Pain, an ouran high school host club fanfic

Pain

Hello again people I'm back, If people want to know this is a Hikaru/Haruhi fic, don't like it leave now, I don't want flames only comments that will help me improve. From my last one-shot I had a couple of comments that the writing should be broken up more and I know for a fact that it's a big predicament for me because I always thought my sentences were to short, so I then wrote larger ones. And now I have to break them down again argghhh!

This story is dedicated to Zakuro Haruno, who kindly asked me to do this fic no matter the time it took, and I greatly appreciate that, so this is for you!

Okay this is also a song fic the song being Pain from Three Days Grace which was also recommended by Zakuro Haruno, and Because I like that song for some reason, hehe, so please enjoy!

Hikaru X Haruhi – Ouran High School Host club

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Hikaru sighed as he stared into a certain direction blankly, he couldn't really describe how he felt, not that there was much feeling going on him...Pain, Anger, hurt...Misery...? He wasn't to sure anymore. He sighed once again. He had been doing that a lot lately and why...? Because she was with him, he couldn't understand why or how, but they were together. Hikaru knew that his mouth got the better of him sometimes...okay maybe most of the times, he just wasn't sure if that was one of the reasons.

You're sick of feeling numb
You're not the only one
I'll take you by the hand
And I'll show you a world that you can understand
This life is filled with hurt
When happiness doesn't work
Trust me and take my hand
When the lights go out you will understand

Hikaru felt slightly numb as he approached the library where he knew that she would be. His heart was pounding as he came upon the door, he felt slightly woozy, and he knew what was happening to him...

All this pain he felt he hated it, but...loved it, Since it felt like that was the only thing he felt in his numb mind and body.

Hikaru chuckled at himself inwardly he sounded like a masochists, kind of sad really.

He reached his hand out and opened the door, slowly twisting the doorknob, it opened and revealed a few dozen people bustling around to study and finish off work, he watched and the males and females all blurred in his sight as he searched for one soul person. His chest tightened as he searched amongst the crowd. Where was she...?

But what Hikaru didn't realize is that someone else may be feeling the same, but with a heap of guilt to match up with it...

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Haruhi blinked as she stared down blankly at her homework, she just couldn't actually get her mind set on thinking about the homework, she tapped he pencil on the top if the desk in irritation, she sighed dejectedly and let her mind wander.

The Host club was still open, and she and Tamaki had gotten together they were one of the hottest couples in the school, everyone though they had it easy and yadda, yadda, yadda...But the thing was it wasn't true. Sure she liked Tamaki and all, but she wasn't sure she had always had feelings for him. Haruhi sighed she wasn't going to lie to herself yes this was it she liked Tamaki of course others they wouldn't be together as a couple, it's just that she also had very strong feelings for ...for Hikaru. Yes and you're all probably wondering, 'why did I go with Tamaki then...?' And to be honest it was because she knew her feelings wouldn't be returned.

I mean sure Kaoru, Hikaru and herself were always together, and that, and during that time she had grown feelings for Hikaru, but she wasn't sure about him and his feelings for her.

Hikaru probably only saw her as a friend, though on occasions he seemed to have deeper feelings for her, but with his gruff attitude at times it was hard to tell. Haruhi barely spent anytime with the twins, well more Hikaru, but that included Kaoru since he was always there with his brother.

Haruhi sighed in thought bring the pencil in her hand up to her mouth and began to nibble on it slightly in though, her tongue brushed over the wooden surface that had broken from her teeth marks, and her tongue recoiled at the taste. Haruhi brought it out of her mouth and started at it intently as if it would give her all the answers she wanted, though that was not so.

She sighed and once again started tapping it lightly against the table- top, next to her book. 'I wonder what Hikaru's doing?' She felt pain in her chest at the thought of him, this always seemed to happen, though she wasn't sure why, it never happened or had happened when Tamaki was with other girls hosting, nothing of the sort.

Anger and agony
Are better than misery
Trust me I've got a plan
When the lights go off you will understand

Hikaru took a breath a walked forwards and went to the start of the book isles, he felt pain go through his chest, that felt like something had clenched his heart, but he also felt slightly warm. He knew he was in love with Haruhi, his brother had helped him with that, sometimes he felt that his brother Kaoru was the only person keeping him sane these days.

Hikaru stopped his movements and stayed in one of the isles in the middle and went into thought, he knew he was hurting his brother, because he was hurting, and he needed to pull himself together for Kaoru, Haruhi, the rest of the Host club...and himself.

Hikaru set his mind, he would find Haruhi and tell him how he felt, if she rejected, he would be hurt of course, but he would eventually pull through and hopefully find someone else. If she accepted...well he better not go there, it would get his hopes up and besides there was a very minimal chance that she would accept these feeling that were swirling inside like a maelstrom of images. But...he decided he would take that chance! With a determined look in his eyes he strode forward intent on finding her.

Hikaru went around the corner of the last isle and gasped, it was her, Haruhi she was there, he breathed in a breath of air and walked towards her, she seemed not to notice him yet, he then thought of something. How was he to act around her? He felt a bead of sweat run down the side of his brow. He decided to act normally, but at the same time show what he feels, which would be a problem since he can hardly feel anything but pain...

Hikaru took a deep breath and called to her, trying to make his voice not sound shaky, and god she looked beautiful...

"Haruhi..."

I know (I know I know I know I know)
That you're wounded
You know (You know you know you know you know)
That I'm here to save you
You know (You know you know you know you know)
I'm always here for you
I know (I know I know I know I know)
That you'll thank me later

Haruhi closed her booklet with a sigh, she felt the pain consume her being, she decided that she would go and find Hikaru and talk to him about her feelings, then...see what happens from there she guessed.

"Haruhi..." she heard, and when she heard it she froze...she knew that voice...Hikaru, speak of the devil she thought to herself dryly trying to cover her internal shock from herself, though she knew not why.

Haruhi looked up and her breath caught in her throat, her eyes slightly wide in surprise 'he was so...so, oh how could she describe him without being so corny...handsome, boyishly cute...the list could go on and on' she thought to herself.

"Uh Hey Hikaru, what are you doing h-here?" she asked in a slightly stuttering voice, she cursed her lack of confidence to at least be able to talk to the guy she actually had feelings on.

Hikaru swallowed the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat, only to find that it wouldn't leave without a fight. He sucked in a breath of air and let it out slowly letting his shoulders slightly slump from the out-take of air, but straiten up, right after.

"I came to find you, I-I haven't seen you for a long time and I n-needed to speak with you" He stated as strong as he could.

Now most people that look on this would probably think it was quite pathetic at the state his and her voice were being but...no one knows the pain Hikaru and Haruhi had to go through hiding their feelings from one another and everyone.

"Okay let's sit down here and talk, or did you want to go somewhere else?" she asked, she was so nervous.

"Here's fine," he said, he walked over to one of the cushioned chairs, he looked up at her with seriousness, something she had never seen on him.

"Haruhi I...I love you, I have ever since you found out the difference between me and Kaoru, I have always had some feeling for you, it took me a while and some lectures from Kaoru, but I do know now that I love you..." he trailed off looking at his hands in his lap, dreading what she was going to stay.

Pain, without love
Pain, can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Rather feel pain than nothing at all
Rather feel pain

Hikaru felt his head being lifted, Haruhi had her hands on his cheeks, she looked into his sorrow filled eyes, and smiled "Hikaru I-I love you too" With that she bent down and kissed his lips.

Hikaru's eyes were wide as he felt her lips upon his, but they soon closed as he kissed back with vigor. They broke for some air, and looked at each other with blushes dusting their cheeks.

"Haruhi what abou-..." Hikaru words were stopped as Haruhi bent for another kiss, she stood up and smiled at him, her hand on his head.

"We'll get through it..."

Hikaru X Haruhi – Ouran High School Host club

I can't believe this took me so long to get out... I'm so angry at myself, and I'm super sorry to Zakuro Haruno, I just lost interest then got into it, then wasn't sure what to do with it, and then kinda forgot about it me starting a new year and whatnot. I am deeply sorry. But please enjoy R&R.