I seriously love this pairing I will not rest until it gets more followers. And so, this fic.
Disclaimer: I own nothing someone else does.
For Missa, who loves her canon pairings but still supports my crack ones, simply because she's a brilliant friend, and who I love so much.

Disenchanted
First impressions matter.
Enter Kiba, stage left.

"She's the prettiest girl you will ever meet, trust me," Naruto was saying. Kiba could really care less, because really, what did Naruto know about girls?

"She's really smart, too. And she's nice. If you ever need a tutor before an exam, even if it's two in the morning, you can call her, and she'll meet you."

"Is that how you passed Psych?" Kiba asked offhandedly, pausing just long enough to check over his reflection in a store window. Tousled brown spikes of hair, brown eyes, leather jacket… He rubbed a hand over his clean-shaven jaw. If only he had some stubble…

"Come on, you girl," Naruto snapped, glancing back to find Kiba being Kiba. Read: Obsessed with himself.

"I'm as manly as it gets," Kiba said. "Don't make me prove it to you."

"Ewww."

"…I meant arm-wrestling. Get your mind out of the gutter, Naruto."

While Naruto stopped in the middle of the sidewalk to sputter and swear in lieu of a good comeback, Kiba walked ahead, smothering a grin, to the café they were meeting this mysterious girl at. He reached out to grasp the door handle—

And found himself grabbing a hand instead.

Kiba looked up, and was met with a pair of very green eyes.

Hello, gorgeous.

Years of girl-chasing experience kicked in, and Kiba took stock of her without even realizing. She had long pink hair, clipped back at the side, green eyes, and an embarrassed little smile. She was wearing a skirt and heels, but even in them her head would only brush his chin. But that was okay; he liked his girls short.

"Could I… have my hand back?"

Kiba looked down. Her French-manicured hand was still enclosed in his own, and he wasn't planning on letting go.

"No." He smiled, charisma oozing from his every pore. He scanned through his options in a heartbeat: Can I get my heart back? had good rhythm, but was cheesy. Kiba didn't do cheesy. "Can I get your name?"

The girl furrowed her eyebrows, but she answered all the same. "Sakura."

"Can I call you Sweetheart?"

Sakura flushed to the roots of her hair, yanking her hand back. "Sorry," she said stiffly, "But I'm here to meet someone." She turned away from him, shoulders tense, and Kiba spotted the textbooks under her arms. Thick, medical textbooks, of Biology and Calculus, and—

Kiba was impressed with Naruto's choice, for once.

--Psychology.

Sakura didn't look back as she disappeared inside the café, but that was okay. They'd have time later.

Speaking of… where was Naruto? Kiba looked back, sure that Naruto had been distracted by a shiny penny or something equally stupid.

But no. the moron was talking to a girl, with dark hair and pearly lavender eyes. Kiba was all set to leave Naruto to flirt with this blushing girl and go get to know (read: flirt the pants off) Sakura, but the blond turned around, smile so wide it threatened to crack his face in two, and said, "Kiba! Meet your date, Hinata!"

Well, that complicated things.

-x-

"So! You guys talk. I'll go get drinks!"

It was awkward enough being set up one a date – as if he couldn't get one on his own. It was doubly awkward being on a date with Hinata, who was pretty enough, but seemed to be perpetually blushing. She could barely lift her gaze long enough to meet his own, for God's sake!

What made an already bizarre situation even odder was the fact that Naruto was a moron, and (a) he didn't realize that when you set people up on a date, you didn't hang around with them, (b) he didn't notice Hinata's gaze darting to him every few seconds and her blush darkening every time, and (c) discovered his best friend nearby the second they walked in and greeted him both

But the most awkward of all was that said best friend was He-Who-Sakura-Was-Meeting-And-Having-Coffee-With.

Furtively, Kiba snuck a glance at the couple. The boy, Sasuke, was, even he would admit, good-looking. Not that he was really his type, but the waitresses kept giggling over him, and not Kiba. Sakura, sitting across from him, was reading idly from her textbook, making comments he couldn't hear every now and then, to which Sasuke would nod. He didn't say much, merely sipped from his coffee and read from his own textbook, as people their age were doing all around the small shop. Sakura didn't seem to mind, just smiled at him appreciatively.

He wouldn't really mind… if she at least acknowledged him.

Stupid girl.

"Hey, quit checking out Sasuke. You're on a date!"

Any other time, Kiba would snarl at Naruto that He wasn't gay, dammit and was checking out the pretty girl sitting with him, but Hinata was watching him quietly, and Kiba was nothing if not an expert on girls, so he just rolled his eyes and said, "Go get me a brownie. Want anything, Hina?" She tried to hide it, but the bashful little smile was there, from the nickname. Oh yeah. He knew his stuff.

"I'm fine, thank you."

"You sure, Hinata-chan? C'mon, we can share some cake!" Hinata paled, then blushed, and Kiba wondered how clueless Naruto could be.

"Th-thank you, but I-I'm fine, Naruto-kun."

"Okay, I'll get one for myself then! And then we can go sit with Sasuke and Sakura-chan!"

At the sound of their names, the other pair looked up, and Sakura smiled slightly at the two, before Sasuke said something to her and she laughed, turning her full attention back to him.

Well, fine. Kiba wasn't going to chase after a girl that had a boyfriend. He had some morals. Instead, he was going to give his undivided attention the girl sitting across from him, fidgeting with the strap of her purse.

"So," Kiba said, leaning forward in his seat. "You like Naruto, huh?"

Hinata dropped her purse, snapped her gaze up to his, and stammered madly. "N-n-no! Naruto-kun is a f-f-friend! I—"

Kiba cut her off. "I won't tell. So why did you agree to this date with me?"

Hinata ducked her head again, and her midnight-blue hair spilled over her shoulders. She was pretty, definitely, Kiba thought, and Naruto had had nothing but good things to say about her, even if some were probably exaggerations.

"He asked," she finally said in a small voice, and Kiba found it hard to believe that a girl would go so far as to date another boy because her crush asked her to, especially when that crush was Naruto, when—

"Kiba, meet Sasuke and Sakura."

"We've met," Sakura said, with a mild glare in Kiba's direction. She took a seat beside Hinata, squeezing her hand quickly, and Sasuke drew up a chair beside her.

"You have?" Naruto looked a bit scared, and even if he was right to, Kiba had to fight the urge to glare at him. He could have a little faith in him—

Then again, he had flirted shamelessly within ten seconds of meeting her, so maybe not.

Sakura ignored his question. "How was your Psychology exam, Naruto?"

Naruto made a vague gesture. "Eh. I mixed up Piaget and Freud."

Sasuke snorted softly, the first sound Kiba had heard from him. "How did you manage that one, dead-last?" he asked dryly.

Immediately, Naruto went into one of his temper tantrums, Sasuke responded, unruffled, and Hinata tried fruitlessly to mediate. Sakura, in the manner of someone used to such scenarios, merely pulled out a cell phone to check the time.

When she looked up, Kiba was looking at her.

"Somewhere to be?" he asked her, crumpling up the wrapper of his dessert.

She nodded slowly. "I have an interview for a job." She hesitated. "Sasuke was supposed to drop me off…"

"I think he's busy. I'll take you," Kiba told her, already pulling out his keys. Sakura looked bemused.

"Aren't you on a date? Naruto told me—"

"I have to go get my dog from the vet, anyways," Kiba cut in. glancing over at the others, he added, more loudly, "I have to go, guys. It was nice meeting you, Hinata."

"Likewise," she said in a soft voice Naruto still picked up over his own yelling.

"We'll do it again sometime, okay?" he said brightly. Hinata, at a loss for words, nodded. Kiba stifled a groan. Not that he minded Hinata, but they were really not each other's type.

But he had more pressing matters to attend to, so he'd deal with it later.

"Sasuke—"

"Don't worry about Sakura," Kiba said smoothly, cutting off the girl. Sasuke raised one eyebrow and didn't reply, so Kiba added, "She's in good hands."

Then Naruto, being overeager as always about his best friend and she-who-was-crushing-on-him, immediately pulled them both back into conversation, leaving Kiba to usher a very startled Sakura out of the café. She tried to resist, but Kiba looked into narrowed green eyes and said, very seriously:

"Are you ready for the ride of your life?"

-x-
Lesson One: Pick-up lines should be smooth, casual, almost unnoticeable.
They should be complimentary, sincere as you can get, and above all, subtle.
Girls don't fall for the clichéd crap.
-x-