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The Captain Who Would Be Redeemed
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He isn't all what I imagined him to be, especially with the rumors that went around Rabanastre two years ago. You know, the ones about the kingslayer and the traitor to all of Dalmasca. I pretty much went along with the general consensus and hated him. What with the image of him that boy I call my best friend put in my head at the time. Kingslayer and brotherslayer.
I kinda thought he'd be this gruff old man with an evil glint in his eye. I thought he'd be the kind of guy who hungered only for battle and blood. But he's definitely not like that at all. The last thing I expected was what I got: This handsome, young-looking guy, who, while he carries the weight of the world on his shoulders, is the most compassionate, kindest, protective, best guy I know.
I remember when we were in the Sandsea, he offered to rest if I needed it. I quickly jumped up and said I'm tougher than that, and he smiled and laughed and agreed with me. It would be kind of cool to have him as an older brother, I think.
It's amazing how this guy has shattered my perceptions of people. I mean, here is this guy accused of killing the king and being traitor to his country running around with all of us and risking everything for the princess. I mean, if you could just see the way he looks at her- it's with such devotion. I don't think she ever needs to worry about anything ever happening to her. If I had someone look at me like that, I wouldn't be afraid of anything ever again. I pretty much think I could do anything.
I'm so glad I got to travel with him- definitely an eye opening experience. I really miss him, now, too.
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The last thing I needed was more trouble, and of course I got it. Thanks to my partner, this time, no less. And of course the thief. Associating myself with a petty street waif was one thing, a kingslayer was a different matter entirely. But as usual, trouble has a way of slipping into my life as an annoying pebble caught in my boots. And that happens rather often, I'm ashamed to say.
In any case, he was of incredible value in the passage, even if he did refuse any of the equipment we offered him. The fool was even more stubborn than the thief- stubborn enough to wait until we came across a corpse to retrieve a sword. No use grumbling over it now, though, I suppose.
Speaking of the boy and the captain, there was a problem. I didn't think the waif would be able to get over his prejudice long enough for us to make it out of there alive. I'd like to think that I was persuasive enough to keep him under control.
I didn't know right away what to make of his story. The whole "my evil twin did it" seemed a bit far fetched. Sounded something like what a child would say to avoid trouble. But I'm not one to judge people for their past. I'd be quite the hypocrite, then, wouldn't I?
Seeing as he was the only other male presence with any intelligence about the world other than myself, I spent some time talking with him. Neither of us dredged up the ghosts of our past, though. He was good company, really, once I had gotten over the fact that going into any major city with him at our side was a major liability.
He was also excellent help in training the young ones of our group in combat. He had the dancer and the thief wielding swords much more professionally. He could also keep them entertained for long periods of time, and didn't seem to mind their antics as much as the rest of us. I admire him for that.
I think our little adventure would have gone quite differently had he not been there. We would never have attained an audience with the Marquis, for example. Nor probably, would we have made it out of certain situations unscathed. But I'd like to think I was just as responsible on those occasions.
In any case, I have this fleeting feeling that perhaps we should drop by Archades in the near future. This is odd, considering the animosity I feel for the place.
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I do not regret my actions in Nalbina. Of this much I am sure. As I have previously stated, I prefer not to engage myself in the affairs of Hume wars and prisoners. I am thankful, however, that I chose to drop his cage.
He is older than the others, and wiser. He has seen many battles and he bears many scars. I do not know the stories behind them, but I am reverent.
His heart had suffered great pain, yet now I feel he is healing. And he heals quickly, in body and mind. His conviction has grown as we have traveled, as has his determination.
I have been glad to travel in his company, and I respect his decision to accompany the Lordling to Archadia. He is one who is true to his promise and oaths. There is nothing I hold in higher respect than this.
I have told my partner I would very much enjoy a detour in Archades.
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When I first saw him, I wanted to kill him. I wanted to make him suffer, I wanted to stab him, punch him, throttle him, drown him, anything- anything to make him relive my grief. Anything to make him relive Rek's pain. Anything to make him pay for what he did to me, to Rabanastre. To all of Dalmasca. I wanted him dead. That was the only thing I could think of. I didn't even care that there were soldiers nearby. I didn't care if his sword-arm was vital or necessary or whatever. I didn't care if I died. I wanted him gone.
I don't remember how long it took me to get over that. I think most of it was gone by the time we had gotten out of the Barheim Passage. I don't remember if I believed him by then or not, but the hatred had burned itself out. Maybe it was because I'd had to focus my energy on hacking zombies to bits (how cool is that?) and fending off this giant blood-sucking treasure wanna-be. Maybe it was cause he saved my butt a few times in there.
Anyways… I really respect him now, you know? I know he was telling the truth now. I met Gabranth, or Noah, or whoever. And even before that I trusted him. He taught me stuff while we traveled. He showed me how to use my sword way better than I used to. He's defended me plenty of times, too. I dunno, he kinda stepped in as this brother figure. I don't know if he's just that kind of guy or if he wanted to pay me back for everything he didn't do.
He doesn't need to, though. I trust him now. And I hope I can see him again soon.
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I have no possible way of describing how I felt when I first saw him on the ship. The closest term that comes to mind is vicious abhorrence. There was little I could do in my situation though. Being a captive does not generally allow one to do as she pleases. I did the most I could, which was smacking him and insulting his honor. I regret that now, though.
It did take me a while to trust him. The companions he traveled with (my companions, now, I guess), trusted him to easily. They joked with him through our captivity, laughed with him, planned with him to escape. I didn't understand it. I thought they would see him for what he was- a kingslayer- even though they were no more than a pack of thieves themselves. I didn't quite release or even consider that I was the one who was mistaken.
And now I see that I was. And I am more than relieved to admit it.
Before the war, he was by far the most loyal and honorable of any of my father's nights, and also the kindest. Vossler I could always count on, but his words seemed to carry a sharp edge. Him, though- he was different. He always had a kind word or a smile for me. When I was a child, he would compliment my eyes or my hair and tell me I was looking particularly like a princess. As I grew older, he would bow and offer me a 'good day, majesty', in a genuine voice. I almost wish we could go back to that.
Now, though, I think we understand one another. I often look up to see him standing just behind me, and on the battle field his eyes will always flicker over to make sure I'm safe. He's not an overproctive guardian. He doesn't try to stop me from doing what I must, nor does he think me some delicate flower who doesn't know how to do anything for herself. Instead, he's like a friendly shadow- one I can count on to catch me if I should trip, or if a fiend catches me off guard. He is loyal and trusting, and I know he would do whatever I ask of him. It has taken me some time, but now I too, trust him completely.
I do miss him. Far more than I imagined I would.