Chapter 6- "ACCIDENT!"

Cartman got up at about eight-thirty. He was going to have blueberry waffles for breakfast with Coolwhip, strawberries, syrup, and chocolate ice-cream. Mello thought it was the must disgusting thing in the world but said nothing to his son. Cartman began getting everything out as he cleared the counter and began toasting the waffles.

"You know, Mello." Cartman began. "The waffles remind me of Kenny, his family eats them a lot since he's poor."

Mello sighed. "Wow, that's rough. I feel sorry for that kid. Which one is he?

Cartman sighed in frustration. "Oh my god, Mello. You better get it right since they're all coming over today! My friends are Stan, Kyle, and Kenny. Don't screw it up!"

Mello went back to the paper. "Who's bright idea was...Oh right, it's your birthday...I'll have to pick them up at the airport...great.."

Cartman opened up the Coolwhip and began singing. "Coolwhip! Coolwhip! Yummy, yummy, Coolwhip! Everyone do the COOOOOLWHIIIPP! Yeah!"

Mello shook his head. "Remind me to cancel your application for American Idol. You would barely make it."

Cartman scoffed. "Everyone knows I could damn make American Idol. I could so rock Lady Gaga's "Pokerface"! Stop doubting me, Mello!"

Mello just laughed as Cartman began singing a different song. Mello was just glad that Cartman changed his mind about having his birthday party at an expensive place. It took Mello all the strength he had to force Cartman to change his mind about the whole thing but it worked. Cartman was just a little bit upset that the moonbounce had to be takened away since it got damaged on the way to the Mafia's hideout. Mello just sighed again and watched Cartman sit at the table with him. Mello watched in horror as Cartman ate his breakfast.

"Cartman. Should I have the ambulance on stand-by for Kenny?" asked Mello. "Man, it must suck to die all the time and have to live for it all over. Damn, he can't die can he?"

"Well, Kenny deals with it fine." Cartman growled. "Why are you so interested in Kenny? He's not that special."

Matt entered the room with his cigarette and began playing a game. Cartman continued with his waffles as Mello turned the page of the newspaper to realize that it was the same boring news he got every week. Mello just threw the paper down and just sat there bored out of his mind until he looked at his watch. He was late to pick up Kenny, Kyle, and Stan from the airport."

"Oh damn, their flight came in an hour ago!" Mello cursed himself out for forgetting. He grabbed his coat."Alright, I'll go get your little friends..."

Cartaman clapped his hands. "Daddy, can you get me McDonald's on the way back? I'm still hungry."

Mello sighed. "Fine, I'll get it. Your friends probably want some too."

Catman clapped his hands. "Matt, can you make sure Monopoly, Uno Attack, and Double Trouble are set up?"

Matt snickered. "You always cheat, Cartman. Don't your friends know that?"

Cartman looked evilly at Matt. "Oh no...I just want to cheat so I can piss Kyle off...."

Matt laughed at Cartman's terrible behavior. He kind of wanted to see him interact with his friends since he thought that Cartman had none due to his behavior. It was always surprising to Matt because Cartman was basically a cynical, mean, bigoted, controlling, bastard. Matt was also excited for company since the workload of Kira got to be very hard to deal with at times. Cartman was glad it was over because he got tired of hearing about who Kira killed, why so many people worship Kira, Kira this, and Kira that. He almost smashed the TV because Kira's program came on. He was just so sick of it.

"Matt, how come Kira has his own show?" asked Cartman. He waited for Matt to reply. "I mean, it's all just corruption."

Matt smoked his cigarette. "Well, he just does...People think he's god which is really messed up."

Cartman agreed. "It is so totally messed up. Kira thinks he's so hella cool with his damn notebook! He should kill the real way, that's cheating!"

Matt cracked up as he played with his PSP. Cartman finished his waffles and looked out the window. Matt put down his PSP and decided to smoke another cigarette again. This time, he caught Cartman trying to destroy Kyle's gift that had arrived today. Kyle promised Cartman's two gifts. Matt grabbed the gift from Cartman.

"Ants In The Pants 2?!?!" Matt read. He looked at the box. "Weren't you telling me you had one of these already?"

Cartman sighed in frustration. "It's just like the first one but it's frigging multipayer now! Goddamn, Jew!"

Matt just laughed. "Man, you hate the kid's guts that bad, Cartman? What did he ever do you to you?"

Cartman nodded. "Matt, if we do get the magician...Can he light Kyle on fire?

Matt shook his head. "No, we can't do that to Kyle. Cartman behave."

Cartman sighed as he waited by the window. He wasn't really sure he wanted to see his friends again but he had no choice. They were already on their way to see him.

X X X

Mello stepped on the breaks as he got out of the car. "Cartman just had to say McDonald's didn't he? It took us a damn hour to get everyone's meals! God, Cartman!"

Stan looked at Mello. "So, you run a mafia? I guess that's....sort of cool....Do you get to whack people?"

Mello smiled. "Yeah, you could say that."

Kyle tensed up as he went nearer to the door. "Um....."

Kenny put his arm around Kyle. "It's ok, Kyle. Nothing bad will happen today."

Kyle looked at Kenny. "Are you sure, Kenny? You'll say that and then you end up dead."

Mello looked directly at Kenny. "Oh, I made sure the ambulance was on stand-by for you, kid."

Kenny just shrugged. "Um....Thanks?"

Mello opened the door. "Cartman, your gang is here! Hurry up, they're waiting!"

Cartman wasn't inside. He was outside of the house on the porch with Matt. Cartman got interested in one of the games and wanted to watch Matt beat it.

Mello growled. "It's just like him to not tell me where he is."

"So, which one is our room?" asked Stan. "It's just for a week or so."

"A week? Cartman told me it was going to just be a few days." Mello bit into some chocolate. "Whatever. I really don't care."

Mello sat on the couch as the rest of the boys followed suit. Mello flipped through channels as Terence and Phillip came on, Mello was about to change it when Stan grabbed the remote. Mello sighed and went to go look for Cartman as he went out the back door to see Mello and Matt bonding over the video game that they were playing. Cartman began cheering Matt on as Matt went to the last level.

Mello smiled a little bit. He was happy the two were bonding but it had to be cut short.

"Cartman, you're friends are all waiting for you. Don't keep them waiting!" Mello replied. "Are you sure Kenny will be ok?"

Cartman growled. "YES! Stop worrying about him so much! What's your problem?!?!"

Mello sighed. "Well excuse me for caring about what happens to him or not! He's here for a week, I better have all emergency numbers in every room!"

"He'll be fine, it's not like he's going to--"

A gun could be heard from the house as Mello and Matt ran back to see Kenny on the ground. Everyone thought Kenny was dead for sure.

"Oh my god, we killed Kenny!" said Stan.

"We're bastards!" replied Kyle.

Kenny suddenly got up. "No, I'm ok! Everything's alright! Nothing's wrong! I'm fine!"

Mello checked Kenny for any injuries. "Are you sure?!?! Man, I walk out one minute and he almost died! What the HELL were the two of you thinking about touching my gun?!?!? You almost killed someone!"

Stan's eyes widened. "W-We're sorry, Mello...I-It won't happen again!"

"Bull to the shit, Stan and Kyle!" Mello yelled. He was really mad now. "I'm putting all the dangerous stuff away!" Mello shifted to Kenny. "You need a safety suit on, Kenny! I won't calm down until it's on."

Kenny looked in disopointment. "It's fucking pink!"

Mello rolled his eyes. "SO?!?! I don't want to have to clean up after your dead ass when you have an accident!"

Kenny glared. "IT'S FUCKING PINK!"

Mello growled. "Like I give a damn what color it is! It was the last one they had!"

Kenny growled and put the safety suit on. "Man, I look like a whore. The thong is making my ass stick out!"

Everyone snickered as Kenny sat down at the table eating his McDonald's. Mello sat down on the couch and finally relaxed as he took one of Kenny's perverted magazines and looked through them. It wasn't long after that Kenny began choking on his McChicken sandwhich. Mello rushed over as he tripped over a chair landing in a bowl of experied milk left out for Matt's cat. He got up and ran to Kenny who was coughing and hacking as he managed to get the food out of his mouth.

"I'm ok! I'm fine! It's alright! I'm not choking anymore!"

Mello slammed the table. "Damn you, Kenny! Everytime you're supposed to die, you just don't! You made me fall in expired milk, damn it!"

Kenny just laughed. "Sorry, Mello."

Mello just sighed. "I need to take a long hot shower....No one disturb me!"

Before Mello could go anywhere, Kenny was trying to plug in his ipod to an outlet. It began to spark. Mello dived after Kenny as they both fell to the ground. Mello looked at Kenny who just smiled and laughed. Mello didn't find this funny, he felt like he had to be Kenny's bodyguard twenty-four seven! Mello couldn't even sit still without worrying if Kenny would hurt himself/kill himself at anytime. Matt began laughing as Mello glared. Again, Mello found this to be annoying as he watched Kenny sit down and watch TV.

"Man, I might as well check in at the nearest mental institution!" yelled Mello. "I'm going to go insane!"

Matt snickered. "Boss...Kenny's looking at our piranha tank! Hope he doesn't fall in!"

Mello dashed after Kenny and duct-taped him to a chair. "There, now we don't have to worry about you."

Kenny began shifting in his chair. "Um....I have to pee..."

Mello's expression changed. "What? What do you have to do?

Kenny crossed his legs. "BATHROOM! I have to fucking pee, Mello!"

Mello sighed as he un-taped Kenny from the chair. Kenny ran straight into the bathroom. Mello felt like he was having a heart attack but he wasn't. He just couldn't keep up with Kenny.

"Like I said, I'll be in that hot shower..." replied Mello. "Remind me to never get a girl pregnant."

That's Chapter 6. Please R&R