Please be sure to read the note at the end when you are finished. If it helps to redeem the lateness at all it's longer then the last chapter, which was a double chapter.

Chapter 14; Cataclysm Crashed

The room felt cold.

"Is he going to live?" Rukia's voice cracked. The medical smell was nausiating. It was darker than she would've liked it to be, there were no windows and the lights were dull. There was the rythmic beeping from the monitor. The little boy; Kurosaki Ichigo, was stretched before her on a very flat bed. A light blanket covered his body from the shoulders down. This is my fault. All his skin that was visible was a patchwork of unnatural shades, it was blotched with purples, blues, and browns. Over his mouth and nose there was a thing that looked like an oxygen mask, a cyllindrical tube was horizontally attached to the very snout. It contained a medicine that mystified and entered his lungs with every shallow breath he took. No matter how you look at it it's all my fault.

"If I was a second later, he wouldn't have made it. But now it's up to him whither he wants to stay in this world. There was some reconstruction and surgery before the overall healing process could being."

"Isn't there anything more you can do?" Rukia walked to the side of his bed, internally agonizing. There could've been something more I could have done to stop it! I should have stepped in. I should've stopped him! I only saved my own skin though... I tried, right? I tried to stop him. But it wasn't enough. So did I try my best? Could I have done more? God! I don't know anymore! This whole thing is the stupidest idea I've ever had! And now he could die?

"I'm sorry, but there is nothing more I can do right now." Unohana apologized.

Nothing? That's ridiculous! Can she not see him? "C-can't you just heal him? If you don't have enough energy, just get a few more of your people until he's all better so we don't have to wait around hoping he's going to be okay! I'll heal him myself! Just please don't make him... he can't stay in this condition!"

"I must ask you not to touch him. There would not be a need for this facility if we could simply just heal everyone. Unfortunately that's not always the case. Some people require a little more work than that. The boy's body is very small. I can sense that his reiatsu is already in conflict with itself, and what ever Aizen did to him completely coated his body in Aizen's reiatsu. I'm afraid using healing kidou just adds mine to the mix. Too much conflicting reiatsu, especially in such a small container, I'm afraid would be deadly for him."

"That's messed up! We can't heal him because it would kill him?! I don't understand how conflicting reiatsu could kill him! It doesn't make any sense! Please, there has to be something you can do. We can't leave him like this." Rukia begged.

"That's enough." Ukitake had entered the room behind them. His left arm, and the left side of his head was bandaged, his long, white hair pulled back into a ponytail. "If Unohana has a reason for doing something I expect you to respect it. She has been with us for nearly 200 years, I'm sure she knows what she's saying. Please listen to her or I will prohibit you from coming in here."

"I'm sorry, taichou." Rukia swiftly bowed. "Sorry for my misconduct, Unohana-taichou."

Unohana gently grabbed her should, giving her condolences. "It's quite alright. Ukitake, would you mind stepping into the hall with me for a moment? I need to talk to you."

"Sure." Ukitake answered, following her out.

The door shut, but Rukia paid it no mind. She was tranced. Ukitake had placed the bands back on him before Rukia had even gotten to see him. After Unohana had whisked him away it had been over an hour before anyone had allowed her to see him. It was so no one could tell he was here. It was so hard to imagine that had all happened just a little while ago. And that around three hours (give or take a few) they'd been quietly waiting in the Central 46 room.

Rukia sank into one of the two chairs by the door, her eyes not leaving him for a second. Oh, how horribly guilty she felt.

"Are you awake?" She asked. Her question hung in the air, only answered by the rythmic beeping of the machine and the very quiet sound the breathing mask made when it turned the medicine into a vapor.

At the end of it all a lot of people had been hurt. But not her. She made it through without a scratch! Yet it was her idea to begin with. Why did I do this if I still had the Hougyoku? I was an idiot to risk it. And to risk you. Thinking this was an important experience for you...

How would this all effect that sweet little boy she had very first met?

"Is he conscious?" Rukia inquired when Unohana came back in. "Did he ever wake up?"

"No, but we should hope he does fairly quickly." Unohana ushered her back over to him. Rukia reluctantly obeyed, she hated seeing him like this. "There seems to be extensive damage to his head. If there is internal bleeding...he could suffer from compression. If he doesn't wake up..."

Meaning a coma?...Death...? Rukia wondered, but Unohana never finished. Instead she said. "I'll heal it as soon as it's safe to."

"Rukia." Ukitake called from the door. "You've been through a lot, you should come get some rest."

"No, I want to be here when he wakes up." Rukia replied, Ukitake watched her tensly for a moment before giving in to her wishes. He turned around to leave but something in the back of his mind stopped him. His hand grabbed the edge of the door, stopping him from leaving. Ukitake turned around to glance at the boy one last time. He felt as if there was something he should say.

"It's not your fault." Ukitake stated.

Rukia looked over to him, apprecativley. "Thank you, taichou."

Unohana bustled around the room for a minute before swiftly pushing over a bowl of water and a pile of white rags on a wheeled stand. She didn't make any move to get Rukia to help her as she placidly wettened one of the rags. The captain wrung out the extra liquid. Very compassionately and delicately she used the rag to rub the blood and dirt off of his cheek.

"He's your friend?" Unohana asked, conversationally.

"Yeah, he's a really good friend of mine. I haven't known him too long but I know him well enough to know he didn't deserve this." Rukia answered, hesitantly grabbing one of the white rags. She felt like it should be her there, in Unohana's stead, cleaning the filth away from his cherubic countenance. Surely she was responsible for enough of it that she owed it to him, owed him the compassion and delicateness this captain who didn't even know him was able to give to him. Yet she couldn't bring herself to touch him.

Unohana sighed, making Rukia jump. "Why would Aizen do this to this...child...? Nobody deserves to experience that."

Rukia looked down, a horrible feeling gritting in her stomach. "He was trying to protect me, he got in Aizen's way."

The 4th Division's Captain paused. Her voice saturated with sympathy. "I'm very sorry the two of you had to go through that. He'll be alright. I think as long as you believe in him, he'll pull through this. I'm going to be his direct care, Ukitake asked that I not allow anyone else to come in here. So I promise I will take good care of your friend."

"Thank you, Taichou." Rukia thanked, feeling a bit suffocated from the sudden tenseness.

The taichou began washing the sticky red blood from his tangerine locks. "What's his name?"

"His name is Ichigo." Rukia told her, awkwardly placing the rag back onto the tray.

"That's such a cute name." Unohana smiled. When Unohana finished she stately stood up straight, she didn't seem at all pleased with her work, or perhaps she was just unpleased with his condition; what she couldn't just wash off. She grabbed the hem of the thin blanket that covered him and pulled it back so even more of the extent of the damage was visible. Around his midsection was a strange box. The two sides were an off-whitish color. A stretchy elastic material connected the two sides of the box, firmly curving with his body. On one of the off-white sides was a dial. The box encompassed the area that had been penitrated by some invisible weapon. It was relieving to Rukia that the box covered up the wound. Because she didn't know what she would do if she had to see it again.

"What's all this for?" Rukia asked. Why did it have to be like this? Why must his bare and trashed body be out and displayed like this? Why did the Captain have to show her his medical treatment, although she was gentle this set up was so cruel. His pain and exhaust exposed to her whilst he was no condition to have a say? All these devices, the room cold and dark. The Grand Soul Society couldn't even provide him with a decent blanket or a comfortable bed. Why was she so angry at how he was being treated, yet so jealous that the captain was able to take better care of him then she could?

"It's all optimal to his recovery," Unohana started. "With minimal use of kidou, we've got to resort to other methods. I am sorry I can't give him anything better. It's critical that his spine stay straight or I could use a regular bed. This box I need you to be very deligent about, don't let anyone mess with the dial on the side. It's holding everything together so that it heals properly. The room has to stay cold, or we could risk an infection."

Rukia pushed down the growing urge to cry, she replaced it instead with a steady scowl of disapproval. "Then let's fix him as soon as we can." No...he's not an object...

Unohana nodded in agreement. "We'll have him out of here as quickly as we can."

He's not like some broken object, that I can just glue the parts back together... Whenever she looked at him her eyes seemed drawn towards his closed eyelids. Not an object, but a human.

"Ukitake-taichou is sending a replacement to your old post in about an hour," Unohana started. "I'm sending on of my helpers to fetch some special medicine from a shop in that town. It's supposed to be very strong. So we'll use that instead."

...and to put together a human...

"From Urahara's Shoten?" Rukia inquired.

"Yes, I believe that's the one."

"Can I send a message along with them, please?"

"I'm sure that will be fine." Unohana-taichou agreed. After Rukia scribbled it down on a piece of paper the Captain took it to her helper/convoy. Rukia fixed his blanket, covering him up with as much care as she could. ...to put together a human, must be the most complex thing in the world. I wouldn't even know where to begin. But if I did. I certainly woould put you back together, Ichigo.

The sun sank down beneath the horizon and the room became even darker. She watched Unohana work her kidou on his head, which had some brutal damage itself. She only used as much as she dared before stopping. But most of the time she spent alone, only with his company, which was a toture itself to see him that way.

Captain Ukitake came in, it was some late hour of the night, maybe a quarter till midnight. He acted a little distressed and even a little lost. "How's he doing?"

"No change, thank you for your concern, Taichou." Rukia watched him curiously. Obviously something was up. "What's going on, Taichou?"

His eyes searched the air infront of him for an answer. Any answer. Some excuse not to tell her. In a heiarchy sense he didn't have to tell her."He killed six of my men." Ukitake at last told her. "Your boy did."

"What do you mean?" Rukia said. "Ichigo? He couldn't possibly have."

"The reiatsu and sword wounds match his reiatsu and zanpaktou."

Rukia's impulse was to continue to deny it because she knew that Ichigo was incapable of commiting quite a feat, anything like murder was completely beyond him. But she couldn't find words to openly deny the evidence or her Captain. She suddenly burst. "He couldn't have known what he was doing! Aizen was messing with his mind, I told you that! They aren't going to convict him or anything are they?!"

"No, no." Ukitake replied. "I didn't tell them and it seems that they haven't noticed. Aizen is taking the blame, I just wanted to know what happened." He was just searching for answers, either a way not to or to find a way of blaming himself.

"I don't know, Taichou." Rukia apologized. She bowed deeply. "And I must request that you do not ask him."

"If it was because of Aizen I'm not going to be mad at him." Ukitake told her.

"I see that, Taichou. But I still humbly request that you don't speak with him about it. He's not much of a warrior and I think he went through enough yesterday. If he doesn't remember that I think it's for the best. The Ichigo I know, wheither it was really his fault or not, wouldn't be able to forgive himself for something like that. So please, Ukitake-taichou, unless he mentions it first."

"Alright... alright, Rukia, you have my word." The Captain agreed but his uneasiness remained. The captain stayed for a while, but stayed silent either pondering or grieving (Rukia couldn't tell). Finally he left her, without anything further than a quick 'goodnight'.

She stayed at his side, not baring to leave or even to sleep least something happen. What if he woke up while she was away or asleep? What if he... well that wasn't a thought she wanted to ponder on. Sometimes Unohana would bring her some food because she wasn't willing to leave him for long enough to get some herself. It was a dreadful time that seemed to be stretching on exponentially with little or no change.

The minutes became hours and hours became days...that first day ended and went by and then a second one passed with it. 36 hours; Rukia counted, but the waiting and worry didn't stop. The following noon she changed it to 48. Two whole days. Those 48 hours were reaching 60 (she couldn't stop counting).... Everyonce in a while Unohana would attempt to use a little bit of kidou to rejuvinate his body, her 'medicine' had come but the pills weren't something she could give him while he was asleep.

Beep...Beep... Rukia counted to three, the space between the beeping over and over till it became an unconscious rythm occupying her thoughts so that she didn't have to think of anything besides the numbers 1, 2, and 3. Beep! 1...2...3. Beep! 1...2...3.

She sat on the edge of her seat, hunched over in a way that was out of character for her but a position anyone would take sitting hour after hour on a small stole wondering whither the child infront of them was going to pull through. Wondering if, by the time the next hour rolled around, he would be awake, dead, or in the same condition.

1...2...3. Beep! 1...2...3. Beep! She knew it had to be around midnight. Midnight on that 5th day of their exursion, of the day things turned into a horrible mess. Beep! 1...2...3. Beep! 1...2...3.....

Rukia lifted her head so fast her neck hurt. Beep!

Did I count too fast? 1...2...3......Beep! She tried to match her old rythm but it didn't work. Beep! 1...2...3...4. Beep! 1...2...3...4. Beep!

His heart beat slowed down? Maybe...Maybe I just messed up. I forgot my beat. She tried to reassure herself.

Rukia slipped back down into her hunching position, listening to the harsh beating of her heart. She gave up on her counting, finding it was too discouraging to think that he drew one second closer to the side of the coin she didn't want it to land on.

"You know, I never ever wanted this to happen. Back in your world when ever I thought about it I never saw you getting hurt...or even being in danger. When you said that should be us there...I should've said no. I should've seen this coming! I'm the older one, I should've been responsible. I am responsible...for this! I think I realized if it wasn't us, it wouldn't work. But it was never meant to work." Rukia spoke to his unconscious form. "What I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry. I'm really sorry you had to go through that. And I'm sorry I let you protect me."

She slowly, with caution and uncertainty reached out to touch him. The first time since she'd sat by his side in that blood puddle, shouting her lungs out. His skin felt just as cold as it had before. Her hand drew back, but she stopped short of the motion and forced herself to grab his arm. At first her fingers were tensed but slowly they relaxed into a comforting hold.

Rukia slid off her stole. She lowered her head beside his so that she could whisper in his ear. "Come on, Ichigo. You can do it. Don't give up. I'm right here, we can get through this. We still have two days! Don't you want me to show you around the Soul Society? All you have to do is open your eyes. Wake up, Ichigo."

She sat back down, keeping her hand on his arm in hopes a connection might help him in some way or another. "Don't keep me waiting."

Yet the time just kept ticking. Ever second seemed to steal away a little bit of hope till she found her self several hours later, at nearly four in the morning, still staring at him with wide, violet eyes. Isn't this enough already? Perhaps I have to go through this because it was my sin to bring him into this in the first place, but even so isn't this enough? This is torture. Plain and simple torture. Two and a half days of this! I'm not doing anything, yet I'm so exahusted. I'm exahausted of doing nothing, of being able to do nothing but think about not being able to do anything for him! So isn't this enough? Can't we be done? Can't he be okay? I want to see that big stupid grin of his. All his little sweet yet nonsensical comments. Everything. Quitely, heart heartaching, she curled forward, resting on the edge of his bed. Her heavy eyelids slowly, slowly closed as sleep inwhelmed her.

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Ichigo's fingers twitched. Am...I...alive? His consciousness slowly returning, as if he were waking up from a long dream. At frist there was no feeling, no senses. He didn't hear anything, nor did he feel anything. It wasn't until the stingy sensation rose up from the depths of his mind and he felt it encompass his body that he even could discern the boundaries of his body. He began to hear a faint hum... and feel the restriction of his torso. More and more his senses returned, they heightened. The stinging no longer just stung, it was a sharp pain throughout. The compression around his torso felt more like a bone crushing vice grip. He was sure the giant golem must have him in its enourmous rocky hands, squeezing the last bit of life out of him. He cried out. Wishing someone, somehow could rescue him from the horrible fate.

Rukia was so startled she nearly fell backwards off her chair. His eyes were still shut, but tears leaked from the corners. She gently patted his cheek. "Hey, hey, open your eyes. You're alright."

His eyes blinked open, blinded from even the dim light. His scrawny, bruised hands shakely moved to the box on his midsection. His eyes darted all around, unable to focus on anything. "It hurts, it hurst, it hurts," He cried, his lungs on fire from the abrupt expanding.

"Calm down, calm down." Rukia urged, feeling panicked. "I'll call Unohana!" She scrambled to find the little remote.

What is that thing?! I need it off!! He pushed the box but it wouldn't budge. "Get it off me! Get it off! Get it off!!!!"

"Calm down!" Rukia shouted. Hoping if she could override his franticness he might listen. "It can't come off. It's not coming off. Unohana is coming, just try to calm down."

The Unohana burst in, her haori a flutter as she rushed to his bedside with an array of instruments. First Unohana raised a large syringe needle, the inside held a clearish blue liquid that became unviewable as she quickly enveloped the outside with a green healing kidou. She pulled back the covers, unveiling his battered chest and clearly defined rib cage, the skin around which was so white it might as well not have been there. She stabbed the long needle straight through the black mesh strap and deep into his wounded stomach, pushing the top down as she did so. His hands flew to the edges of the bed, the procedure sent an odd but very powerful wave of pain and uncomfort surging through his body.

Rukia watched hopefully as his back arched, any noise expelling from his lips immediately halted. His eyes became wide and blank, his body laxed, and his fingers untensed. He didn't move in the least, save for the rise and fall of his chest. Unohana pulled the needle back out and put in in the trash.

Her throat tightened. "What did you do?" He wasn't moving, he looked just as out of it as he had the past three days. "He finally woke up."

"It's a strong pain killer that's going to make sure his organs heal properly, it's going to put him out of it for a little bit, but he'll be fine. It should also help cleanse some of that unnessecary reiatsu out of his system." Unohana explained while filling a smaller syringe with a red liquid from a jar. The taichou tapped it three times on the edge, before putting the bottle of medicine, or whatever it was, away in her assortment of tools. She grabbed his arm, gently sticking the end into the bend of his arm, depositing the liquid directly into his blood stream through a vein.

"How can you just knock him back out when he finally woke up?" Rukia asked weakly.

"He's not the same kind of out of it as he was before. I haven't had him on any pain killers while he was unconscious. I image he just felt the complete effects of what was done to him. Please, for his sake, try to understand that. By doing this he won't have to suffer." She replied kindly. She set her tools on the counter in the back. "Thank you for calling me. It's very good to see he's woken up."

Unohana came back over, she gently ran her hand along where the box met his skin. She clicked her tounge disapprovingly, quickly reaching for the dial on the opposing side of the contraption she clicked it down a few notches. "His stomach's swolen. I loosened it so it shouldn't hurt him as much. I'll be back in a little while to make sure the medicine's working. If before then something happens, or if he flips out again please buzz me."

The captain turned to Rukia. "You are truelly are a wonderful friend for staying by his side all this time. He's lucky to have someone like you."

"Thank you, Captain." Rukia thanked, only feeling it half heartedly. She watched him, her heart thumping in her ears. She just watched her little friend, until Unohana decided it was best to leave it at that and left.

"You pulled through, didn't you? I'm so proud you made it." Rukia whispered, wondering if he could hear her. "You made it Ichigo, now we're going to take care of you, okay? We'll make things better. We'll make the pain go away. So just hang in there, don't give up yet."

She ran her hand down his orange head, suddenly so matted with sweat.

It took a while even for the tiniest bit of feeling to return and to connect his consciousness back to his mortal shell. Both his mind and his body felt so numb. When he tried to move his fingrs he couldn't tell if they'd answered to his request. "I'm alive?"

"Yes, yes, you lived. You're alive, you're fine." Rukia quickly sputtered emotionally.

"Wow..." He breathed. "I didn't think..."

"Well, it's nice to hear you've already given up on yourself." Rukia scoffed, annoyed.

Ichigo closed his eyes taking a moment to breathe, he could feel the cold mist of the medicine that humidified his air. "What is all of this?"

"It's all to help you get better. You really had quite a spill there, if you can call it that. We weren't even sure if you were going to make it, you've been unconscious for the longest time, and you lost so much blood. I still can't believe you actually did that!" Rukia exclaimed.

"How long have I been out?" He asked, his eyes still closed. His own voice sounded strange and warpy to his own ears.

Rukia turned to the clock, unsure of how long she had been out of it. It was almost noon! She'd been asleep nearly eight hours. "As of right now, just about three days."

"Three whole days?" He gasped although his shock barely showed through his numbness and fatigue. He tried to find the strength to push himself upright but what ever Unohana had put in him seemed to have sapped away most of his strength, and he hardly seemed to even be able to move. "I've got to go home! Right now!"

"Don't worry I took care of it. You've got three more days before you have to start worrying about it. Besides, you don't look at all fit to go anywhere right now. God, I wish you could see yourself. What would your parents say if they saw you like this? You look... you don't even look half dead, you look completely dead. You can hardly even move now!"

"She drugged me." He muttered. "Or something. I can't really feel anything."

You idiot. Rukia thought with a sigh. "I'm glad you're alright."

"Me too." He whispered.

Rukia sat beside him, watching soundlessly as his eyes again fell shut, and soon his body become so relaxed that she was sure he'd fallen asleep. Thank God. She smiled. Thank God, he woke up.

He rested for about half an hour, the sitting had returned to a sort of monotonous wait (but with less fear) before he gently seemed to slip back out of slumber. He whispered her name in a deeply concerned fashion. She noticed his eyes seemed a bit watery. "I need to know...did I get him?"

The question was a bit vague, but Rukia understood. She could tell he was frightened to hear the answer. "You hurt him..." She gave him, trailing off. She really didn't want to give him the rest, but she knew it was pointless to try to protect him from the truth. "But it didn't kill him."

I failed. It was hard to swallow, although not entirely unexpected. His dreams had stirred his thoughts into fearing so. "What happened?"

Rukia took a deep breath as if preparing to tell an long elobrate tale. "Well, I don't know everything. I can tell you what I know that happaned. Shortly after you were down Ukitake and some of the other Captains showed up. They drew the three traitors away... and left the two of us there. You were bleeding so badly I didn't know what to do. I was sure you were going to die. I couldn't stop it, I was on verge of giving up...not that I could've even if I wanted to... then Unohana appeared, without a word she scooped you up off the ground, I looked into her eyes and I knew that if there was a way you could be alright it was with her. Then she was gone."

"Hitsugaya took out Ichimaru, the battle covered the whole 10th Division's section in ice. I didn't see the battle myself, but I wish you could've seen all of the ice! Unfortunately... neither of them made it through the fight."

"They both died?"

"Yeah. There was a big funeral procession that night in his honor, although half the Seireitei was still being rebuilt."

"What about Aizen and Tousen?! And the other captains?!"

"Well, Ukitake got injured trying to help Hitsugaya. All the captains went after Aizen and Tousen, it wasn't long before the whole Soul Society was after them. It all happened so fast. Aizen was fending off Soifon-taichou, Kyoraku-taichou, Kurotsuchi-taichou, and Nii-sama. Kenpachi-taichou and Komamura-taichou both went after Tousen. Most of them were injured but no one else died. As soon as Yamamoto-Soutaichou joined the fight they escaped."

Ichigo frowned. "Aizen escaped?" He sighed heavely.

"Don't worry about it anymore. You need to rest, alright? Just take it easy."

He did try to but it was hard, physically it was simple enough. Exhausted and numb, there wasn't much else he could do. Yet his thoughts wouldn't leave him alone. As of late they always seemed to be blaming him for something. Hitsugaya, he'd never met him in person, yet he was in the notebook, and in a chain of events his death was undoubtedly Ichigo's fault. Or at least that is the conclusion he keep coming to in the back of his mind.

Everything felt like a dream. Nothing felt real. The time that passed simply felt like it shouldn't have, or even hadn't because of the utter impropability of it actually happening. Much like it might feel the first few minutes after you have won the lottery, or finding a loved one dead. When everything feels so unrealistic you wonder if it's not all in you head. From the time Rukia had arrived at his windowsill it had been that way, and even more and more now.

He drifted back asleep, it wasn't a very deep sleep and he felt himself frequently fazzing between the two worlds. Awake or asleep he could always feel the presence that stayed by his side, never leaving. He didn't know how long he had been sleeping when Unohana's voice woke him up.

"What's going on?" He inquired.

"Ah, good, you're awake." The Captain stated. "I was just working on your healing. Everyone wants you out of here as soon as possible, so we've got to keep things moving. I do apologize for waking you."

"It's alright." He muttered.

"The Captain got some special medicine for you from a small shinigami supply shop in the World of the Living. It's supposed to be very potent. If you're awake enough maybe you could try taking some?" Rukia suggested.

He felt strange for a second, all their attention was on him but he was not in a state in which he wanted their attention. His body silently willed 'don't look at me with those eyes'. "Uh...yeah. Sure."

Unohana left from his range of vision for a moment, probably to another area of the room he couldn't quite see to retrieve the medicine. The Captain returned shaking a black bottle, its label displaying a skull and crossbones.

"Are you sure that's medicine?" Rukia asked, frightened by the label.

"Yes, it's medicine," the Captain replied. "I'm starting you on half a dosage. It would be safest, it's pretty strong." She opened the container and took out a single pill. "Say 'ah'."

Ichigo opened his mouth for her to put the pill in. She helped him raise his head high enough to take a gulp of water. She'd only layed his head back down before he lurched forward. His hand covered his mouth and his body was racked with coughing. Red water spurted from between his fingers. Both Unohana and Rukia jumped to his aid. Unohana raised him back up, gently patting his back as the choking ceased.

"Grab a rag." She commanded.

Rukia obeyed, snatching a rag from the Captain's tray. She helped clean the red liquid from his face and hand. "Are you alright?!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...." He quickly ranted, looking rather ashamed. It was impossible for him to hide, impossible to do anything that would make him feel not so completely broken and helpless. It was his inability to help himself that made him feel so ashamed.

"Why are you sorry?" Rukia asked as if it was the most ridiculous thing in the entire world. She looked to Unohana. "What happened? Is he alright?"

Captain Unohana frowned. "It seems it's still not enough. I didn't realize he stomach was still too damaged to handle the water. He'll be alright. But if we don't start him on this medicine we'll have to use kidou and just risk it if he has to be out of here in three days. Hmmm... I know, maybe if you crushed them and gave them to him dry."

"Let's try that." Rukia agreed to Unohana's current train of thought merily because it was an alternative.

"About every two hours, would you give him one? I'm very sorry, but I have other patients to attend to, I fear I can't be here every two hours."

"We'll manage, Taichou. Thank you." Somehow, that was how the incident ended. It was growing late and so the Captain left to attend to her other duties while Rukia stayed by his side to deal with him. It was the very least she could do for him. The very least bit she could do to pay for her stupidity and foolishness.

Ichigo shut his eyes. His fingers clenched. He imagined that this was how He must've felt. He was thankful to be cared for. Thankful that they would treat him so kindly and so gently. Thankful that they fought so hard for his life. But at the same time it killed him. He found their sympathetic eyes to be... excruciating.

The next two hours certainly went by in a daze. It could've been a half hour, or five hours. The numbness had by then warn off so he could move with just a little bit of sluggishness remaining. The medicine kept the pain away. Rukia didn't say much, she mostly just sat quietly and let him be. But when it came to the two hours mark she got up, as lively as ever. After crushing up his medicine into a powder in a little cup like she'd been instructed she sat on the bottom of his bed.

"How ya feelin'?" She asked.

What is that? He tried to sit up. Not the feeling... he couldn't get very far. But the lack of it. He tried to move them but... it was like he was disconnected. "Wa-wait...I can't feel my legs."

Rukia heaved. "Well, your spine is broken."

There is absolutely no feeling, beyond this box. How come it took me so long to realize that I'm cut in half? How could I not have noticed it? If it's because my spine is broken, does that mean it's permanent? It can't be... Kami-sama, don't let it be so.

Rukia noticed how quickly his face fell into a look of utter concern. She quickly interjected. "I wouldn't worry about it too much. Unohana's a great healer, and we've got different methods of healing here, so I'm sure she will fix you up. I've never once seen a soul who was paralyzed partially or otherwise, so take some deep breathes, it'll be better soon. Now say 'ah'."

He obeyed, no remorse, no arguement. He was certain she was right. That notebook, the story said that He had been extremely hurt dozens of times and he was never left with any impairment. The powder tasted funny, but that was to be expected of medicine. The taste was more potent then it had been in a capsul accompanied by water. But his body didn't reject when he swallowed it. "Thank you." She's right. He thought. Knowing she was right allowed him to lul back asleep.

But the second time he was woken up at some extremely early morning hour he felt a bit lethargic. When Rukia noticed she ran to get Unohana who explained simply that he was running a fever. So Rukia ended up not sleeping at all that night, keeping his temperature in check with wet rags and giving him his medicine. She basically ended up nursing him all night.

It progressively died throughout the day. Rukia was sure she'd end up falling asleep on him again. "I'm tired." She mumbled. But no sooner had she said it, the 4th Division Captain came in.

"I am moving you to a different room." Unohana announced that afternoon as she pushed in a more comfortable looking bed. "I'm sure you'll find it more to your liking, so please bare with me for a moment as we orchestrate this move."

"Of course..." Ichigo replied, not sure how else to respond.

"How many of those pills has he had?"

"Nine, I believe, I haven't quite kept count." Rukia answered.

"Nine? Thats very good, I had better check... would you please push that over here?" The Captain kindly pointed to her little push-around table the she liked to set her healing supplies on.

She lightly pushed on his stomach where it met the box. "Good, it feels alright. We can finally take the mechanism off then, before we move you."

"That's great!" Ichigo cheered, although it was only there to help him he'd come to hate it with a burning passion.

He could hear Unohana take a deep breath as she unlatched the machine. She carefully slid it off his body.

"Does it feel alright?" She asked, setting the contraption on the tray and grabbing a roll of bandages. The Captain didn't show her worry much but the possibility she'd miscalculated, that she went wrong somewhere and that now he might as well just fall apart didn't leave the back of her mind.

"It's fine, I can't really feel anything." He answered, sorta mystified by the overall lack of feeling in his body. Whenever feeling began to return it was always pain. Why must it be that way? He wondered as Unohana wrapped his torso up. Why is it always pain? Is it my karma? Do I create it for myself? Only this extendedly... the idea of pain in my head is growing stagnant. If it is eminant. If it is inescapable, then why try to run from it anymore? I don't want pain and confusion to dominate my life. So if I let it grow stagnant, if I could forget or ignore the things in life that cause me pain then I wonder if I could stop causing other people pain.... I wonder if I could be truelly happy...

"We're going to move you, Alright? Rukia, grab his feet please. Ready?" She grabbed under his shoulders. "One...Two...Three!" He wasn't very heavy at all and with ease they lifted him over to the other bed. Unohana wheeled him out into the hall and into a new room on the other side of the building, no one they passed seemed to pay him much mind. The new room had a brighter feel to it, perhaps it was because the temperature was warmer or that the curtains were pulled wide open. It was also bigger and at the far end of the room was a line of counters and cupboards and even a door to a little bathroom. He greatly enjoyed the sunlight, its heat on his skin was nice. And when the sun went down he could soon see a few stars on the horizon of the sky. "The stars..."

"They're beautiful, aren't they?" Rukia asked, she already knew what he was going to say. She too was enjoying this room. It no longer looked like she should expect him to die any minute. The Captain didn't have him hooked up to anything, and with that weird box gone the situation was becoming more relieving. The Captain came back frequently to have him take one of those pills and drink a glass of water. It did seem to be doing him good, and they always took away the pain.

It made him happy that she was there, that she really, trully cared about him. It meant a lot to him.

"That was lucky that you got away safely." He said to her aloud that night, while he was pondering what had happened (the memories of it just didn't seem to want to leave him alone). "I'm glad that the Captains showed up."

"What you did. That was a real stupid move, you know?" Rukia lightly commented, almost a very soft scolding.

"I would do it again." He muttered back. "And again and agian."

A flame seemed to ignite inside of her, his words drew up that horrid scene she'd endured... kneeling in his blood, not able to do anything for him with his limp body in her arms. To think of it happening again and again, she couldn't stand the thought. Rukia immediately stood up. "What are you saying?! Why in the world would you want to experience that again? That was such a reckless thing you did! And you almost got yourself killed! Here I am thanking my lucky stars you're alive and you would go it again!? Why?!"

"Rukia... I wasn't saying I want it to happen again. If I didn't do what I did... Aizen would've killed you. So if I were in the same situation I would've done the same thing, even if the outcome was the same... and even if it was different."

"Even if you died?" Rukia said.

His bright amber eyes seemed to alite. "Of course."

Of course. Rukia repeated in her head. Because without hesitation he would do anything, no matter how rash or stupid, if it meant he might possibly save someones life. Especially if it were mine, because he believes with every fiber of his being that we share a special bond. Erased by time or not... "I've gotta step outside."

"Alright." He replied watching her leave seemed to tug on his hearstrings.He waited up into the late hours of the night, watching the clock, staring blankly at the door, but she didn't come back. Finely he drifted off into a fevorish sleep.

-------------------------------------------

Unohana walked into the room, she went right over to the curtains that helped keep the room dark. "Good Morning, Ichigo." She greeted as she pulled them open. It was actually almost noon.

He watched mellowly through tired eyes. She came to the side of his bed, smiling kindly. "How are you feeling?"

"Alright, I guess." Ichigo shrugged. He didn't have the heart to complain, but he sure didn't feel alright.

"Well, let's see what we can do to make things better." Unohana gave him his pill and a glass of water. He downed it completely and asked for a second glass. Unohana gave it to him and left to get him some lunch.

Ichigo stared into the crystallic liquid. His pain reflected back, for a moment it even looked red. That clear liquid viewed through a translucent glass simply reflected his red palms. He pushed up as far as he could wrench himself up on his elbow. He felt lonely. Where is she? Is she mad at me?

Ichigo sighed heavely, closing his eyes as he poured the cold water down his throat. He liked this world, how it felt so energizing. Even the reishi in this water seemed to give him a little energy back. But he didn't want to stay here, and he didn't want to be alone. She'd been with him every waking moment. Now without her he felt so lost. So alone in ths world, and so frightened he could cry.

Captain Unohana returned with a bowl of sweet potato curry and a hunk of wheat bread. Her actions were all very gentle, always respectful and never scrutinicing of his situation or its secrecy. She set the food on the counter and got out two pillows from the cabinet below. "You shouldn't force yourself like that."

She arranged the pillows comfortably behind him so they would prop him up with out any straint on his part.

"Have you seen Rukia at all?" He asked hopefully.

"She hasn't come in?" The 4th Division taichou asked in her careful, kind way.

"No, I haven't seen her since she left last night." He muttered with a frown. But when Unohana brought over his food he laughed rather sheepishly. "I'm sure she just got caught up with something."

"Yes. Don't worry too much, alright? I'm sure she'll come visit when she gets the chance. Now, let me see your arm, please."

Ichigo set his burnt arm across the table, palm up. The skin was in better condition then it had been two days ago, there was no burnt black skin and the rawness was at a minimum. It still hurt when strong pressure was applied. His arm was like the surface of a flowing river, unnaturally full of texture. When he wasn't on his medicine it began to feel like the fire started back up.

With his other hand he grabbed the bread and nibbled off a bit.

"Let's see if we can't make it all better." Unohana gently picked up his burnt arm and began to work her green, glowing magic. He slowly ate his bread as she worked on his arm. He fell back into his thoughts.

It took him a long time to finish his bread, long enough that the curry had become cold. He wasn't really hungry but it was a shame when he finally tasted it because it tasted a lot yummier then he had thought it would.

"There you go." Unohana set his arm down.

Miraculously it looked good as new. His skin was it's natural color, it even looked healthier than his other hand which was flushed red and bruised. He turned it over in awe. "Thank you!"

"Are you full?"

"Yes ma'am." Ichigo tried out his newly healed arm by handing her the bowl. "I'm sorry, that was all I could stomach."

"It's quite alright, I'm glad you're able to eat something at all, but I imagine eating a bigger amount might hurt while everything around your stomach is still healing." She removed the dishes and lap table. She even removed the two extra pillows so he could lay down. "Now I think you should rest. I don't want to see you forcing yourself up, you must respect your body while it's healing. Get some sleep."

"I'll try." He promised.

"I'll come back later." Unohana told him. She paused half-way out the door. "I'm sure Rukia will come as soon as she can."

"Me too." He agreed. Although he really didn't think so. He was again alone.

The room held a weird smell that he couldn't quite place. He tried to not be lured into sniffing it because breathing too deeply made his lungs sting. Mind you, not as bad as before, but anything that would make his time more miserable right now wasn't something that should be pursued.

Ichigo closed his eyes but he couldn't sleep, as tired as he felt. There was no clock in the room, and the time of day seemed to have no effect in there. He felt suspended in time. He obsessed over why Rukia hadn't come yet, they had little back and forth arguments before but if she ever got mad she usually just thumped him on the head. He had never made her mad enough to upset her to the point she'd ditch him like this. He had to talk to her, to repair whatever he'd done wrong... but how could he? He hadn't been able to even feel anything from his waist down, let alone move it.

Rukia had assured him that they'd be able to heal it, that he shouldn't worry about going home paralyzed from the waist down.

Time ticked away. It became 3 o'clock and she still hadn't come by. Ichigo gave up trying to sleep, trying to stop worrying, and waiting. He pushed his torso up. He heaved, his body not happy with what he was mentally setting up to do.

Ichigo closed his eyes. This medicine he was on both killed the pain and sped up his healing, so he closed his eyes and he prayed. When he opened them he tried as hard as he could, he tried to wiggle his foot.

He doubted for a moment that he was remembering correctly how to do it.

Ichigo nearly toppled over in surprise when it actually moved. Yes! I can do this!! He pulled off the covers. His eyes scanned his body sorrowfully. It looked so mistreated. A pair of off white shorts covered his nether regions above that his torso was bound tightly, bandaged. A large area of which was red and sticky. A lot of his skin looked miscolored, particularly in comparison to the arm Unohana had just worked on.

With a great effort he managed to wiggle his big toe. Ichigo carefully turned until his legs hung over the edge. 1...2...3! On three he lowered himself off the bed, starting off as gently as he could on his legs. At first they weakly gave out but he caught himself from falling by clinging to the bed. He still could not feel the cold ground beneath his toes. It took him a minute to get his legs to stay straight enough to get him over to the counter area at the back of his room. He followed the wall, nearly falling a few times. Reaching to counter, where his folded shihakushou lay, was a great relief. Holding himself up almost entirely with his arms, in turn, he slipped on the large white top so he didn't feel so exposed when he left.

Ichigo rested his legs for a moment. Probably being used prematurely as the response was still minimal. When he tried to move them the movement was choppy and every once in a while they just wouldn't move at all. Holding onto the wall as much as he could he made his was back to the door. He slid it open and peeked out, the hall was empty. Perfect. If this is the first floor...there should be a back door. In case of emergency escape or something at least. He looked back and forth, trying to decide which was front and which was back. Choosing the direction that appeared the most correct Ichigo scooted forward each foot, sinking in and out of acutally steps and merily forcing each foot to scoot forward on the low-friction floor.

He did indeed find a back door and made it through with out being noticed by anyone. Yes! I did it!!! He mentally congratulated himself as the bright blue sky blinded him. I made it outside. The door flapped shut behind him as he stumbled out into the world. Where is she? He looked around, unable to find any hints. He couldn't feel her reiatsu. I can still do this. I know I can. If I concentrate I can find her. He quickly clambered to the closest wall for support. The Seireitei is divided by sections for each squad...so I must be in the fourth section. So Rukia should be in the thirteenth section, or at least Ukitake should and he'd know where she is. But which way is the thirteenth section? ...I guess since the Seireitei's a circle either way I go I'll eventually come to it. Alright then, I'll go left...or right? I'll go right, because right should be the right way to go, right? Ichigo headed off to the right, his numb feet not even noticing how scorching the ground was.

The going was pretty easy for a little while. But the hot sun compared to the temperature-controled cold room he'd spent his last few days in it was harsh. He'd already used up so much of his energy he began to feel heavy and tired, but he kept going, determind to make up with RUkia or apologize for upsetting her.

He made it an hour (mind you, the pace was slow) in the general direction of right before his hands began to shake against the wall, trying hard to keep him up. His legs had had enough. They were starting to recover and he insisted on working them but now they didn't have enough energy for him to squeeze out, to keep going on. His body shuddered tiredly, his physical exahustion capturing his will to keep going.

Far away from the main 4th Division hospital, or anywhere he recognized, lost in the maze of paths, he was a car run out of gasoline. Ichigo pushed away from the wall, stumbling into the emptiness he carried on for a few more steps before he collapsed forward onto the ground. The hot tiles lightly burned the palms of his hands. Not yet. I'm not ready to give up. He crawled forward, not willing to give up. He never was one to give into defeat.

"Rukia?" He asked as loud as he could, but his voice was weak. He could feel the darkness overwhelming him. "Rukia. I'm sorry. Please help me."

I feel so pathetic. Look at me. I couldn't even make it to her.

----------------------------------

"Is that all?" Rukia heaved, half-heartedly glancing at the clock. Ukitake sifted through a pile of papers, regarding each carefully.

"Yeah... that looks like everything." Ukitake tapped the papers on the table so they fell into an orderly stack. He set them down carefully.

"Thank god." Rukia felt relieved. "He's gotta be wondering where I am. I'll be going then, Taichou!"

"Thank you for your help!" He shouted after her.

Rukia was navigating her way out of this official portion of the barracks she'd only been in a handful of times. She was only allowed here when the captain summoned her, which was for important things. Or when Ichigo and her snuck in here, which was also for something rather important. Out of the entwinement of important rooms, and into the main hallway of the barracks Rukia spotted a black butterfly fluttering towards her. Rukia reached out and it landed on the tip of her index finger; a Jougyoku-Chou.

Relaying message to Kuchiki Rukia of Division 13. From Unohana Retsu, Captain of Division 4. Rukia; hurry back as soon as you can. Ichigo is missing and I can't find him anywhere. The message ended, the butterfly flapped it's big black wings and flew back the way it came, leaving Rukia in momentary shock.

Missing? ...How can he be missing? It's not like he could just get up and walk away! Rukia broke into a run. Why would he leave, if he could?! But he can't! So how can he be missing!? There's no way Aizen would've- he wouldn't have snuck back to do something to him, would he have? Ichigo's not that big of a problem that Aizen would go that far.... Right?!

Rukia arrived at the central area of the 4th Division, their main care-center-hospital-place not 15 minutes after the Captain had sent out the Hell's Butterfly. Needless to say she hurried back as fast as she could. When she basically burst into his room she was panting heavely. Her eyes instantly scanned the room, finding one thing blatantly obvious; he wasn't there. His orange head would've stuck out like a sore thumb not matter how fast she scanned it. Unohana was there however.

"Thank you for hurrying, I wasn't sure what I should do. I looked up and down the building for him, and all around it too. He can't be very far away. I didn't want to send anyone out looking for him though because Ukitake keeps it all so hush hush." The Captain told her, in what sounded like an apologetic tone.

"It's alright, taichou." Rukia reassured despite the fact she was certain she could feel her body beginning to tremor. "I'll go find him."

She didn't feel at all like exploring possibilities. Obviously if he wasn't here he had to be somewhere. Right now somewhere was good enough for her. Being somewhere meant he could be anywhere else but here; not entirely discluding anywhere outside this room. Which she decided was a darn good place to start, as long as it was included. She also prefered to think of him being somewhere, or anywhere but here, because that meant she didn't have to jump to conclusions like Las Noches...or someplace terrible like that. Also, since he couldn't really go anywhere, as he was temporarily disabled, it would be so much more relieving to find him very close. Because it would inturn be very upsetting finding him far away, as the only way he could be far away is if there was another person invovled, which was disturbing to consider.

Rukia left with a rather blank mind, her cognative gears not turning their proper circles. She searched that building up and down and left and right several times with no luck. How come I'm always looking for you? She sighed, walking out the front door. How many times is this now? Only the third... but you seriously need to stop getting ahead of yourself. She looked all around for him, after about an hour her anger had boiled up.

"Ichigo! You pig-headed, stupid-faced, idiot, where are you!?" She shouted at one point, hopelessly hunting through the Seireitei's labryinth. She couldn't feel his reiatsu at all, that had to be the most frustrating part of all. She couldn't tell if he was really even there at all.

It wasn't long after that Rukia saw his small figure, laying on the ground ahead. She wasted no time hurrying to his side to see if he was alright.

Ichigo was nearly turned onto his side, his left arm stretched above his head. His right hand between his chest and the ground. His eyes were closed. Her heart skipped a beat looking at him like that. There never had been a garuntee he would make it even this far along. Who knew what damage over exertion could've caused? Especially getting this far when he supposedly couldn't even walk. "I...Ichigo?"

She kneeled down beside him. "Ichigo?"

He wasn't answering her. Rukia felt her eyes began to tear up. He can't....

"Wake up, Ichi! This isn't the time to sleep. Ichigo! Please look at me!" Rukia shouted, trying to force anger into her voice. Why would he do this?! He was doing just fine, why would put all that effort into leaving like this?!

"....Ru....kia...?" He responded febbily. His eyes craked open just enough that she could see the lustrous, dark gold irises peeking up at her. "...Please don't be....mad at...me..."

"Mad?! Why the heck would you even do this if you thought I'd get mad?!" Rukia exclaimed. Thank god he's alive. She felt such a great relief but her anxiety was still up. "What were you trying to accomplish?"

"I....wanted to say....that I'm sorry." He replied. "I'm sorry...I said that...please....don't be mad anymore. I couldn't....even make it. I fell down...and I couldn't.....I couldn't....stand back up."

He wanted to apologize? Rukia was stumped. "I never was mad at you. Nothing you said upset me."

"Why...didn't you come?" She saw his hand push against the ground, trying to exert enough force to lift himself up. His hand began to shake when as hard as he tried he couldn't do it.

"I was helping Ukitake with paperwork." She explained. He's too connected. She realized then what was happening between them, and what the eminant end of it all was. What everything was going to come down to. Maybe because she felt guilty, she saw the opposing sides reasoning and fully agreed with it all. But now, she saw it all. Now she not only agreed with it she saw exactly how horrible her side was after all.

"Come on," Rukia gently lifted him up onto her back. "We've got to get you back. You really scared Unohana-taichou, you know? How'd you get all the way out here?"

"I don't want to go back right now, please Rukia." He requested with a rather flat pleading tone. Rather limply he allowed his head to rest between her shoulder blades.

"Where else are we supposed to go?" Rukia queeried.

"Can you take me... up to Soukyoku Hill...?"

"Soukyoku Oka?! Why all the way up there?" Rukia gaped. He was silent in response, lost for words to explain his need to see that place. Rukia sighed, giving in to his unspoken arguement. "Fine, I'll take you there if you'll tell me how you got out here."

"I walked." He replied wryly.

"Wow, that's...that's great. Your legs are working!" Rukia exclaimed, suspiciously relieved for someone who told him it was nothing to worry about. "Alright, we better tell Unohana so she doesn't worry."

They never made it to the Captain, who surely would have discouraged their little trip. Instead Rukia asked one of the bustling 4th Squad members to go tell the Captain. "I found him, we'll be back later."

And so they began the long trip towards Soukyoku Oka that lay at the very center of the Seireitei. Rukia didn't Shun-po at all, not with him on her back. She didn't bring it up but she was afraid it would take his breath away, or even jog a memory of what had happened. She stopped to talk to no one and no one stopped to talk to her as she steadly headed for the core.

"I'm sorry...if I scared you." He muttered, close enough to her ears that she could hear his quiet voice.

"Nah, you didn't scare me. You terrified me." Rukia stated exuberantly. "What would I have done if something happened to you, huh? You supposedly couldn't walk. You getting anywhere by yourself seemed impossible! I thought... I thought...ahhh, it doesn't matter what I thought. But next time don't do something so irrational, that was stupid of you. You can't be exerting yourself like this if you really plan on going home tomorrow. You'll never heal enough like this. We'll have to ask for more time or something."

"...no...I couldn't make them wait longer. I'm going home tomorrow... and I will be fine...if I'm not....you can just use your kidou..."

"I'm not using my kidou on you. So you'll have to ask Unohana-taichou. Don't you understand if you do things like this you're going to open up your wounds, and prolong the healing process? This is not a game. This is your life! You can't just rely on this plan going through when you're working against it. It's not going to magically work out just because you're planning it to! You've got to work with it. If you want to go home tomorrow you wont do something this stupid again! Do you know that we can't feel your reiatsu? It's completely hidden, it might as well not exsist! How was I supposed to tell where you were? How am I supposed to tell if you're dead or alive?" Rukia rantedly cried.

"....." Ichigo tried to find a response but nothing came.

"Don't you see? Even now...I can hardly feel you breathe. When you're quiet and you don't move I become afraid. I'm afraid you're going to die." Rukia admitted, her hands shaking a little.

"...I'm...not going to die...how could I...?" He squeaked. "I made it this far...It'd be a shame to die now..."

"It's not entirely impossible." Rukia sighed. "Especially with you acting out on your stupidity. You're talking so quietly, do you have to talk like that? You sound weak."

"I'm tired..." He muttered.

Rukia stopped. "Alright, that's it! I can't do this! I'm taking you back to Unohana-taichou. I don't feel safe doing this, you need to rest and heal. This has bad written all over it! Something is going to happen, I just know it, and I couldn't take it if you died because of me."

"I told you I'm not gonna die." He argued, trying to force his voice higher and more steady as if it would prove to her he was alright. "I really really want to go there, please Rukia. I have to. We're half way there, let's just go."

"Why though? Why is it so important to you?"

"I don't really know... a lot happened there, I feel like maybe it would click something in my head, even if the place felt the slightest bit familiar it would be worth it to me. If not that then to see it. To see where it happened, would be irreplacebly-" Ichigo broke into a coughing fit that make his lungs ache. He tried to fight it back, his body didn't seem to be on his side with this one, and neither did luck. He could taste the essence of copper in his mouth, but the coughing stopped.

Unexpectedly for Rukia he suddenly got extremely frustrated with himself. "I'm fine!! I'm fine!!" He shouted angrly. "I feel good enough to do this! I am definitely not going to die on you or anything! Please let's go."

"Alright, alright, we'll go." Rukia gave in.

The rest of the way was pretty much silence, Rukia took the back way, painstakingly climbing the long staircase the rose up the back of Soukyoku hill.

"Whoa!" Ichigo lifted his head as Rukia stepped up onto the very top of the hill. A canvas of dead trees struck up from the dusty mesa top, too thick to see through but too thin to really be called a forest. "Would you please set me down Rukia?"

"Only if you're insane." Rukia replied, breathing heavely from the climb up. "Have I not been scolding you the whole way here about exerting yourself like that? I'm not going to let you walk anywhere until you're finished healing...or you can walk without collapsing."

"I walked really far before I collapsed." Ichigo argued quietly.

"Yes, you did get really far. But when someone has a hole right through their stomach and their spine is broken right there, so they actually lose mobility of their legs, and they walk far before collapsing we call that extremely over exerting oneself to an impossible extent." Rukia harshly reminded him. "C'mon let's see the Soukyoku so we can get out of here."

Ichigo relaxed his head into her back, his eyes intently watching the trees and the over all scene that passed by. His heart seemed to be stuck in his throat. Here I am. With Rukia. The musty smell was so unsually delicous to him, it put all his senses on alert. I can't believe I'm here.

The trees broke way to the bright blue sky as Rukia exited the other end of the small wood. The sun felt hotter up there without any protection from the buildings, up there it was as if they were displayed directly before the sun. The two of them turned to the large Soukyouku, standing tall and stronger, undestroyed in a sort of sinister splendor. Once again he thought; I can't believe I'm here.

"Spark anything?" Rukia asked.

"No... but it certainly is amazing. To think, it happened here. So much. So much of it happened here. I never thought I would actually ever get a chance to see this place."

Rukia didn't feel as bad about bringing him up there, seeing his eyes glazed with amazement. She realized rather quickly that her legs weren't willing to go much further after that steep climb. Without warning she sunk to the ground before the great Soukyoku (frankly, hoping that the grand spectical might entertain him for a decent while). When she sat down she allowed him to slid off and sit beside her, but he was absolutely not to stand. He was silent for while, intrigued by everything around him. Even in the distance all surrounding them below they could see the insane extent of damage that the Seireitei was busy fixing.

Then he quietly began. "Hey, you know, Rukia..."

"What is it?"

"I-I want to meet Zangetsu." Ichigo said, clutching the front of his white robe. His words were nervous and slow but his eyes held confidence in himself. "I want to meet Renji, and your brother. Hanatarou and Ganju... I even want to see how scary Kenpachi really is. I want to join the Gotei 13. I-I want to rediscover why you meant so much to me."

Rukia smiled with a subtly sweet sadness at his words. "You've gotta listen to me though, kiddo. I need you to promise me something."

"A promise?" He reiterated. "What kind of promise?"

"I'm glad you want to get back in touch with that part of your life and all but I want you to promise me that you would never to something stupid that'd get you sent here. Alright?" Rukia said.

It wasn't at all a hard promise to make. Ichigo nodded. "I promise."

Rukia reached her hand up and rubbed his rustic head. That moment inwardly shocked her, after the act was commited she realized it was an involuntary act of affection. She had failed to notice her own growing fondness for him. Rukia withdrew her hand, tons of questions surfacing in the back of her mind such as when had it started, and why had it taken so long for her to realize it was there? Not that she hadn't cared, she had cared for a quiet a while... but she was suprised because she hadn't come to terms with exactly how much she cared. It was because she wanted to do more, she wanted to scoop him up into her arms and hold him tight for an eternity. And Kuchiki Rukia had never felt like that about anybody. Rukia stood up. "We'd better get you back."

-------------------------

Unohana didn't throw a fit about their leaving, she surprisingly didn't seem upset at all, she was too busy being happy that he was walking. It was a large milestone in his recovery, and hearing he'd accomplished that she seemed to forget about everything else. She gave him one of the pills and a glass of water before waltzing off cheerfully to check up on some other patients.

His stomach had begun to ache again on their way back, not that he mentioned it to her. Right about now it had started stinging rather badly but he still felt the need to hesitate taking his pill. Staring into the deep watery abyss of his cup he got lost in his thoughts. A few more of these, exactly how many he wasn't sure, but eventually he would be all better thanks to these powerful little things. Shutting his eyes he popped it into his mouth and chugged the whole glass of water.

"Hand me that roll of bandages, please." He asked Rukia. She handed it to him from off the far counter. He was still very strongly advised to take it easy by the Captain who also told him to stay off his feet for now. So he was sitting up on the bed (though, frankly, he would love to run around). Ichigo slipped off the white top of his shihakushou so he was only in those light flannel shorts. Although bandages still covered a large portion of his top she could tell by the exposed skin that he was doing much better. Ichigo began unraveling the ones around his waist.

"What, are you changing them yourself?" Rukia asked, surprisedly.

Ichigo laughed a little sheepishly. "Unohana usually does that closer to seven... I didn't want to bother her with it right now, but it's gotten a bit grimmy."

He tossed the dirtied bandages aside, the air felt extremely cold on his exposed skin; it always was. His attitude grew slightly somber, he turned his head to the side. "How do I look?" Unwillingly to check himself.

Rukia's hand ran down his spinal collum. "At least I can't see through you anymore. It does seem all better back there." She commented lightly. She moved her focuses to his front. It was definetely better than it had been when it happened yet still it wasn't a pretty site. She could tell that Unohana hadn't dared to stitch him shut because the circumference of the wound was too wide, it made her wonder what Unohana had done to stop the blood. "Does it hurt?"

"Not right now, it doesn't. It will look much better in another hour or so. Those pills work wonders!" He smiled. "Hey, hey; did'ja see my arm?! Look, Unohana made it all better!"

"Wow, she did a great job!" Rukia agreed, admiring the 4th Division Taichou's work.

"Rukia..." Ichigo began. "Unohana said that she couldn't heal me all the way at once because there was already too much reiatsu in my body. She said that my reiatsu was too unstable. Is that true?"

"Well, do you think Unohana-taichou would lie to you?" She asked.

"No...I guess not. Do I...do I feel like him? Like Aizen. It's just not something I can feel."

"Yes, sort of. I can feel his reiatsu on you. Especially right here." She pointed to where he'd been run through. "It's going away but it used to be so thick around your body I don't think healing you with kidou would've even been possible."

Ichigo seemed at a lost for words. He shook his head slightly, his mouth agape, but he didn't find any response. He wrapped the roll of bandages around his body. His lips cracked into a smile. "Thanks for being so kind to me, Rukia. I'm glad that you'd be my friend. I know the circumstances are a bit strange." This feeling... when I'm with her...

"Sure thing, now I think you need to get some rest, we've had an exhasperating day when someone should be healing so he can go home tomorrow."

"I'd rather not-"

"Nope! I wont hear of it. You've done enough. Lay down and rest, relax. I'm sure your body has had enough."

His eyes still pleaded her to allow him to stay up. It wasn't like he wasn't tired. Because he really was. But he didn't want to enter the hazzy between worlds sleep, not when they were talking like this. When they could talk like this he felt a bond between them, something that might even be tangible.

"No arguing." She demanded, as she went around the room shutting the curtains. "I'll be out in the hall if you need me."

"Why out there?" He inadvertantly complained. If the room was lighter she could've seen the bright pink color he'd turned after the words were out of his mouth. He hadn't meant to show her such attachement and dismay. It was childish and ridiculous....

"If I stay in here you wont stop talking. Just lay down, you look very tired. You'll be asleep in seconds."

And it turned out she was right, after she left he fell asleep almost instantly, consumed by his exhaustion.

---------

"You go home today." Rukia mentioned when he first woke up the next morning. The sun was already shining brightly through the windows. Uninvited Rukia scooched onto the edge of his bed, she found that she was quite literally missing him already. "You think you're ready?"

He mumbled something incoherently, his words befuddled by sleepiness.

"You've gotta get up, if you want Unohana to let you go then you need to be good enough for the trip home." She pushed on the lump of covers that was his body.

"She can't make me stay." His eyes opened reluctantly.

"I can." Rukia reminded. She slid off the bed. "And if you can't show me you're going to be alright then you aren't going."

With a mournful sigh he heaved himself up. "You should really let sick people rest, the healing is supposed to be faster that way."

"You ought to try to be more lively today. What would your parents say if I took you back in a worse condtition then from when I took you, huh?"

"Alright, alright..." Ichigo tried to rub the sleep from his eyes. "Let the lively healing begin." They started off the morning with walking in circles around the room. Rukia made sure he got one of his pills every other hour, and she monitored his healing throughout that day. She made sure he ate and drank enough, that everything was working alright. Unohana even backed off his care because Rukia was so on top of it. It was after lunch that Ukitake came in and said he was going to have the gate opened if they were ready. She fetched Unohana, anxiously, to check how he was doing.

"I wouldn't suggest he leaves just yet." The Captain said. "I would hang onto him another day or two." The 'would' of course implied that she knew he wasn't willing to stay another two days.

"As long as my father wouldn't notice anything was wrong," Ichigo told her. "Then I want to go home."

"Does going back today mean that much?" The Captain quiried.

"Yeah, it does."

"Alright then. Give me three hours, and then you can go home." Unohana slipped long gloves over her arms that began to glow green. She ushered Ukitake and Rukia out of the room.

Ichigo layed down without being asked. "Is kidou still risky?"

"Not too risky at this point. It won't take too much to finish the job, that medicine certainly works wonders."

By the time she was done Ukitake had the gate ready. When Rukia came in to tell him he was putting on his Shihakushou. "Hey, how're you feeling?"

"Great!" He laughed, pretending to flex his arm. "I do feel much better, thanks to Unohana and the power of kidou! Although, it makes me curious, how does kidou work? Like what do you do to activate it? Is it a spell or something?"

"Oh, I'm sure you'll figure it out one day." Rukia smiled slyly. "Are you ready to go?"

"Hold on just a second." He muttered, tying his obi belt. "...Alright, all ready."

She looked him up and down. "You look great." He really did look cute in his Shihakushou, he had an almost psuedo-seriousness to his gestures and expressions but it was completely contrary to his current young status.

"Wait!" He shouted, looking around frantically. "Where's Zangetsu?"

"It's alright, Ukitake's got your zanpaktou. C'mon, he's going to meet us at the gate." Rukia grabbed his hand. "Don't worry, he took good care of Zangetsu." The walk there had to be one of the most enjoyable things he'd experienced in a while, they didn'f talk much but everytime he thought about where he was... and who he was with, a big grin spread across his face.

When they got to the gate Unohana and Ukitake were both there waiting. Sure enough Ukitake held the wrapped Zangetsu, in a somewhat awkward manner. "There you are!"

"Are we late, Taichou?" Rukia asked.

"Not really." The Captain answered as he handed Ichigo back his sword.

"Goodbye, Ukitake-taichou." Ichigo said. "Goodbye, Unohana-taichou."

Unohana stepped forward to say her goodbyes. "Here, it might still hurt for a while. Since you wont be around here you should take this back with you." Unohana gave him a second bottle of the medicine he'd been taking. "Don't take more than one at a time. One every two hours would be best for the first day and then only if it hurts, alright?"

"Alright." Ichigo stated in understanding. "Thank you very much for everything you've done."

"Now, now. Don't fuss over him too much, he's a strong kid. He'll be fine." Ukitake injected. "Good luck, Ichigo. It seems... you just might be from the future after all."

"Just maybe, huh?" Ichigo laughed, waving. Rukia grabbed his shoulder, motioning a 'let's go'. She knew he could be contented saying good bye for another half hour, but goodbyes were easier when it was swift, when there was an ending to the goodbye. Or even if there wasn't really much of goodbye at all... at least that way one could trick themself into not realizing that they were losing something.

Rukia walked him through to the other side of the brightly lit gateway, neither talked for neither had anything to say until he stepped foot in the world of the living. He waved enthusiasticaly. "See ya!"

Rukia nodded. "Till next time."

The gate closed, shutting Rukia in with all the bright light. Right in front of him it vanished into thin air. He was in one of Urahara's rooms, he had the bottle of pills clasped tightly in his left hand.

"Home again." He murmured to himself. The idea of home sounded so foriegn, it almost felt odd to him that he could even try to return to his old life. Things had been so screwed up lately...

Ichigo took a moment of mental preparation before heading home.

------------------

Very quietly, Ichigo pushed open the door. It opened to the familiar living room area. The dim light infiltrated the darkness of the house from the opened windows. There were no living beings... or dead ones for that... besides him... Ichigo shut the door as quietly as he could. His eyes caught unfamiliar shapes in the kitchen. A few steps closer he could define a banner strung across the kitchen ceiling, its large colorful letters said 'Welcome Home'.

Ichigo approached catiously, looking around to make sure no one was hiding behind things. On the counter there was a fully decorated strawberry shortcake, plastic plates, and silverware.

"A welcome back party?" He asked aloud. "But where is everybody?"

After taking a minute to look at the set up in the kitchen he climbed the staircase to the second floor. No lights on up there either. Where did they all go?

Ichigo walked into his bedroom. Strangled light and cold air came through his open window. His most dearest mother, in her glowing beauty, sat nicely dressed in his pulled out desk chair. Hands were folded in her lap. Her tentative, loving eyes watched over the body of a small child laying in his bed. Over her shoulder he saw his own carrot topped head, his whole body completely still. It felt almost as surreal as fighting mud monsters (he shuddered at the thought).

I'm dead. Ichigo thought, not really having felt so much so before in this sense; that going into his Soul Body was literally dying.

Masaki's calm expression slowly broke, sitting in that big house all alone... it cracked to show some uprooted sadness. He having come just in time to catch her exterior beauty break open to the outside world. Her right hand rose to her face as she tried hard to keep it down. A half-sob escaped, wrinkling her saintly beauty with such dejected emotion.

A small hand gently touched the hand in her lap.

"Please don't cry, Mama." Ichigo coaxed. Masaki looked up to meet his bronze eyes. The boy, who just moments before lay lifeless infront of her, was sitting up watching her concernedly, and looking so very alive. Between them something unexpectedly manifested, it was more awkward than anything either had ever experienced with the other. Each was waiting to see what the other would do. It was Ichigo who finally broke it. He looked down ashamedly. "I've been cruel to you, haven't I? Mama..."

"As long as your home-" Masaki started, but he cut her off.

"But that doesn't matter, does it? It doesn't change anything. I made Mama cry. Being here stops it, but it doesn't make it go away." He stated, rather hypocritcally. He of all people understood the magic of how such seeing them seemed to heal the world.

"It does to me. It really matters to me." Masaki lightly grabbed his chin and lifted his head back up to look at her. "Because you're my little boy, and just seeing you brightens up my day. It makes the sun feel brighter, the clouds fluffier, it just makes everything better. I could never ever hold a grudge against you. None of it is even your fault. I'm not upset with you at all. I know your father said you could go, and you called when you were going to be home late. You don't need to apologize, you didn't do anything wrong, my sweet little nine year old." She could stay angry at Isshin, and she could stay angry at Rukia, but she could never ever muster any form of haughty anger towards her children.

"Before I left, Mama. I was home, I was here and I still made you cry. I was awfully cruel-" He rambled, determind to get his guilt across, as was his attempt to apologize for the hell he'd put her through the last month. Masaki opened her mouth to break into his ramble. "Please don't, Mama, I can't apologize to you if you wont even acknowledge that I did something wrong. Just listen to me for a second." He paused a moment, staring up at her; she made no move to say anything. "I am very sorry, I promise...I will take care of you from know on." Finishing his words he wrapped his arms around her, drawing her into his heart.

To Masaki it felt as if the world was restored, as if that solitary moment solved everything, as if it ended every trouble they'd been facing. And she realized that if she ever lost him again the world might as well crumble into little tiny pieces becasue there was no way she could ever stand not having him with her, somewhere safe she could watch over him always.

When that moment was over, of the encasement of her childs love, he state; "I'm not nine, any more... remember, Mama, I'm ten now."

She smiled, a slight inner pang of rememberance. "Yes, that's right. You're growing up, aren't you?"

"Where is everyone?"

"Your father took the girls to pick you up." Masaki said. "I'm sure they'll be back soon, your father is quite skilled it seems in presence detecting."

It was when he slipped his arms away from her that she noticed the thick black rings around his wrists that hadn't been there before. In white Japanese characters was the word 'osearu', meaning 'to suppress'. The bands themselves at first looked like some form of bondage, but with a second look could see without feeling it that both were thin and skin tight but not to a point were it pressed into his skin. It was as if the size was completely perfect. "What are those?"

Ichigo looked down at his wrists. "I guess...they're kinda like braclets...sort of. Rukia gave them to me."

"Really? That was nice." Masaki said.

"Yeah, it was." He agreed, feeling a bit akward. "Let's go down stairs."

"Of course." Masaki said. Her eyes begin to tear up as she nodded. I love him so much. I don't know if I could live without him. She followed her son down stairs, clasping onto his hand the whole way. She was afraid of letting it go. A thought dawned as her while they were walking down stairs, her brain had been trying to calculate how long it would take Isshin to get home. "How long have you been home?" Reasonably if she was unable to see him he could've been in the room with her for hours without her knowing it. Not that she'd been there for hours... that was exageratting, probably one hour at the very most.

"Not very long, Mama. I didn't see Dad on my way here either." Ichigo said.

"Big Bwadda?" Speak of the devil, two heads were curiosly peeking in from the front door. When they spotted him walking down the stair case they dragged Isshin inside by his hand. Overwhelmed with excitement they kicked off their shoes, let go of their father's hand, and pretty much tackled him at the base of the stairs. "You're home! You're home!"

"Yes," He smiled. "I am home."

"Did you have fun, visiting your friend?" Karin asked while Yuzu seemed to calm down to a more quiet meekness.

"...yeah! Lot's of fun. Sorry I left without telling you guys."

"Dat's okay! Now we get to eat cake because Big Bwadda is home! C'mon! C'mon! I wanna eat cake with Big Bwadda Ichigo!" Karin yanked him towards the kitchen.

Ichigo loved they way they just accepted him right back, no intense questioning. Right off the bat no one asked for an explination. Wheither they were saving it for later when he was more settled or if they'd ever bring it up he wasn't sure but he appreciatted it. I wont disappear on you guys again. He silently promised, watching the overexcited expressions of his little siblings. They gathered in the kitchen, they sliced up the cake, they happily sang songs, till their stomachs were too full to eat anymore cake. And then it was decided to be best to clean up a bit before they continued else where. Ichigo gathered the dishes to put by the sink while Masaki filled up the sink for them to soak. Isshin gave them a second to finish.

"So, did you take care of him?" Isshin inquired curiosly. There was no need to state who he was, it was an understanding conjured without pretense. Both Ichigo and Masaki were a bit taken by surprise, both seemed to have the same reaction; a silent astounded gasp that he would ask so blatantly.

"We got the Captains to take care of him. When they investigated they found enough proof to arrest him and sentence him to execution. So, it's all fine." He put on a false facade, never in a million years would he dare to tell them he'd spent the last few days in a hospital bed.

"And the other two?" His father asked.

"The same."

"What did you do?" Isshin asked.

He simply answered. "Tour the Soul Society."

After that the subject was dropped, and the rest of the afternoon was enjoyed with cake and the ringing sound of children's giggles. Masaki watched him expectantly, wondering if this time too that cheerfulness would disintegrate back into depression. She was just waiting for his beaming smile to disappear, for those horrid problems, all the worries to return. She and her husband had resolved nothing and her spiteful thoughts towards Rukia could only soften with knowing that he hadn't been in as much danger, that through her he hadn't attempted a frightful act of getting himself killed. And perhaps it was enough, what she did, perhaps it was just enough to fix things.

Tiny fingers slipped in her hand, he smiled at her, a gentle tugging to invite her over to where the rest of her family were becoming entwined in a ruleless game. Masaki excepted, that smile of his it seemed to just make everything disappear. As she watched it did not fade, rather his joyous laughter made it seem as of nothing bad had even happened.

Is it the End?

!!Read Me!!

The Choice is up to you, in my opinion there are a whole lot of plot points to wrap up and this doesn't really fit for the end of the story, no...that'd make a horribly ridiculous ending. So please read the next chapter! The next chapter? Yes, it's already out. I'll post the link, but if it doesn't work the next chapter is accesible through my profile (Click my Username at the top). You see (one of the reasons this chappy took me so friggin long) we are moving to the sequel. It might not make much sense why I'm moving to part 2 until you go read it, so I implore you. The sequel is called "Revisions of Us", and I'm sure you'll all enjoy it greatly.

A/N: I was very late with this one. Please, I beg you, don't kill me.