He smiled and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, lips twitching in an uncertain grin, eyes so blue and wide and deep.

Now its time

I lift my arm slowly, gingerly, unused to what I'm about to do. I hold out my hand and wait expectantly. My pulse is erratic yet sluggish, my body still suffering the toils of my ordeal. I can't stop staring at his eyes. The eyes that saved me more than once. Those eyes that have never changed after these past few years even if his body had grown leaner, more muscular, even if his hair is more tousled than before, ruffling in the slight breeze that is constantly present in the Wind country.

I fear to tell what I've been holding it back so long

I remember that utterly white void and that tiny glimmer of my reflection (or was it me?) in the distance. It was the same again, all alone, enveloped in silence. There was no hurt or pain or anger or grief this time. I was just… just me.

He had come running when I finally decided to relax and let myself fade into… whatever. He had come running, yelling my name at the top of his lungs and it echoed so loudly. His voice echoed and bounced all the way back to my past, my childhood, back to the sandy desert in which I hid to cry, echoed back to the desolate barrier that always surrounded me. His voice slammed into those barriers and bought them crashing down, ripping and shredding everything apart.

But something strange deep inside of me is happening

He was so tiny. He was a tiny figure wearing a tiny black shirt; a tiny boy without the headband or the orange sweater. Those eyes were haunted and smooth as glass. He neared and that figure was taller now, with that orange sweater now, with his headband fading into view, secure on his forehead. His eyes were softer now, gleaming, shining, so bright and vast, the eyes that told me the true meaning of love.

I feel unlike I've ever felt

The figure reached down and clasped me on the shoulder. I turn and realize that I had been crouching over, with all the barren land of my country around me. I realize that the figure was even taller now, even towering over me, orange sweater now partially black, his eyes still so blue.

And it's making me scared

I open my eyes and he's smiling down at me, smudges of dirt across his cheeks, visibly exhausted. But he's smiling, just like how I always imagined him to be, despite the circumstances. He smiles and tells me I'm not alone. I look around and this time I didn't try to tell myself that he was lying.

That I may not be what I think I am

I still retain some slight control over my previous powers though the monster no longer rages within me. I am still fully aware of that fact; I am stunned still and I can't stop staring at his eyes.

What of us, what do I say?

The sand trickles through his fingers, floating through the air and twirling around his hand gently. The sand nudges his arm upwards and he smiles again. This smile is so different from what I've ever seen before, this soft smile that caused the corners of his eyes to crinkle slightly, this smile that adds a little more light to his eyes.

Are we both from a different world?

I remember him crawling towards on the ground, drained of energy, yet so determined to take me down. All I could do was lie that, terrified, a strange overwhelming panic rising in me. He told me that he knew the pain I felt, the alien pain of being alone. He told me that he would kill me for harming his friends. I listened, and my heart cried.

Because every breath that I take, I breathe it for you

The years had passed. Not smoothly, but they had passed with a sort of calmness. He taught me how to live. Gave me a new reason for my existence. Even my brother recognized that. My brother. How strange to speak the word. I have family now.

I couldn't face my life without you

I saw the strange bird-like things made from clay by Deidara's hands, swooping down towards the village.

And I'm so afraid.

There was no time and I did what I never thought I would. I protected the village. The village that shunned me, used me, created the monster that I was, the monster that I am. I protected the village. I could not protect myself.

There's nothing to comfort us

I wandered the streets or watched the moon. I was young but not innocent. I was already sent on missions before I was Genin and I killed and killed and killed. Blood-drenched, I laugh. There was no night or day. The demon within me laughed.

I don't sleep

I killed.

Don't feel a thing

I killed.

And my senses have all but gone

I killed.

Can't even cry from the pain, can't shed a tear

I watched the children playing ball. I stood and glared and they ignored me and avoided me. I clung to my teddy bear, fingers digging into its fur, tearing into cotton. Sand curled up from the ground and stabbed right through the ball.

Somewhere else, he was watching children play ball as well. He had laughed and scribbled on the walls and stole their ball and ran away. They chased after him; they couldn't ignore him.

I had turned and walked home to my room, strewn with teddy bears and scattered sand. No one chased after me.

Now I realize we're not the same

His hand felt warm in mine, rough with calluses. I no longer had my sand armor and the heat from his palm soaked into my flesh.

So I must let us break free

I try to smile, to express the gratitude that pounded in my head. My lips curve indecisively. He nods and his hand slips from mine. He waves and is walking away, already chattering to the pink-haired girl.

I can never be what you need

I watch the horizon swallow him and his straggling group.

But this is the one impossible dream

He never looked back.

To love

I try to smile again.

What am I, if I can't be yours?