Warning: References to sexual fantasies. And sex. Between boys. So slash. Of the Will/Warren variety. A couple 'damn's and one very pissed off telepath.

Disclaimer: Not mine not mine not mine not mine. Promise.

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Think Quietly and Carry A Big Stick

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I had the flu for god knows how long and I was only just returning to classes back at Sky High. I was almost relieved to feel nauseous thanks to Ron Wilson's driving, rather than the little virus particles in me telling my brain they missed the food I'd eaten this morning, so did I mind if it forcibly exited my body through my mouth? I stepped off the bus, a little dizzy but no worse for wear. All of a sudden, it was like a foghorn had blasted my ear drums and I stumbled.

I'd forgotten how loud the whole school was. And I didn't mean talking or laughing or shouting; their thoughts were so damn loud, I could hardly stand it. It was always harder meandering around teenagers - they didn't try to tone down their thoughts and they didn't say half of what they were thinking, so if you can imagine hundreds of TVs, all with their volumes on max, all playing different shows with different plots on different channels in different languages - that's about half of how loud they all were to me.

Usually I had much better control, but I hadn't had to tone down people around me for nearly a week and a half - so I was bound to need a little practice. I winced as someone screeched in their mind and tried to ignore the astronomical amount of bitchy thoughts that were floating around. Hopefully by the end of the day, things would tone down a little. I got jostled through the crowd, nearly dislocating my shoulder as I got slammed into Warren Peace himself. I flashed an apologetic smile and jetted my way down the hallway - no need to tempt fate. If the hothead hadn't melted me within the first two seconds, then I was probably safe, but I wasn't going to risk it.

I hummed a tune as I turned the corner, which drowned out the noise in my head a bit and headed for my History of Heroic Fashion class - we were covering the dos and don'ts of capes today - when suddenly I froze. A few Pennys crashed into me from behind, but I ignored their complaints and insults. It was all I could do not to blush at the flash of thought I'd suddenly gotten. Only a few seconds long, but it was branded into my thoughts.

Someone was thinking about Will Stronghold naked. And not just naked naked. But writhing, whimpering, sweaty sort of naked.

It was on a senseless sort of repeat in my mind and despite how much I wanted to scrub my brain of the image and bleach the whole thing away - the feelings that had come with the image were so intense. There was heat, like the most furious inferno, and pure lust. And yet... an edge of sadness, want. Hopelessness. I'd stumbled into enough thoughts to know that this was someone's fantasy and not a memory. I almost felt bad for the person whose thought it was, but then again - if someone could think something that intense while at school, they needed new classes. Or at least some more time alone at home where they could think about these things - and NOT at school. I huffed. Why couldn't people deal with their hidden desires and carnal lusts at home? Where there weren't any telepaths to go smacking upside the head with stray thoughts?

Really, people were so inconsiderate sometimes.

I shook it off with difficulty and continued to my classes. By third period, I could tell I probably could've done with another day home. The volume on the high school hadn't gone down any, and I was sneezing blasts of sickness every so often. The teachers were getting fed up with how many kids I was mentally infecting with the flu. At least it wasn't permanent, they'd be fine in a period or so.

Fourth period began and I snuck to the back of Mr. Medulla's Mad Science class, in hopes I wouldn't have to pair with anyone. I had to half race Will Stronghold for the back table, but he got held up by that Dayglow kid and I managed to stretch out, taking up the whole lab bench. I hated getting paired with the people in this class. My partners always thought the stupidest things as we did projects and it inevitably distracted me. Once, I was paired with Brad Bronchotti and the entire period I kept getting distracted by his thoughts about his twenty seven cats. Twenty seven. Just plain stupid.

And then another one hit me.

This time, Warren Peace was half naked, pressed up against a wall, biting his lip hard and trying not to make any sounds.

I meeped.

When half of the class turned to look curiously at me, I flushed and waved embarrassedly at the many pairs of eyes staring at me. I didn't dare look to my right, where Warren himself sat at the next table over, paired with Stronghold. I stared intently at the shrinking beam I was supposed to be constructing, but didn't see an inch of it. This fantasy had been tinged with embarrassment and guilt - but still with that note of utter hopelessness. I frowned. Apparently both of the boys had secret admirers - who were really intense with their admiration, but still - and neither boys realized.

I thought of girls and guys who it could possibly be and I couldn't help but feel bad. Poor saps. Warren had the emotional capacity of a thimble as far as I was concerned - not that he didn't have them, but he could barely express them to himself, never mind other people. Trust me, I knew. I had had to tramp through the fog that was his head enough times. And Will had broken up with Mother Earth a while back, but they were both still tight and I got the feeling from Buttercup Sunshine Moonbeam that she wouldn't be exactly welcoming to anyone who tried it with her best-friend-turned-boyfriend-turned-ex-turned-little-brother.

I tried to pay attention to Medulla the rest of the class, but I kept getting weird memory/fantasy flashes of the two boys - one of Warren smiling brightly and widely, displaying perfect white teeth. Another of Will laughing so hard, he started crying and clutching the stitch in his side. Warren tugging his long hair out of his face into a ponytail, drawing attention to the long, lean lines of his neck. Will licking his lips slowly, an unconscious nervous habit. I bounced in my chair, eager to get the hell out of the room. It was clearly someone in there, but the thoughts of the entire class were so jumbled and nonsensical that I couldn't pick anyone out.

Please please please please, I begged the clock, staring at it intently. I had to get the hell out of here before these visions drove me to madness. It was all fine and well when it was just you in your head, but when you were competing with other people to be the commander of your own mind, it got a little crazy-making.

The minute the bell sounded, I was out of my seat and racing for the front of the room, but I got held up by that kid Charlie who could chameleon himself into whatever was around him. I ignored the urge to shove him out of the way as he pulled a few tricks for his friends, but managed to breathe through the murderous rage that was building. Besides, the feelings had stopped now that I was closer to this group and all I got were stray thoughts about new cell phones and dates and homework. Much easier to deal with.

The class slowly drifted out of the room and I found myself caught in the back, behind both Peace and Stronghold. I winced at the thought of being near them when I'd seen them so... personally before, and held my breath as I brushed between them, hoping like hell that-

It was like someone had swung a hammer into my forehead. That was how intense the vision I got from the two of them. I hissed and held my head, clenching my eyes against the image as my face boiled with embarrassment.

Now it was Will writhing beneath Warren, who was placing sucking wet kisses down his chest as hands roamed and clothes flew everywhere. "Gah gah gah!" I cried, scrubbing at my eyes with my hands. "Get out!" It was only when I opened my eyes did I realize that Peace and Stronghold were both staring at me like I was crazy. Which was entirely possible, but now I had a much better clue as to where all these visions were coming from.

Both of them. Together. About each other. So, I had no problem at all with boy-kissing, or even boy-sexing. What I did have a problem with was the fact that they were both punching me in the face with their own unresolved feelings. They could go make out in any corner they wanted, as long as I didn't have to deal with them having noisy, raunchy sex in my head in the middle of class. People had no manners anymore, seriously.

I glared at both Peace and Stronghold, who stared wide-eyed at the crazy, angry telepath girl. "Stay the hell away from me," I said, poking them each in the chest hard (though I'm sure I probably hurt myself a hell of a lot more, poking a chest of steel and a chest whose temperature seemed to be set around 'inferno') as I enunciated each word. "And think a lot less loudly, alright?" With that, I huffed my way out of the classroom and down the hall.

Lunch was next and I clung to my best friend Craig, who was a calm pool of serenity in the chaos that pounded at the edges of my mind. I don't know what it was, but Craig simply thought in colors. Bright, clear, perfect colors that overwhelmed everything else. Red was anger and yellow was happiness and deep blue was sadness. Emerald green meant envy and soft mint was contentment. Right now, he was exuding a perfect sky blue of tranquility and I was basking in it.

"And then I try to sneak by both of them at the same time, by accidentally brushing them both, and I got a double whammy!"

Alright, so maybe I was basking and gossiping. A girl could do both, no?

"So Peace and Stronghold?" Craig mused, casting his gaze over to the table where the Hothead, Muscle Mass, Princess Moonbeam Tree Hugger, Punk Rock Guinea Pig, Dayglow and Popsicle were all sitting. (The nicknames were affectionate ones, I swear. If you went two weeks at Sky High without getting a new one, you were doing something very wrong.) I nodded my affirmation and he made another noise of consideration. "Well, it certainly seems a better idea than Brawn Without Brains and Hugs Without Hatred." I snorted and grabbed my sloppy joe and milk carton.

"You can say that now, but when Inferno is raining fire and brimstone down on the school because Captain Buff forgot their anniversary again, I will proudly declare an 'I told you so'." Craig chuckled and paid. We both made our way across the cafeteria, getting detoured only twice by people asking if I'd read the answers to the English test out of the teacher's mind. I wish but teachers were so much better at shielding than the students and it was a rare day I could sneak something out of any of them.

We drew close to the Dream Team table and Daffodil Rainbow Starshine was in an intense conversation with Stronghold over something I was clueless about. Blazing Boy actually looked interested in what Guinea Girl was saying and I released a sigh of relief. There was no way either of them had the capacity to think about-

Warren was begging, arching his back as his hands scrambled to find purchase on what I was assuming was Stronghold's sweaty naked back. I heard wicked low muttering - definitely Stronghold - and Warren hissed.

"Guaahgguhh!" I flailed, throwing my lunch god knows where and Craig blinked at me in surprise before his eyes trailed to Stronghold's table. The entire cafeteria was whispering about me, but I did not care. I was being attacked with their stupid fantasies and if it didn't stop soon, I was going to mind-wipe them all the way back to kindergarten! I stomped over to their table and glared furiously. One by one, the Dream Team turned to look at me. "You," I hissed, shifting my gaze from Peace to Stronghold. "You both will die very intense, painful deaths if you don't just go get a room!" I barely resisted the urge to scream, my voice dropping from a cold tone to a harsh whisper.

"What the hell?" Peace asked, starting to get a little angry and he tried to stand, but I pushed him back down. I silently sent a compulsion to everyone at the table besides Warren and Will, insisting that they definitely were feeling like they had other places to be. Since they probably already wanted to leave, it required very little effort from me to convince them they were needed elsewhere. Seconds later, it was me, Peace and Stronghold, Craig several steps behind me. Whether it was to protect me, or protect the boys, I didn't know and didn't feel like asking.

"Oh, no you don't," I muttered murderously, as I insured that Peace would stay where he was. "This is all your fault you know, I don't really want to know about how much you really want to have your own sexcapades with Macho Muscles over there, so next time - keep the helpful visuals to your own damn self." Peace stared at me wordlessly, mouth opening and closing silently. I shifted my gaze to Will, who was staring at Warren with something like barely concealed hope and lust. Great. Just what this table needed.

"And you, Stronghold, have no room to talk. I'm glad you all have your big gay love all sorted out in your head, but please, if you ever broadcast another fantasy of you licking Furnace Face again, I might just have to kill you. Are we clear?" Will nodded hesitantly and I sighed a huge sigh of relief and smiled at them both. "There, now that that's all settled-"

"Do you really..." Will asked hesitantly of Warren, who gazed back with an unreadable look in his eyes. There was a long pause before the pyro nodded slowly and Will's face broke into a wide, joyous smile, the likes of which I'd never seen.

"And you?" Warren asked in return gruffly. Will flushed an insane red but nodded. Warren smirked and licked his lips. Will somehow flushed more deeply, but returned the smile.

I got the feeling I'd just made everything worse.

"Uh, you guys..." I timidly interjected, as I watched them stare intensely at one another before standing simultaneously. Will started leading the way out of the cafeteria, Warren following extremely closely. "Um, guys?" I reached out a hand to catch Peace's attention, but was blown backwards by the force of lust. I choked it down and moaned as I watched them leave. Craig rested a calming hand on my shoulder and I slumped into him.

"I just ruined everything," I whined, burying my face into my hands. Craig simply chuckled that damn contented chuckle and let his orange-yellow of amusement drown everything else out in my head.

I'm glad someone found this funny; I was going to be stuck with Horny and Hornier for the next six months and it was all my own damn fault.

I knew I should've stayed home today.

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fin

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AN: Sort of had to once the inspiration struck. Hopefully you found it at least a tiny bit amusing. Reviews always make me happy, so please tell me what you think. Thanks!