Chapter 20: The first step towards healing
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"You have no idea how much this means to me. So once again, thank you so, so much". And with that he opened the door and was gone, leaving Meredith in the empty, dimly lit resident's lounge.
Taking a deep breath, she flopped back on the couch praying with all her might that she had made the right decision.
Dr. Bailey purposely stalked through the halls of Seattle Grace with only one mission in mind- to find her missing resident.
She hadn't seen Christina since last night. She hadn't even showed up for rounds this morning, something she had never done before. Something was seriously amiss and Dr. Bailey was going to get to the bottom of it.
"Grey have you seen Yang?" She called out as she saw Meredith walk out of a patient's room.
"No, I haven't seen her since last night. She wasn't there when I woke up this morning. I have been looking for her all day," Meredith said looking worried.
"Alright, get back to work," Bailey said shaking her head as she walked away from Meredith, wondering where Cristina could have disappeared off to.
"Dr. Bailey," Burke greeted as she walked past him so lost in her own thoughts that she didn't even acknowledge his presence.
Bailey stopped short at his voice, and quickly turned around to face him with a glare on her face.
"You," Bailey snarled poking a finger in his chest.
"Me?" Burke asked confused and a little scared. It didn't matter that she was almost a foot shorter than him, an angry Bailey always meant bad news.
"Yes, you. What did you do with my resident?" Bailey asked glaring.
"Your resident?" Burke asked surprised, "I am afraid I don't know what you're talking about Dr. Bailey."
"Like hell you don't," Bailey said angrily, "I haven't seen Yang since last night, she didn't even show up for rounds this morning, something she has never done by the way, so come on where is she? Don't make me force it out of you."
"Dr. Bailey I really have no idea where Cristina might be," Burke said honestly, "But I know she's here, because I did see her earlier when I asked her to scrub in on my humpty dumpty surgery."
"You asked her to what?" Bailey asked surprised.
"To scrub in on my humpty dumpty surgery," Burke repeated, not liking the way Bailey's eyes had narrowed at his words.
"And why did you do that?" Bailey asked in a menacingly low voice.
"Well because it's Cristina and—"
"See this, this is the reason I was so against you coming back here in the first place," Bailey interrupted sharply, "My residents have enough problem on their own without their exes showing up out of the blue and making things 10 times harder than they already are."
"Dr. Bailey I—"
"No, I am talking right now. You don't talk until I am finished talking. Seriously Burke what the hell do you think you're playing at?" Bailey spat out angrily.
"I am not playing at anything. I don't see why me asking Cristina to scrub in on a surgery with me is such a big deal," Burke said.
"It is a big deal you fool. It is a big deal, because you're messing with her head. You're giving her offers that she can't refuse just so you can spend more time with her, and I won't have it! You screwed her enough the first time, we don't need a repeat performance of that," Bailey said seriously.
"I am just trying to make things right with her Dr. Bailey," Burke said weakly.
"Yeah well it's a little too late for that don't you think?" Bailey said irately, "One week is not going to erase the pain you've caused her for the past 8 months."
"But—"
"But nothing Dr. Burke," Bailey said sternly, "You had your shot with her and you ruined it, that's no one's fault but your own so deal with it. Now you're my senior that's why I can't overrule your decision to let Yang scrub in with you, but let me get one thing extremely clear, after this surgery, I don't want to see you approaching her or talking to her unless its about the twin surgery! I don't want you to go assault her if she doesn't want to talk to you."
"And what if she wants to talk to me?" Burke asked desperately.
"If she wants to talk to you, something I doubt she will, she will come to you herself. I don't want you to give her any false hope only to leave a couple of days later. She can't go through that again. You get what I am saying Dr. Burke?" Bailey asked severely.
"Yes, Dr. Bailey," Burke said quietly knowing he had no other choice than to agree with the angry doctor.
"Good," Bailey said nodding, "And don't take this as an empty threat either, because I am going to have my eyes on you, don't doubt that."
And with that, Bailey gave him one last look before turning around and walking away leaving a gaping Burke behind.
--
"Debbie have you seen Dr. Yang?" Bailey asked as she approached the nurse' station.
"Not for a while. Last time I saw her, she was heading towards the back stairwell. She didn't look too happy," Debbie answered.
"Thank you," Bailey said nodding as she made her way to the deserted stairwell, hoping that would be her last stop.
And sure enough as she stopped in front of the door leading to the back stairwell, she could clearly see Cristina's silhouette inside.
"Yang what the hell are you doing here?" Bailey demanded as she made her way inside.
"Dr. Bailey, you scared the crap out of me," Cristina gasped jumping 5 feet in the air as the stairwell door slammed shut behind Dr. Bailey.
"Well what did you expect?" Bailey said sharply, "Where the hell have you been? Your friends have been worried sick about you. And what in the world were you thinking- missing rounds."
"Sorry Dr. Bailey," Cristina said tiredly, "I guess I lost track of time."
"Lost track of time?" Bailey repeated incredulously, "Lost track of time? Yang you do not lose track of time!"
"Well I did alright." Cristina snapped, "I am not perfect for god's sake! I can lose track of time too."
"No you can't! Not when I am your resident," Bailey said angrily, "You know that I do not tolerate such childishness, so I am giving you one minute to tell what the hell is going on with you."
"Nothing is going on with me Dr. Bailey," Cristina said in a forced calm voice, "Seriously, I am okay. I am just having an off day."
"You seem to be having a lot of off days ever since Dr. Burke came back haven't you Yang?" Dr. Bailey said sarcastically.
"Dr. Burke has nothing to do with anything," Cristina replied in a clipped voice.
"Oh so you're not hiding out over here because you agreed to scrub in his humpty dumpty surgery and now you're regretting it?" Bailey asked shrewdly.
"I am- what- wait how do you know that I agreed to scrub in in his humpty dumpty surgery?" Cristina spluttered.
"I am Dr. Bailey, I know everything," Bailey said simply, "So you're going to start talking or what? Because I really don't have all day."
"I am just confused D. Bailey. Burke coming back here took me by surprise, that's all. It's no big deal," Cristina said bravely, really not wanting to discuss her personal life with Bailey.
"If it's affecting your work like this, then it is a big deal Yang. Now you either start speaking or I am going to suspend you for 3 days. Your choice—"
"What? You can't suspend me," Cristina said angrily.
"Watch me," Bailey said threateningly, "You've got 5 seconds. 5, 4…"
"Alright, alright fine. You win. What do you want me to tell you?" Cristina asked irritated.
"I don't know. I don't do all this feeling, emotional crap, but I am making an exception for you, so you better make it good Yang," Bailey said shrugging.
"Alright but you asked for it," Cristina said warningly.
"Yeah I know, now get on with it," Bailey snapped as she stood in front of her with her hands on her hips.
"Alright, well Burke is back—"
"Really? I hadn't noticed," Bailey interrupted sarcastically.
"Look Dr. Bailey you can't do that okay?" Cristina snapped, "You're the one who's standing here forcing me to talk to you about my miserable life, something that's already impossibly hard for me to do without you interrupting me."
"Yang—"
"If you want me to talk you can't say anything until I am done, and preferably not even then," Cristina said sharply.
"Fine, fine get on with the damn story," Bailey said rolling her eyes, slightly regretting ever seeking out Cristina in the first place.
"It's just too hard," Cristina started again, "Seeing him here again. I mean I was doing fine when he wasn't here, when I couldn't see him everyday, but then out of the blue he shows up without so much as a warming, and he expects me to pretend as if the past six months never happened. As if he didn't leave me on the altar on our wedding day and never looked back. He acts as if he didn't break my hearts into a million pieces, he somehow makes it look like it was my fault that he left. I can't stand being around him and pretend that everything is okay, that we don't have such a screwed up history. He keeps trying to talk to me, to intrude in my life when he has no idea, absolutely no idea how different everything is. And despite my best attempts to ignore him, to not think about him, to pretend he is not here, I can't, he won't let me. He knows me too well, he knows exactly what buttons to push to get me to react to him. He knows my weaknesses because I being a moron let him too in, and he uses them to his advantage. He's driving me crazy and now to top it all I am working under him and Dr. Hahn for the twin surgery, it's like I just can't escape him. And the harder I try, the more I get sucked into him," Cristina ranted, her face heating up and her voice getting louder with every word so that by the time she was done she was almost shouting.
Dr. Bailey however, didn't even flinch. She had been expecting this outburst, so once Cristina had finished she gave her a couple of seconds to compose herself before starting calmly.
"I know this is hard for you, and I don't blame you. I was so mad at the chief when I saw Burke in the hospital again. You, if not anyone else, deserved a warning that he would be coming back in town. So yeah he showed up out of the blue, and totally threw your world off balance, I get that. But what can you do about it? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Burke is going to stay her for at least another week, so you have 2 choices. You either stay hidden in this stairwell and have me suspend your or you actually hold up your head high and go throughout the day as usual. Will it be easy? Hell no. Burke will try to talk to you, he will try to get you to scrub in his surgeries, but you're Cristina Yang. You are not going to let a man put you down. You're not going to let him see how much he's hurt you. You're going to make him be the weak and vulnerable one. The guy broke your heart, but your pride is still here. You can't let him take that away from you. So what you're going to do now is take a couple minutes to calm yourself and then you're going to meet me in the pit and we'll go from there. Sound like a plan to you?" Bailey asked.
"Alright," Cristina said shakily running a hand through her face. She was tired, and mentally exhausted but she knew Dr. Bailey was right. She couldn't let Burke see how affected she was by his arrival. She needed to act calm and nonchalant as if nothing had happened. She had to give him a dose of his own medicine. Like Bailey said, she was Cristina Yang and she was not going to let a man turn her into an emotional mess no matter how much history was involved. So yes, she was going to scrub in on the humpty dumpty surgery with him tomorrow, but she would not let him affect her. His presence, his words, she needed to create a wall around herself to protect herself from those. Because her pride and self was the only thing she had left, and she wasn't going to let Burke take that away from her, no matter how hard it was for her.
"I'll see you in the pit in 5 minutes," Dr. Bailey said turning to walk out the door.
"Yeah, you will," Cristina replied in a voice that was stronger than she felt. This was her first step to recovery, to heal the emotional wounds she had kept buried for so long. She needed to face her fears in order to overcome them, and she was going to do it.
But like always, these things are always much easier said than done.
A/N: Wow, its been almost an year since I updated, I am pretty sure most of you have probably given up on ever getting an update again. But here I am again, ready to continue my stories once again, so I really hope there are still some of you guys interested in this.
I hope you guys liked this chapter, it was incredibly hard for me to write because Dr. Bailey is such a complex character that I never feel as if I have done enough justice to her. But I think she was the best one to get Cristina out of her funk because she's blunt, she's honest and she says exactly what you need to hear to get better. So we're at a conflict here, Cristina had just took her first step to really getting over Burke when Burke took his first step in getting Cristina back. So I am excited to see how it all unveils, and hopefully you guys are too.
Next Chapter: Humpty Dumpty surgery and a drunken encounter between Burke/Cristina.
P.S: Since I haven't updated in so long, I need to know how many of you guys are still reading this because the more readers I have the faster I am going to pace myself to update now that I am officially back to writing. My stories that take first priority are those that have the most people waiting for the next update! So please REVIEW and let me know if you're still here because it will really make me happy and give me the motivation to get the next chapter done faster! I am working of 4 stories so I really have to organize my writing time!
Also to you readers, I have a very important question for you guys that will pace the rest of the story: Should I have Cristina/Burke sleep together? (Drunken sex of course, but do you want to see it, or do you think it will be too complicated) Or if you don't want them to have sex, do you want a kiss at least, I am open to suggestions at this point so let me know what you guys think and I will try to incorporate as many ideas as possible in the next coming chapters that will really decide the direction of this story!
I know there are many Owen/Cristina fans out there now (me included) but I am going to stay true to this pairing so there will be no Owen (even though I do love him), sorry!
So, with all that out of the way, I hope you liked this chapter, and please, please, please, REVIEW because if you can read it you can review it! (Goal: At least 10 reviews before next chapter!)