Late at night I've been thinking to myself more and more about how I became to be Nobody. I have been contemplating and trying to remember just how I came to lose my heart and join this group of other heartless people which our leader proudly called us; Organization XIII.

I sat up in my bed coming to the same conclusion as I had been for the past few weeks. I just simply couldn't remember my life when I did have a heart. It was as if I merely woken up one day and everyone around me knew me forever and I just had been sleeping my very existence away till that very moment. As if I had awaken without a heart and thus, never even had one to start with.

Narrowing my eyes I looked off towards my closed door and glared at it as if it were its fault for me being this way. Why couldn't I remember my past? No one else could give me a straight answer to that as well when I had asked them. That or they simply told me to shut up and accept what I was but that just wasn't good enough for me.

"I am a Nobody," I muttered lowly, almost loathing under my breath. "They all say I have no real heart and so… I can feel nothing…" I then moved my hands out in front of myself and looked down at them. A pair of black gloves hides my skin away from the world around me.

"Then why do I feel like I'm missing something very important to me… To my existence?" Wrapping a few fingers around the top of my left glove I pulled the snug fitting article of clothing free from my hand and then promptly dropped it onto my lap.

"I feel pain when I get hit by something," like Sora's keyblade for example. "I can't possibly imagine that, now can I?" I was half hoping that I would get an answer to my proposed question but that was foolish of me. There was no one else in the same room as me, of course there would be no reply unless if I myself made one.

Flexing my fingers, I watched the digits curl then uncurl in unison. Is my only reason for existence to serve Xemnas and those above myself in rank? If that was the case then was my own 'power' in this flawed ranking system to be higher up then just four other members?

There was a soft knocking just outside the door which caused me to cram my bare hand into my jacket as if showing any bit of flesh besides our faces would contaminate the world around us if another were to see it.

"The Superior has ordered everyone to the meeting room to discus on just how close we are to retrieving our hearts."
"But, we already have our hearts!" I protested with a grin to my face.

"Can it, IX. You know as well as I do that we have no such thing, that's why we're in this organization no come on…" I mentally cringed at each word that escaped Zexion's lips. Just because he was indeed one of the Original Six didn't mean he couldn't have at least acted nicer about the not having a heart issue.

I sighed as he urged me to hurry up once more and lifted myself from the bed and moved closer to him, slipping my glove back onto my naked hand in the process. I knew it was Zexion even though he wore his hood up to cover his face. His height and voice were a dead give away along with his precious lexicon he always had on him…

Closing the door behind myself, we wondered further into the white labyrinth of a hallway system on our way to the main room where we would then portal to the meeting room. Why we all wondered to this particular room and then portaled inside of doing so directly, I'd never understand but perhaps this would be a good time to ask my little superior by rank a few questions.

"Zexy, why do you think we don't have hearts?" I knew we didn't but keeping up this act of saying we did gave me some slack in missions but added more to my chores but that wasn't so bad. It was better then being attacked and having to fight for something one never wanted to fight for in the first place.

He sighed and muttered something along the lines of 'Be quiet'.

"Okay…" I replied and we continued even further down the hall and made a turn in dead silence till I knew I needed to act how it was expected of me. To be annoying and perhaps even a little hyper and clueless compared to the high-strung others but we had arrived to our destination sooner then I expected.

Zexion sighed in relief. Most likely thankful that I was going to be quiet because of the meeting we were about to enter… If only he could realize that being thankful was an emotion all along… But as for myself, I wasn't thankful at all, I was actually kind of… I don't know… There was that nothingness inside me again.

Closing my eyes, I felt the darkness surround me and choke out the artificial light around us. The thick cloak of dark purple-blue and black swirls seemed to devour every last trace of air around us only to spit us out in our proper seating arrangements and allow the cold air back into my lungs.

"Ah, how good of you to finally join us number IX…" Xemnas, our leader, purred in his low and seductive tone of voice. "I'm glad VI found you," his mockery of the 'G-word' made me want to vomit but I simply put on an embarrassed façade and rubbed the back of my head.

"Yeah, we were just on the topic of how we DON'T have hearts," the man in the seat next to mine sneered with a proud smirk to his face. Axel, that bastard has been harassing me about my act recently when he realized it could make the others laugh. Not at him but at me… Just like they were all doing now.

I made the effort to sink back into my chair and act like I was listening to their snide comments only to see that very few of the members weren't in on the game. Larxene giggled a little but other then that never said anything on the subject. Roxas was simply looking bored out of his mind and then there was Marluxia. Marluxia never said a single word or even acted like he was in on the others fun. Instead he produced a flower from thin air and sniffed in its fragrance.

Why hadn't I noticed this before? Hell, even Luxord was somewhat distracting himself by his cards but that was always something I had seen. Had I always overlooked the others beneath me and assumed they were on the same mind set as those above me?

"I think that's quite enough. Laughing at someone else expense will not get our goal done any faster." The rose wielding member replied before making the pink flower disappear from his grasp.

Xemnas agreed and soon the topic was changed back onto the goal of retrieving our hearts. Seemed we were no closer then we had always been but then again, I wasn't paying much attention to the superior's ranting. I was still enthralled with my past thoughts of and now that was mixed with wonderment of the members beneath me, especially in Larxene and Marluxia…

Again there was more babbling from the others but I decided to keep quiet and let my mind mull over all the questions running around in my head. lost in thought and wonderment...

Not long after the meeting was done and over with, I found myself for the first time in a long time, wanting to have a real conversation with on of the other members. However, just like all the other meetings, they were quickly vanishing off to do their own thing or complete a mission that needed to be done.

"See you around kid," Xigbar motioned in my direction before leaving and I waved to him a little like I had always done when he noticed my presence. Now just were where those two?

I looked to the empty seat around me and noticed just that, no one was here but myself. Even Roxas had scuttled away fairly quickly.

Lowing back into my white and overly large seat, I was about to sigh but stopped myself at the soft sound of mild whispering. Coming from, coming from below me? I grabbed onto the edge of my chair and pulled myself just over the armrest and squinted down to see two figures down below on the floor.

That was indeed very odd. No one ever really went to the floor of this room. Heck, I had forgotten that there even was one let alone that there was the giant symbol of our Organization printed upon it.

"So the plan is still ago?" a feminine voice inquired. Hey, that could only belong to Larxene! Wait, what plan?

"Shhh… Keep your voice down. For all we know, Xigbar could pop out at any moment but yes." Okay… Larxene was down there but with who?

I leaned further over the edge to try to get a better place to eavesdrop but lost my grip and face planted into the armrest itself. "Oww.. That hurt." Rubbing the front of my face I suddenly froze realizing the mistake I had made.

"Did you hear that? Look, up there!" Larxene pointed up in my direction and I came into even more realization of the trouble I had accidentally placed myself in.

"I thought you said everyone was gone!" Hissed the male voice as the other jerked Larxene close to himself.

"I-I, well no one ever stuck around after a meeting before!" the female whined. I didn't catch what else was said after that before I took my leave into a portal of darkness and let it place me wherever it wished to do so only to find myself in the long white corridors I was used to seeing, even if they all looked the same.

"Oh god, oh god, oh god," I ran a gloved hand through my messy golden mullet and started to pace back and forth in the hall. "Did they see me? Well no duh!" Both hands threw themselves before me and I took a claming breath to attempt to utilize the situation.

"Perhaps they didn't see me?" Little did I realize I was talking to myself out loud as I paced. "Yes, yes, maybe they hadn't… See, I'm good… I'm cool…"

"Hm… IX, what are you doing?" Came another voice and then I knew it. I froze in place not quite brave enough to turn around just then. "You seem rather… tense acting. Catch a bit of bad news did we?" Yes, I knew it all too well. I was doomed. Utterly doomed…