Okay. I haven't updated for absolute months. Maybe a year, maybe two? I just found this, and I wanted to carry it on. Now, as you might realise, my style of writing has changed, and everything might be a bit different. It has been a year or two after all! =D

This is M rated. PLEASE review, to let me know if its actually worth carrying this on again. Please don't be like what I used to be like, where you read, enjoy it, but never say anything. I really want to know what you think.

Enjoy! I'll update soon.

Disclaimer: I own Colin and Karina.

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Hermiones POV

I walked very slowly in tears back to my house. I pleaded in my head that Colin had left, but I knew that being the annoying guy that he was, he was most likely still hovering about, waiting for me. I could have apparated home but I felt like I needed a good cry and that walking it off might help.

That bimbo was all over Ron. I only caught a slight glimpse, but what I saw made me boil up in jealousy. I had never felt so jealous in my life, not even when Lavender was snogging his face off in our sixth year. I just longed to be able to touch him the way Karina did.

Of course Ron would never want that. Every male in the wizarding world wanted to have their way with Karina, and Ron was the one lucky guy who could do so. He would never want me. I was shameful in comparison to her.

I stared at my cute little house in front of me, dreading walking inside. It started to rain and I suddenly felt my heart beat increase. I just loved Ron so much. I ached for him. I wanted to run my hands through his fiery red hair and whisper him I loved him every morning.

The rain trickled down my face and I found myself enjoying this cool shower. I dreamt of Ron. I dreamt that he would come running up to me any minute and pick me up and kiss me like I always wanted. I then felt pathetic as I hopefully looked behind me. There was nobody. The sudden let down made me cry again, and the image of Karina and Ron flashed once again my head.

"Herms! Goodness!" I heard that irritating voice once again and I groaned. I didn't want to feel this way about Colin. I wanted to love him but I couldn't. I never would when my heart belonged to another. "What are you doing out in the rain? Come inside!"

I looked at Colin, he was standing under the porch of my house, squinting at me, with confusion flashing over his handsome face. I must have looked a mess, like a broken woman.

"I'm coming, Colin." I sighed. I slowly made my way into my house, sniffing in the smell of old books that my house always had. It wasn't comforting like it usually was. Ron's sudden reappearance in my life had really messed me up, I concluded.

Colin gave me a long, lingering kiss on the lips and I guilty felt the urge to wipe my mouth as he walked away. I held my head in my hands. What was I doing to myself? To Colin?

"Could you go home now, Colin? I need some time alone."

"Of course, Herms." He grinned at me, not sensing that anything was wrong. How could he not sense anything, there were obvious tear marks down my face. There was no chance they could be mistaken for rain drops.

"Don't call me that, please." I said, keeping up my polite appearance whilst in my head I was screaming at him to get of my house, out of my life.

"See you tomorrow my sweet cheeks." He grinned and bounded out of my house, happy and unaware.

I suddenly felt cold and I shivered violently, feeling goose bumps arise on my arms and neck. I needed a nice, warm bath. I ran upstairs and ran the hot water. I dreamed of another life where Ron wanted me as the water filled up the bathtub.

I undressed and lowered myself into the hot water. It felt nice. I sighed in response to its soothing effect. My thoughts turned to Ron, as they always did, but this time it was him doing what he was doing with Karina with me. The thought set a fire in the pit of my abdomen, and an ache appeared down below. I was surprised by my body's response, but I knew that this was how I felt about Ron.

I knew one way of getting rid of the growing ache, so I slowly ran my hands down my chest, until I reached one of my perky breasts. They were already erect with arousal, and my gentle caressing added fuel to the fire. I gasped as I felt a wave of heat around my vagina, and I began to almost throb. I led my hand down below into my mass of curls and used my thumb to circle my clit. The pleasure was almost immediate, and I imagined that my own hand was Ron's hand, and I felt a whole new wave of pleasure pass over me.

I slowly put one finger into myself, and began thrusting it in and out. I needed more, so I added two fingers, and eventually a third. I couldn't help but gasping, moaning and gripping the bathtub with pleasure as I felt the full effects overcome me. I imagined now that it was no longer Ron's hand, but his own penis pumping in and out of me. I quickened the pace and the image of Ron became so vivid, I almost lost my self and before long I pushed myself over the edge, and ended it with a very loud shout of Ron's name.

I washed myself quickly and got out of the bath. I had done it before about Ron, but never had it felt like that. My want, my need for Ron was apparent to me, I just had to hide it from everyone else. It was an easy task to do, I had done it since I was 13. I blushed as I recalled what had happened in the bathtub, and I felt embarrassed. I had a boyfriend. It was wrong of me, terribly wrong.

For the rest of the night I relaxed in front of the television, watching some mindless rubbish about chimps and I smiled of how I knew that no witches or wizards would ever be jealous of this contraption. They had broomsticks to keep themselves entertained. I only had a television because my parents had been insistent on it, and I supposed it was good for nights like this where I wanted to forget my sorrows.

"Hermione."

I jumped up, gripping my dressing gown to me as I did so. "Merlins beard! Ron! What are you doing here?"

"Don't move in with Colin." He said. He walked over towards me, and I desperately wanted to pull him in for a passionate kiss, or even just a hug would do. I just wanted to touch him.

"Pardon?" I said, frowning my way through the battle that was going on in my head.

"Don't move in with him. I don't think he's right for you." Ron started pacing up and down. I remembered what I had seen him do a few hours before, and jealousy bubbled up inside of me again. I tried to keep it under control this time, unlike how I made a fool of myself outside his appartment. "I mean I know you love him, 'Mione. But really, he is completely wrong for you. I understand th-"

"I don't love him."

Ron stared at me. "What did you just say?"

"I don't love him, Ron." I repeated it, and Ron suddenly smiled. I didn't let myself be fooled. A smile meant nothing.

"Why are you moving in with him, then?" He asked. He crossed over towards me and sat down on my sofa. I sat beside him, feeling very aware that I was in only my dressing gown.

"I'm not. He's under the impression that I will be, but I won't." I sighed as I remembered the thought that crossed my mind before I left Ron's appartment. I thought I could make him suffer, make him pay. But really, what was he doing wrong? He was allowed to have sex with his girlfriend. I couldn't expect anything less. Yes, it would have been nice, more than nice, if he had waited to seduce her until after I had left, but he was a man, and I had always been taught that men were only in it for one thing.

"That makes me, very, very happy." Ron said, a lopsided grin appearing on his face. My heart burst with love for him, but I tried to keep a steady look on my face. It hurt to know that my feelings were only one-sided. "You look nice, 'Mione" Ron gave me a once over.

I gripped the dressing gown to myself again. "Thank you, well, I think you should be leaving now if that is all you wanted."

Ron looked at me for a minute or two. "I don't love Karina either, you know."

My heart felt like it stopped for a minute or two, and I answered a beat later than necessary. "That's good to know. Now, if you'd leave, I don't have anything underneath this dressing gown and it's making me uncomfortable talking to you like this."

I laughed in my head, uncomfortable, I think turned on was more the word I was after.

Ron stared and stared. "Leave Ron, please." I said again. Ron looked slightly in shock. "Ron?"

"Okay. I'm going. Er, bye, 'Mione." He apparated out with a last look at me, it felt like it burned into me. I wished to know what was going on in his mind. I laughed out loud at the thought that Ron didn't love Karina. Maybe there was hope for me yet. I wouldn't hold my breath though. I shook my head as if to get rid of any thoughts still lingering in my mind. I had a boyfriend. I had a boyfriend.