AN: this is my take on Mansfield par. It starts off where Jane left off in ports moth. Remember in my version Henry Crawford never cheated with nasty Maria. I also do not claim that I can write as well as Miss Austen (it's sorely obvious). Please read with an open mind and remember to leave all of you comments. In the famous words of one of my fellow authors: "criticism is love"

She was sitting in the all too cramped drawing room, when she got the shock of her life. The headliner in the society page was about none other than her cousin Maria. To sum it all up, the news paper reported that the young Mrs. Rushworth had ran off with some man. The fact that Maria had jilted her foolish husband was not quite what had astonished Fanny; it was rather the surprise of finding out that she had not run away with Mr. Crawford. Fanny had never believed that the man could change, and she had been expecting him to do something that would prove it to him and everybody else. As she skimmed through the article, she had half hopped that she would find his name. Unfortunately, Maria's latest escapades had nothing to do with Mr. Crawford.

It was with a deep sigh and a heavy heart that she placed the newspaper down on the table and looked out the window. Her thoughts drifted to Mansfield and its inhabitants. She wondered painfully at how the family would take the news, especially Uncle Tom. Fanny knew how much he loved all his children and how it would hurt him to find out how selfish his favorite daughter was. She was sure that Edmund would have the good sense to console him and his mother. Edmund had been very near perfection in her estimation. Ever since they were children he had been her savior. He used to wipe her tears when she missed her family, and he protected her as much as possible from Aunt Morris. In fact it was only until recently, that she had ceased to all but worship him. Ever since the arrival of the Crawfords, everyone had changed (except for Maria, she was still as vain as ever!). Edmund acted like a love sick school boy who could not make up his mind, Cousin Julia became a back stabbing monster and Aunt Morris seemed to have a new found hatred of Fanny! As much as she wanted to hate Miss Crawford, she could not blame her for everything. In fact it was not the woman's fault that her cousin had fallen in love with her. And it was her brother's fault that Julia and Aunt Morris hated her. HE had been the one who had toyed with Julia and Maria's affections, HE had been the one who had out of nowhere asked her to marry him and put her in an awkward position as a result.

She hated him, she told her self. She hated, hated, hated him! Oh who was she lying to, she did not really hate him; she simply could not bring herself to. Fanny admitted to her self that she disliked him greatly though, because he had lied to her family and turned them against her. Why? She asked, why did he have to insist on pretending to love her just so that he could have a laugh? If it hadn't been for him Uncle Tom would have not gotten angry with and sent her away. She could be at Mansfield helping him to accept the unfortunate news. But no! He had to ruin everything! But that's all he did, where ever he went he destroyed every and any one in his path! He didn't even, she thought, have the decency to run away with Maria and let her life go back to normal. Oh what was she saying? She was only angry 

because now she had absolutely no reason to deny him, except of course the fact that he didn't love her and that her heart belonged to Edmund. If only she thought sadly…..

Her thoughts were interrupted though, by her sister Susan's sweet voice.

"Fanny, there is a letter for you"

"Oh really, from whom?" She very well knew who it was from. Unfortunately the only letters she ever got these days were from him.

Susan smiled "your admirer Mr. Cranton, Crawley. Or was it Cranberry. Well what ever his name is, it seems as though he did not write as much as he usually does" she joked with a sly mile on her seemingly innocent face.

Fanny laughed slightly and sighed. "Well hand it over then."

Susan complied. However she did not quit the room. Fanny turned the letter in her hand but set it down on top of the paper without inspecting it further.

"Aren't you going to read it?" Susan asked after a minute or so.

"Not with you gawking, I won't."

"Oh why not Frances?" she wined.

"Because, because it is personal and I … well I don't know. I just need to read it in private." She exclaimed ,flustered.

"I suppose you are right. I am sorry that I was rude to try and intrude." She said lowering her eyes.

"Oh no it's quite alright; I'm not cross with you." Frances didn't like to see such a joyous girl reduced to low spirits. "Come here and give me a hug and maybe I might tell you a bit about the letter tomorrow."

Susan instantly smiled "Really, Fanny?"

"Yes maybe"

And with those encouraging words, little Susan skipped out o f the room leaving Fanny once again to her thoughts.

The rest of the evening fanny tried to act as normal as possible. But the letter kept nagging at her conscious. She sat through dinner not making more that a few monosyllabic responses to questions thrown her way. Fortunately, no one seemed to notice any marked difference in her comportment. After dinner she begged to be excuse complaining about her head. This was not really a lie because she had so much on her mind that was distressing her so. She tried to sleep but her thoughts would not seem to let her. She was sitting up starring at the walls when she finally decided to read his letter. 

Fanny reached under the mattress and tore the seal. As her eyes roved over his neat hand writing she noticed that this one was indeed short.

My dearest Fanny, it began.

I suppose that I should not call you mine but I could not stop myself from writing it. I know as I pen the words that it will most likely cause you pain to hear me refer to you as "my" but I must, for one last time at least. I have spent the last few months trying to win you and to prove myself to you but it seems that my efforts have come to nothing. You have no space in your heart for me and for that; I have only my self to blame. All of my life I have though of nothing but my own pleasure and I know that I have hurt people in the process. When I met you for the first time I did not realize that you would help to open my eyes to my own folly. I went around like the lecherous fool I was breaking hearts with out a care. I must even shamefully admit that at a time I had even considered playing with your affections. But oh sweet Fanny you turned my vile devices on me and I fell in love with you. Although I can not say exactly how it happened, I remember the night at you ball when we danced together. I also remember the fist time I asked for your hand and the fear and anger you had in your eyes. At that point I could not understand why you would not return my affection. I refused to accept your rejection and continued to harass you at ever y turn. Little did I know that I was only further alienating you. Had I known that I was causing you shame and pain I promise you that I would not have been so insistent. Believe me, it was never my intention to force you to accept.

If you knew how much I love you, you would begin to comprehend exactly how hard my next words are for me. From the bottom of my very soul I want you to know that I love you Fanny price, you and you alone and that it is with remores and regret that I tell you that because of my strength of this feeling, I will let you go. –

Wait had she read that right? Did he just say that he would "let her go"? Fanny frantically read on.

I have come to the painful realization that for whatever reason you are lost to me. Even though I would gladly spend the rest of my life trying to win you, I know that I must let you be. I wish never to harm you as I have already. Please, all that ask is that you would please forgive me of my sins against you and your family. Just know however that I am not sorry for one thing and that is loving you.

I could go on forever about the depth of my feeling for you but for you sake I know that I have to stop. I will always…

Yours eternally

Henry Crawford.



As she read the final words she was in too much shock to realize that there were tears rolling down her cheeks. It was only when the first few drops hit the paper that she began to wipe her eyes. Fanny was so over whelmed with emotion that she did not quite know what to think. This was what she had wanted all along. The very words that she had hopelessly longed for were right before her, in her hands! Fanny knew that she should have been happily jumping for joy but instead she was obviously crying.

Why? She asked herself. He had finally set her free. She could go return home now and every thing would go back to normal! She folded the letter and replaced it under her bed. The rest of the night she kept her mind on her beloved Mansfield and only half succeeded in raising her spirits.

The next morning at breakfast Fanny barely ate anything. She was so distracted that she did not seem to notice the dirt in her mother's kitchen. Susan had been watching her sister and could not help but note how very sad and pale she looked this morning. She attributed Fanny's somberness to the contents of the letter. That Mr. Crawford must have told Fanny that he did not love her anymore she thought. Although Fanny had never told her that he loved her or vice versa, Susan was old enough to understand that there was something between her sister and the man. She had seen the way he looked at her sister, that day when he had walked them home from church. There had been a tenderness there that even as young as she was, was not lost on her. Susan made up her mind that she would try and to discover the cause of her sister's displeasure and then perhaps she could help her feel better.

"Frances" she said gently.

"Huh, oh yes what is it Susan?" she answered.

"Oh nothing" She faltered but mustered up the courage to continue. "Did he, I mean did the letter upset you?"

"Yes-no. Well I am fine dear Susan." she said trying to smile.

"Dear fanny if he told you that he dose not love you, I am sorry!" she blurted with tears of indignation in her eyes. "Please tell me, I promise that I won't tell any one."

Fanny could feel the tears welling up in her as she spoke. "No it's not the letter" she struggled to find an excuse the would satisfy the girl. "It was the news about Cousin Maria that has distraught me so." She lied

"Oh are you sure Fanny. So your Mr. Crawford dose still loves you then?"

Fanny just shook her head up and down.

"Oh I am so happy that I wont even ask you to keep your promise of telling my about his letter." As she said the words the girl jump up and embraced Fanny in a warm hug. Fanny wanted to cry in her arms but she pulled herself together. As Susan broke away a frown popped on to her face.



"I am sad to hear about you cousin, Mrs. Rushworth though. Although I am not really sure what she did, I did hear mother telling Father that she would never be forgiven."

"It's better that you do not know but remember to pray for her alright."

"Yes Fanny. You know I even pray for Your Mr. Crawford."

Fanny smiled but she was dying inside. The rest of the day she made sure that her expressions did not give her a way. At supper that evening, she even engaged in conversation and tried to sound jovial. As she lay in bed that night she dreamt of Edmund. In her dream he had come to Portsmouth to rescue her and he had asked her to marry him. But before Fanny could respond, she was awaked by what she thought was a knock on her door. Although she was a bit put out, the memory of her dream brought a smile to her face.

For the next two weeks Fanny was truly happy. She was eagerly awaiting the news that she would be able to return home to Mansfield. One morning she was out with Susan at the local market when a man selling some paintings caught her eye. She asked Susan to wait for her as she went over for a closer look. There was on painting of the beach that seemed startlingly familiar but she could not quite place it. "How much for that picture sir?" she asked.

"Oh for a nice young miss such as yeh self I'd say 'bout two pence."

On impulse she answered. "I will take it." As she made her way back to her sister Susan saw the picture and looked at her quizzically.

"Did you just buy that?"

"Yes for two pence."

"TWO! It's not worth half of that."

"It probably isn't but I could not help myself." Fanny took Susan's hand in her own. "Come now let us hurry home. Mama needs us to bring this entire home for supper tonight."

As the two entered through the kitchen door, Fanny notice that he house keeper was not only cleaning up but she also seemed to be getting the tea things together.

"Mrs. Ross do you need any help?"

"Aye yes I sure do Miss. There is a man that came in wanting to have a word with your mother." She said with a conspiratorial grin on her face that disconcerted Fanny.

"Oh" was all Fanny could say. Her mind was swirling. This man could not possibly be Mr. Crawford! He had promised, well not promised, but he had written that he was letting her go! He couldn't really say all of that and then go back on it…but knowing Mr. Crawford. Fanny reminded her self who she was dealing with and steeled herself for yet another uncomfortable confrontation with him.



"Miss could you take in that tray please?" asked Mrs. Ross.

"Of course"

As she walked into the passage way, Fanny realized just how unprepared she was. She had hopped for too much and unfortunately had set herself up for disappointment. The girl was so distraught that she had not even bothered to make eye contact with anyone in the room.

Mrs. Price was the first to speak. Gesturing towards the man settled across from her she said
"Aren't you going to greet your cousin Fanny?"

"My cousin?" As she mumbled the words, Edmund got up and turned to face her. He had a smile on his face but he seemed very haggard and tried. Edmund held his arms open for her. Fanny not believing her eyes could only stare. Noticing her discomfort, Edmund walked over and enveloped her in a warm embrace.

"You have no earthly idea how glad I am to see you" he whispered.

TBC

An: SO WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK SO FAR? PLEASE LEAVE ANY THOUGHT OR COMMENTS YOU HAVE 