For Now, a naruto fanfic

A/n: Hospital scene from a fic I'm currently working on. Yes, that one is ShisuIta as well.
Warning: Shota?, shounen-ai/BL/lightyaoi/slash/GAYSTUFF/yadayadayada. Plus some swearing.

For Now by Kiraz

Pain. That was all he felt, every fiber of his being on fire except his right arm and part of his torso, which felt like they'd been immersed in acid instead. His heartbeat had never been so loud in his ears, each beat jarring his over-ridden senses, pressure building up in his temple, taking the pain up to new heights. The remaining arm that had some feeling in it came up of its own accord, clawing at his head, doing anything, anything to take the throbbing away, he couldn't take it anymore, his head was going to explode, death would be bliss if it meant escaping this excruciating agony that racked his body.

Suddenly, a fierce light shone down on his face, seeming to burn his retinas through the skin of his eyelids, the blood vessels making him see vivid swirls of scarlet and orange, bright enough to tinge on a blinding yellow. His tears refracted the light, making it seem a thousand times brighter. His headache heightened in intensity, and he yelled, covering his eyes, seeking a temporary relief in the shadow that covered his face. His nerves were still tingling, feeling as if he was being repeatedly stabbed by white-hot needles when they were in contact with something else. The worst of it was targeted at his head and ribs. He thrashed, only dimly alert of the action, but acutely aware of the pain that resulted in it; but he couldn't help it, he had to find some way to get rid of the stabbing sensation. It wasn't until he stopped that he noticed he had been screaming all through the pain earlier, and only now when his voice was all but gone was he aware of this.

His muscles had been so tensed for so hard and so long that they spasm-ed and ached, shaking uncontrollably, but unable to loosen up. Up from his throat there issued a strange keening, and it grew until it filled up his ears. A severe pang started in his lungs, and he curled up, tasting a metallic liquid on his tongue as he accidentally bit himself in the attempt to smother the pain. Where he was, who he was, he didn't care, as long as somebody came and put an end to this torture…!

Strong arms pinned his own to his sides, and he shrieked as the skin flared up at the touch. He twisted harder, and the grip clamped down mercilessly, vice-like on his body. There was the cold point of a needle pricking him; he clearly felt the metal through his hyped-up senses. Then it slid inside and the muscles in that area flinched as it injected a liquid that felt like it was eating at his flesh. Then the point withdrew, as quickly as it came.

The effect was immediate. His senses dulled, and the immense relief that swamped his mind overwhelmed him. The agony receded somewhat, not by much, but enough so he felt the tremendous weariness settle in his body, his entire being finally forced into relaxing. Fatigue set in, seeping into his limbs and setting like concrete. Shisui gave in gladly, the black spots dancing in his vision growing, blocking out anything else until everything went dark, and he blacked out.

There was a faint murmuring somewhere, but he felt far too comfortable where he was to try and comprehend the faint words. Damn, he was so tired...He hadn't felt weariness like this in years.

"...you, but I'll stay." The whispered words and the tone of voice sounded strangely familiar, and soothing at the same time. With an effort, he managed to keep himself awake, just for the sake of hearing that voice again.

"Are you sure?" This one was female, he was positive of that. The words were hushed, and sounded as if the speaker was in the same room with a dead person. "The nurses said there's no guarantee of him waking anytime soon--"

"I want to be here when he does." The words came out a little forced, with just a hint of impatience. Still, it was the most captivating voice Shisui had ever heard, deep and calm with an underlying huskiness. Where had he heard it before? This fuzziness clouding his brain wasn't helping his memory at all...

A small sigh. Then the sound of a door opening. "Alright then. Don't forget to take care of yourself, Itachi."

"Nii-san..." A child's voice this time.

"Go on; Mother's calling." There was a click, and then they were gone. Her last word seemed to have implanted itself into his mind. Several seconds elapsed as Shisui tried to process this, his brain working slower than usual.

Why on earth did she choose to mention a weasel, of all creatures? Why not bird, or pelican, or eagle, or otter, or bear or fox or dog or cat or tiger or--

Shisui managed to grab on to his original train of thought before it went spiraling out of control. Where was he? Weasel. Small, slinky sorta animal with tiny ears. Right.

Itachi. Itachi...ee..tah...chee...

He was just bordering on frustration when finally, something clicked, and the pieces of his scattered mind began to fall together. He was Uchiha Shisui, Shisui of the Mirage, shinobi of Konoha, fifteen years of age, ANBU leader at your service. Favorite food is anything not burnt by his father and anything cooked by his grandmother. Black hair, one seventy-something centimeters tall. Loyal forever to the Uchiha clan, pretty decent-looking if he may say so himself, and willing to embark on any mission...

Mission...

The idiotic voice faded away. In its place were images of red and flashbacks of the last mission, and it all fell into place. Everything came back in a rush of information. Of the totally unexpected ambush, of chaos in the night and wild slashing and showers of crimson all around, of the whistling of kunai as they whizzed through the air on both sides, the burning he'd felt when a few hit their marks (damn them poisoned kunai), of how he was very nearly decapitated by the freakishly large shuriken that flew right by his face, how his fire jutsus briefly lit up the surrounding forest as they burnt an enemy's skin right off their face, of how he lost his grip when a crack sounded in his right arm, how he'd looked up, straight into the eyes of what he now knew to be a master of genjutsu...

Oh yeah.

Oh yeah.

Shisui cracked one eye open tentatively, and then both opened into slits as his pupils adjusted to the light.

Gradually, very gradually, Shisui came to his senses. The first he noticed was the sunlight that danced across the room, throwing the walls into a pale warm yellow. Next was the white that shrouded him; the bedsheets that covered his body up to his chest, the bandages covering his right arm and a good part constricting around his torso, the one he felt around his head as he turned his head slightly to the right to see his cousin sitting with his knees drawn to his chest in the chair next to the bed. Itachi hadn't seemed to notice that he was awake, just sat there quietly and looking at nowhere in particular, seemingly lost in his thoughts. Shisui wanted to ask what the younger shinobi was doing here, but all that came out was 'Unnnh.'

Nevertheless, the noise caught his attention, and Itachi's head snapped up immediately. Fatigue and worry was evident in his cousin's dark eyes, making the faint lines on his face more pronounced. The chair scraped against the floor as he moved from his position and pulled the chair closer to the bed. His voice was quiet, but Shisui could hear the concern in it.

"Shisui? What—How are you feeling?"

The older ninja coughed and hacked several times, but finally managed to rasp out. "Fine. Never better." He grinned wearily, wanting to abate his cousin's fears.

Itachi's shoulders seemed to sag, and relief settled over the youth like a blanket, releasing the tension from his shoulders and neck, and the expression he had on was one Shisui had never seen before, a mixture of relief and something else, he couldn't say what.

"I thought..." Itachi shook his head, clearing his eyes of the bangs. "I thought that..."

"I was gone for good?" Shisui quipped helpfully. A pained smirk tugged at his lips as he heaved his injured body up, leaning back against the cushioned bars. "You wish."

Itachi straightened in indignation. "That's not what I-" He stopped as he realized Shisui was chuckling at him. "...That's not funny."

The older teen glanced at him with some surprise, Itachi's somber tone catching him off guard. "What, it's not like I'm dead, is it? You need to lighten up, Itachi-kun." He added the suffix playfully.

"You nearly were." His cousin was looking at him now, and Shisui could tell Itachi was completely serious.

So he'd nearly died. Huh. No wonder Itachi was acting so corny.

Feeling like it was the right thing to do in a mood like this, Shisui reached out and placed a hand on the spot next to his knee, an invitation for Itachi to either accept or reject. Immediately he punched himself mentally for doing such a sentimental thing. This was Uchiha Itachi for gayness' sake!

Then Itachi stood and surprised him when the younger boy complied, sitting himself down onto the bed, being careful to avoid sitting on Shisui's legs. This was so unexpected that at first Shisui just stared, at a temporary loss for words. His cousin appeared not to notice, instead reaching for the bedside tabletop.

A small box appeared in front of Shisui, and he blinked down at it.

"Wha-"

"Just open it."

Thankfully, his wit chose this time to come back and Shisui felt his lips curve into a smirk at the expression on Itachi's averted face. The younger boy seemed, well, embarrassed, if the slight tinge on his cheeks accounted for anything.

"For me? Aw, you shouldn't have."

Itachi gave him a soft glare that only further amused the other ninja. "Just open it." He repeated, annoyance evident in his voice.

Shisui gave a nonchalant shrug, and did so. Something glittered, and he blinked again. A necklace?

His smirk widened. Aw, but this was cute.

He held up the ornament, three flat rings chiseled into the shape of ovals, tied at three different places in the string. Sunlight sparkled off the metal and danced across the room. It was captivating in its own way, the simple design giving off an air of mystery without resorting to intricate designs that were much too flashy and caught the attention of potential enemy shinobi. The way it was shaped also enabled him to be able to wear it during missions; there were no superfluous hooks or string, so there was no fear of the necklace getting caught on anything.

Slowly he brought the string to his neck and tied a double knot, tugging to make sure it was securely on. Itachi watched him, then reached out to adjust the positions of the metal. Shisui felt his smirk turn into a small smile. It seemed that his younger cousin had the potential to be a romantic at heart.

Despite himself, Shisui felt slightly touched. Slightly. But still touched. In the head, if I'm thinking thoughts like this.

"Itachi." Shisui wanted to thank the other boy, but Itachi wouldn't look at him now. That wouldn't do.

"Itachi."

The younger Uchiha ignored him. Stupid little--

An arm reached out to grab the front of Itachi's shirt, and Shisui yanked lightly, wincing when he felt his sore muscles protest even at this small movement. Apparently the kid hadn't been prepared for this as well, the gentle tug leaving him almost leaning against the older teen.

And suddenly, they were much closer than Shisui had anticipated. Too close. He was practically breathing into his friend's ear. Apparently, Itachi felt uncomfortable to a certain degree as well, because he shifted slightly, wanting to pull back but fearing he would hurt his older cousin.

"Shisui?"

"Thank you." Shisui was barely aware of how low his own voice sounded, only that this was his chance, and if he didn't take it, unspeakable bad things would happen. But still…

And then Itachi turned his head, and Shisui's control flew out the window. The last thing he did was to note somewhere in the back of his mind just how long his friend's lashes were, before closing his eyes and the last few centimeters of space between them.

The kiss felt wonderful beyond words; he'd never expected Itachi's lips to be so soft and so full, and certainly his imagination didn't even begin to compare to really, how incredibly warm they were. His hand that was fisted in Itachi's shirt came up of its own accord to grip the younger boy by the shoulder, just as his free left hand reached up and lightly cupped Itachi's face, tilting it so he could deepen the kiss. Shisui felt his cousin start, and instinctively jerked Itachi closer, not wanting to lose that lingering warmth. Warm breaths were exchanged as their mouths hovered against each other, then Shisui pressed forward again, loving the taste of Uchiha Itachi and the feeling of slightly chapped lips against his own. Palms digging lightly against his bandaged chest only served to make him pull Itachi closer still.

"Shisui…"

Hearing his name murmured against his lips, he pulled away, just so that their mouths hovered a few millimeters away from each other. The older boy opened his eyes to find Itachi's gaze locked on him. Fearing the worst, Shisui pulled back completely and looked his partner full in the face.

"What is it?"

"...I don't understand." Itachi's voice was almost a whisper. His intense eyes bored into Shisui's own.

A faint line creased the older Uchiha's brow. "Don't understand what, exactly?"

His cousin frowned slightly and traced a slim finger over his mouth, lightly tapping against where Shisui had previously rested his own.

And it hit him. Shisui punched himself for the second time, mentally of course, and added a kick for good measure. Duh Itachi wouldn't understand what a kiss meant! The kid wasn't at that age yet…almost, but not quite. Uchiha Itachi might have mastered his Sharingan at eight and done all that other tensai shit, but that didn't mean his body development (not counting the bloodline limit) advanced as the same pace as his intelligence and maturity. Itachi's mind might be much older than his body, but obviously his hormones were as normal as anyone else's.

Damn. Damn, damn, and damn!

Damn it all. Damn the kid and his grown-up attitude, always making Shisui forget that this was an eleven-year-old he was talking to. Damn the serious eyes that looked up at him through the lashes, damn the voice that rightfully should've belonged to at least a fourteen-year-old, goddamn the stupid silky hair that Shisui would just love to comb his fingers through...

"Shisui?"

The older boy gave a dramatic sigh, rolling his eyes so hard it hurt. "Do I have to spell everything out for you? And they call you the genius of this clan!" He snorted softly, aware of furthering the damage his still-healing ribs while he strived to think up a suitable answer that would make sense to a pre-teen. "Tensai my ass!"

Itachi frowned, for some reason. "Don't call me that."

It suddenly dawned on Shisui that his hands were still holding Itachi in place. The older boy let go, admittedly rather reluctantly, but Itachi persisted, leaning forward with his hands still pressed to his cousin's chest. He was careful though, and so Shisui didn't feel any additional pain.

"I still don't understand."

The older shinobi sighed. He didn't want to explain the facts of life to his naïve friend just now, he just felt like focusing on the hazy sunshine filtering into the room. Gently, he brought his arms up and around his cousin in an embrace. Kissing the top of Itachi's head, he said softly.

"You will, someday."

And he supposed that, for now, it was enough.

END

A/n: Hopefully Itachi wasn't too out of character, but I took into consideration that Shisui was someone he looked up to and thought of as an older brother...which...now that I think about it, makes this pairing even more wrong I suppose...;;

As for the necklace, yes, it's the same one Itachi normally wears in later years. My other fic, the one I mentioned up in the first author's note, will explain how Itachi ends up wearing it. I've always wondered how he came to have it, and my imagination came up with this.

Here's an excerpt:

Itachi turned his still-burning eyes from the shape slowly diminishing into the water, blinking painfully as his body slowly adjusted to his newly-formed Mangekyou Sharingan. As he turned, a flash from the grass caught his attention. Itachi stared at the spot somewhat blankly, then bent down and reached for it. A hard lump seemed to stick in his throat as he realized it was Shisui's necklace, the one Itachi had given him two years ago.

The metal rings were cool in his hand, the string pooling in his palm and draping themselves over his fingers. As he stared at the thin, criss-crossing lines worn onto the surface of the metal by long-term use, memories and the emotions that came with them flooded his mind; the shock after hearing the news about the failed mission, the helplessness that gripped his body as he stared stony-faced at the bloodied body of Shisui, flinching inwardly as the fifteen-year-old was carried into the Konoha emergency room gasping and shaking, his eyes wide and unseeing, muscles twitching as the medical unit worked at fixing the broken tendons of his body and injecting their own chakra into him, breaking whatever genjutsu that had hold of the teen.

Gazing down at the plain ornament, Itachi recalled the tension that gripped him tightly for two weeks, two long weeks of endless vigil spent in the hospital by Shisui's bedside, curled up in a chair, feeling for the first time in his life the utter helplessness of not being able to do anything to help his best friend. And when the first reaction Shisui had after finally awakening from his coma was to suddenly grab Itachi's cup of cold coffee from the bedside and throw it against the boy's sleeping body, the joy and relief that overrode the shock and extreme annoyance was so tremendous he felt the pressure in his chest despite the rude awakening the younger boy received.

There was an inner pain that clawed at that same spot in his heart when Itachi remembered the surprise, then pleasure that showed itself on the ANBU shinobi's face when Itachi had presented the necklace almost tentatively to the older teen. The embarrassment of doing such a thing had heated up his face even though his closest friend had grinned cockily and immediately tied the necklace on, the mid-afternoon sunlight reflecting off the shining metal that dangled around Shisui's neck. Then Shisui had reached out with a heavily bandaged arm and fisted an equally bandaged hand in Itachi's shirt, pulling him close, whispering a "Thank you." in his ear before turning his head and pressing their lips together for the first time.

A/n: Who's interested, I'm curious to know...? R&R!