This chapter took freakishly long, unfortunately, as I haven't managed to play MotB in recent months and quite a lot of stuff happened. In any case, the chapter is here. This time, for impact, I cut its length to one scene only and it's likely that the following chapters will be this length as well, to keep them from dragging on. I might even split the preceding chapters into two, if someone suggests it as a good idea.

In any case, the long-awaited chapter is here, with the scene most people have been hoping for!

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Chapter XI: Loneliness

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"Everybody dreams."

o.O.o

The return journey to Mulsantir – and, through that, to Thaymount – was unbroken, allowing for a single stop that was undertaken for, from a logical point of view, the thoroughly nonsensical reason of rescuing Anya from herself. In the face of the problems they were encountering daily and the fact that, despite the generous supply of spirits in the Skein, Neliel appeared a little sicker and a little paler, this was no more than a fly might be an annoyance to an elephant.

At least, that was what Safiya thought and what she mentioned once or twice, muttering under her breath. As Okku merely viewed it as strange rituals of humans and Kaelyn was too wrapped up in her own thoughts to notice anything, she was outvoted two to one.

The farmer greeted them no warmly than before, even when they pointed out that this time, they might rescue Anya from her daze. Evidently, he had lost hope not only in them, but in having his daughter brought back to the world of full consciousness.

This time, Anya was sleeping with her head on the table; if the food had still been there, it might have been comical. For some reason, though, the sleep seemed heavier than last time, even to the Red Wizard, who knew nothing of such things. Kaelyn, in the meantime, sat down on the nearest surface near the window and found, entirely by accident, a small book which appeared to be a diary. No wonder Anya had such an active imagination if she was educated enough to read and write, despite the isolation their farm provided.

There is a world within one's thoughts, one that you can shape like clay. she read while the others appeared to be arguing how to best use the Eye Gulk'aush had given them. All it takes is the right guide... and I have found him. He is the walker, the one who stirs eddies in his wake, the one who fishes in dreams and hooks new hopes. He is Gannayev, dream-walker, who grants blessings with his lips and his smile. He walks Rashemen in my waking hours, then slips back when I fall asleep. Yes, but he is with me always. He is never far, not at all. He came to visit us once in the waking hours, slept in our stable. I had a terrible fight with father about it, felt it was rude to treat a guest such a way. And such a handsome guest. And that was the first night that Gannayev visited me - the first of many, and each time, he shows me more…

When she brought this entry to the attention of the others, there was a moment of uncomfortable silence. It was Neliel, the one everyone was watching for a reaction, who silently sat down in the chair furthest from Anya and pulled out the amulet Sheva Whitefeather had given her.

"Given the spiritual nature of their magic, it might help us along the way." she noted, gripping it tightly and allowing her own power to flow freely through it. The amulet glowed beautifully, if eerily, which was close to a reflection of the elf herself.

"I still can't help but think our time would be better spent going to Mulsantir and not… dreaming." Safiya said, feeling a bit sheepish with having to make such a comparison.

"Use a Sleep spell on the both of us. It'll be faster."

Knowing how quick the both of them had worked previously, even the Red Wizard was forced to concede.

Gann placed his hand over Neliel's while she held the Eye, which counted as a very strange experience for the elf. In comparison to what she was used to, at least. She could still remember how the moment he had kissed her – a first for her and she didn't regret a thing – had felt.

Out of the corner of her eye, Kaelyn saw this, but her placid expression remained fixed. Okku had chosen to keep watch outside. And even with just the two of them watching over the dreamers, nothing from the real world would harm them.

"All right, then." Safiya sighed, conceding. "Please try not to resist this."

With the Eye in place, the Dreamscape they already knew appeared slightly less fog-filled, slightly closer to their own perception. Theirs, however, wasn't the leading power here. While Gann forced his attire to appear as what it had been prior to the change the dream was firmly trying to enforce, Neliel wasn't confident enough in her strength to waste it on adjusting her clothes. Thus her wizarding robe seamlessly morphed into a similarly colored garment that this time was most definitely a dress.

She glanced down at it with mild bemusement, since it was highly impractical in the event they got into a conflict – which was more than likely. It also left her unarmed, but she didn't want to intimidate the girl and therefore decided to not materialize a weapon… yet. Magic worked in this world as well as it did in the real one.

And with the braid gone, for the first time in a long time – for the first time since the beginning of their acquaintance, Gann could testify – the elf looked unmistakably female. It rather suited her, too, though the hagspawn could admit to being possibly somewhat biased on the matter.

They glanced at one another briefly to assure themselves that they hadn't by some accident strayed too far away, which would only cause unnecessary complications.

Even searching for their target was rather unnecessary this time. The landscape was almost unnecessarily picturesque, to the point of obscenity. Like a fairytale out of the mind of a really simple child. The skies were periwinkle blue, the forest all shades of pleasant green, not a leaf out of place. One half-expected birds to start singing nursery songs in chirpy, cheery voices.

Neliel, graduate from Daeghun's Realistic Nighttime Tales, No Fairytales Allowed, was beginning to feel somewhat nauseous. Even Gann, who specialized at times in creating fairytales for others, could practically taste sugar just by looking around.

The real test of endurance started when the sound of voices reached them.

"Oh, Sir Gannayev." It was indeed Anya's voice, as dream-filled as it had been when she first woke. The way she accented the first syllable would have been honest in a saint, a lunatic or a very small child. Anya was none of that, at least they both hoped.

What was even more disturbing, though, was the voice that replied. In pitch and timbre, it might have been nearly identical to Gann's.

"Yes, my dearest Anya?"

Might have been. It was too attentive, too strong, too focused on something that would never have gained such attention from the actual hagspawn.

It disturbed both of them, the strength of this illusion, making them hasten their stride. The walk wasn't long; in the middle of a picturesque clearing, the figure of Anya stood, misty-eyed and dazed, next to someone who was Gann yet wasn't. his clothing was different and one felt as if they were looking through mist when gazing upon him.

"Nothing. I simply love saying your name."

The apparition's smile turned kind, but not artificial. It was odd to see, this lack of bitterness that reality could bring. Neliel had seen it only once before on the hagspawn's face and it had taken much more than a lovesick phrase to conjure it up.

"And it pleases my ears to hear it, my love."

The actual Gann almost felt his knees wobble out of sheer revulsion. Just to be on the safe side, he touched the elf's shoulder, almost leaning on for support. "I do believe it is the taste of bile that's rising in my throat. I may be ill, stand away."

All he did to aid her in that endeavor was briefly turn away.

However, his very feeble attempt to lower his voice didn't go unnoticed by the pair of lovebirds, which was easier than any introduction. Neliel doubted they could have created a plausible one anyway.

"What? Who is there?"

With gallantry that was starting to affect even Neliel's stomach (which said something, as she had been given the paladin treatment more than often) dream-Gann stepped before his distressed damsel.

"Stand back, my love, I shall protect you."

That, for Gann, was the last stroke. "Protect her?" When the line got crossed – as in this case, apparently – the hagspawn certainly didn't bother hiding his contempt. "By the spirits, she's the cause of all this! And you..."

Anya blinked; the dream hadn't taken over her senses completely yet and though she could no longer tell what was real and that was not, she could recognize the face of her love anywhere.

"Gannayev?" Bewildered, she glanced from one to the other, failing to find any difference. "How can there be two of you?"

"Do you know this half-blooded mongrel, my love?" Neliel, for her part unnoticed and uninvolved at the moment, noticed the delicate crease on his brow and the tightening of his voice. Among them, she was the expert on jealousy.

"Mongrel?!" Gann scoffed indignantly. "What does that make you? A half of a half?"

"Have a care with your words, villain, or I shall make you dine upon them!"

Truth to be told, while the voice might have resembled the original, the copy's manner was a complete contradiction. Disturbing as that was for one's concentration, magical or otherwise, the wizard chose to ignore it for the time being and focus on the source. That being Anya.

The poor girl was still trying to make sense of things, her eyes flicking from fantasy to reality, unable to discern between them.

"This is our home, where we are able to be alone without father seeing..." she was muttering to herself, at least partly so. "I found this glade one night, while-"

"While you walked the borders of sleeping and waking, yes, yes, I know how this came about." the real Gann interrupted with a dismissive hand in the air. "My mistake was that I didn't realize that you possessed such power, Anya - an oversight, but I cannot be perfect in all things." Part of those words was filled with sneering contempt for what he rightly considered a weak imitation. "Now this fantasy of yours must end - that Gann there, he is a fantasy you have conjured up, and he is becoming a wedge between you and the waking world, Anya. He also has terrible fashion sense, and the nose is all wrong." he added after a moment, his own nose wrinkling in a scowl.

That behavior wasn't in accordance with the way Anya had dreamed things up. And in the face of a reality she didn't know, she would obviously select the dream. "I do not know who you are, but you are not the Sir Gannayev I know."

"I should hope not!" Gann scoffed, close to horrification. "You can't seem to get me right from the looks of it."

"Anya, I believe this thing is here to hurt us - stand away from him, I shall handle this."

"That's quite enough of that." The elf gently raised her hand and, with the slightest magic push, raised the temperature of the weapon the dream apparition was reaching for. "Anya, listen carefully. Your escaping into this so-called magical forest has caused your perception of reality to change."

"You… you're that witch! The one who tried to trick me before!" Anya cried, resembling with her pointed finger and wide eyes a rather surprised fish. "What are you doing here? How did you get to our glade?"

Neliel decided that to argue distinctions between witches, who received their powers from the study of the land and wizards, who studied lore and conducted experiments in a scientific manner would be redundant at this point of time. Especially if her listener was to be a person so far from being her academic equal.

"I am here because you met me in the waking world and therefore can be certain that I am no projection of your own mind. Now, you will listen to us so that we can help you."

"You sound like father, and I need no help." the farm girl noted indignantly, though her previous anger was gone. After all, her beloved was at her side. And besides… "And how can I know that you're not the one misleading me? I know of the magic of wizards and the like!"

"Do not waste words on these intruders, Anya... something is wrong here, and I think these others may mean us harm."

"Your father worries for your health." The elf pointedly ignored the imitation of Gann and took a cautious step towards the girl. Mechanically, she blinked, knowing that the stare of her jewel-like eyes was more intimidating than mesmerizing. "One of you must be corrected if things are to return to normal."

"Who are you to decide what is right for beloved Anya?"

For the briefest ludicrous instant, Gann actually wondered if Neliel cared sufficiently about the situation to bring up her own failed idealization of a man. However, that went far too much against her own sense of privacy; as far as the hagspawn was aware, only he himself had managed to breach that barrier, and even then by backing her into a corner.

Saying nothing, whether due to pointedly ignoring the one posing the question or because of lack of an answer, was the wrong move now, though.

"I have listened to father continually accuse my beloved of crimes, of hurting me, and now he sends others to find us and drag me back - away from my love." Anya proclaimed, with the abandon towards an illusion only the truly fooled could project.

"I am with you, my love."

"Then prove me wrong or prove yourself blind." Neliel challenged, finally glancing at the illusion the farmgirl's overactive imagination had created so readily. "Appearance is one thing. To actually be a person, you must have the personality, the memory, and abilities. Otherwise I refuse to believe your Sir Gannayev is real."

"Well, of course Sir Gannayev is real." Anya said, blinking rather blankly.

"Prove it."

"What in the name of the spirits are you doing?" Gann snapped irritably. Goading an instable girl and the pompous pseudo personification of her fantasy through acknowledging its existence was dangerous business. Especially since he didn't see how this was helping things. "Don't give him any more reality, or we're in trouble."

"No we're not." Neliel actually shot him a mild smile. "Because Anya is the one in control here. And therefore won't mind a small demonstration."

"We cannot play her game, she has already dreamed up her answers." Gann objected. The girl knew next to nothing about him and there would be no persuading her otherwise.

Hells, they could have a love-declaration contest right now and her besotted simple mind wouldn't be able to tell apart true poetry from empty phrases. And, in any case, he wasn't certain he would have been able to say it with sufficient dazzle after this humiliation.

"Imagine this glade; the sky, the trees, the soil beneath your feet… imagine yourself standing here all alone."

Perhaps out of defiance, perhaps out of a desire to be left alone, Anya complied, closing her eyes and starting to focus. One might have imagined that the world would have swirled in a mass of fiery sparks. Not even mist swirled up in the sickeningly picturesque surroundings. It was more as if within the span of a blink, the apparition vanished out of existence, as if it had never stood there.

"Oh!" Anya, at last opening her eyes, gave a girlish gasp and covered her mouth. "Where is Sir Gannayev?"

Just as she spoke the name, the image of her love likely popped into her mind reflexively and the image of her creation sprang back into existence.

"What? But I am right h-"

The image faded from the world just as Anya willed it to (though highly unwillingly).

"But-"

Again and again the image vanished and appeared, whichever the girl willed.

"He's right over here." Neliel noted, gesturing to the very real hagspawn at her side. "The real one, that is." Which meant, of course, that she had to be real as well, since Anya wouldn't have included her in any dream of hers if she could help it, most likely.

It was a cleverly played game, allowing the girl to see the difference between dream and reality. Anya swayed a bit, but managed to stay standing once she realized that this didn't mean Gann didn't exist; merely that he didn't exist in the way she wished him to.

The hagspawn decided to take over now, as words of consolation weren't something cold logic could offer. "Anya, you are powerful, powerful enough to shape another me from your own dreams, which is no small feat considering how much of me there is to take in." Her part of the task done right now, the elf appeared not to be listening, but the manner in which her lips twitched was proof enough of what she would likely say if they were without an audience at that point. "But you are also powerful enough to unmake such doppelgangers, if you choose - but they are dream specters only, with no substance."

She didn't understand yet, especially from the way her subconscious kept calling the fantasy back and forth. "I- but he was real, he was right h-"

"What happened? Where did I go? Anya! Did they h-"

A few more tries later, even she began ignoring her own creation. "So he can simply go away when I choose?"

"What? What do you m-"

And, to the genuine surprise of the pair of observers, the dreamer giggled girlishly; perhaps at the faint popping sound (like bubbles vanishing) only she could hear. "Oh, that is fun."

Gann, though somewhat amused as well, didn't really think that continued association with a girl of this mindset was in his particular interest. Not that such attitude towards a fractured fairytale (or a dysfunctional one, more like it) was anything he couldn't approve of, but, her strength aside, this wasn't a place he felt at home.

"Don't strain yourself, though - shaping such an entity and letting him persist has dangers." He could have reshaped the creature into a nightmarish monster, should he have chosen to (or should the imposter have annoyed him too much). He was now somewhat grateful that the chance of Neliel adopting such an approach or even knowing about it were rather small.

"So you were... you were never here at all?" Anya intoned sadly, glancing at her feet. At least she wasn't trying to hold on to her illusions, as a weaker mind might have done.

"No, Anya, I was not." The hagspawn noted simply, just as his counterpart flashed into existence one last time.

"- love you, Anya! I am only whole when you are around!"

The actual Gann didn't even bother rolling his eyes, which was likely the last thing the other saw before vanishing permanently. "Revolting - and so unimaginative."

Finally, Anya swayed slightly, dropping onto a nearby log and shaking her head ruefully. The hagspawn glanced at Neliel, who had remained silent for a surprising amount of time. She seemed content to remain watching the events play out in their own pace.

"I've been such a fool for a Gann I've created out of nothingness." Anya murmured. She made a move as if to rub her eyes, but then steeled herself. "It's time for me to wake up now." she said then, her eyes rising to meet those of the rather contemplative wizard facing her.

This time, dream melted into reality rather seamlessly, which was a confusing experience. To find oneself sitting at a table of what appeared to be a rather absent-minded dinner party with a Red Wizard of Thay looming over you and attempting to see if you're awake or not wasn't something even Neliel had experienced before. However, for her lack of experience with waking up from living dreams in strange manners, she dealt with the situation rather gracefully.

"You certainly took your time this time around." Safiya noted as the elf blinked, her eyes remarkably dry. It wasn't worth mentioning to her that while she held the eye of the hag, she had slept with eyes wide open, like the very image of the dead.

The elf, feeling the first spasm of starvation of a horrible kind passing through her, gave a cracked half-grin. "Wizards are never late or early. We come exactly when we mean to."

"And just in time, it seems." She didn't even ask Neliel if she needed help and instead draped the elf's arm over her shoulder in order to support her and get her up. It helped that Neliel was somewhat shorter than her and quite light; also, she seemed to have the twisted idea that she could still walk on her own. "No more of this suppressing nonsense. You need spirits, now."

"There should be some brandy in that cupboard…"

"In the literal sense of the word." Kaelyn explained to the rather dazed Anya, who still hadn't completely recovered from her dream. However, she obviously couldn't know what they were talking about and decided to leave it at that.

"Where's Okku?"

"On the prowl, no doubt; he couldn't stand the idleness. There will be angry spirits where he goes; we should find him, get you some sustenance and continue back to Mulsantir."

"Um…" Safiya glanced at Anya with a little less patience than she would usually have bestowed someone so insignificant to their quest. In her mind, even going out of their way in such a manner was too spectacular a delay, but here they were. "Would it be too much trouble if I spoke to Gannayev before you go?" she asked hopefully.

The spirit shaman, who was practically closest to the door, peered at her quizzically, then glanced at the weakened form of their leader with mild concern.

"Just for a few moments." Anya added quickly, sensing the urgency of their departure. "I mean… while you find your friend, maybe? And help her, of course."

Judging by the weight of the stares from everyone else in the room – excluding Neliel, who was focusing her energy on not getting her inner unease take control – Safiya guessed quite correctly that the mantle of leadership had been thrown at her for the temporary indisposition of their actual leader. She looked at the girl, then at Gann, who was still observing their leader in a strangely passive manner, then at Neliel, whose eyes were shut tight one moment and then gleaming with the kind of light one attributed to cobras about to strike.

"If you must." the Red Wizard conceded wearily, quite glad to see that Kaelyn was coming to help her support Neliel, whose legs seemed to be made of stone when she walked. It did make the going out of a door more problematic, but at least, once they were out, they managed to get the elf back to her feet.

Of course, it could have been the smell of spirits not too far away that got her going.

Inside the cottage, Gann relaxed briefly. With the sight of Neliel so weakened away, he wasn't certain whether he should feel more at ease or more troubled. It was disturbing to see her rendered powerless by anything and he had certainly seen enough of her knocked into unconsciousness for the rest of his life and beyond. It wasn't something he wished to witness again. Actually, truth to be told…

"Gannayev?"

…he would be willing to go out of his way for her well-being if the situation required it just to feel the spark of warmth that had been ignited by her lips rekindled.

For the moment, though, he had to finish the business brought upon them all by his own carelessness – partly – and then worry about how to convince a woman with cold logic in her veins and magic weaved in her skin that he intended to keep her.

"Are you all right, Anya?" His voice was gentler now, perhaps fuelled by the anticipation for the no doubt amusing confrontation to come and the memory of the nights before.

"I feel... strange, but... alive." Anya felt her words were too lame to do things justice, but she had never mastered the poetic way of speaking Sir Ga-… Gannayev always brought to perfection. "Everything seems brighter, but there is a strange fringe around it..."

Gann nodded. He, too, had once experienced this awakening and now knew how to deal with it. "It is the fabric of thoughts, of dreams you are seeing. You will come to ignore it in time, and see it only when you wish." At last, he fully brought his mind to the present, squirming a bit under the inquisitive gaze of the girl – for the first time, perhaps. "You... are strong, Anya, I am shamed I did not see it before."

She didn't understand why. "I am the one who feels shamed. I fooled myself with the idea of you, didn't I?" Anya felt miserable. Not only had she not believed the actual Gannayev, she had insulted his companions. How could she face them again?

"There is no blame to be had, and if there is, it should not be born by you. Dreams are... a difficult thing to master, and now you are aware of what you can do." The hagspawn paused. Certainly no harm would come to the girl again, even if she wished to create her own fantasies. If one day he could share such things with Neliel, he would be grateful. Logic was difficult to incorporate into dreams and therefore the elf had more or less been an observer so far. But if she allowed, she could be taught. Even her. "And you will find the fields of the sleeping world are now yours to travel."

Again, Anya glanced at her feet, her voice a sad murmur. "But you will not be there, will you?"

"Not as the Gann you imagined, no." And thank the spirits for that. If he ever caught himself speaking in that manner, he would personally shoot himself. Or perhaps he could ask Safiya to disintegrate him, but who knows how she might abuse such a privilege? A good shake might be just as good. "But if you travel dreams, then I hope we will cross paths again. Hope makes its home in such places, and always has."

"I see. Thank you – you and your companions. You saved me from myself, and I will not forget this. I hope… I hope the lady can forgive me for the things I said… I didn't mean them, not really." Anya momentarily felt like a girl half her age caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Fortunately, Gann's smile, if indulgent this time, still had a soothing effect on her.

"I will convey your apologies to her. She usually keeps a 'forgive and forget' policy as long as no harm was done."

"I suppose… in a way, I needed this." Anya speculated, then shook her head at her own childishness. She still hadn't outgrown her fantasies, apparently. "It's silly… I always dreamt that a prince would come and rescue me from this farm one day… and in the end, my own daydreaming had trapped me." Another sigh escaped her lips. "I'm a fool."

"Everybody dreams. But with your power, you mustn't allow the dreams to control you. You are the one who walks through them, much like the wind passes through a landscape. You alter some things, subtly, but the essence of both must remain the same."

"Yet you are changed. I can… see… that you are more at peace… somehow." Anya squinted briefly, but then gave up on that. However, the silence that became her answer was something she viewed as confirmation of her theory. It's because of that woman, isn't it? You do not answer. Do you believe I still bear her ill will?" Certainly, part of her envied the princesses in books, but the reasonable, rational part of her remembered that being a princess meant having a dragon hold you hostage. "Gannayev, I loved the you I dreamed up. I think… no, I know that she sees the real you… and loves you nonetheless."

"She is a puzzling creature, a riddle perhaps to even herself." But she hadn't resisted and had said, quite clearly, that she wasn't averse to the very thought of him. There was a person under the ice, one that was slowly being brought to the surface, chipping one block off at a time.

"You remind me of myself now, how I was when I first met you." Anya's smile turned serious with her words. "Know her before you love her. I think… I think she dreamt of being alone in the world for a long time."