A/N-It's been a while, but I want to but it out there that I will finish the story, though I wish I could at a faster rate. Thank you for all the nice feedback I have been getting even though I haven't been updating for a while.
Chapter 21- Lies
"My head hurts." Haruka stated simply at breakfast the next morning. Haruka's dad looked up somberly from the morning paper and gave his daughter an analyzing look. Haruka returned the stare with an expressionless mask, picking at her food absent-mindedly with her fork.
"It must be the stress, just go up to bed and rest." Haruka's dad grumbled as he took a sip from his coffee mug. Haruka placed her fork down and pushed the plate away from her face, gripping the side of the table as she did so. Because of last night's events, the previous night was an unrelenting nightmare filled with guilt and sadness that refused to allow her to sleep. And now that it was morning, the irritability that followed was unavoidable. Beneath the mantles soft exterior she could feel her fingers shaking with fatigue. Haruka's dad looked over at his daughter and sighed.
"You fill your live with teen drama; don't suffer because of boy troubles. Times like this I wish your mom was here to tell you----"
"Dad, dad…." Haruka said as she lifted her bent head over to him, "I get it, but it's just, I feel like I did something…..something…I don't know…..stupid, something wrong. Something that's just eating at my stomach." She sighed into her hands and collapsed on the table.
Her dad's hand reached her head gently from across the table. He patted her hair lightly and remained quiet as Haruka looked over into the distance, feeling her head throb uneasily.
"Ryuzaki." She whispered as she closed her eyes, bracing the memories that came flooding into her brain like a tide.
The look of his eyes as he bore into her mind where enough to send her into a small attack of panic. She did something wrong but she wasn't sure just what.
A knock on the back door tore her from her thoughts and she got up to answer it wordlessly.
When she opened the door she was met by Light who bore a wide smile on his face, "Morning."
"Morning…" she got out softly as Haruka's dad yelled out from behind, "Morning!"
Light waved at him and moved to take Haruka's hand, "Ready to go."
Haruka blinked dazed and shook her head in confusion. "Ready to go where?"
Light displayed another coy smile and said, "Anywhere you would like to go."
Haruka looked over at her dad uncertainly who continued to read the paper. "It's early."
Light laughed, "The earlier the better, means we have more time to spend together don't you think?"
Haruka felt uncertain as she gazed at Light. She didn't know what exactly she was feeling but she didn't feel right. It was a strange emotion; unwanted especially because of the confusion she felt when she saw Light. Again, she felt like everything was racing past her proximity to a destination in the future that was more unknown to her than anything else in the world.
She looked away from Light's expectant almond eyes and cleared her throat. Tilting her head slightly away she let her hair fall into her face, hiding her obvious uncertainty.
Light noticed this and tensed at the door, "Is there anything wrong?" he said his voice stiff.
Haruka gave a small smile and said gently, "I'm tired Light…I don't think I'd be much fun to you right now."
Light stood frozen in place as Haruka continued, "Why don't you go out with your other friends. It'll be better if I get some rest."
Light stood quiet then muttered, taking a step closer to Haruka "You're the only friend I have, ---"
"Lies." Haruka said as she tried to give him a small smile. Behind him, her mind numbly registered, was the cloudless blue sky stretching from all the corners of her line of vision.
"….Your the only friend I want."
Haruka looked at his eyes and placed her hand gently on his cheek. She stroked the softness of his skin against her fingertip and saw Light's eyes lock into place with hers.
Behind her, she noticed her dad eye them sharply behind the paper but she ignored the gaze and brushed her fingers all over his face, noticing just how beautiful Light really was. Something she always knew, but somehow painfully acknowledged until now. As she did so she noticed the soft redness that had settled on Light's face.
Taking her fingers to his lips she let them linger on their softness, feeling Light's eyes look over at her hand with small apprehension.
"Haru----"he began to say, but Haruka covered his mouth with her hand.
"Why don't you ask Shiori, it'll be fun." She said simply. Haruka noticed the nearly emotionless tone in her voice.
Light scowled at her and snatched her hand, surprising Haruka as he did so "I thought, I told you that Shiori…."
Haruka blinked and looked away from Light, silencing him from completing his sentence. After a moment, Haruka let out a small laugh, "Hey, I don't mind, I think I was being immature….you have other friends…and I just kept thinking of myself….I kept on thinking…no I wasn't thinking….and you should…"
She tried not to look into Light's eyes as she said this… "You should apologize…to Shiori."
Light made a small sound of discomfort before saying, solemnly, "I think….that maybe,"
Haruka cut his sentence midway, her throat felt shaky and dry but her words came out clearer than imagined, "No, go apologize to Shiori for leaving without giving her an explanation, she was your guest and you left, the least you could do is go explain."
Her hand faltered in the air, hovering in the distance between her and Light's soft and frustrated face. Like eternity, she waited, patient but impatient, knowing but misunderstanding for Light's answer. Light finally looked up at her bright eyes and nodded. Without another word he gave a small wave to Haruka's dad, who continued to eye them cautiously, and stepped down from the steps he was standing on. Haruka closed the door almost immediately, feeling her dad's eyes tear her apart from behind like claws.
"Haruka." He said in no specific tone, just a mere reassurance that he was there watching as she stood silently at the door. After a bit she mustered a clumsy smile.
"Idiot." She muttered under her breath.
***********
Light's harsh footsteps echoed across the quiet air as he marched down the street toward his house. He had his hands in his pockets as he walked, his face expressionless, but that couldn't hide that apparent anger that boiled down inside him.
Ryuk hovered nearby, a quiet but lopsided grim stood on his face. "You seem angry."
Light stopped abruptly and stood still for a moment, his body rigid. "Idiot." He spat suddenly, as he continued to march the road with heavy and ungraceful steps. Ryuk bristled behind him, "Don't beat yourself up, Haruka is just being…"
"An idiot." Light said again but this time with more anger, "I wasn't referring to myself as the idiot, Ryuk, I'm talking about Haruka. She's more an idiot than I thought she could be."
Light's face was passive even as he scorned Haruka. It was an ugly feeling, and the words tasted like sand as he spoke them. But for a strange and disgusting reason, his heart lightened up as he spoke.
"Haruka is getting on my nerves. Why are all women like this?!" he said as looked angrily towards Ryuk.
Ryuk chuckled as he spoke, his words rough and dripping with rich sarcasm, "Isn't she the reason why you're doing all this, the reason why you're Kira?"
Light sighed impatient and frowned, "She's not the reason, she's part of many reasons why I do what I do," Light gritted his teeth as he spoke, "Besides, Haruka is always busy doubting me, always asking for more than I can give her right now, she doesn't understand what I'm trying to achieve for both us…she's…."
"Confused." Ryuk said suddenly, his voice dropping the sarcasm for a minute, "Light, Haruka really likes you, but so far the only one asking for more than she can give is you. " Light stood quiet for a moment,
"I like you better when you're laughing."
Ryuk started smiling again,
"You're right that was completely out of character." Ryuk analyzed Light for a bit before saying, "So what are you going to do now?"
Light sighed but apparently had calmed down slightly, "I'm going to apologize to Shiori, it wouldn't due to have her mad at me…."
Ryuk looked quizzically at Light, "For what reason?" Light shrugged and changed his walking route as they began to reach his house, "There might come a time where I might need her."
Ryuk seemed curious but decided to remain silent. They journeyed several blocks down the street, past houses, apartments and the bustling life of people rushing off to places. Light recalled Shiori lived near the University so he made his way towards the school and once he reached it turned left. When he finally arrived at Shiori's place he felt a sudden urge to turn back. Nevertheless he climbed up the small flight of steps and knocked twice on her door. Near him was a bird cage where two white pigeons looked over at him with red eyes. Light could feel their gentle gaze on him like a knife. After a minute, someone opened the door and looked at Light quizzically. It was Takada.
"Light, um, Good Morning, may I help you?" She gave him a small smile and pulled back her hair behind her ear. Light smiled back as pleasantly as he could and nodded.
"Sorry to bother you so early in the morning, but is Shiori home?"
Takada's smile vanished instantly to be replaced with an expression of displeasure.
"Wait one moment."
Almost instantly Takada closed the door with a bang and disappeared. Light let out a small sound of annoyance. He didn't wait long before the door opened again. This time Shiori stared back at him, her large brown eyes looking at him blankly.
"Yagami-san." She let out, bowing slightly, "to what do I owe this visit." She gripped the door with her left hand, blue veins visible through the morning light.
Light bowed and said quickly, "I came to apologize….Shiroi…..I…"
The door began to quickly close in front of him and he stuck his foot in, making the door stop with dull thud. Shiori looked up gently at Light and waited her eyes soft and expectant. Light slowly placed his hand on the door and smiled as he pulled it open. Shiori placed her left hand toward her chest and whispered, "Yagami-san, it's alright, you do not have to explain anything to me….I was only happy that I could spend at least a little time with you…I…you see…" Shiori slurred as she looked away, a small velvet cover placed on her cheeks.
Light gently placed a finger on her chin and pushed it upwards, leveling it with his own, and smiled.
Behind him, Ryuk raised an eyebrow and whistled in between his teeth, but Light continued to smile pleasantly as the hand which had been previously placed on the door leveled to Shiori's and ultimately held it, his finger's caressing her hand gently. Shiori yelped and made to pull away but Light held onto it as he pulled her to an embrace.
"Forgive me." He whispered as Shiori's body clashed with his.
"Woah…Light…you only came here to apologize remember?" Ryuk chimed behind him but Light continued to hold on to Shiori, possibly even tighter than before.
Shiori was tense as she muttered, "Did you leave because of Haruka?"
Light pushed her away gently by the shoulders and looked at her directly,
"Remember what I told you, Haruka and me are just friends…I don't feel much for Haruka…at least..." and he paused before he said this as if to add some emphasis "I used to…but that's all over now."
Shiori looked up at him with a doubtful look reflected in her eyes, "When you asked me to the festival, I was a bit surprised and even a little, if not completely, suspicious of what you really wanted from me." Shiori looked side ways at the pigeons that stood in the cage by the wall, "When Haruka saw you with me…she seemed so upset….Light…please…" tears where ebbing from the side of her eyes now and Light made to wipe them away with his finger but Shiori took his hand in hers and said, in a soft and gentle voice…"please, don't play games with me…'
Ryuk looked over at Light, whose face was solemn yet gentle in contrast to the frustrated look he had when they had left Haruka's. "Shiori….I would never play games with you…I like you too much…."
Shiori smiled and pecked Light on the cheek, "Okay then, I forgive you, even though you still haven't explained why you left…but I don't want to hear it…" she giggled and looked at the door,
"Takada's probably dying of jealousy right now…"
"I'm going out for a walk." Haruka whispered as she put the last of the plates away in the cabinet. Her dad looked up from his newspaper and he threw her a weary look.
"If you think it'll do you some good, go ahead just be careful."
Haruka nodded as she grabbed her jacket from the backside of her chair and made toward the door.
She gave her dad a small reassuring smile and then stepped out.
It was almost midday now. The sun was blazing above the whole city and the atmosphere felt busy, as if everyone in the world was doing something at the moment.
Haruka walked along the sidewalk, with one foot stepping on the wet green grass and the other clobbering upon the hard cement. She noticed so many more people than usual, the people that seemed to escape her eyes where now clearer than before and she began to feel overwhelmed thought there was no apparent reason to be so.
She almost laughed at the absurdness of the way she felt at that moment and she had to continuously stop to reflect on what exactly she was feeling.
Light was her friend, and had always been by her side, remembering memories where he was absent was harder than remembering times when he was there, but now there was something abnormally different about him. The way he was now was unusual she was almost certain of that. There were so many excuses and many more misunderstandings. She wasn't sure she could believe in him anymore. She was absolutely terrified of it though. Haruka had no idea what Light was up to anymore. And she was scared. Scared of being left behind.
She had wondered around the city for several hours.
The business of the life around her entertained her as she strode along, stopping by display windows and buying herself a variety of pastries along the way. She walked on for several more minutes until she came upon the sudden urge to rest somewhere. Haruka sighed deeply as she sat down on a nearby bench, which was facing opposite of an enormous water fountain. She heard the rush of the water behind her and felt the small stray droplets of water land on the back of her neck. It felt refreshing to say at least and she relaxed as she bit softly on her small bread.
After a moment a bird landed at her feet and gazed at her expectantly. She blinked a couple of times and then smiled. She tore off a small piece of bread from her bun and bent over to place it on the ground before the bird. At the exact moment she did this, the bird turned his head sideways and hopped over to her left and took a piece of doughnut that had been placed their suddenly. A small ring of laughter wafted to her ear and she looked up to see a woman that she had not noticed before sitting next to her on the bench. The woman had long black hair, was wearing a pair of sunglasses and a dark brown scarf. Haruka stood watching the woman as she picked another piece of doughnut and threw it at the bird. More birds had come to gather now and she ripped up another piece to share. Haruka smiled as she saw the birds fly away with food in their mouths and looked over again at the lady. The woman just continued to stare at the birds paying no attention to anything else as if lost in thought. Haruka looked away and made to leave but then she heard faintly,
"It'd be nice to fly wouldn't it?"
Haruka looked over at the stranger standing next to her and saw that she was staring straight at her. Haruka sat back down slowly and nodded.
"Sure, I'd guess it'd be nice"
"It certainly would, wouldn't it?" The lady said again her voice soft and kind.
"Yeah." Haruka replied. She felt strangely inclined to talk to this woman now that she heard her voice, which was filled with weariness and melancholy all mixed up.
"You could fly and see the people that have left you anytime that you wanted. Have you ever wanted to do that?"
Haruka blinked and cleared her throat before trying to answer, but she was at lost for words.
The lady noticed her uneasiness and smiled, "I'm sorry if my question was strange, you don't have to answer if you wish."
Haruka shook her head, "No, it's alright, actually I believe that is a very beautiful way to think of flying." Looking up at the sky she continued, "And to answer your question, yeah, I would like to go visit someone. You see my mother died when I was still a kid and sometimes I would like to her ask her a lot of things, and ask her for advice when I don't know the way out. So flying to see her sounds like a good plan."
Haruka smiled at the lady and the woman looked away. "Do you usually have things you want to talk to her about? What about your dad?"
Haruka laughed, "My dad is the world's most enormous idiot!!!!!!"
The lady looked at Haruka with a shocked expression and Haruka waved her hands, "No I didn't mean like that, I meant it as he isn't very good at handling the problems of a girl my age you know?"
The lady smiled again, "I understand, it must be very difficult for him right? What with talk of boys and everything…"
"You stereotype me, ma'am" Haruka said half laughing.
"Ma'am? Silly girl, I am not as old as all that." The woman said indignantly. Now that Haruka observed closer the woman didn't seem much older that 25. She looked away embarrassedly,
"Sorry," she whispered and then said suddenly, "That's right, I'm Haruka by the way," She extended her hand out and the lady looked at her surprised, but took the gesture anyway.
"My name is…." The woman started but hesitated for a moment.
"Naomi" she said affirmatively in the end and gave Haruka a smile.
"Naomi, that's a nice name, ma'am."
Naomi narrowed her eyes as Haruka laughed and then said, "You must be a handful to your dad, am I right?"
Haruka stopped laughing and sighed, "Easy to guess, huh?"
Naomi looked at her apologetically, "No Haruka-chan I didn't mean it that way."
"No, I can't get mad at you for saying a truth can I?"
Naomi looked down and shook her head, "Why do you say such a thing?"
Haruka smiled again and sighed, "Right now, I think I might be bothering all the people I care about.'
"Why do you say that?"
"I'm sorry; I don't want to burden you with my troubles."
Naomi laughed, and Haruka noticed how beautiful it sounded. "Just tell this stranger all your problems and she might be able to help you.'
Haruka looked around frantically for a place to start but she started absurdly with, "There's a boy."
Naomi smirked and Haruka blushed, "and you like this boy…." Naomi urged.
"Yeah, I've known his since we were children, you could say we were inseparable, and I have always had feelings for him for as long as I can remember…."
From there she went on and told Naomi everything. Naomi listened quietly until she finished and Haruka explained in detail everything from when her and Light where children and up to the events that had just recently happened. However she didn't mention any names.
"So, I don't know what I should do, he's lying to me all the time, I don't know what he does, and I don't know what he thinks and I get…"
"Worried." Naomi finished. She was looking at the ground now. It was already dark and the lampposts had been turned on. Under the glow from those lamps she could tell Naomi was crying.
"Naomi-san…." Haruka whispered.
"I know exactly how you feel Haruka…exactly."
Haruka wanted to say something but she felt like it was Naomi's turn to let out anything that was bothering her. They were two strangers venting out their problems, fears, and insecurities. It was almost funny.
"But you have to talk to him before things get out of hand. Trust me." Naomi looked over at Haruka and Haruka felt taken aback.
"If he really cares about you, tell him….tell him how you feel, and demand he tell you everything."
Haruka looked at Naomi worriedly but Naomi only tried to manage a small tired smile.
"He does sounds like he cares though, by what you tell me, I think that he would tell you…don't you think so?"
"I'm pretty sure…"
Naomi raised an eyebrow… "You have to be sure of his feelings for you….you have to ask him…ask him if he loves you…"
"Ask him if he loves me?"
"That is the only way you can trust him from now on…."
"Loves me…?"
Naomi nodded, "Has he ever told you before?"
Haruka was about to nod but then hesitated. Now that she thought of it…
"No…he hasn't."
"Then ask him if he does…." Naomi assured…
Then Naomi said suddenly, "Do you love him?"
Haruka stayed silent at the question. "Do I?"
Of course, right?
We've been friends since we where children….he's always been…there….of course…I love…
I love?
Him.
I love….
"I do…I love him."
"Then tell him." Naomi said. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and smiled,
"Are you okay…?" Haruka whispered as she laid her hand on Naomi's back.
"Yes…it's just…" Naomi's eyes seemed to waver for a moment but then blinked rapidly…she stood silent for a moment and then stood up…
"I should get going." She said gathering the purse she carried and tying the scarf she wore tighter against her neck.
Haruka was slightly taken aback but nodded….
"It is late isn't it?"
Naomi nodded and bowed, "It was a pleasure to have met you Haruka….somehow talking to you has made you feel so much better."
Haruka got up and felt the rush of the wind hit her face…"Me too….Naomi-san thank you for listening…and whatever might be troubling you…..I know just by seeing you that you are strong enough to overcome it."
Naomi wavered where she stood and then nodded. She turned around and began walking away. Haruka made to do the same thing when she heard,
"Haruka-chan.."
Haruka turned around and saw Naomi who was still facing the other way but had stopped in her steps…
"There is someone I would visit….if I could fly…"
Haruka raised her eyebrow but Naomi continued walking away and Haruka felt this small sensation tugging at her heart, as if all the sorrows of the world had suddenly collapsed on her shoulders with no explanation why.
Naomi continued walking into the night for a while afterwards. The tears that where falling on her face didn't seem like they could stop on their own so she made a stupid effort to wipe them away repeatedly with her left hand.
Even though it didn't mean much in the end, the company of the girl named Haruka helped her feel connected to the world even for a moment. The chaos of Raye's death uprooted her from the reality of her life. All she could think of was avenging him….and she would.
After Raye had died she had inspected all his belongings.
She found all his paperwork, all his work.
"He worked for the Kira case…and he was tailing a possible suspect…" Naomi whispered to herself through clench teeth.
"His name was Light Yagami."
"Raye had taken many photos of Light Yagami….."
So Naomi already knew how this boy looked…and she had no doubt in her mind that this kid was Kira.
It was a bit incredible at first that a boy so young could be involved in the killing of thousands of people but Naomi knew.
She had no concrete evidence but she knew…it was in her heart….
"He killed him I know it…"
As Naomi walked over to the crossing line she waited for the light to turn green.
On the other side of the road there was a couple who was ready to cross the street at the same time she was, and she looked over at them casually as they walked past her.
It was girl with black hair in arm with a tall boy with honey-colored eyes….
She faintly registered in her mind that this boy looked strangely familiar.
She turned her head to get a better glance at him and exclaimed without realizing it
"Light Yagami!"
Sure enough the boy looked over at her, and the girl who accompanied him seemed startled, "Excuse me?" he asked politely as he gazed at her calmly. It took all of her strength not to jump on the boy, attack him, and kill him with her own hands…so she satisfied herself with trembleling violently in place as she gazed upon the cold eyes of this young murderer.
"You are a murderer…!"she hissed as Light narrowed his eyes.
"Hey! What gives you the right to…!" the girl started but Naomi cut her off with her hand,
"You are Kira."
The girl let out a small gasp and Light laughed,
"You clearly are a lunatic, approaching complete strangers in the middle of the night and accusing them of them of nonsense."
He made to leave but Naomi yelled, out, "You killed Raye….!"
Light stopped in his steps and the girl looked up at him…
"Light lets go…she's obviously mad…."
They continued to walk away and Naomi stood trembling in place.
That was the most reckless move she could have made and she regretted with all the force that existed in her being.
She collapsed on the floor as she broke out into an uncontrollable sob.
"Ryusaki, open the door." Watari's voice wafted as he knocked briskly on L's door.
L lay on his bed with his arms spread open and sighed.
"What?!"
"Are you alright?"
"What do you think?!"
"I don't think anything now let me in."
"Go away."
"L, there's no point in spending all your time moping around like this…."
"Did you call Raye's fiancé?" L said ignoring the last comment.
"Yes, but she did not answer, it appears she has been out all day."
"Well keep calling until she picks up." L said rolling his eyes.
"Why are you so intent on reaching her sir?" Watari said from the other side of the door.
"What do you think?!"
"I don't think anything so tell me."
L sighed heavily as he muttered, "We can't have her alone in her fragile state of mind….especially if she discovers what Raye was up to and tries to do something stupid on her own."
"You really believe that she would do that?"
"I believe it's quite possible."
"Well then I'll get to it."
"Okay then leave…!" L roared.
"Oh and one more thing…." Watari continued in a calm voice,
"What is it now…?" L mumbled.
"Haruka called."
L stood up quickly from his bed and rushed to the door, opening it roughly…
"And…?"
With a smile on his face Watari said, "I told her that you didn't want to talk to her."
"Why on earth would you tell her that!?" L said as glared at Watari with narrowed eyes.
"Is that then not the case…?" Watari answered as he raised an eyebrow.
L stood taken aback and then roared, "Of coarse it is I don't want to talk to that foolish girl.!!!!!!!!!"
He slammed the door once again and crashed on his bed.
"Go and call Naomi until she answers."
"As you wish, but I get the impression you want to see Haruka again..."
Before L could yell at him again Watari left with a smile on his face.
L lay in the darkness for a while until he muttered angrily to Watari, even though he was long gone,
What do you think...
A/N- Thank you once again, for reading!
Feedback is appreciated.
^-^