Author's note: The updates are meant to be daily, but sixth form is much more work than I thought it should be and I really have to put that first. So, updates might be a bit sporadic, well…they might be every day for a while and then I might miss a couple of days and then they will be every day again. It will be mostly everyday anyway.
Thanks so much for the reviews, and thanks for pointing out my mistake last chapter; it's all fixed now.
Regulus Black
1) It wasn't like he hated Sirius, he definitely didn't hate him. Everything that went wrong or broke could be blamed on his elder brother and it saved Regulus a whole lot of trouble. It was horrible when Sirius pushed him down the stairs, or made fun of him in front of people, but at least he got his own back through his mother and father.
He never really played with Sirius, but that didn't matter to Regulus, because he had Kreacher.
2) Regulus had been dying to go to Hogwarts ever since Sirius had gone, not because of the way Sirius always went on about how great it was, but because of the way his mother always went on about how Sirius was such a let down to the family. Regulus wanted to go and do everything how his mother wanted, because it felt good to be the one the family was proud of.
3) Regulus knew where he wanted to be, he knew where he felt he belonged. But it was still nauseating sitting under that hat. It took so long as it chattered along cheerfully, not realising that Regulus's reputation hung in the balance especially when it was seriously considering Gryffindor! Regulus was not Sirius.
He had to do this, he had to make his family proud. Else he would turn out like Sirius.
The seconds ticked on.
And on.
And changed into minutes.
And then…
"SLYTHERIN!"
4) Regulus had never had a close relationship with Sirius, he had got him into trouble as often as possible and had suffered a lot of bullying at his brother's hands. But it had still been Sirius who had stolen a pain-relieving potion from the store cupboard for him when he had got into a nasty fight, and it had been him who had chased off a sixth year Ravenclaw who had given Regulus a hard time.
He was still his brother.
And it hurt when he ran away, without even telling Regulus that he was going.
5) It was when Sirius left that Regulus began fantasising about being part of the dark group Lucius Malfoy had begun recruiting for.
The Death Eaters.
Because then Regulus would have the power over who stayed and who went…and who lived and who died.
6) It was barely a week after the mark was burnt into his skin that Regulus came to his realisation; death eaters did not have power. They just followed orders, or met their death.
7) Regulus had never been a bully like Sirius, he had never terrorised people at Hogwarts. He kept himself to himself. Becoming a Death Eater opened a whole new world for Regulus; and he didn't like it.
Men, women, even small children. The screaming just echoed in his head every night, he tossed and he turned, but he just couldn't sleep and he couldn't make it stop.
8) He began to wish that someone, anyone, would defeat the Dark Lord, even though it would mean his own death. At least then the screaming would stop.
He let the Dark Lord borrow Kreacher to see what he was doing, to perhaps turn spy and inform someone of what was going to happen so they could stop him.
Anything, to make the screaming stop.
9) He never expected Kreacher to get hurt, but the thought of the Dark Lord leaving him there to die. Kreacher, who had been the only true friend he had.
And Regulus had sent him there.
10) He went back to the cave, made Kreacher feed him the potion which made him relive the torturing again and again, but the screaming played through his mind constantly anyway. It perhaps hurt more to repeatedly see himself discovering Sirius had left, the betrayal and loneliness becoming raw again and again. And then it was gone, he switched the lockets, delivered his final orders to Kreacher, his only friend.
And then, he let himself be dragged under. Kreacher could have apparated him back, he could have lived. But living with the constant soundtrack of screaming was not living at all; Regulus just wanted to escape it.
Dying didn't hurt, it didn't feel like giving up, it didn't feel like losing the fight of life. It felt like finally making up for the terrible things he had done.
He was helping to bring down Voldemort, and he was doing something for Sirius's side.
But Sirius would never know it.
At least now, the screaming had finally stopped.