YO! Sakura ten'nyo here with a cool little oneshot! Please don't flame!
I don't own Naruto.
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Interview with a Sannin
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Dedicated to my friend, Artsysmiles
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Kakashi had a mission. A dangerous mission. A mission that could only be described as the most dangerous mission in the history of the universe. More dangerous than a fight with Itachi. Than a Naruto around ramen. Than a Sasuke around Itachi. Than a Jiraiya around young and pretty women. Even more dangerous than an angry Hinata.
He had to interview the three Legendary Sannins.
And their prodigies.
Kakashi gulped as his hand gripped the metal doorknob where the six ninjas sat. He twisted it open and prepared for Hell.
Sakura and Tsunade sat over in a corner of the room, a bottle of sake in each of their fair hands. They were whispering in hushed tones, and Tsunade seemed to be making violent hand motions with her fist; Sakura was nodding in approval.
Next his one eye moved over to Jiraiya and Naruto. The pair was staring in the kunoichis' direction, goofy smiles placed on both of their faces. Kakashi also happened to notice bruises on the sannin's jaw, and scrapes on Naruto's cheek.
Finally he looked at the two traitors. Orochimaru, hair as long and greasy as ever, and Sasuke, hair as chicken butt-like and spiky as ever. They were a different story. Sasuke seemed to be edging closer and closer to the door that Kakashi had just entered in from, and Orochimaru seemed to be intent on cornering the poor boy.
"Ahem," coughed the masked man.
Six different kunai whizzed past his body in a self-defense act. Good thing Hatake Kakashi was an ex-ANBU.
"I'm sure you're all wondering why I called you here," he began.
"Yeah!" roared the slightly tipsy kunoichis.
"Well, some of us-everyone-has come to wonder, what makes you six guys so special? Do you really like your mentors? Who's your favorite prodigy? And, due to an enormous amount of yen, I decided to interview you six."
Kakashi smiled smugly at the stunned faces of everyone in the room.
"Well, let's begin. Jiriaya-sama, Hokage-sama, and Orochimaru-san, please step out of the room while I talk to my pupils," he said.
"Whatever," grumbled Tsunade.
"The girl's mine," giggled Jiraiya.
"Sssasssuke, I'll be waiting," hinted Orochimaru.
"I'm willing to stay forever," stated Sasuke, a disturbed look on his handsome face.
"Right. Anyway, kids, who's your favorite sannin? Sasuke, you first," said Kakashi.
"Orochimaru...when he's not hitting on me."
"Sakura?"
"Definitely Tsunade-shishou."
"Predictable."
"Pervy Sage. He's taught me so much!"
"Same here, Naruto. Now, if you couldn't train with your favorite sannin, who would you choose?" he asked, waiting to here a chorus of 'Kakashi!' "Sasuke, you may start.
"No one. I work alone."
"Thought so." On the inside he's sobbing. "Sakura?"
"Orochimaru."
"...Why?" her ex-sensei asked in disbelief.
"He can conjure up snakes. No offense to Tsunade-shishou or anything, but slugs are kinda creepy."
"...Naruto?"
"Tsunade-baa-chan."
"...Why?" Kakashi asked. "Why her? Wouldn't you want to train with Sasuke, your rival?" Or me, he added silently.
"NO! I don't want to train with that teme. Also, I've seen her scare people. I could be scary. ...And she's hokage."
Kakashi placed his hand over his eye, wondering how it is that his students are considered famous. I thought I taught them life skills, not 'because they're cooler!' skills!
"Ok. Let's bring the sannin back now," he mumbled dejectedly.
Tsunade, Orochimaru, and Jiraiya filed in, one behind the other. Each person sat beside their apprentice, and prepared for the interview questions to begin. Again.
"We'll work in the same order: Sasuke/Orochimaru, Sakura/Tsunade, and Naruto/Jiraiya. Let's begin," said Kakashi. "Orochimaru, who is your favorite Team 7 member?" Sasuke, no doubt.
"Sasuke."
"Figures. Tsunade?"
"Sakura."
"Of course. Jiraiya?"
"Sakura."
"What the hell? Pervy Sage!"
"Sorry kid. She's kinda gotten hot."
"Expected. But very creepy," muttered Kakashi as he shuddered. "Orochimaru, why did you betray the village?"
"I wasn't strong enough."
"And that's why he's my mentor!"
"...Sure. Tsunade, why did you become intersected in medicine?"
"To save people close to me."
"Really? I did it to secretly kill people."
"...I knew you were my apprentice!" squealed the busty blonde as she and Sakura hugged.
"...Jiraiya, who is your favorite student? Me, Minato, or Naruto?"
"Minato and Naruto."
"Pervy Sage, I suddenly respect you."
"And I suddenly worship Orochimaru. What's so great about you guys anyway? It's all 'Sasuke, Sakura, Naruto!' and "Jiraiya, Tsunade, and Orochimaru!' Where's the Kakashi love?!" cried Kakashi. Sakura, always the comforting girl, gave her ex-sensei a hug.
"It's ok, Kakashi-sensei. You have one other 'member'," she said. Kakashi looked up hopefully.
"Who?"
"Sai."
"Hey there, dickless."
And that concludes Kakashi's dangerous mission!
Kinda lame, I know. But anyway, please review! And flames are welcome for my oneshots! You know what? I think my friend Artsysmiles is alot like Tsunade and Sakura. Minus Sakura's fangirl stage. And you might want to know that that is not a good thing. Anyway, review!