Here we go, my new story! Just a note, this will not be very long… maybe 6 or 7 chapters at most, depending on how I could drag it out. I got the idea for this after I overheard my friends having a heated conversation about America's Next Top Model.

This isn't the new one I planned on making, considering that one is taking a fucking long time to create. I'll get it out though. Don't fret!

Ok, there are really messed up things about this, namely details. The Akatsuki have all their shinobi abilities, but then again the models are all shinobis and kunoichis we know and they certainly do not have their talents. It wouldn't have worked out! So this is semi-AU.

Just for the record, this is a complete joke and is in no way supposed to be serious.

Naruto doesn't belong to me. Read and Review. Have fun.

"Shush baka, it's almost on!"

"He hit me!"

"I did not!"

"Did too!"

"Shut up all of you!"

The bickering ended as the four very masculine men all heard the announcement on the television. Itachi, Kisame, Deidara and Sasori all became restless in their seats; eight eyes quickly tuned in after hearing their god speak the words they had all come to love.

"Previously, on Konoha's Next Top Model:" Tsunade's voice rang out from the speakers. Even though she was just commentating, the four men could visualize in their minds eyes the busty, beautiful blond who hosted their show. The show they had loved ever since the first season and here they were in the second.

"The five girls were flown directly to Iwagakure and were excited at seeing their new home."

Sasori hastened to turn off the lights as Itachi turned on the auxiliary sound full blast. Kisame, being the tallest, was lying on his stomach on the ground in front of the television. He was clutching a pillow to his chest in anticipation. Deidara was sprawled out on the couch, taking up a good ¾ of it. Itachi returned to his spot, sitting neatly in the ¼ of the couch he was allowed. Sasori finally lithely navigated through the armchairs and side tables before leaning his back up against the very middle of the front of the couch.

On the screen, there was a shot of five girls running around their new lodgings, claiming beds and whatnot. They all had their favorites, and Deidara secretly wooted when his girl managed to slip past a squabbling pair to get a bed before they realized it.

"I'm glad Kin got booted…" Kisame muttered, watching his personal favorite set up shop next to Deidara's chick.

"Can you believe she actually had the nerve to cut Sakura's hair?" Sasori asked incredulously, dropping his usual low toned, cruel act as he always did when the show came on. "Good thing they managed to recover her look… I like the short."

Itachi snorted, causing the other three to cast him an annoyed glance. "Short hair or no, she's not going to win this."

Angry at the insult to his girl, Sasori shot his associate a glare before turning to face the television once more.

"Tempers flared as Sakura found a new enemy in Karin. Meanwhile, the challenge was to impress without make-up or flashy clothes with the winner being Hinata. Using her innocent charm and natural beauty, Hinata won an advertisement shoot and chose Temari to come with her. That left Sakura, Karin and Kin in the house."

The clip showed Hinata and Temari getting dressed and laughing together. The final picture ended up being a cute shot with the pair of them looking rather badass. (i283./albums/kk303/Lila-belle/FoxSaysDeerSaysbydarkgal6.jpg)

"At the photo shoot, Sakura lost points with the photographers for complaining about her new short hair. Temari ended up taking the best pictures, which astounded the judges, shattering the assumption that she could only take bad-girl pictures. In the end, Kin was asked to leave."

There was a shot of Kin's back as she walked down the isle to the back after hugging all the girls, her long dark hair swinging. Sakura was crying, but Kin was above tears, just wanting to get out with dignity.

"Four remain. Who will become Konoha's Next Top Model? Will it be Sakura, the feisty pinkette that never ceases to amaze?" Sasori's face brightened, although his muddy brown eyes stayed fixed on the screen.

"Temari, the incredibly talented tomboy known for her attention-grabbing personality on and off the camera?" Both Itachi and Kisame smirked, throwing a glance at each other. She was both of their favorites.

"Karin, the strong-willed competitor with a lot of talk, but the walk to back it up?" All four of them expressed different signs of dislike. Sure she was pretty, but just a complete bitch. She took over Kin's vacated role as the ice queen.

"Or Hinata, the demure and quickly improving natural talent?" Deidara threw his arms up in the air and cheered for his girl.

The quadrangle of men did not really know why they liked the girls they did. It was something they couldn't describe, similar to liking a flavor of ice cream. You just liked it, without a verifiable reason.

"On this episode of Konoha's Next Top Model, we're going to have a recount of everything that has happened up until now."

"WHAT? Not fair!" Kisame cried, shooting up into a sitting position. His friends behind him all shouted incoherent things about him lying down so as not to obstruct their view. "That's bullshit! I hate it when shows do this! They should tell you beforehand"

"Yeah, now that you mention that, they failed to have a 'Scenes from the next…'" Itachi mumbled, running a hand through his dark bangs.

Despite their pissy attitudes, the four Akatsuki members settled in for an hour of seeing beautiful girls pose and strut their stuff.

One Week Later:

"Alright, yeah, let's do this! Hinata-chan all the way!" Deidara chanted, gaining a look of annoyance from his three compatriots. They were in the Akatsuki living room again, loaded with a bowl of popcorn each. Their spots were exactly the same; only Deidara now had a blanket that he shared with Itachi.

"You wanna be on top?"

Kisame threw a couple pieces of popcorn in the air as the intro song started playing.

"Okay, predictions." Itachi muttered, looking around the group. His eyes lingered last on Kisame, lying on the floor. "Who's going to leave? I vote Karin."

"Karin,"

"Karin,"

"I say Sakura, yeah."

All three men turned to face their resident blond with varying expressions of shock, but none more so than Sasori. "Well, then I change my vote to Hinata!"

He always got defensive when his girl was attacked.

Deidara uttered a high note of indignation. "Hey! You don't need to be mean like that. I mean, logically Sakura has the highest chance of leaving, seeing as she was in the bottom two last time. So chill the fuck out and take back what you said about Hinata-chan, yeah!"

As the two art lovers bickered, Kisame and Itachi just shrugged at each other, glad it wasn't Temari-chan who was the topic of the fight.

"Oi… Oi! Shut your fucking mouths!" Kisame bellowed, not able to take any more. "It's about to start! If I hear one more word, I'm going Samehada on both your asses, got it?"

That silenced the partners. Although the pair of them was more than a match for the sword-wielding giant, they both knew he was right. Itachi simply shook his head and instead let his gaze fall intently on Temari, his crush.

Meanwhile, in Iwagakure…

Temari opened her eyes slowly, blurrily taking in her surroundings. I only got four hours of sleep? God fucking damn it!

Hinata fared the same as Temari. The night before, Karin and Sakura had gotten into a hell-raising fight that lasted way too long. Despite Hinata muffling the sounds out with a pillow and Temari's clever utilization of cotton swabs as earplugs, the two of them could not get to sleep.

Being the kind of girl that once she was awake, she was up, Temari rolled out of bed groggily, kicking off the down blankets and stretching her arms and legs. She glanced over and saw Hinata curled up in a ball in the bed besides her, clutching the pillow originally used to block out sound to her chest.

Over the course of the competition, Hinata and Temari had bonded in more ways than one. The first being that neither of them sought conflict, preferring to stay out and unharmed. That tendency had caused them to be unfairly labeled 'the quiet ones'.

Another thing was their status in the game. Hinata was shy and prude and Temari was a tomboy, both radically different from the blatantly sexy, frilly, outgoing model stereotype that Sakura and Karin both fit into like a glove.

So, the girls found a sort of solace in each other that was important in a game of this magnitude. It wasn't as though they trusted each other; it was more like they were allies.

Temari walked over to her friend/ally and shook her awake, grinning as Hinata mumbled and brought the blankets over her head.

"Oi, I'm making smoothies and pancakes, come if you want some… I'm not telling them about it either." Temari whispered, a little smirk growing over her sharp features. She tilted her head in the direction of the two noisy girls who were sound asleep for now.

Slightly muffled under the blanket, Hinata laughed her little laugh. "That's cruel, Temari-chan…"

"Serves them right for keeping us awake…"

Impulsively, Hinata tore the covers off her face, revealing her hair tangled everywhere hair could be. "Ah, b-but you can't cook!"

That was rather common knowledge after the fateful creation of the vat of toxic waste in week four.

Temari grinned sadistically, shrugging. "You could help…"

Already getting out of bed, Hinata ran a pale hand through her explosion of hair, stymieing the blond as the dark locks immediately righted herself into the perfect position.

It was a secret Hinata would take to the grave: fixing your hair with one run-through of the hand.

The pancakes ended up being delicious with the "help" of Hinata and her culinary expertise. Unluckily for Karin and Sakura, Temari didn't give a rats ass about how they would feel about being denied breakfast.

That's the thing about modeling. It's a dog-eat-dog world where only the most devious and tough survive. It was a good thing that Hinata had Temari, because she lacked the crazy ambition that seemed to course through her competitor/sometimes friends' veins.

The Hyuga's story was different from the other three. She had not signed up at the open-call that was at the mall near her, she had been shopping with what looked like her cousin (a very girly looking male) and Tsunade herself had spotted her. Something about the milky eyes just drew people in.

Suffice to say, Tsunade and her elite photographer Kakashi left the lines temporarily (they were just there for show anyway, not needing to actually do the choosing) and chased Hinata and her cousin Neji all around the rather large mall, finally cornering her as she came out of the bathroom.

Through much pleading, Hinata agreed to come to the next round of selections, though happily with the assurance that she would get at least to the bottom twenty.

When she made the bottom ten, it was honestly a surprise to her. A personal favorite of Kakashi's, Hinata began to muscle her way through the ranks with her quiet charm and innocence. Although beautiful naturally and in normal clothes, she found it rather difficult to take a good picture when she had to be revealing and/or sexy. In the end, her greatest strength is her greatest weakness: purity.

Kakashi had only taken shots of the girls once, and luckily for Hinata, the challenge was to portray a Disney or fairytale princess. She got Snow White, and had no trouble portraying 'The Fairest of them All'.

The whole entire panel had loved her shyness in depicting the princess; making her the first one to get their picture presented to them that week.

There were five judges that chose the fate of the models. The leader was Tsunade, the ex-supermodel who decided to pass her expertise onto the younger generation. On her right was Jiraiya, the old, perverted but nonetheless fantastic runway coach who sometimes (sometimes meaning a great majority of the time) hung around at the photo shoots, giving suggestions.

On Jiraiya's right sat Kurenai, a famous mega-supermodel who helped make the modeling world what it is today (she was the nice one, rather like Paula Abdul in American Idol). To Tsunade's left was Kakashi, and to his left sat the guest judge, someone from the challenge or the photo shoot.

Fate had obviously smiled down upon Hinata and Temari, because it seemed as though the judges liked them. It wasn't like they were preferred; it was more that the judges seemed to be rooting for them, for the underdogs.

Being the underdog was sometimes the best position to be in, anyway.

Sakura opened one emerald eye and was met by none other than the flaming red orbs of that bitch. Startled, the pinkette shot up quickly, successfully head butting Karin straight to the forehead. The force of the hit sent the redhead to the floor where she lay with her legs sprawled, clutching her head in pain.

"What the hell were you doing staring over me like that?" Sakura asked angrily, wringing the hem of the blanket in her hands as if to do something to stop herself from strangling the other girl.

From the carpet, Karin shot her a glare. "I just wanted to tell you that Temari-kun and Hinata-hime made breakfast without us! Thought you might want to know that…"

Cruel Karin, liking to use stupid suffixes, always referred to Temari as a boy and Hinata as a princess, quite unfairly mind you.

"Why would I care?" Sakura shot, running a hand through her new, short hair. "What're trying to do, make me mad at them?"

"Don't go bitch on me! I was trying to do you a favor, you know that thing that people do for each other sometimes to show kindness."

Sakura was starting to get angry for a reason other than having been stared awake. Karin was just being a bitch and trying to pit them against each other. "Bullshit! Like you would be genuinely concerned about my hunger…"

Karin, now standing, just scoffed at her and proceeded to storm out of the area, throwing back her hair like any true-blue diva would do in the situation. It took Sakura a few moments to cool off, in which time she heard a little scuffle in the entryway that Karin had not walked through.

To the still-in-bed Sakura, Hinata was just too damn cute, carrying a little tray with a plate of pancakes and a smoothie. The bluenette looked around warily, watching for both Temari and Karin who would show varying displays of anger at what she was doing.

"Sakura-san… I made extras for you." Hinata muttered, setting the tray by Sakura's side and bowing slightly.

"Wow, thank you Hinata! I can't believe that you made these for me." She muttered, throwing the Hinata a true smile.

"No problem," she muttered, taking a seat on the edge of the bed and again casting a nervous glance at the surroundings. "You're my friend… I… I'd hate to see you starve."

Hey, no one said that Temari was Hinata's only friend. To be perfectly honest, the shy girl was kind to everyone she met, with the exception of Karin. To some, this trusting behavior was bad in a business such as this, but she had survived to the top four, right?

"See, Hina-chan is amazing! She's the only one nice enough to do that, yeah!" Deidara chirped, stuffing a mouthful of popcorn into the mouth on his face. The ones on his hands licked the salty, buttered snack lightly, though never actually ate it. What was he going to make, popcorn bombs?

Although, that may be a pretty good assassination method: make explosive popcorn, feed to doomed person, explode their stomach or jaw off. He made a mental note to apply that strategy to something at least once before he died.

"She won't win!" Sasori muttered angrily, though glad on the inside that Hinata had shown such kindness to his girl. "She'll just get completely walked-over in this business! We can't have a push-over be Konoha's Next Top Model!"

At the attack on Deidara's girl, Itachi and Kisame braced themselves for the coming storm. The show had flashed to a commercial break, so no death threats for silence could seriously be made.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'PUSH-OVER'? Hinata's obviously got it in her to completely model the shit out of the other girls! And plus, she's obviously the prettiest…"

"What I'm saying is that she's too innocent for this!"

"Well, maybe they're looking for something new this season, yeah that's it! They'll pick her because she's like a breath of fresh air from all the bitchy, arrogant… bitches that clog up the agencies!"

Ever since the first season of KNTM, and now nearing the end of the second, the four gang members found themselves with an inexplicable knowledge of the inner workings of the modeling agency. They were honestly experts in the whole scene, and were prone to shouting at the television when a girl made a stupid mistake.

Four of the ten members of the most powerful and terrifying organization in the world, watching Konoha's Next Top Model together like a quartet of little girls having a sleepover... if Pein-sama knew, there would be a shit storm.

As soon as the show came back on, Kisame shouted a very colorful phrase involving 'shredding', 'drowning' and 'asses'. It shut up the bickering partners, who both stubbornly crossed their arms in front of the chests and huffed, looking in different directions for a minute before returning their gazes to their show.

Jiraiya stood in front of the four remaining girls, eyeing each of them in turn. His gaze lingered the longest on Karin, who was on the end. Such diverse girls… one blushes at getting looked at, one could probably kick my ass in a fight, one with impossibly naturally pink hair and a personality to match, and one bespectacled flirt.

They were all in the studio of their next photo shoot, with the girls looking around to try to deviate the theme this week.

"Good morning girls." Jiraiya cooed, clapping his hands together devilishly.

The foursome of models greeted him back, making him smile. "Let me introduce you to your photographer this week. The notorious, the elusive, the handsome Hatake Kakashi!"

Their silver-headed judge walked out of a door to their left, bowing his head to the girls. Sakura and Karin cheered, Temari waved, and Hinata just smiled shyly, each motion mimicking the owner's personality.

Kakashi cleared his throat lightly. "Ahem. I'm looking forward to working with all of you. This will be as good a chance as any to show your diligence to a judge."

The friendly Jiraiya, draping his arm over Kakashi's shoulder lightly, smiled his rough grin. "I bet you ladies want to know what kind of pictures you'll be taking today."

There was a murmur of assent through the girls. For the first time, the judges noticed that they had four different styles and colors of hair on their girls. One dark blue and long, one blond and in four ponytails, one short and bubblegum pink, and one flaming red and artily layered. Diverse indeed.

"Today we will be focusing on that enigma, the mystery that is love." Jiraiya started, looking over at his girls with a smile on his face. "Each of you has to portray a different kind of love, and will be judged on how accurately you can display it."

Walking forward more, so that he was more in the spotlight, Jiraiya put his hands on his hips and looked first at Karin, on the end. "Karin-chan, you will be tough love." His gaze flickered over to Sakura, who was next to the redhead. "Sakura-chan, you have innocent love."

Sakura nodded at what she had been assigned, a little peeved at getting the meek one. Hinata would excel at that, not her! She wanted something a little more sultry.

"Temari-chan, you are hidden love."

Temari smirked, knowing a little more than she should about that particular side of love.

"And last but certainly not least, Hinata-chan gets true love."

Hinata bowed her head politely; at least glad she didn't have anything too scandalous.

"But," Kakashi butted in, walking up to be level with his co-judge. "You will not be alone in this picture."

On cue, four men walked in and stood in a line, each obviously different in way other than looks. Kakashi continued, smiling brightly at how the girl's eyes just flicked to the men and were not leaving. "Starting from the left we have Sasuke, Shikamaru, Sai and Suigetsu."

Laughing out loud, Temari leaned into Hinata, whispering something in her ear. "They all start with 'S'!"

There was a short gasp as someone (probably Deidara) paused the show. His move immediately started an avalanche of yelling from Sasori and Kisame.

"Yeah, yeah, shut up!" He barked, holding the remote away from Kisame who lunged to grab it. "I--hey stop biting! I think—STOP—that's it, KATSU!"

The clay bird that Deidara had made during the commercial break detonated after flying at Kisame's head. It worked; the blue-skinned man had now stopped fighting for the remote. But as the smoke cleared, the clay user now had a pissed off Akatsuki member on his hands.

"Ahh! Okay, before you kill me, isn't that Itachi's little brother?" Deidara said quickly, screaming a girly yell when Kisame reached for his Samehada, very conveniently placed right next to its owner.

Sasori and Kisame turned their heads so quickly their necks cricked. The former let out a chuckle. "Yeah, it is. You two look so alike don't you Itachi-niisan?"

Itachi merely glared at his partner. "I look nothing like that girl. Have you seen his face? Hold him next to a picture of our mother and the resemblance is uncanny."

"You're one to talk, Mr. 'I brush my hair every morning and every night'…" Deidara muttered, sticking his tongue out at the Sharingan user.

"Children, please…" Sasori interjected, pulling the remote out of Deidara's weakened grasp with a chakra string. "Be civil. We want to see who gets what boy, right?"

"We have assigned you to a guy based on visual compatibility." Kakashi muttered, extending his arm out to the men. "Karin and Suigetsu, Sakura and Sai, Temari and Shikamaru, and Hinata and Sasuke."

"Yosh! Now head over to make-up and wardrobe, the first up will be Temari!" Jiraiya called before walking away with Kakashi.

Sai doesn't seem so bad… Sakura thought, matching his light smile with one of her own.

Oh my god, did he just yawn? Figures that I would get the lazy one… Temari thought upon seeing her man put his hand over his mouth in an obvious yawn.

He certainly is very handsome. Hinata blushed when Sasuke looked at her, displaying a look that was in0between a smile and a frown, but closer to the latter. But he's a little, eh, angry.

What the fuck? I get the ugliest one! I want Hinata's boy, he's one hunk of hot! Karin jealously thought, stealing a glance at Suigetsu. He wasn't bad looking at all, she just wanted to complain. At least I'll have no trouble at all portraying tough love…

A commercial break happened, right then, causing the four Akatsuki members, groan and yell.

"They would fucking cut to commercials! Fucking T.V!" Kisame moaned, flipping himself over so he was on his back facing the ceiling.

The blond nodded in approval. "Yeah, I hate it when something is just getting good and then it just stops."

...

Aha, there we go! Hope you liked, because I thought it was fun to write. Just a carefree little diddy that I felt i wanted to write about. Personally, I don't even watch the show, let alone tv in general (anime on computer doesn't count!). So, don't bite my head off if something is wrong about the whole show part. I watched the first couple of seasons, so I at least know what I'm doing... more or less.

Sorry folks, no 'scenes from the next episode' this time considering I haven't written it yet...

So, review, review, review! Either that or just read again, if that's what tickles your fancy.