2 Aug 2011

Note: Written for "TMI" prompt at LJ comm I-B-4-Y.

Dear Diary: Totally TMI

Dear Diary,

A girl should tell everything to her diary, right? I mean, that's what a diary is for, after all. Telling everything. But after this morning, I'm not so sure.

There's a certain subject I haven't written about in a long time. A certain someone. A certain evil someone that I should totally not have the hots for even if his Lord Hitomi face is so pretty I can't stop staring at it and his hair is so luxurious it makes even Sesshoumaru envious. I'll definitely stop him from getting all the jewel shards. I'll kill him if I have to. Naraku biting the big one is part of my happily ever after with Inuyasha, and I'm gonna have that no matter what. But still…

Remember that time we were fighting him and he got all tentacly and slipped one to Sango? I was totally grossed out but so totally jealous. Why Sango? I'm prettier than her! My hairstyle is better, and my skirt is shorter, even if her slayer costume is skin-tight and makes Miroku hard as Hiraikotsu every time he sees it. So why her and not me?

Mostly, after that day I just tried not to think about it. Sango denied everything. Middle of a fight, she said, I must have imagined it. Maybe Naraku implanted the image in my mind. Then she backed off that angle and acted like if anything did happen, she was hypnotized or something. She babbles something about Kohaku, and where her poor zombie brother is concerned, you can hardly deny that she's pretty messed up. Still, I was curious and she wasn't telling.

Anyhow, this morning, I wasn't even thinking about Naraku or his tentacles. I was just going to pee. Just as I was squatting, out pops Naraku with his dirty little laugh. He's totally Hitomi, hair all wavy and blowing in the breeze, and I can see he's hard in his hakama. I scramble back and tell him if he comes a step closer I'll scream for Inuyasha, but he just smiles. Then it starts. Those long, black, oily tentacles grow from out of his back, making this horrible squidgy sound and smelling worse than Miroku's farts. I'm horrified and totally getting wet at the same time. I know. I'm so sick.

But my back is against a tree and there's no way to run without him catching me. My throat is tight and I can't get words to form. I don't know whether I want Inuyasha to rescue me or not. I mean I do but I don't and I'm dizzy and shaky and Naraku's hand is in his hakama, jerking himself off as a big juicy tentacle starts slithering up between my legs. Up and up, slick and slimy but warm and firm and knowing just where it's going.

The rest? That's TMI, even for a diary. Let's just say I totally see why Sango didn't admit how much she liked it.

Dewa kore de,

Kagome