The Smile

He had a smile. A smile that could twist my every nerve and make me want to scream and break free of the restraints that I had placed on myself. I loved that smile. His eyes that were hidden behind that mysterious mask of his and the hands that were so hard and strong yet gentle and smooth at the same time were hidden under his gloves. Sometimes I'd wonder what they'd feel like on my hands, holding mine for a little while.

But even as I stood there, watching those hands, free of gloves for the first time in a long time, I wondered when he'd smile. Because it was the smile. It was always the smile.

"So I was thinking we could clean up Star's room, considering she's moved out and all." His voice was a forced nonchalance and there was a little bit of laughter behind the even tones. I saw through it all. "I mean, now that she's with the Titan's East, maybe we could repaint and use it as storage?"

He wasn't looking at me, even though I was the only one in the kitchen. Beast Boy and Cyborg had left earlier to eat out seeing as there was nothing in the fridge. I thought that maybe Robin and I needed this time alone seeing as he'd been swamped with the hopeless antics of the other two and Starfire leaving.

Whatever crush he'd had on her was long gone after she started dating Speedy. I nodded blindly at his thought and gripped my mug tighter as I brought it to my lips for a sip of the chamomile tea. It warmed my lips and my mouth and for a while it even countered the dryness that I was feeling from not having the ability to speak to the boy who I was watching for a smile.

I'm not stalking. I'm just waiting. That's all I want to do for now. It's what I do a lot of the time now. Just sit and wait and hope that he smiles, something his tired form hasn't been able to do much lately. Maybe if I said something funny? Yeah right. I don't do funny. Sigh it's a shame really.

"Rae? Are you even listening?" he asked, a trace of annoyance in his voice.

I raised a brow and looked at him, folding my arms, my mug still in one of them. "When do I not?"

He gave a curt nod and turned back to the boiling saucepan of water. I could smell the cooking pasta, that warm bread-like scent and I could see the other saucepan containing the red tomato sauce simmering away. Sighing, I decided to humour him and so I walked up to him and placed the mug on the counter, shifting myself onto it, right next to the stove where Robin was cooking.

"So," I began sourly, "you want to paint Star's old room."

I thought I saw his lips twitch as I said it and I held my breath in anticipation for the smile that never came in the end. I cursed silently but remained calm and bored.

"Yeah. I want to paint her room."

"What colour?"

"Red."

"It's already red."

"No, I'd say it's more of a pink."

I almost laughed at that. Almost. "Since when have you been the artist?"

Running a hand through his hair, he said naturally, "Since I decided that we should paint that room."

As he placed his hand to lean on the counter, his fingers brushed my own hand lightly before settling down on the wood. I felt a tingle for a second before shaking it off and clearing my throat. I wish he'd just smile already. It's not that hard to do for a human like him. He does it all the time for the Gods' sake.

"Do you want to take your mask off?" I asked suddenly, not knowing where that question came from. If you want to call me an idiot, do it now before I forbid you the right to.

There was a puzzled and confused look on his face and I noticed that his cheeks were a little red. He was blushing. That frustrated me even more. So he could blush but not smile? I don't even know why him smiling is so important. I don't even know why I care because usually I don't.

"What? My mask?"

Regaining composure, I shook my head and shrugged. "It was just a thought. You don't have to."

He seemed uncomfortable now and he looked away, scratching the back of his neck. I frowned slightly and wondered what the matter was.

"Well uh, if you want me to I suppose I could but no one here has ever really seen me without my mask before but I suppose, seeing as you're the only one here and all..."

I gently placed my hand on the one that was about to reach back and untie his mast. He looked up at me questioningly and I shook my head. "Don't. You don't have to."

As I pulled my hand away, I purposely did it slowly, my fingers running against his cheek as I pulled back. His skin was smooth from having shaved recently and I felt butterflies in my stomach from the contact. Human contact could be so disgusting at times but this once I suppose it was alright.

He looked at me and I at him for an extended moment. He had a very slight frown on his forehead and his lips were parted a little, almost as if he was about to say something or was pondering something very deeply. I was about to say something, even I don't know what it was, but I looked at the pasta and said casually,

"So is it almost done?"

And he too went quickly back to being normal and said casually, "I believe it is, just enough for the two of us."

I fetched the plates from the cupboard above me and handed them one by one to him, letting him fill both plates. We waited a while for them to cool down and opted for eating just where we were. And I looked at him again, watching his serious face as he stared off into space somewhere.

Maybe if I...

"Robin?"

He turned to me and upon seeing my questioning look, he smiled, one of those boyish lopsided grins of his and my heart stopped. My nerves screamed, begging for mercy and for a while it felt as if I couldn't see and I had to blink it away. I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out and so I shook my head quickly and instead filled my mouth with the rest of my cold tea and nearly ended up choking on the stuff.

He smiled. And Gods did I feel like burying myself in a hole right now and coming out at the other end of the world.

A/N: Hey everybody. I know that I've been the worst person lately but that's about to stop! I swear. I've just been going through a very rough time and things haven't been too good my end of the world so as an apology to all of you, here's a story that I just wrote because I think it's time I get my writing habits back again. And I hope you all like it. I know it's not much but it was a quickie and I'll be back and running pretty soon. Hope you're all doing well and I'll catch you guys sometime this week for an update of one of my other stories that I've not finished. Please review and no flames because those just really ruin my day and in all honesty I don't need any of that right now...