Sweet Dreams…
DISCLAIMER: Clamp I am not.
AUTHOR'S NOTE Fai made me write it, I swear…
Really, started as a weird, bad inside joke with friends. Somehow turned into a fic. Short too.
Kurogane opened his eyes. He yawned. He shook his head to dislodge the lingering cobwebs of sleep.
And a large pink bubble floated past him.
What the hell? Pink? A pink bubble! He was more disturbed by the color than the bubble itself.
Ok. Maybe I'm still asleep. But why would I dream about pink bubbles? He was a man. Men did not dream about pink things.
"Kuro-wankuro!" came an exuberant shriek.
Kurogane did a double take. The pink bubbles seemed sane now. The pink bubbles seemed like the most ordinary, commonplace, normal thing on the planet.
And he was definitely either drunk, or asleep. Maybe both.
Fai was sitting not a foot away from him. They were both on a blanket, in a field of daisies. And Fai had kitty ears, a tail, and was in a very short maid outfit. And Kurogane actually liked it.
His subconscious, he decided, had major issues.
He looked at Kitty-Fai again. Kitty-Fai giggled, and smiled at him seductively.
His subconscious had major, gigantic, monstrous issues. And right now, he was ok with that.
Why squander ones good fortune? Ne?
So, he pounced on Kitty-Fai, and pinned him down on the blanket.
"No, Kuro-pon is a bad little doggy!" Kitty-Fai scolded him. "Not yet. I want to ask you something first."
"What?" he growled.
Kitty-Fai pecked him on the lips. "What does Kuro-myu think of my outfit?"
"Looks great, now can we get on with things?"
Kitty-Fai chuckled. "I got it special, just for my puppy!"
"Great." Kurogane said again, and pressed his mouth to Fai's. Or tried to, since Fai's hand got in the way.
"I have another question."
Damn! How was this fair? He had to deal with annoying Fai all the time in real life! Why did he have to be annoying in his dreams too?
"Do you think I'm pretty?" Fai asked.
What the hell? This was a weird dream.
"Beautiful. Now shut up!"
"Be serious, Kuro-tan!"
He looked down at Kitty-Fai. What a dumb ass question, he thought. "Of course I think you're pretty, you're gorgeous." He muttered.
"Kuro-bu is so sweat!" Kitty-Fai laughed. "And, do you love me?"
Clearly, this was going nowhere till he answered these questions. And clearly, his subconscious wanted this for some bizarre reason. So whatever, he would play along. It was only a dream, after all. Not like he was telling the real Fai this stuff.
So he said, "Yes."
"Very, very much?" Kitty-Fai grinned cutely.
That was asking a bit much from him. So Kurogane didn't answer.
"Pretty please tell me?" Kitty-Fai begged. And gave him that damned irresistible look. Curse that look!
"Fine, very, very much."
"More than anybody else in the world?"
"Yes." He grudgingly admitted.
"And you want to stay with me, forever and ever?"
"Can't we please get on with this!" this was his dream. And he had Fai, in a short skirt, pinned on a blanket. So why the hell was he answering questions!
"One more." Kitty-Fai pleaded. "What is your favorite name I've ever given you?"
"No way in hell am I telling you that!"
Seriously, he was fine with the other questions. Mostly. Ok, he would never say half those things while awake, but even when asleep he was not going to admit that he liked those names. And, for the record, he didn't.
"Fine, no sex till I get an answer!" Kitty-Fai said.
"That's stupid!" Kurogane hollered.
"No sex." Kitty-Fai said with a note of conclusiveness.
Kurogane glowered. This was not fair, totally not. This was his dream, his! And damn, he had been ready for something far more enjoyable than this. He could play twenty questions with Fai in reality any time he wanted. Why was he doing it in his dream?
"Last one?" he snarled.
"Last one." Kitty-Fai promised.
"Fine. Kuro-chan." He mumbled.
And now, the good part…
"Ok, Mokona, did you get all that?"
"Mokona taped all of it, Fai-Fai." The manju bun answered.
The whole pink bubble, daisy field place dissolved around Kurogane. And was replaced by his own room. Fai, still clad in the ridiculously short costume, but minus the ears and tail, was under him. And Mokona was near the top of the bed with a video camera.
He was too much in shock to move a moment.
Fai wiggled from under him.
"Send it to Yuko. Tell her thanks. Things went better than I planed. Oh, and copy it first." Fai instructed Mokona.
"Leave it to Mokona!"
Kurogane got over his shock, and passed quickly over to rage. He grabbed Fai, and once again pinned him. Though, this time it was in anger.
"What did you do?" he demanded.
"I made a wish, Kuro-chan." Fai was completely unfazed by his seemingly imminent death. "I wanted to be able to ask you things, and know that I would get a truthful answer. So Yuko suggested this. And the tape is the payment."
The tape…the one in which he said he loved Fai, found him pretty, and admitted his favorite name was Kuro-chan? Oh, hell no!
"Get it back!" He yelled at Fai.
"Well, if you would rather pay Yuko yourself…" Fai trailed off. "Don't worry, Kuro-chan. Yuko promised it would be only for her personal use."
Was that meant to reassure him? Kurogane shuddered at the thought.
"Kuro-pi, you answered all the questions. Remember what I said?" Fai reminded him.
Kurogane grew considerably happier after hearing that. After all, why waist one's good fortune?"
END NOTE:
ME: Very odd.
FAI: I liked it!
KUROGANE: Of course you did! You weren't horribly mentally scared by it!
FAI: Were you? Because, at the time…
ME: As I said, Fai made me.