Disclaimer: This is a fan-fiction of Stephenie Meyer's book "Twilight" and I do not take any credit for the creation of any of the characters.

(The story takes place in New Moon right after Edward leaves Bella, its obviously a "what-if" scenario.)

Chapter 1: Pain

It's been exactly two decades. 20 years since I last saw him. My heart twisted in agony whenever I thought of him. His face never left my mind even though he hurt me so badly. Just thinking of him shattered my heart. It pained me to think of his dazzling smile, his beautiful shining eyes...

I shook my head to clear my mind. No more painful memories. No more Edward.

He had left me. He no longer loved me; he didn't "want me". But he didn't know that it nearly killed me. Victoria had come a month after he left. She killed Charlie first, tormenting me with the image as Charlie called out, "Bella... please..." I had hopelessly flung myself in front of her but she tossed me aside like I weighed nothing. Then she came for me, planning to finish me off, the pain immediately started as her teeth – coated with venom – touched my skin.

I'm not sure why she didn't just kill me. But I vaguely remember her saying that this was a more through way of torturing Edward. She knew that he would rather visit the Volturi then even consider the idea of me becoming like him – a vampire.

The pain was unbearable, worse than anything I had ever thought possible. Edward's description did not do it justice, for this was the single most painful experience I had ever gone through – physically that is.

What I am going through now is so much worse. It cannot even be compared to the change. What I experienced that night is infinitesimally small compared to the pain that Edward has planted inside of me – the pain that grows bigger with each passing day.

The first couple of days after the change were the most unbearable, the most torturous. The thirst consumed me; it was in every part of my body. I had never thought that I would actually crave blood and be driven nearly insane by lust for it. But I was, and it was impossible to overcome.

My hunger was always there, it was like a shadow, following me everywhere I went. I stuck to the Cullen's "vegetarian" ways, but it was not an easy task. Several times I had very nearly strayed from the diet. But each time I reminded myself that I didn't want to be a monster.

My lust for blood was not the only thing that had changed; my physical appearance had also been altered. I still looked like myself, like Bella, but everything was sharper and stunningly beautiful. I never thought that I could be considered "beautiful" but I guess it just comes with being a vampire.

My life – as a vampire – has been excruciatingly lonely. I have no family, no friends, nobody to talk to. I hoped that the pain – the pain that's been with me every second of my life since he left – would eventually subside. But it was a vain hope. I knew that it would never go away; it would never lessen or become bearable. It was like I was swimming in a never ending abyss of pain.

I was eventually able to control the hunger. After I found some control, I discovered that 'control' was actually my talent; my power. After a hunting trip, in which I caught a bear and a mountain lion, I realized that I was able to control minds.

I had just spotted a grizzly bear – which are one of my favorites – and was getting myself ready to pounce, when I sensed it. A presence. A vampire for that matter – apparently I had crossed into their hunting territory. As soon as I realized this, I started to backtrack and began to think Just leave, I don't want to fight…. And it seemed, as soon as I thought it, that the nearing vampire turned around and stalked out of the forest.

At first, I didn't think anything of it. But eventually I realized that it wasn't normal. No vampire would just leave without a confrontation. No, that was ludicrous. So I eventually came to the conclusion that it was me – that I did it. At first it sounded crazy – I mean come on, being able to control minds? But then I started testing it on humans, animals, you name it. And I slowly began to realize that it was true. I could control minds.

My talent had become very useful over the past 20 years, when some overly observant human would begin to ask questions about me. This happened now and then. But thankfully I was able to manipulate their minds into making them think that I was normal and they were just being dramatic.

Up until now, I have been moving around from place to place. I have, finally, traveled the world: Moulin, Paris, Australia… everywhere. I have never stayed in one place for over 2 years. It's too painful. It just reminds me of Edward and the rest of his family. Sometimes I wonder about how he is, but I try my hardest not to think about him that much – although it is nearly impossible – it just leads to too much pain.

I recently decided that I wanted to go to school. I have no clue why, but I think I just wanted to belong somewhere, to feel like I matter to someone – anyone. So I registered as a junior at McKay High School, just outside of Salem, Oregon where I have been living for the past three months.

Today should be interesting… I silently thought to myself as I got ready for my "first" day of high school. I had been arguing with my self all night – seeing as I am obviously physically unable to sleep – whether of not school is good idea. But in the end I told myself that if it doesn't work out that I could just move somewhere else and forget about school. Maybe a secluded island off the coast of Jamaica…?

As I debated this I ran – at vampire speed – to my car, an Aston Martin. Like the Cullen's (cringing as I think the name), I like to drive fast.

I got to the school in less then five minutes – a normally 25 minute drive– due to my insanely fast driving. As I walked away from my car towards the office, I realized that everyone was staring at me. I was instantly alert. Why? Do they know I'm a vampire? How!? I unnecessarily breathed in a huge lungful of air. That's when it hit me. Of course! In their eyes I was beautiful. I then realized that I should be used to this by now, and I mentally scolded myself for overreacting.

Just then a gust of wind blew my hair. That's when I smelt it. The sweet, undeniably mouth watering scent that I had dreamt about for the past 20 years. Edward. I whipped my head around and searched the crowd for the only man I have ever loved. It was then that I spotted him, standing by his car, surrounded by his siblings, and looking more godlike then ever. I could only think one name. Edward…


A/N: I had so much fun writing this!! I am so looking forward to writing more chapters. Please, please, PLEASE, tell me what you think! Good, bad… etc. Constructive criticism is always good!