PERSONA NON GRATA

Kathryn materialized at the end of the sidewalk at her mother's Indiana home and could not believe she was finally there after seven years in the Delta Quadrant and what seemed like an eternity sequestered on DS9 for brutal debriefings. She had been permitted brief conversations with her mother, however she knew they were monitored, so they were only able to discuss the most general and mundane of things. Kathryn had been delayed and tried to send her mother messages from San Francisco to let her know when she would be arriving, but she hadn't received any replies, so she wasn't certain her mother had received them. Being so close to Christmas, the comm system was overloaded with holiday messages going back and forth. To compound matters, The Ligonian Ambassador and his delegation chose to leave at the same time Kathryn arrived at the transport station, so she had to wait her turn as various Starfleet and Federation officials and Ligonian diplomats said their lengthy formal goodbyes and there was no opportunity to let her mother know of the further delay. Indeed, Kathryn had spent the better part of the afternoon and early evening in a corner, hidden behind a large Christmas tree, as she didn't want the reporters present covering the diplomatic conference to know she was there and cash in on it. She had just done three days of press conferences at Starfleet's behest and that was more than enough.

As Kathryn materialized and stood at the end of the sidewalk, she looked at the old farmhouse, a house that had nurtured several generations of Janeways before it sent them out into the world. The house stood majestically, cloaked in a mantle of snow and adorned with festive Christmas decorations, as warm golden light spilled out from the windows onto the snow. She felt an odd sense that this was somehow an illusion or a dream and, if she were to take a step, it would all dissolve into the darkness. She found herself shaking slightly, but steadied herself as she realized she was standing in the snow, didn't have a coat on and was just shivering. Kathryn drew in a sobering breath of cold crisp Indiana winter air, walked the twenty or so paces to the door and reached for the chime. Before she could press it, the old fashioned wooden door opened and her mother pulled her into the house and hugged her so hard Kathryn looked up to make sure it was really her mother.

"Katie, Katie, Katie, you're really home, it's really you!"

"Yes, Momma, it's really me and I'm home!"

When she was finally able to let go of Kathryn, Gretchen held her daughter at arm's length as she smoothed down her windblown hair, brushed off the snowflakes and scrutinized her again to be sure it was really her. Kathryn looked up, saw her sister and her grandmother standing behind her mother in the hall and left her mother's arms to run to them as they engulfed and hugged her.

Gretchen looked out into the snow at the aide standing there on the front step with Kathryn's baggage. Apparently the poor man also hadn't thought to get a coat before transporting out into a snowy night. He looked as if he was just going to stand there until someone told him to do otherwise, so Gretchen finally said, "Young man, bring Captain Janeway's bags in and put them down over there, please."

Kathryn's sister and grandmother hugged her and cried as they hurried her into the living room, where a crowd of family members was waiting for her. Kathryn was fighting back the tears and trying to say hello and hug everyone as her mother entered the room. "Katie, that aide of yours was not only stupid enough not to wear a coat, he was also the most impolite and insubordinate little snot I have ever met. After he put your bags down he had the audacity to hold out his hand for a gratuity, can you believe that? Let me know his name so I can report him to Owen in the morning."

Kathryn jumped up and put her hand to her mouth. "My aide! What? Mother, what… what did you do with him, where is he?"

Gretchen crossed her arms over her chest and smiled. "I gave him a piece of my mind and sent him packing back to Starfleet, that's what!"

"Mother!" Kathryn screeched as she ran from the room, went to the front door, opened it and dragged what was now a Starfleet snowman into the room. "Mother, everyone, this isn't my aide, this is my friend Chakotay, my first officer on Voyager!" Kathryn smiled at Chakotay apologetically as she tried to brush the snow off his uniform. He was too cold to smile back.

Gretchen eyed him suspiciously before her eyes narrowed and her chin tipped up. "Then, why did he hold out his hand for a tip?"

Not being used to a cold climate, Chakotay's teeth were chattering so hard he could barely speak. "I wwwwasn't asking for a gratuity, Mmmma'am, I was hhhholding out my hand to sssshake hands with you and introduce myself, that's all, bbbbut you ddddidn't give me a ch cch… chance to."

Kathryn ushered Chakotay to a seat near the fire and brushed the snow out of his hair as her family looked on in confusion. "Didn't you get my message, Mom, that I was bringing Chakotay home with me? Phoebe, can you please get him something warm to drink, a cup of herbal tea?"

Gretchen was both annoyed and confused. "No, Katie, the last message I got from you said you were delayed and would let me know when you'd be here as soon as you knew. I never knew you wouldn't be alone, you didn't mention anything about Chuh… uh, what's his name?"

Kathryn went to stand behind Chakotay and put her hands on his shoulders as she smiled warmly. "Chakotay, Mom. Everyone, this is my friend Chakotay, he was my first officer on Voyager. I'm sorry, Mother, I did tell you, but Starfleet's been having problems with the comm system and you might not have received the message. If that's the case, I'm sorry. I invited Chakotay home with me to spend the holidays with us, but I didn't know he'd be able to come until this afternoon; they had him scheduled for some press conferences that weren't canceled until then."

Gretchen rose and became very pale as she motioned Kathryn towards her and quietly said, "Katie, may I see you in the kitchen, please?"

Kathryn nodded her agreement as she handed Chakotay a plate of cookies from the coffee table. "Chakotay, please introduce yourself around and get warmed up and I'll be right back. If you need anything, just ask, and make yourself at home."

As Kathryn walked into the kitchen, Gretchen grabbed her by the wrist and pushed her into a chair. "Kathryn, for heaven's sake, it's Christmas! What are you doing bringing some strange man into our home at Christmas? Here, let me get you some coffee to warm you up, I'm sure you probably haven't had a decent cup for seven years. Katie, what did you bring him home for, can't he spend Christmas with his family?"

Kathryn took several sips of her coffee before she could bring herself to sit her mug down. "Oh, Mom, you don't know how I missed this! Mom, I told you, I did send you a message, but they had some sort of overload with the comm system in San Francisco due to the holidays and that diplomatic conference and a lot of messages seem to be queued and delayed, but I assure you I told you and I didn't think you'd mind. I didn't know until this afternoon, he didn't get his official leave until then. Mother, he doesn't have any family he's been able to find, the Cardassians killed them all and left his home planet in ruins and he didn't really have anywhere to go. His sister may be alive, but so far he hasn't been able to find her. He's not 'some man', he's a Starfleet officer and he's my best friend and, if it weren't for him, I wouldn't be here right now."

Gretchen thought for a moment then her face went ashen. "Chakotay! Katie, isn't he that damned Maquis criminal you were sent out there to capture? Gods, Kathryn, why the hell did you bring him here, shouldn't he be in the brig? He's the reason you had to spend seven years out there!"

"He's not a criminal, Mother!" Kathryn shouted before she caught herself. "I'm sorry, forgive me, I didn't mean to shout. I've had a bad day and I'm really tired, that's all. Chakotay was cleared and he's a Starfleet officer, the same as me, the same as Daddy. Mom, I told you that, if it weren't for him, I wouldn't be here now. He had nothing to do with why we got stranded in the Delta Quadrant, you know that as well as I do; I know Owen told you exactly what happened. Momma, Chakotay is the kindest, most intelligent, compassionate and honest man I have ever met and, once you get to know him, I'm sure you'll agree. You always said our house was open to anyone in need and he is, he has no family to spend the holidays with."

Gretchen sat her mug down loudly. "Fine, but just where do you expect me to put him? Your sister and her family and your grandmother and your aunt and uncle and all the cousins are staying here and we don't have any room, Katie. Can't you find someplace else where he can stay or send him back to San Francisco or wherever it is he came from? There's no room for that man here, Kathryn."

Kathryn took another sip of coffee. "Fine, Mother, then he can stay in my room with me."

Gretchen got up, shoved her chair aside and turned her back to her daughter. "Oh gods, Kathryn, don't tell me you're sleeping with him!"

Kathryn stood and moved to face her. "No, Mother, I'm not, but he's my best friend and has been for the last seven years and I'm perfectly comfortable sharing my room with him. We're not sleeping together, we never have, and our relationship is strictly platonic, but you should know that I do love him, Mother, and I want him to spend Christmas here with me, with us."

Gretchen sat back down with another huff. "Well, fine, but he's not sleeping in your room, Kathryn, and that's that. For heaven's sake, Katie, your grandmother is here! If you insist on him staying here, then at least send him to a hotel in town or have him sleep in the barn or something."

"Mother! It's freezing, he is not sleeping in the barn. It's two days before Christmas and there's a snowstorm, you know as well as I do you probably can't get a hotel room anywhere in Indiana. Anyhow, even if you could, I want him to stay here; he's never experienced an old fashioned family Christmas. There's nothing wrong with me sharing my room with him. I told you, we're not having sex, and anyhow, you never had any problems when Mark spent the night with me."

"That's because I knew Mark and liked him and he wasn't some stranger that you dragged home from some alien planet and, if you hadn't dragged your feet so much, Mark would have been your husband. Gods, Kathryn, isn't Chakotay the man you got marooned on some planet with for months? I can only imagine what he must have done to you, you poor dear, he must have brainwashed you or coerced you or something. I want him out of this house right now!"

"Mother! Yes it was him and he didn't hurt me, he's never done anything to me. You want to know what he did on that planet? Well, I'll tell you, he took care of me and cooked and made sure I ate and rested and he yelled at me when I didn't and for drinking too much coffee and doing dangerous things and he made our shelter more like a home and kept it clean and straight. You want to know what we did at night? We sat at the table, drank tea, talked and sometimes he told me stories, Mother, wonderful stories, and then we slept in separate rooms. Chakotay has never done anything to me, so just put your sordid imagination away right now." Kathryn got up from the table, stood behind her mother and put her arms around her shoulders. "Momma, he has never been anything but a friend to me and I care for him and I love him. As I said, we're just friends and I don't know if that will change or not, but he makes me happy and I want the chance to get to know him better now that we're no longer in a command structure and I'm sure, if you'd give him a chance, you'll like him too."

"Fine, but just get him out of this house; that man is NOT spending the night in your room, Kathryn Janeway!"

Kathryn threw her hands up. "OK, Mom, what do you expect me to do, build him an igloo in the back yard?"

"Kathryn, watch your tone and lower your voice. I don't care what you do, just get him out of here."

"Fine, Mom. This is your house and I'll abide by your wishes, but know that, if he leaves, so do I. We'll beam back to San Francisco and see if we can get temporary quarters or something, but I am not throwing Chakotay out, especially right before Christmas."

"You'll do no such thing!" Gretchen thought and rubbed her head before she spoke again. "All right, Kathryn, he can stay, but if that bastard so much as touches you, I'll show him you're not the only one in the family who knows how to use a rifle, and he had better not touch any of my things. I saw him eyeing your father's antique clock on the mantle; he probably knows how valuable it is."

"Mom, he was probably only looking at it because he likes antiques. I told him the story about that old clock probably a drozen times and that I knew it would still be ticking away on the mantle when I got home. You don't have to worry about him, he's honest and polite and good with kids; I bet the kids will love him." Kathryn giggled as she gave her mother a hug and tried to smooth things over. "C'mon, Mom, he's even housetrained and that's more than you can say for the last stray dog I brought home! Thank you for letting him stay here, he won't be any trouble and, if you just give him a chance, I bet you'll really like him. Mom, I'm starved, is there anything to eat?"

"What kind of question is that? Here, I made up a plate and saved it for you because I didn't know when you'd be here; I'll warm it up. I made all your favorites, so I hope you're hungry. Why don't you eat it in the living room so you can visit with everyone? There's plenty more, so help yourself."

"Thanks, I'll just fix a plate for Chakotay and heat it up, the poor dear hasn't had anything to eat since breakfast and I know he's starving too. He's a good eater and a good cook, Mom, you'll love him."

Gretchen grabbed the plate from Kathryn's hands before she had the chance to put any food on it. "Katie, don't use the good china, not for him. Use one of the plates I use for the grandkids, in case he breaks it. Here, this'll be good enough. Showing up uninvited and expecting to be fed, how rude is that?"

Kathryn rolled her eyes, "Mom! The reason you didn't know he was coming is because of me, not him, you know that, and I did invite him. I'm sorry I invited someone without asking your permission, but I never needed your permission to bring a friend home before; you always said this house was open to all family and friends and he's my friend. There's plenty of food here and he's very helpful and polite, so I'm sure he'll more than make up for what he eats by helping out and doing chores. He's a part of my life, Mom, I think you need to accept that." Kathryn added as she left the room with her dinner and a plate for Chakotay on a tray.

Gretchen threw their coffee mugs into the sink so hard she broke them. "We'll see about that, Kathryn Janeway!"

A few hours later Chakotay came out from the bathroom, put his things away, removed his robe, draped it over a chair next to Kathryn's and carefully sat on the edge of the bed. "Kathryn, are you sure you're OK with this, sharing your bed I mean?"

"Of course, and again please let me apologize for my family's rude conduct, but I'm sure everything will be OK. They just weren't expecting you and that's my fault. Please don't worry, I'm sure everything will work out, you know how people get stressed out around the holidays and the last couple of weeks of me home but not being able to see them was probably just as stressful for them as it was for me. I'm sorry about all that time I spent in the kitchen with Mother. What did you and everyone else talk about while we were in there?"

"Nothing."

Kathryn pulled back the covers for him. "Don't give me that, what did you talk about, what did they ask you? C'mon and get in bed, I'm fine with it, really; I don't bite. Chakotay, I feel safer next to you than anyone else, I swear. Now, I'll ask you again, what did you all talk about?"

"Nothing, Kathryn, nothing," Chakotay replied as he got into bed and pulled up the covers. "Your sister brought me some tea and she told me everyone's name and I said hello and then they just sat there and talked like I wasn't there and stared at me until you came back in. Well, your grandmother did smile at me, I think. Kathryn, maybe it would be better if I left, went back to San Francisco or something?"

She plumped up her pillow and rolled over on her elbow to face him. "Chakotay, if you want to leave, I certainly wouldn't blame you, but I'd much rather you stayed; I've hardly even seen you since we got back and I was really looking forward to spending time and Christmas with you. They just weren't expecting you, that's all, and I'm sure, once they get to know you, they'll like you."

He rolled over to face her. "All right, I'll stay as long as you don't think it'll make trouble. To be honest, after all you've told me about old fashioned Janeway Christmases, I was really looking forward to this and spending time with you too. Kathryn, you and your mother were in the kitchen a long time. If I may ask, what did the two of you talk about? Was it about me?"

She reached down and picked lint off the blanket. "Yes, most of it was. She was just surprised I brought you home and it bothers her you were in the Maquis and I think she thought our relationship was different than it is, but don't worry about it. Just be yourself and I'm sure my family will come around."

Chakotay took her hand to stop her from picking lint. "Keep that up and the blanket will be bald. OK, I'll stay and do my best to be charming, but I have my doubts. Kathryn, I'm sure your mother thinks I'm going to try to hurt you and steal things. Before I went upstairs she told me, if I touched any of her stuff, she'd make me sorry and, if I touched you, she'd kill me." His face finally relaxed into a little grin. "My dinner plate was plastic and had Trevis on it, do you think she'll let me eat my breakfast from a big boy plate?"

Kathryn laughed as she gave him a pat on the shoulder and turned out the light. "I wouldn't get your hopes up, Chakotay, but you may have to fight my nephew for that Trevis plate, apparently it's his favorite. Admiral Paris thinks the world of you and Mother respects his opinion, so maybe if he talks to her, it'll help. Please don't take her threats seriously, she's just stressed out with a house full of people and upset with me and how long it took me to get away from Starfleet, that's all it is. She and Nana Janeway don't get along, so that makes it even worse, I'm sure. I told her, I feel perfectly safe with you and that's the truth, so let's get some sleep before she thinks we were up all night doing what I tried to tell her we're not doing, OK?" Kathryn rolled onto her back and settled in. "Goodnight, Chakotay, and welcome home, even if it isn't exactly home sweet home."

He did the same. "Goodnight, Kathryn, and, as long as you're here with me, it is home sweet home."

Gretchen and Phoebe got up early the next morning to make Christmas Eve breakfast for everyone and talked as they worked in the kitchen. Gretchen handed Phoebe a bowl of muffin batter. "Here, you finish these up and I'll get started on the biscuits and sausage gravy. Well, what do you think of that… man Katie brought home?"

"I don't like him, Mom, he's one of those damn Maquis and we both know the only reason Starfleet let them off the hook was for PR because they supposedly helped get the ship back. Humph, of course they did, they needed Katie's ship to get back! He probably only sucked up to her to get his sorry ass home, that's all, and Katie will come to her senses and realize that and get rid of him when she figures out he was just using her."

"Gods, I hope so, but she told me she loves him, Phoebe."

"NO!"

"Yes, she sat right there at that table and told me so, that's he's her best friend and she loves him. Well, she said it was platonic, but they're up there in her room together right now, so I'm sure he's had his way with her by now, that filthy Maquis."

Phoebe put the first batch of muffins in the oven and started filling the cups for the second. "I don't think so, the walls are thin and I can hear what goes on in her room and they talked quietly for a few minutes and then I think they went to sleep because I didn't hear any more noise. I opened the door and peeked in her room this morning and they're both wearing pajamas and on opposite sides of the bed, so I don't think anything happened."

"Well, thank goodness for that! What are we going to do, Phoebe? When I found out Voyager got back I started lining up good eligible men for Katie. In fact, I talked with Adele Johnson the other day and Mark is home for Christmas and his wife went back to wherever she's from with their son for the holidays and I get the impression things aren't good in that marriage, so I was hoping maybe he and Katie could get back together. Mark Johnson is the type of man Katie belongs with, not that Maquis trash. Do you think I should make more biscuits?"

"Yes, Mom, better to have extra than to run out. Well, we'll just have to make sure Katie and Mark or somebody like him gets together, that's all. I'm sure you're right and Chakotay will be long gone in a few days. Nobody liked him, well, nobody but Nana."

Gretchen laughed as she slipped a tray of biscuits into the oven. "Of course Nana liked him, she's over a hundred years old and keeps asking me why I have a tree growing in the living room and who are all the people on the front lawn! The woman can't tell snowmen from real people, how the hell could you expect her to know that Chakotay is just a charlatan who's leading poor Katie on? Don't worry, Katie is smart, she'll figure it out soon enough. She didn't even sleep with Mark until after they were engaged and, anyhow, you know how Katie is, she's such a prude, he'll probably leave once he finds out he isn't getting any from her!

"Getting any what, Mother?" Kathryn asked as she walked into the kitchen, poured herself a cup of coffee and took a seat at the table.

"Oh… uh nothing, Dear," Gretchen replied as she gave Kathryn a hug and a kiss. "What are you doing up so early and where is… that man?"

"Chakotay, Mom, you know his name. He's still asleep, he was so tired, I doubt he'll be up for a while yet. I woke up early and smelled the coffee and that was reason enough to get up. Well, it's Christmas Eve, what are we doing today?"

Gretchen gave Kathryn a fresh baked muffin on a plate, looked down and put her hand on Kathryn's abdomen. "My gods, Kathryn, look at your belly, are you pregnant?"

Kathryn pushed her hand away. "No, Mom, of course not! I gained a little weight while I was gone, that's all. Gosh, you were always telling me I was too thin, I thought it would make you happy? I didn't have the time on Voyager to work out like I did before and I'm seven years older, that's all it is, I'm not pregnant. Mom, I told you, Chakotay and I aren't having sex. Why won't you believe me?"

Gretchen left the rest of the biscuits to Phoebe and took a seat at the table. "Of course, Katie, if you say so."

"I do say so, Mom! Look, I'm sorry if you don't like him even though you don't even know him, but I do like him, I love him, and I hope he'll be a part of my life. He was my first officer and I always insisted that we maintain the distance that protocol dictates and he respected that and he did, but we also grew very close. I don't know what the future holds for us, but I want the chance to find out, and I hope that Chakotay and I can spend a lot of time together, start dating and see if our friendship can grow into something more. He's special, Mom, and I really think you'd see that too if you give him a chance. He makes me happy, can't you see that? Don't you want me to be happy?"

"Of course I want you to be happy, Katie, but I also want you to realize that he isn't the only man that can make you happy. You can do better, Katie, so much better and, if you tie yourself to that Maquis, it'll ruin your career! You're still pretty and you're intelligent and practically a celebrity now, so there are a lot of men, good men, that will be interested in you."

Kathryn took another sip of coffee and gently placed her cup on the table. "That may well be, Momma, but Chakotay is the man who has been at my side and taken care of me for the last seven years and he's the man that makes me happy. I don't know what the future holds for me, for us, but I do know that I want to spend time with Chakotay and we want to start dating and see where it goes. Is that so hard for you to accept?"

"Yes, Kathryn, it is. I can see that seven years in the Delta Quadrant changed you, but I also know that you're smart enough to know when someone is just using you and you won't stand for it."

"Using me? Using me for what? Mom, if he were just using me to get home, well, we're home now, so why would he still be here? If he were just using me for sex, well, there isn't any and I've made it clear to him I want to date first and there won't be any until we know each other a lot better, so that's not it either. Before you get started, we didn't do anything last night, we just went to sleep."

"I know that, Kathryn, and I know your choices have been limited in the last seven years, but you're home now and they're not. Why don't you have an open mind and see what's out there for you before you settle for some Maquis consolation prize?"

Kathryn got up from the table and shoved her chair back so hard it went halfway across the room. "Fine, Mom, if that's the way you feel, I don't suppose I can do anything about it, but I think you're being awfully prejudiced and short sighted and I would have thought better of you. If you want Chakotay and I to leave, we will!"

Gretchen got up, replaced Kathryn's chair and tried to get her to sit back down. "Kathryn, for heaven's sake, it's Christmas Eve, don't ruin it! I'm glad you're home and all I want is for you to be happy and I certainly don't want you to leave. Please, sit back down and be reasonable, Katie." Kathryn reluctantly sat back down in her chair and knotted her hands on the table. "All right, Katie, if you insist that Chakotay stays too, so be it, but I hope you will at least consider the possibility that he may not be the right man for you. Katie, Mark is back home for Christmas and his wife and son didn't come with him and I think their marriage is falling apart, so won't you at least go see him and see if that's the case and maybe the two of you can get back together? Please, Katie, please?"

"Yes, Mom, I'll go see him, I want to see Mark, but only because he's an old friend, not because I have any romantic interest in him anymore. He moved on and so have I. Mother, I'm not in love with Mark anymore, I moved on after I found out that he got married. I've tried to explain it, Chakotay and I only became closer after I knew that Mark had moved on, he always respected what I had with Mark and never ever pressured me. In fact, he's never pressured me, Mom, not even last night when we were finally free to do whatever we wanted."

Phoebe joined them at the table. "Katie, I'm you sister, you know I love you and you can trust me, but this Chakotay is just a Maquis opportunist, he's only taking advantage of you."

Kathryn had had about enough. "Cut the crap, Phoebs, have you ever known me to let anyone take advantage of me? Give me a little credit, I'm smarter than that! It's been seven years, do you honestly think Chakotay would still be around if he were only interested in me for sex?" Kathryn giggled, "I'm getting pretty close to fifty, it's not like I'm such a hot prize anyhow! There were lots of prettier younger women on Voyager that would have been happy to have him, but he waited for me and understood when I told him that I couldn't be more than friends with him. Last night was the first night we spent in the same bed, in the same room even, and we took separate showers, got into bed, talked for a few minutes and then went to sleep… end of story. He didn't so much as touch me or even ask if he could, he just told me that, despite the way everyone treated him last night, he was just happy that we were together. Now, I ask you, if that isn't respect and love, then just what is it?"

Phoebe got up from the table and went back to preparing breakfast. "It's just some guy who knows he has to wait a few days to milk the cow, Katie, that's all it is."

Kathryn got up from the table, started for the door, but turned back to her sister. "That's crass, damn you, Phoebe! Why can't you just be happy for me and realize that maybe that man up there actually loves me? Me, not as tall and young and pretty as you imperfect little me!" Gretchen rose to speak, but Kathryn shook her finger at her and silenced her. "Don't you start in on me either! I'm going back upstairs and I'm going to have a good cry and see if I can pull myself together enough to salvage a merry Christmas out of this mess. Don't worry, Chakotay and I will be gone day after tomorrow, as soon as we can find a place to stay. All I wanted was for him to have an old fashioned loving family Christmas like he's never had, but I can see that I brought him to the wrong house for that!"

Gretchen went after Kathryn, but Phoebe grabbed her mother's arm to stop her. "Sit down, Mom, and have some coffee. Just let her go, you know there's no reasoning with her when she's like that, Katie is too hard headed for her own good and she's too tired and stressed out to be rational right now and that man has probably been messing with her head. She's also right, it's Christmas and we shouldn't ruin it for everyone, especially the kids. OK, I'm going to start the oatmeal and go set the table. Don't worry, Mom, everything will work out."

A little more than half an hour later Chakotay walked into the Janeways' large bright kitchen and smiled warmly. "Good morning, Mrs. Janeway, may I help you with breakfast?"

Gretchen looked up from her pans on the stove. "No. Is Katie up yet? Where is she? If you want some coffee, you'll have to get it yourself, I'm not here to wait on you, you know."

Chakotay topped off Gretchen's coffee mug sitting on the counter and poured himself a cup. "Thank you, Ma'am, I don't expect to be waited on and I'd be glad to help out. Believe it or not, I'm pretty handy in the kitchen. I'm not sure where Kathryn is, she was gone when I woke up. I checked in the living room first and they said they hadn't seen her this morning and thought she must be in here."

"As you can see, she's not. She got up a while ago and was upset and said she was going back upstairs, so that's where I thought she was. She probably just took a walk or something, that's all; she does that when she's upset. If you knew her, you'd know that."

"I do know that, Mrs. Janeway, but I don't think she took a walk, Ma'am. Her pajamas and robe aren't in her room and her shower hasn't been used, so I don't think she got dressed yet."

Gretchen was suspicious. "My, but you're very observant… or were you just going through Katie's things?"

Chakotay chuckled, "No, Ma'am, of course not. I wasn't sure if your family dressed for breakfast or not, so I checked to see if Kathryn had, so that's how I know she didn't. Please, Mrs. Janeway, won't you let me help you with breakfast?"

Gretchen put the pan of eggs she was cooking aside. "I suppose that makes sense, I'll go look around the house for her, she has to be here somewhere. Sit at the table, wait here and don't touch anything." Chakotay sat as instructed and drank his coffee. In a few minutes Gretchen returned to the kitchen scratching her head. "I've looked everywhere and I can't find Katie, nobody's seen her, and Eddie even checked the cellar and the attic. This doesn't make sense, she wouldn't go outside in the snow in her nightclothes!"

Chakotay followed Gretchen as she called for Kathryn and searched. "No, she wouldn't. Mrs. Janeway, there's tracks in the snow leading away from the back porch, has anyone been outside this morning, for firewood or to any of the outbuildings or anything?"

She went and looked. "No, someone will have to go out and clear the snow first, nobody's been outside yet, but you're right and there are tracks. Let me get my coat and my boots on and…"

Chakotay cut Gretchen off as he pushed in front of her and ran out into the snow in his bathrobe. "No, it's too cold, stay here, I'll go look for her!" He followed the tracks to the barn and then followed the trail of little puddles from melted snow on the barn floor that led past several horses in their stalls and ended at a stack of hay bales in the back corner. Kathryn lay among them, asleep, curled up in a horse blanket. He gently scooped her up and started carrying her back. "Kathryn, come on, you must be freezing, everyone was looking for you, they're all worried."

She awoke gently and started to shiver slightly. "Chakotay, I'm fine, I just needed to get away and have a little time to myself to think. I'm sorry. Gods, you're out here in your bathrobe, are you crazy?"

He held her tighter, looked down and smiled, "I could ask you the same question, Kathryn."

She retuned his smile, "I suppose you could. Mom and Phoebe and I had an argument and I just needed to get away and have a good cry, I was so upset it didn't occur to me I wasn't dressed and I was already in the barn before I realized it. I was cold so I grabbed a blanket and curled up to get warm and I guess I fell asleep. I didn't mean to worry anyone and I certainly didn't mean for you to come out in your nightclothes to look for me."

"It's not a problem, Kathryn, but how about you come talk to me or lock yourself in the bathroom, scream and yell, throw stuff or something next time you get upset?" She nodded and wrapped her arms around his neck.

As Chakotay came up the path to the back door with Kathryn, her mother was standing on the back porch to meet them. Once they were inside, Chakotay put Kathryn down on her feet as her mother grabbed her. "Katie, why the hell did you do that, what's wrong with you?"

"Nothing, Mom, I was upset and needed to get away. I'm sorry if I worried everyone and I'm sorry that you had to go outside in your nightclothes to look for me, Chakotay. Here, take the blanket, you're probably colder than I am. Just let me go upstairs and get myself together and I'll be down for breakfast in a few minutes." Gretchen started off after her, but Kathryn turned and stopped her, "No, Mom, stay here, I don't want you to come with me, just Chakotay. We'll be down in a few minutes, go ahead and call everyone in for breakfast. Go on, I'm sorry, let's just forget this and start over, OK?"

As soon as Kathryn's feet hit the stairs, Gretchen set off after her again, but Chakotay gently held her arm to stop her. "Please, Mrs. Janeway, I'll go and see to Kathryn."

She put her hands on her hips and stared up at him. "You'll do no such thing! That's my daughter, I'll take care of her!"

Chakotay did the same and stared down at her. "Ma'am, with all due respect, the reason why she ran out into the snow in her bathrobe in the first place was because you and her sister upset her. Kathryn has been through a lot in the last seven years and especially in the days since we got back and it's been hard on her. I don't know all the details of her debriefings as she isn't allowed to discuss them, but I know they were brutal. She's strong, incredibly strong, but even Kathryn has her breaking point. I'll go upstairs and take care of her and we'll be down for breakfast in a few minutes. Mrs. Janeway, you don't even know me so I really don't know why you don't like me, but you should know that I love your daughter, I would never hurt her and, as long as she wants me to, I'll take care of her."

Gretchen slapped him hard across the face. "You bastard, how dare you talk to me that way! I want you out of this house right now!"

"Yes, Ma'am, of course I'll leave, but can't I please wait until the day after tomorrow? Kathryn loves Christmas and she's been going on about spending Christmas at home for the last seven years, so can we please call a truce, not mention this to her, and not ruin her Christmas? Please?"

"Well all right!" Gretchen huffed. "It seems you have her brainwashed or something and she'd probably be fool enough to leave with you right now, but I'm sure she'll come to her senses by the twenty sixth. Let me make myself clear, I want you out day after tomorrow and I assure you Kathryn will not be going with you!"

It was obvious Gretchen had more on her mind, but Chakotay left her before she could go on, went up the stairs and found Kathryn in bed. He rushed to her, but she threw back the covers and waved him off. "I'm fine, I just jumped in to get warmed up. Put some dry socks on, put your slippers by the heat to dry and let's go down to breakfast."

"OK, but let me see your hands and feet, you didn't get any frostbite, did you?"

She showed him her hands and feet, "No, not at all, I was only outside long enough to run to the barn. The barn is heated enough so it stays above freezing inside and I wrapped up in the blanket right away; I'm fine, really. Only problem is it seems I left with two slippers and came back with only one, so can you dig around my blue duffel bag and find me a pair of socks, please?"

"Sure and, after I get dressed, I'll go look for your other slipper. Come on, let's go eat. I think I've already pissed off your mother enough, I don't want to add to it by being late to the table."

"OK, but first let me give you a hug." Kathryn wrapped her arms around Chakotay and held him as she continued. "Chakotay, I know my family has been rude to you and I'm very ashamed and I'm so sorry. If you want to leave, we can leave right after breakfast and I'm sure Nana wouldn't mind if we stayed at her apartment in town until we can figure something else out. Oh, and thanks for going out in the snow and looking for me."

"Always, Kathryn. C'mon, let's go eat!"

Christmas Eve breakfast was wonderful and it seemed that Kathryn and her mother and sister had put aside their earlier differences for the sake of the rest of the family. The mood was joyful and the conversation animated, except that Kathryn was the only one talking to Chakotay, save for an occasional few words from Nana Janeway. Apparently Nana had a hard time remembering that she wasn't supposed to like Chakotay. All of the children except one were young enough to still believe in Santa and shared their enthusiasm with the entire table.

After breakfast everyone dressed and launched their Christmas Eve activities. Gretchen and her sister chased everyone from the kitchen, cleaned up from breakfast and started making preparations for lunch and dinner while Phoebe and her husband took all the kids down to the big pond in the lower pasture to sled and ice skate. Kathryn's uncle fell asleep watching sports and her grandmother took advantage of all the children being out of the house for a couple hours and wrapped the rest of the presents that Santa would bring.

Kathryn took Chakotay to the attic and rummaged around to find him some proper warm winter clothes and boots to wear as he didn't have any of his own. She also found her own winter outerwear that she had stored at her mother's to use when she was home for winter visits. They were horribly mismatched and not very fashionable, but they went outside, satisfied that they would at least be warm.

Chakotay grabbed a snow shovel and asked, "Is this what your mother uses to clear the snow? It's a long path to the garage, how does she manage?"

"Well, the man that takes care of the livestock usually does it for her and he has a snow transporter, but he probably hasn't had a chance to do it yet. There's another shovel by the back door, I'll go get it and I'll help you; ancient technology works fine to clear snow, it just takes longer. With both of us working, it won't take long at all and we're supposed to get more snow tonight."

Kathryn and Chakotay started shoveling snow the old fashioned way as they continued their conversation. "What about the fire, Kathryn? Your uncle said he was going to light the fire, but I don't see any smoke coming from the chimney, so I don't think he has yet. When I get done I'll carry more fire wood up on the back porch and fill up the wood box."

Kathryn laughed, "Chakotay, you saw Uncle Charles, as long as there is anything on that involves people playing with a ball of some sort, he won't get anything accomplished, so we might as well do it ourselves. You do know how to start a fire, don't you?"

"Very funny, Kathryn," Chakotay replied as he tossed a shovel of snow at her. That was his first mistake. She threw down her shovel, made a snowball and caught him right in the face with it before he knew what happened. He tried to retaliate, but Kathryn had considerably more experience making snowballs and that, combined with her deadly aim, made her far more dangerous than she was on the bridge of a starship armed with a full compliment of photon torpedoes. Chakotay tried to fight back, but he didn't know that you had to take your gloves off and dig down to the older snow to make really hard snowballs and most of his efforts exploded in his face as he tried to force the newer powdery snow into projectiles. Kathryn kept pelting him and, when he knelt down to get a fresh load of snow, she took advantage of his tactical error, grabbed a huge chunk of snow, jumped on his back and crashed it over his head.

Unfortunately that was her mistake as she slipped before she could retreat, landing flat on her back and at his mercy. Chakotay put one hand on her chest to hold her down and threatened with a huge chunk of snow in the other as he said, "Surrender?"

"Never!" she shouted as she laughed and struggled against him.

He brought the chunk of snow closer to her face and grinned at her. "How about now, do you surrender?"

Kathryn suddenly reached up and shoved the chunk of snow into Chakotay's face as she made her escape. "Kathryn Janeway does NOT surrender!" She had a good laugh and collapsed into the snow next to Chakotay and held out her hand. "I would be willing to make a peace treaty, though. Deal?"

"Deal!" he replied as he shook her hand. "I should have known better, you have a lot more experience fighting with snow than I do, I was over twenty before I ever even saw any."

Kathryn jumped to her feet and brushed the snow off her hat and coat. "I never thought about it, but I guess I do have a tactical advantage, don't I? Don't worry, I'll make sure you know more than you ever wanted to know about snow before we leave. Well, what do you say we finish clearing the walks and then have a snowman building competition? Phoebe and I always did that on Christmas Eve when there was enough snow, so it's tradition. Well, judging by all the snowmen in the front yard, they had the competition early this year."

Chakotay dusted himself off and resumed shoveling. "Well, I've never built a snowman either, so how about you show me how and we can work on one together?"

Kathryn stopped shoveling and giggled, "Really, you've never built a snowman?"

He stopped as well and leaned on the shovel. "No, Kathryn, I haven't. I grew up in a tropical climate, remember? I don't think any of my ancestors ever saw any snow either, we're warm weather people and, except for the Starfleet Academy cold weather survival training I had, this is probably the most time my gene pool has spent in the snow. Unfortunately, snowman building wasn't a required Starfleet course."

"Well, now it is, so let's hurry up and then we can move on to snow angels!"

Kathryn and Chakotay stepped back from their snowman and gave him a good look. Chakotay, being a traditional artist, had enjoyed using a natural element to create a work of art and was quite impressed with their finished snowman. "I like him, Kathryn, he's much more detailed than the other ones on the lawn and taller too. I think we're going to have to fix his ears, though, he almost looks Vulcan to me and what about giving him a face?"

Kathryn dug down through the snow to the ground and handed Chakotay a pile of smooth dark stones. "Here give him a mouth and eyes and I'll go get a carrot for his nose and see if I can find an old scarf or hat or something for him to wear. I agree, his ears don't look right, but leave them, I have an idea!" Chakotay was still working on inserting stones for the snowman's mouth when Kathryn returned with a bag of carrots and a tattered old plaid scarf. "That looks good, but give him a really really big smile."

He finished and Kathryn nodded her approval, so Chakotay stepped back and let her work her magic on the finishing touches to their snowman. She wrapped the bright plaid scarf around his neck and tore into the bag of carrots. When she was done she joined him and asked, "Well, what do you think?"

When Chakotay stopped laughing he finally managed to speak. "Kathryn, I don't believe it, it's a snow Neelix!"

"Yes, it is," she said as she adjusted one of the carrots that formed the snowman's spiky orange Mohawk hairdo. "And I bet he's the only Talaxian snowman in Indiana, only one on Earth in fact!" She held up the empty carrot bag. "I also bet you're really upset I used up all the carrots on him, aren't you?"

Chakotay looked up and smiled, "Thank you, Neelix!"

"OK time for snow angels! I bet you don't even know what one is, do you?" Kathryn shouted as she ran off a few meters from "Neelix".

Chakotay was certain he knew, so he started rolling another big ball of snow. "Well, I can imagine, so, how big do you want this, Kathryn? Kathryn, my gods, what's wrong, did you fall, are you having a seizure?"

She held up her arms, "No, silly, help me up. I was making a snow angel, see?"

Ah, I do see, it does look like an angel! Well, I imagine it's close to lunch time, so why don't you go in and get warmed up and I'll fill the wood box on the back porch and be right in to start a fire?"

"OK. Oh, make sure you leave your boots on the back porch and don't track any snow in, that makes Mom ballistic. I'll leave your shoes by the door."

He smiled, "Aye aye! Your mom already hates me, I don't need to give her another reason to."

Kathryn grabbed Chakotay's arm before he could walk away, pulled him to her and gave him another hug. "Chakotay, she doesn't hate you, she just doesn't know you, that's all. Her behavior has been way beyond rude and I apologize for it, but I think, between the stress of the holidays and Starfleet taking so long to let me come home, she's angry and just well… kind of overloaded right now. Mom is almost eighty and slowing down, only she's having a hard time coping with the fact that she can't do as much as she used to. I told you, if you want to leave, we will, I don't have any problem with that.

Chakotay, sit down here a minute, I want to explain some things to you. You know about the Maquis thing and she'll get over that. You get crap for having been a Maquis and I get crap because Starfleet didn't initially do much about the Cardassians and that led to a lot of people being killed and the Maquis forming in the first place.

There's another issue I haven't told you about and I will as it'll help you to understand. Mark Johnson, the man I was engaged to when I left, is also home for the holidays and his parents live just down the road. According to Mom, he and his wife aren't getting along or are separated or something and Mom thinks it would be the perfect opportunity for Mark and I to get back together. I would like to see him, but I let go of Mark a long time ago and I have no desire to try to rekindle things with him and certainly wouldn't even contemplate such a thing while he was still married anyhow. Mom thinks the world of Mark and his family and she thinks he's the only decent man I ever brought home and she has always wanted me to get married, have kids and settle down. Considering what happened to Voyager, she's even more adamant now that I settle down, get a desk job and stay on terra firma. Apparently she and my sister have also taken the liberty of lining up several other eligible bachelors as a back up plan. Well, I guess you can see where I'm going, they just assumed I'd come home and be thrilled to get back together with Mark or date one of their Mr. Rights and they never thought that maybe I would come home with my own Mr. Right. OK, so maybe I'm being presumptuous here, but they're just having a hard time dealing with the fact that I want to date you and I'm not interested in what they picked out for me. Do you understand?"

Chakotay snuggled up closer and put his arm around Kathryn. "Yes, thank you for telling me, that explains a lot. Look, Kathryn, if you want to go see Mark and talk to him and see how the two of you feel after all this time and maybe spend some time together, that would be fine and I'll give you your space and wait for you. I'll do what I can to appease your family, but all I really want is for you to be happy."

"Thank you, Chakotay. I do want to see Mark while he's here, not because he's my ex-fiancé, but because he's an old friend I've known most of my life and so are his parents. You can go with me if you want to, but be assured that I don't have any romantic interest in Mark." Kathryn smiled, took Chakotay's hand, pulled him to his feet and gave him another hug. "As for being happy, I think I have everything that I need right here."

After lunch everyone left to visit and drop off gifts at various friends and neighbor's houses, leaving Kathryn and Chakotay alone with Nana Janeway. Kathryn got Nana situated on a chair near the fire with a cup of tea and her knitting and joined Chakotay on the sofa. "Lunch wasn't too bad, was it? I think Mom only shot you the death glare two or three times. Since we have a couple hours to ourselves, what would you like to do this afternoon?"

"Gosh, Kathryn, I don't know, whatever you want to do. Building a snowman was fun, would you like to make another one or maybe go for a walk?"

She sipped her coffee and chuckled, "No, I had my walk early this morning, remember? I don't think we could outdo our snowman, so, I know, how about we go ice skating on the pond? My brother-in-law cleared all the snow off the ice and Phoebe said it's just like glass."

Chakotay played with his earlobe and grinned, "I dunno, Kathryn, I don't know how to ice skate, fact is I've never even really been on ice. Besides, I don't have any ice skates."

She stood and held out her hand. "Come on, I'll teach you and there's a whole bunch of ice skates hanging up on the back porch, so just go find a pair your size." He wasn't budging, so she looked to her grandma for support. "Nana, tell Chakotay, ice skating is fun, isn't it?"

"Oh yes," Nana assured, "and I spent many a wonderful winter day skating on that pond when I was younger. Come here, Chakotay, I have something for you. Come here, I don't bite… unlike some people around here."

Chakotay looked at Kathryn, reluctantly rose and went to stand by Nana's chair. "Yes, Ma'am."

"Here, you looked ridiculous in that hat you had on earlier and it was too small too and made you look like a conehead, so I made you one, a nice warm one, in blue because Katie said it was your favorite color. Go on, see if it fits."

Chakotay tried the hat on and it did fit well and earned a nod of approval from Kathryn. "It's wonderful, Mrs. Janeway, thank you very much, that was so very kind of you."

"You're quite welcome, Dear, and please call me Nana like Katie does and Merry Christmas. I'm making you a matching scarf and mittens too, but it may take me a couple days to finish them."

Chakotay almost let a tear slip as it was the first time a member of Kathryn's family had been nice to him. "Thank you, Nana, thank you very much and Merry Christmas to you too."

Kathryn couldn't keep her tears back as she gave her nana a hug and a kiss. "Thank you, Nana, that was very sweet of you. OK, Chakotay, get out on the porch and find some skates that'll fit you and get your coat and all on and I'll be right there as soon as I get Nana some more yarn from her room. You're not getting out of going ice skating with me; it's fun, I know you'll love it!"

Kathryn joined Chakotay just outside the porch with her skates slung over her shoulder. "I like the new hat much better! Hold on for a second, Nana decided she wants to come with us, so we have to wait for her."

"Nana? Kathryn, the woman is over a hundred and walks with a cane at a snail's pace, do you really think it's safe for her to try to walk in the snow, especially all the way down to the pond? Maybe I should carry her or something?"

Kathryn laughed, "I don't think it'll be a ………" WHAM! The porch door slammed open and they dove out of the way as Nana flew by them and sprayed them with snow. "……a problem. Nana has an all terrain hover chair, just be careful she doesn't run you over."

Nana gave them a ride to the pond on the platform on the back of her hover chair and parked so that she could watch them. To say that Chakotay was ungraceful, inept and totally devoid of natural talent on ice skates would have been too kind. Kathryn held onto him and tried to teach him the mechanics of gliding along, but he just couldn't get the hang of it and landed on his backside once again with a thump that was probably heard in Ohio. "That's it, Kathryn, I give up! I told you, all my ancestors lived in warm climates and they're probably all laughing at me right now. Face it, I'll never be able to skate, it isn't in my genes. Fact is there's only one thing I like about ice skating!"

"What's that?" Kathryn asked as she tried to get him to his feet again.

"That I get to hold hands with you! Go on and skate, I'll sit with Nana and keep her company. Skate as long as you want, I'll watch you." He gave her a cute little grin. "Go on, I like watching you almost as much as holding hands with you!" Kathryn tossed him a smile as she glided off and Chakotay sat on the bench next to where Nana had parked her chair as he traded his skates for his boots. "I tried, Nana, but I don't think I was meant to ice skate! Are you warm enough?"

"Yes, Dear, I'm just fine. Katie always was a good skater, she's so graceful, must be the ballet lessons she had when she was little, but I think she could skate before she could walk. Don't worry, it's hard to learn to skate when you're an adult and you did give it a good try. If you pile up some snow on the bench and sit on it, your backside won't hurt so much. I did think your snowman was quite a masterpiece, but then Katie did tell me you're artistic like she is, so that's to be expected." Nana took out a thermos and two small metal cups. "How about some of my special espresso to warm you up, Dear?"

Chakotay slipped off his gloves and held out his cup, "Yes, Ma'am, thank you, I love espresso." He warmed his hands with the cup before taking a sip. Tears came to his eyes as the espresso burned it's way down his esophagus and probably ate away the lining of his stomach. Chakotay coughed until he found his voice, "Uh, Nana, I don't think this is coffee."

"You're right, Dear, it's Irish whiskey." She took another sip and grinned. "Chakotay, how the hell do you think I get through the holidays with Kathryn's mother and all those kids around? There's only a dash of coffee in it to color it. More?"

"Uh, no, thank you, I don't really drink whiskey, Ma'am."

She shrugged her shoulders and took another sip. "Just as well, Katie never really took to it either. Chakotay, please don't let Gretchen and Katie's sister get you down. I can see that you love my granddaughter and make her happy and I happen to think you're a very nice man, in fact you remind me very much of Katie's father, and nothing would make this old lady happier than to see her with someone like you to take care of her. I overheard Gretchen talking to you and I really hope all of you can work things out, you don't leave and Gretchen comes to her senses."

Chakotay smiled and took Nana's hand. "Thank you, Nana, I hope so too, I don't want to ruin Kathryn's Christmas."

Nana drained her cup and smiled. "By the way, they all think I'm senile and I just let them because they wait on me and leave me alone and it makes my stays here much more pleasant, but let me assure you, I'm as sharp as I ever was."

Kathryn gracefully twirled up, came to a halt and stepped off the ice. Chakotay gave her a round of applause and a hug. "That was amazing Kathryn, you make it look so easy. I wish I could do that too, but I don't think there's much hope for me."

Kathryn sat on the bench, took off her skates and put her boots back on. "Thank you, but never say never, Chakotay. Whew, I'm not as young as I used to be, I'm tired and boy have I worked up an appetite for dinner."

Nana moved her chair in front of them. "Want a ride back?"

Remembering the wild ride down, Kathryn politely declined. "No thanks, Nana, I think we'll walk, but could you take our skates back for us?"

"Of course, Katie, and I'll make some hot cocoa for you to have when you get back, hide that dreadful fruitcake and put out the brownies." Nana started to leave, but turned around and stopped to face them again. "Take your time and maybe you two should hold hands on your way back, you know, to keep warm?" She winked and took off.

Chakotay stood and offered Kathryn his hand, "Maybe we should?"

She stood and took his hand, "Yes, I think we should, I'd like that."

"Kathryn, do you know your grandmother drinks whiskey?"

"Of course, who do you think filled her thermos for her?"

The rest of the family returned shortly after Kathryn and Chakotay got back to the house and the time away seemed to have mellowed them a bit. The kids made comments about the funny new snowman and Kathryn got her PADD and showed them pictures of Neelix as she and Chakotay told them about him. The kids were interested in hearing about Chakotay's people, but Phoebe shot him and unappreciative look, herded them away and started them playing some games before he had gotten very far.

Christmas Eve dinner was an amazing spread of home cooked food and everyone had seconds and most of them had thirds. Chakotay put more logs on the fire and the family gathered around and had coffee, cocoa and more cookies as Nana read the children 'Twas The Night Before Christmas. After the story was finished, the younger children went up to bed and Kathryn brought down more PADDs, showed pictures and told stories from some of the places Voyager had visited in the Delta Quadrant. When the last of the children went to bed, Gretchen filled their stockings while Uncle Charles got all of Santa's gifts out of hiding and placed them beneath the Christmas tree with the other presents.

Kathryn and Chakotay sat on the sofa, shared some wine and ate cookies until everyone else finally went to bed and left them alone. Gretchen gave them a disapproving look before she went upstairs, but they just dismissed it, not willing to let her ruin their evening. Kathryn moved to sit on the floor in front of the fire and patted the floor for Chakotay to join her. "Well, the day didn't start out too well, but I think it ended nicely, don't you, Chakotay?"

He sat beside her, put his arm around her shoulder and smiled. "Yes, Kathryn, I do. Despite the fact that there was more ice in here than there is outside, I had a wonderful evening and I really enjoyed all your family's traditions; it was just lovely, Kathryn."

"What was your favorite part?"

He thought for a moment. "I think it was seeing the kids' faces as Nana read them the story. I think I had read it before, but I'd never heard it read aloud like that. She did a wonderful job and it was just marvelous."

"Yes, Nana does a good job, but not quite as good as Daddy did. I can still remember him sitting in that same exact chair and reading it to Phoebe and me when we were little. I can also remember the year that I swear I saw Santa Claus too."

Chakotay laughed, "Did you have some of Nana's 'espresso' before you saw him?"

"Of course not, but I did see Santa, I really did! What was your least favorite part, aside from the bickering I mean?"

"That's easy too, fruitcake!" he replied as he stuck his finger down his throat and retched.

Kathryn laughed at that as fruitcake was not her favorite either. "Chakotay, if Santa were real and you could have anything you wanted for Christmas, what would it be?"

He looked at her and smiled as he pulled her closer. "Well, I really have everything that I want right here, but there is one thing more, Kathryn, except I'm keeping it between Santa and me."

She giggled, "Really, you want to keep secrets?"

He looked into her eyes. "Yes, Kathryn, aren't you supposed to do that at Christmas?"

"No, you're confused, it's only wishes you make when you blow out birthday cake candles that you're supposed to keep a secret. If I don't know what you want, how can I try to get it for you?"

"C'mon, it's late, let me help you clean up and let's get to bed. I already had a chat with Santa and I have it on good authority he's real, so I'm not the least bit worried."

As Kathryn came from the bathroom and sat on the edge of bed in the dark, she noticed that Chakotay was in her space. "What, are we switching sides of the bed every night?"

He moved over and turned back the covers for her, "No, not at all, it's chilly, I was just warming up your side of the bed for you, that's all. Kathryn, what's the agenda for tomorrow, Christmas Day?"

She crawled in and pulled up the covers. "Thanks, this is nice and warm, I appreciate it. Well, the kids will be up at the crack of dawn if not before, but they're not allowed to go downstairs until everyone is ready. I think Uncle Charles is going to be Santa this year and he'll hand out the presents and we all open and admire them together. While Mom and whoever is fixing breakfast, the rest of us clean up the mess and play with the kids until it's ready. She does a lot the night before and puts it in stasis, so it doesn't take too long.

After breakfast everyone gets dressed and the kids go outside to play until someone manages to drag them in. We just have a light lunch and the younger kids are so tired they usually take a nap, in fact most of us grab a nap. Dinner will be late and last for hours, so plan accordingly and I think a few more people will be here for dinner or drinks after and we do dress up, but your good suit will be fine. Watch out for the eggnog, Nana makes it, and, if you have more than two or three cups, you won't come to until after the first of the year."

"Thanks for the warning, I just wish you'd warned me about her 'espresso' too! Kathryn, what are you going to wear tomorrow? Kathryn?" Chakotay realized that Kathryn had fallen asleep, so he rolled back over and did the same.

Kathryn and Chakotay were awakened very early the next morning by a loud knock on their bedroom door. As they sat up in bed a sandy little head popped in and excitedly said, "Merry Christmas! Come on, hurry up, Aunt Katie and Uncle Chakotay, it's Christmas!

Phoebe's arm reached in and snatched the child away. "Just be patient, Sweetheart, and Chakotay is not your uncle!" Phoebe gave them a disapproving look as she slammed the door.

Kathryn bolted from the bed and made a colorful gesture at the door before she started crawling around on the floor. "Chakotay, have you seen my slippers? I can only find the left one."

He jumped out of bed and looked under his side before he realized, "Oh, no Kathryn, I forgot to go find your other slipper yesterday! Let me get dressed real fast and I'll go find it."

She laughed as she headed for the bathroom. "Forget it, it snowed again last night, you won't be able to find it until spring. I'll just wear my fuzzy socks and I bet Santa brought me a new pair of slippers! Oh, good morning and Merry Christmas, Chakotay!"

"Merry Christmas to you too, Kathryn."

Santa had indeed been to the Janeway farm and was very generous, so gift opening took well over an hour. The lion's share of the gifts were Kathryn's as she had missed the last seven Christmases. Chakotay sat behind her and kept her pile of opened gifts neatly stacked and made sure to keep the tags with them so she knew who had given her what. Kathryn was right about the new slippers, she now had three pairs, well actually three and a half pairs. She felt awful that she hadn't had the chance to do any Christmas shopping and had no gifts for anyone, but they all assured her that her being home was the best gift she could have given any of them.

As Kathryn got up to join everyone as they filed into the dining room for breakfast, Chakotay took her hand and pulled her aside as he slipped a small package from his bathrobe pocket and handed it to her. "Here, Kathryn, Merry Christmas."

Her eyes got moist as she looked at it and said, "Chakotay, I'm sorry, I don't have anything for you. Well, I mean I do, but it's in one of my cargo pods and they haven't been delivered yet. I'm so sorry!"

"Kathryn, it's OK, just getting to spend this day with you is more than I could ever want. Go on, open it."

She sat beneath the Christmas tree and opened the box. "Chakotay, I don't know what to say, they're lovely! These are from that planet we visited a couple months ago, aren't they? I know, they're from that little shop where there was a lady selling flowers outside. I admired them in the shop window and then you bought me some flowers, right?"

"Yes, Kathryn, that's exactly where they came from, I went back the next day and got them for you and I'm glad you like them. Come on, let's go eat breakfast before they miss us and one of us gets yelled at."

Kathryn leaned over, put her arms around Chakotay's neck and gave him a sweet but lingering kiss on the lips. "Thank you, Chakotay, Merry Christmas."

He smiled into her eyes, "No, thank you, Kathryn. Now I know Santa is real because you just gave me exactly what I asked him for! Merry Christmas."

After breakfast Kathryn and Chakotay joined most everyone outside to enjoy the fresh snow. After a brief group snowball fight, Kathryn went to the shed, brought out an old toboggan and handed it to Chakotay as they headed for the largest hill on the farm. "Let me guess, you've never been sledding either?"

"Actually, I have, sort of. At the arctic training center a bunch of us stole trays from the cafeteria and used them as makeshift sleds and they actually worked pretty well."

"No way!" Kathryn laughed. "That's so funny, when I was there we did that too."

"Cadet Janeway stealing from the cafeteria?"

"Well, I didn't personally steal any trays, but I may have clamped one to my fanny and slid down the hill behind the dorm a time or two. You want to sit in the front or back?"

"Back, you're the captain. Cadet Janeway, were there, by chance, any contraband alcoholic beverages involved when you were cafeteria tray sledding?"

"No comment!" Kathryn replied as she pushed off and sent the toboggan careening down the hill.

After a morning of sledding and a light lunch, a few people came to visit for a short time and eventually most everyone went upstairs for much needed naps. Kathryn awoke after only a short nap, so she quietly dressed for dinner early, went to the kitchen to see if she could help and found her mother basting the turkey.

"Oh, Mom, that looks just wonderful and smells even better! I know I'm not much help in the kitchen, but is there something I can do, set the table maybe?"

Her mother looked her over. "That's a pretty dress, Katie and your hair looks nice, but I do hope you let it grow back, and that's an absolutely stunning necklace. They're slightly faceted aren't they, very unusual, are they some sort of pearls?"

Kathryn held it out, "Yes, Momma, they're Delta Quadrant pearls, Chakotay bought them several months ago and gave them to me this morning. He saw me admiring them in a shop window and went back and got them for me, aren't they lovely?"

Gretchen went back to her cooking. "Humph, I bet he stole them! Katie, I went to set the table and there are two teaspoons missing from my silver flatware and I just know he stole them! Those damn Maquis are like that, you know, thieves and liars, and they take whatever they want! Look through his things and find them before he leaves."

Kathryn stormed out of the kitchen, quickly returned with a tray and slammed it on the counter in front of her mother. "He did not steal them, Mother, Chakotay doesn't steal things! Nana and I had some ice cream and I put the dishes aside and forgot to bring them back; here's your damn spoons! Now, is there anything I can help you with? Believe it or not, I know more about cooking than I used to, so how about I start the salad?"

"Suit yourself, Katie, but put an apron on first. I apologize about the spoons, but I still don't like him and I don't trust him. He may be Starfleet now, but once a Maquis, always a Maquis, and I don't care what you or Owen say. Use your brain, they didn't send Voyager out there to capture him because he was a nice guy, you know. I know Mark called earlier, what did he have to say?"

"Nothing, he just called to say Merry Christmas."

"Did he ask you out?"

"No, we didn't talk long, he had to go help his father clear the snow before their guests arrived."

"Didn't you ask him out? Now's the time, Katie, while he's home. Why don't you get rid of that man and invite Mark over this evening? He doesn't live in San Francisco anymore, you know."

"Yes, he told me and no, I didn't ask him out and I'm not going to. I'll say it again, Mom, I don't have any romantic interest in Mark Johnson anymore and it's mutual and I'm not interested in your parade of eligible bachelors either and the subject is closed for discussion, so let's just get on with making Christmas dinner."

Christmas dinner went on for hours as even more people came, largely to see Kathryn of course. Chakotay was glad to blend into the background and he and Nana actually had a reasonably good time playing chess and talking. He also managed to spend some time telling stories to the children while their parents were too occupied to notice. Chakotay had pleasant conversation with a few of the guests, as apparently somebody forgot to tell them that he was to be treated as a pariah.

Kathryn was very tired from all the Christmas activity, so the next morning it was late and the room was well lit with sunshine by time she woke up. Chakotay was gone, but she could hear him in the bathroom, so she dozed back into a light sleep waiting for him. She cracked open one eye as she watched him come out, put his nightclothes into his suitcase, then pick up the rest of his things from around the room and put them in as well. She sat up and smiled, "Good morning, going somewhere or are you just being a neat freak?"

Chakotay was startled as he thought she was still asleep. "Sorry, didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't. Chakotay, you aren't packing are you? What are you doing dressed so early?"

He stopped and sat on the side of the bed. "Kathryn, your mother told me I had to leave on Christmas Eve, but I talked her into letting me stay until today because I didn't want to ruin your Christmas. I wasn't trying to sneak out and leave without talking to you or anything like that, I thought you were asleep so I figured I'd go ahead and pack quietly and talk to you when you got up. I'll beam to Starfleet and see if I can get quarters there."

Kathryn hopped out of bed and started throwing things into her suitcase. "Well then, I'm going with you."

He stopped her and sat her back down. "No, Kathryn, you stay here and enjoy your leave time with your family. I'll wait for you in San Francisco and we can talk every day and make plans, maybe get together for dinner or something. This is your mother's house and I'll obey her wishes, I don't want to cause any trouble… any more trouble."

"The only trouble is my mother and, if she's going to be that way, then I don't really want to be here either. I'm leaving too, we can beam right out and just get breakfast there. Come on, hurry up!"

No amount of talking would dissuade Kathryn and she, Chakotay and their bags were at the front door within half an hour. Gretchen dragged Kathryn into the kitchen and tried to reason with her, but it fell on deaf ears. "Kathryn, be reasonable about this and stay! You've been gone for seven years and we all want to spend time with you."

"No, Mom, as rude as most everyone has been to poor Chakotay, I think I'd leave anyhow, but you had no reason to throw him out, he's been nothing but polite. I invited him here and you had no call to treat him the way you did. We're going back to San Francisco and I'll figure something out there. I'm sorry, Mom, but I care about that man out there and I hope he and I are going to be a part of each other's lives and I am very sorry that you just can't accept that. Just so you know, he tried to talk me into staying here, he didn't ask me to go with him; it's my decision. I'll send you a message this evening when I'm settled. Goodbye, Mother."

With that Kathryn walked out into the hall, hugged her nana, picked up her bags, walked to the end of the sidewalk with Chakotay and they beamed away.

Nana shut the door and shuffled off down the hall mumbling, "I hope you're damn proud of yourself, Gretchen Janeway!"

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