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harvester of hearts
by: pixie paramount (2/24/2008, 9:57 PM)
Kingdom Hearts, Kairi/Sora/Riku & my heart is yours

The shadows still dance, flicker about like flames, even after their adventures where paused, halted, for the bottle with the king's seal made it clear: their duty never will be over.

And at night, Kairi something lays in the dark, her blankets abandoned and staring into the night, watching the shadows dance and sway. Daring them to come back to life and end the peace.

She can see the guilt in how self-destructive and withdrawn he's become, how cold and guarded he is. How he can't look at either them in the eye for long.

Sometimes she makes that silly, child-hood necklace from before, when they where young and naïve and the shadows devoured their world. She finds herself wishing that his soul was like these shells in her hands, like the necklace she laces together and wraps around their necks when they aren't watching.

She wishes she could fix him, now, as easily as the shells in her hands are worked and strung together on string.

But she knows, deep in her heart, which will never be the case: it will be a long, hard road but well worth it because, maybe, she'll see him smile like he used to. See his eyes brighten and come alive.

(She feels like all she's done until now is wish, no matter what Naminé might tell her differently. You've helped him—you've helped them both—more than you think, she'll say. Kairi doesn't believe her, though.)

Riku, ever haunted, sometimes pushes them away; he refuses to admit that they don't hate him for what he's done, that they forgive him for what he's done.

(She's caught him walking along the shore, staring up at the sky, the moon, as if daring it to change its familiar shape and form into the crude structure of a heart. It never does.)

Sometimes she wishes the worlds still didn't need them. Sometimes she wishes they would all just disappear, fade away in the darkness, just so she could keep the two of them to herself, for always.

But Sora loves everyone, thrives on the happiness of the people he meets, and she knows that Sora would be heartbroken, sad and distraught, that he wouldn't be him if her dreams—her secret, secret fantasies that she'll never, ever, say out loud—will never come true.

And Kairi knows that their happiness—the happiness of Sora and Riku—are her happiness, and she can not see herself ever really living without her boys.