and after twisting around to face her, I wrapped my arms around her the best I could with the both of us leaning side by side against a group of pillows. I felt Alice's arms wrap around my back and her head fall gently to rest on top of mine in reply. I could tell she was smiling against my hair.

"Sleep now," she whispered quietly. "You have a big day tomorrow."

My smile widened. I was looking forward to it much more now, now that I knew that I would not forget.

Alice held me until I fell asleep; softly humming along to the music as outside another crash from down below rang out into the dark night.

The End.