Hey DJ Cherry
Author's note: yaaay!! Thanks for the reviews!! And well, for Rational Insanity's question… I'll put it on chapter three… I'm not that good in advising or counseling but I really like love topics since I'm a romantic screwed-up… it releases tension—really… heheh… so well, for Rational Insanity-san, please wait for the next chapter, ne? And thanks for the review! That's very sweet! I love long reviews!
Also special thanks to:
Caramel Crazy-san (I am your brother!! Your best friend foreveeer!! Hahah… bingo! You got it! Nice job!)
Sahdowcat (SOON dude! Hehehe!! Boys do have love problems, don't they?)
Temari-Sand Princess (thanks for—falling out of your chair? I guess… haha… thanks for the review… I'm glad you like it!)
kawaii.no.jutsu. (thanks! And you rock too!)
kyo12591 (Whoah… you read this too! I'm sooo glad!! Hahaha… um. Sorry, I'm just hyper. You're a boy right? Ahh!! Don't be mad at me!)
SilverTwilight19 (aww!! And you're sweet for leaving a review! Thanks!!)
cherryblossom429 (they have ideas who the e-mail sender was—except for Naruto… I made the code names pretty obvious for Sakura to have a hint but still—the air-head Naruto didn't get it!)
bambichic , sasusakuloverforever3, asian-cinderella238(Thanks for the review! I hope to see you next chap okay? And well, if you wanted to ask something… you can type it… I'm more than happy to answer it.)
Wanted: Boyfriend!
Sakura: Hello guys!!
Naruto: "…"
Sakura: we would like to offer our sincere thanks to those who supported our program!! Especially those who left comments and reviews…
Naruto: "…"
Sakura: I'm DJ Cherry… and here is my partner who is just slightly injured because of—
Naruto: Who's slightly injured? You call 3 broken ribs, one dislocated leg and a swollen face slight injury?!
Sakura: Be thankful you're still alive, you pervert!
Naruto: Huh! No injury can stop us! (grabs the microphone tight) so here we are again! We'll be helping guys out there who are problematic with their 'achy breaky heart'!! (fist suspended in the air, ocean waves and sunrise effects on the background…)
Kakashi: Time is running out guys… Let's start.
Sakura: Yosh! Okay… so let's have first this one… click… click… click… okay… an e-mail from one of our listeners…! Naruto! Read!
Naruto: ehem…
Hey DJ Cherry,
Hi there! I have heard about your radio program and wanted to tell my problem since I don't have anybody to give me advice here… I'm totally surrounded by boys so it's some kind of embarrassing to let them know my problem…
I'm older than my friends but still, I haven't had a crush before… weird to say but they say that having no crush as a teenager is quite abnormal. Some say girls like me are cursed! I became panic-stricken praying that somehow, I can meet up with someone who will make my heart skip a beat—but unfortunately, none of the guys around me are boyfriend material…
Naruto: OH? Haven't you seen me?! I have all the characteristics of a—
Baaaaaaaaaaam!!
Sakura: Stop commenting while reading her letter!! And well, I bet if she met up with you, she'll be totally convinced that she's cursed!!
Naruto: (pout) You're so meaaaaan!!
I know it's not the typical problem to be solved by an advice but could you please site ways on how will "The Search for the One" be easier for me? And if possible, could you enumerate some names of—
Naruto: ehehehehehehe…. (Evil laugh)
Sakura: (stares at him) What the—?
Naruto: Kaka-sensei… I mean SilverIcha-san!! Kuchi kuchi!! (a/n: means come here)
Kakashi: (moves closer to Naruto and will look at the e-mail) hmmm… (smile evident behind his mask…)
Sakura: Oi! Continue reading the—
Naruto: Don't worry!! We're here to help!! (Stands on the table holding the mic) there are lots of handsome men here in Konoha who are single and available!! You can choose from different age brackets, with different talents and even a variety of hair color!!
Sakura: (Glares at the computer screen)
And if possible, could you enumerate some names of boys who could possibly be a boyfriend material? I mean… at my age, I should already have a boyfriend! So it would be a great help if you will state some names, their characteristics and abilities. (I prefer serious guys or the loud-mouthed ones)
Thanks a lot, DJ Cherry!!
Love,
Guess-who-gal
Sakura: 'Hmm… compared to the previous e-mails and problem senders, I have no idea who this one is…'
Naruto: You? Have you seen a cool blonde boy in orange and black suit?! Hell yeah! That's me! I really can't believe you can't find a person who will make your heart skip because every girl who saw me had her jaw dropped because of my gorgeousness and handsome—
Whapaaaak!!
Sakura: Shut up!!
Kakashi: Who's gorgeous and handsome? You?
Naruto: (kneading his head) you're as violent as ever…
Sakura: well then Guess-who-gal, I think you have a very serious problem there… I suggest you should decide on what characteristics should your 'one' possess… hmm… if you refer boys from Konoha, well, we'll give you the best among the rest!
Kakashi: I agree… there are lots of handsome men here on Konoha like m—
Sakura/Naruto: (glares at Kakashi) hmmm…?
Kakashi: like…
Sakura/Naruto: Like…?
Kakashi: me? I guess? Ehehe.. (sheepish laugh)
Sakura: Argh. I wanna die.
Naruto: then take me with you Cherry-san… I can't believe he's going to praise himself that much.
Kakashi: So, with the help of our Cherry Panel, we came up with a list of guys here in Konoha who are on the most wanted…
Naruto: Wanted? Criminal… you say? Aren't we going to look for a great guy?
Sakura: and what's cherry panel?
Kakashi: (snaps his fingers)
POOF!!
Anbu guy 1: Anbu squad 5 reporting!
Sakura: (Blink…blink) Hey… why are there 5 anbu members here in the studio?!
Naruto: Don't say they're—
Anbu guy 2: Hokage-sama appointed us to be the cherry panel… we'll do whatever task you'll ask.
Kakashi: done preparing the list?
Anbu guy 3: Hai. (lends the paper to Sakura)
Sakura: hmm… okay then… (scans the paper) Okay guess-who-gal-san...
Naruto: but she didn't mention anything about her background… her age, work or something…
Sakura: No problem! Here in our program, we'll help every love-problematics by doing our very best so that one simple thing is easy…
Sakura: since no age requirement was mentioned on the e-mail, we will have a list of different guys in different age brackets and categories! So guess-who-gal-san and other loveless females out there… listen!!
Naruto: Hmm… so for the cool mysterious category… we have whaaaaaaaaah!! I can't believe this!!
Sakura: Kyaaaaaaaaaaa—!! (blush bright red) Sasuke-kun's on the number one spot!! As expected from the number one Uchiha sensation!!
Naruto: Tch… so you wanna read the characteristics?! (I'M A SENSATION TOO!)
Sakura: Hai! Uchiha Sasuke on the number one spot for the cool and mysterious category… he's a genius and one of the best nin here during our genin days, he even became a chuunin ahead of us by passing the chuunin exam on our first try… hmm… he's serious all the time and rarely smiles… he smirks and his smirk is a very cool one!!
Naruto: he's broody…
Sakura: He's calm and collected…
Naruto: a very boring guy…
Sakura: though most of the time he's pissed because of the fangirls…
Naruto: He's also pissing us guys!!
Sakura: he's protective—protecting me all the time when I'm in danger!
Naruto: I'm also protecting you!
Sakura: his hair and eye color is black, height: 150.8 cm, weight: 42.2 kg!
Naruto: Oi! Oi! Oi! Cherry-chan! There's no such thing written on the paper!! Only names are—
Sakura: (-glares-) of course I know a lot about him!!
Naruto: Really? When's his birthday then?
Sakura: July 23.
Naruto: Blood type?
Sakura: AB.
Naruto: favorite quote?
Sakura: "Foolish little brother."
Naruto: Hobby?
Sakura: brooding over a dark corner!
Naruto: (-jaw drop-)
Sakura: but since he's not in Konoha, you can remove him from the list, girls (and well, HE'S MINE!! So he should not be on the 'single and available' list!!)
Naruto: (grabs the paper) okay so the next one will be… shocks! (-froze-)
Sakura: Ramen-kun?
Kakashi: This is nice… tell then the number two… (opens an orange book)
Naruto: On the nu-number t-two spot is… is… (sweat forming on his head)
'SABAKUSOSO!!'
Sakura: Oi, Ramen-ku—
Naruto: BEWARE of this one. Girls, I don't recommend this one to be on your choice if you wanted to live longer!!
Kakashi: "…"
Sakura: Ah! I knew it! It's Gaara from Suna!! He's the current Kazekage there and well, I agree he's a mysterious one. For your information, he has many fangirls scattered around Konoha so it's no wonder why he made it to the number two spot!
Naruto: Heh. I wonder why many like that guy! He's so expressive!He has many facial expressions…!
Sakura: What do you mean by that?!
Naruto: (-shows some pictures of Gaara-) Look!! Look!! I got these pics from the internet and well, look at his face!! It's all the same!!
Sakura: (-astounded-) Cool!!
Naruto: Che! What's cool about—
Sakura: (-shows different pics of Naruto-) Compared to that constipated look of yours!
Naruto: :cries: whaaa… cherry-chan's sooo mean!!
Kakashi: TRIVIA! The name "Gaara" is made up of three Kanji, "Ga" (meaning I or me), "A" (more commonly "Ai" meaning love), and "Ra" (used here to mean a demon). Added together, they can mean, "I only love myself. I'm a demon." which really explains what kind of character he is.
Naruto: whoah… Sugoi! You really know that much sensei?!
Sakura: (-pointing at the PC-) It's wikipedia Ramen-kun!
Naruto: Okay… on the third spot comes… hmp. This category should be "Ramen-kun's most pissing picks!" it suits Sasuke-teme as number 1 and this guy too… I don't like their attitude!
Sakura: It's just because they're cool and you're not!
Naruto: "Ramen-kun's most pissing picks!"
Baaaaaaaaaam!!
Sakura: we're looking for a great guy worthy of Guess-who-gal-san's choice!
Naruto: (-kneads his head-) hai… It's Hyuuga Neji.
Sakura: He's already 16 years old now and he's the genius Hyuuga Neji of the Hyuuga Clan! He's the first one to be a Jounin among us on his batch and well…
Naruto: he's really pissing me everytime he looks at me with his white eyes… he reminds me of Sasuke…
Sakura: hmmm… do you know his hobby?
Naruto: picking flowers?!
Kriiiiiiing!! Kriiiing!!
Sakura:Oh! We have a caller!
Naruto: Moshi, moshi?
Caller: I'll rip your spine out and will make you my punching bag after the show…
Naruto: (freaked out) Whaaaaa!! Who's this?!
Caller: The flower-picking-guy.
Naruto: NOOOOOOOO!! HE'S LISTENING!!
POOF!!
Neji: So you're Ramen-kun huh… way too obvious.
Sakura: Oh! We have a special guest here!!
Naruto: sexy no jutsu!!
POOF!
Naruto: who's Ramen-kuuuuun?! (Sweet voice) I can't see him… where did he go?
Kakashi: (Looking through the thick smoke) hmmm…. Nice. (Nosebleed)
Neji: Hakkesho Kaiten!! (Eight Trigram Palms Heavenly Spin)
Naruto: (Flying top the other side of the room) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
Neji: Ramen-kun left already so I'm here, Neji, to substitute.
Sakura: Hai! So how does it feel to be on the number three list of the 'cool and mysterious' category?
Neji: It sucked. I should be the first one on the ranking.
Sakura: (-Jaw drop-) I can't believe this guy…
Neji: well, on the fourth spot, we have Sai from Team Kakashi… I don't like this one.
Sakura: yeah… he's some kinda bad-mouthed.
You have a small penis (referring to Naruto)
Neji: but no wonder… he looks like Uchiha.
Sakura: Hmp. Sasuke-kun's a lot way better than him!
Kakashi: On the fifth spot, we have Aburame Shino.
Neji/Sakura: (-froze-) No comment.
Kakashi: Urgh… he's compatible for girls who are nature lovers… I guess… heheh.
Sakura: well, for our e-mail sender, if you don't like serious and cool guys like—
Neji: (-smirks-) me…
Sakura: Urgh… yeah… if you don't like guys like Neji, you can try these guys on the "Cheerful and loud" category… so the first one is Uzumaki Naru—
Naruto: (grabs the mic) Hell yeah! This very handsome, brave and cool guy from Konoha must be on the number one overall spot!! He loves ramen and is a very talented and skilled ninja!!
Neji: He's an idiot.
Sakura: …a pervert.
Naruto: KAKA-SENSEI!! THEY'RE BULLYING ME!! (watery eyes… begging for help)
Kakashi: No comment.
Sakura: but he's a very reliable friend…. He protects the one he loves and treasures friendship more than anything else. (smile)
Naruto: Aw! That's so sweet!
Neji: He's still a loud mouth that talks non-sense…
Naruto: You….!! (pops a clone and started doing a ball of rasengan)
Neji: Jyuuken!!
Naruto: (Flies outside the studio) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
Sakura: Next is Inuzuka Kiba.
Neji: He's a dog-smelling one.
Sakura: You're so mean, Neji…
Kakashi: Well, I don't think girls who are normal suits his taste… you must be 'wild' to be compatible with him…
Sakura: he's 16 years old now and his birthday is on the 7th of July, hobby: walking his dog around the village…
Sakura: Next is Rock Lee from Team Gai… Huh? There's a note here… hmm…. He said "na-ah! I'm already taken…" Ah… I see so Rock Lee's disqualified because he is already taken by…
Na-ah! I'm already taken by Sakura-chan… we love each other you know! My lotus!! I will not make my lovely lotus jealous!!
Sakura: (Veins popping) GRRRRRRRAWR!! ROCK LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!
Neji: Next here is the 'not-too-late category'
Sakura: Well on the first spot is… (Glares at Kakashi) …a pervert.
Neji: You're still single?!
Kakashi: yeah. That's why I'm always reading Icha Icha Make out Tactics.
Sakura: I think we should skip that one. Next is… errr—read this one for me Neji… it makes me wanna puke!
Neji: (Grabs the paper) Err… Maito Gai. He has a special request…
Anbu guys: EEEEWWW!! (They became dizzy)
Sakura: What's the request?
Neji: since he's my sensei, he told me that he really like to be a bachelor so he prepared a sound clip for girls to know him more… he said this tape includes the real 'Gai'
Sakura: (gets the tape) okay… so let's play it…
Gai: Well!! Hello there, my dear fans!! Hahaha!! I know this time will come that a group of Anbu nins will come to me and ask me to be a bachelor!!
Gai: Lee!!
Lee: Gai-sensei!!
Gai: Lee!!
Lee: Sensei!! (will run into each other's arms—sunset and waves on the background)
Gai: The time has come!! (punching the air)
Lee: Uhn! (nod) You're such a great man sensei!! You're so manly and macho and everything!!
Gai: ahahaha!! I know you think the same things as the girls out there!! I know I'm soo ideal to be chased compared to my eternal rival KAKASHI who, they say, is more handsome and good-looking than me!!
Lee: It's not true, sensei!!
Gai: SO IF YOU'RE LISTENING KAKASHI… I CHALLENGE YOU TO SHOW THE POWER OF YOUTH!! I'M CHALLENGING YOU TO A MATCH OF MASCULINITY!! LET'S SEE WHO WILL GET THE MOST VOTES!!
Lee: You're single and available, sensei! Show the girls out there your talent!
Gai: Hmmmm!! (Smiles) Okay… ehem… (Clears his throat)
(start singing) Everybody goes Kung-fu fighting!!
Lee: hyaaaaaaah!! (punches the air with the classic Bruce Lee look)
Gai: Those cats are fast as lightning!!
Lee: Whoooh! (Kicks the air)
Gai: hahahaha!! How's that my eternal rival?!
Lee: You sure are very manly and very macho and something sensei!!
Gai: ahahahaha!! Don't flatter me Lee! I'm embarrassed!!
Neji: (Stops the tape) what the hell.
Sakura: yeah. What the hell was that?
Kakashi: Gai is Gai…
Sakura: Demo… seriously… (Both boys will look at her) we should not force ourselves to find that 'one-true-love'…
Kakashi/Neji: "…"
Sakura: I believe that everybody has their own destiny to fulfill and the 'one' for us will come along the way… I know that it's really saddening—the fact that you think of yourself as an abnormal person because you lack on that 'love-thing' or the admiration but will it be great to find that someone meant for you by chance and not by force?
Neji: (Clears his throat) I think I should agree with you on that matter Cherry-san…
Kakashi: Me too. Maybe you should go out more often and try to socialize with other people so that finding 'the one' will be easier… and if you're still young and do have a sexy body, you could wear sexy outfits, mini skirts revealing your sexy—
Sakura/Neji: (deadly glare at Kakashi)
Kakashi: Well, that's only an opinion from an old man like me…
Sakura: You don't have to force yourself too much just to have someone special… I know that in the right place and on the right time, he'll find you. "Do not search for love… let true love find you" as the saying goes… I really believe that you're meant for somebody… and I wish you happiness in love!
Neji: and please cross me out on the list… I'm not into relationships and it does not interest me…
Sakura: Well, then! I hope somehow we helped you—and for the choices we've mentioned… well, I hope it somehow gave you hope! (and remember that Sasuke-kun is MINE!! ALL MINE!!) so for you guess-who-gal-san, here's the song Wait For Me by Rebecca St. James… hope you'll like it…
Darling did you know that I
I dream about you
Waiting for the look in your eyes
When we meet for the first time
Sakura: I know you will find that guy who will love you for who you are and the one who will make you happy someday… :)
Darling did you know that I
I pray about you
Praying that you will hold on
And keep your loving eyes only for me
Neji: Hm. I should not be saying this but since I'm here… well I guess it's not something you should worry about. Love is not that simple like finding something then when you're done, you'll throw it away…
Cause I am waiting for
Praying for you darling
Wait for me too
Wait for me as I wait for you
Neji: love is not just mere happiness—maybe Kami-sama thinks it's not the right time for you to experience pain. Everything has their own time—and your love, I know it will come to you very soon…
Cause, I am waiting for
Praying for you darling
Wait for me too
Wait for me as I wait for you
Kakashi: hey Neji…
Neji: Hn?
Kakashi: You're listening to our radio program huh…
Darling wait…
Darling wait…
Neji: (-blush-)
Sakura: ayiii!! Now I know Neji's also a romantic screwed-up! (throws light punches on Neji's side)
Neji: (-regains composure-) It's not what you're thinking… I just felt like listening… I knew that I would be on your top bishie list today…
Anbu guys: (chorus) BUT THIS LIST IS A TOP SECRET!!
Naruto: (Hanging on the wall upside-down) heheh… you're busted Neji! (Imitatiing Neji's voice and tone) "Everything has their own time—and your love…
Neji: (Veins popping)
Naruto: "I know it will come to you very—"
Neji: Hakke Rokujuyon Sho!! (Eight Trigrams Sixty-Four Palms)
Naruto: (Flies 20 meters above the ground) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
Sakura: well, I hope we still have Ramen-kun on the program tomorrow since he already has 3 broken ribs, one dislocated leg and a swollen face from me and additional body work-out from Hyuuga Neji… well, we will just invite another guest tomorrow if that will happen…
Neji: So then… thank you for listening to Konoha FM's Cherry Hour…
Sakura: See you again next time guys!!
Kakashi: Hey… don't I have a separate portion? I can't believe a flower-picking guy like Neji will be—
Neji: Hakke Hyaku Nijuha Sho!! (Eight Trigrams One Hundred Twenty-Eight Palms)
Kakashi: Aw! (Flies 20 meters above the ground, meeting Naruto)
Notes: aw! I overdid this chapter! It's so long!! That's the reason why Kakashi's portion was well, let's just save that for the next chapter. Hmmm… for the next chapter, we'll have Rational Insanity's problem (yeah... it's the main story for chap 3 since she's the first one to ask! And well, we'll have questions to be answered by the boys in "Konoha Boys 101 Overload" since well, Kakashi and Naruto didn't have a chance to answer questions for this chapter… It's all about boys next chap here on Hey DJ Cherry!)
Sakura: You type too much.
moO: sorry…
Naruto: Yeah… talk about girls who are very high in—
moO: Jyuuken!! (direct hit on the nose)
Naruto: (nosebleed)
Sakura: (-Jaw drop-) whoah… you really are my fan!
Naruto: my nose!! My nose!! My nooooooooooooose!!