Author's Note: Welcome to the last chapter guys! I'm trying to put my whole heart into this last chapter, so bare with me; it's in a guy's point of view so I don't want to start sounding like a girl. I'll repeat again (for I think the 3rd time) there is a 2nd part to this story, which is happier. If you would like me to post it, please leave a comment (incase you didn't know I do accept anonymous ones) and I'll post the other one. And even if you hate this story and never want me to write again, comment on that too…I won't stop unless someone tells me to cuz well…I won't know till someone tells me.
Ponyboy:
I wish I could blame shock, I even wish I could blame rage, but I can't blame anything or anyone, but myself for what happened. My girlfriend, Riley, the girl I would of given anything for, was leaving. After everything I did to protect her, after all my hopes and prayers, I was still loosing her. I was a wreck for weeks after I found out. Even when I was sitting by her bed telling her everything would be ok, in my head and heart I was battling a war because I knew it my heart it wouldn't. I knew she would be gone and things would change and I would loose her. I hate change; I hate loosing things. Why? Why do I have to loose everyone I love? What did I do to deserve this? I try to be a good person, but no matter what I do, I still loose everything. What's the point anymore?
Those were the thoughts that were going through my head when I said it. I didn't mean it…but I said it anyway. Riley was standing in the doorway of my room in jeans and a white tank top, curly blonde hair pulled back into a high ponytail, and icy eyes just staring at me in aching, just wanting me to reassure her that everything would be ok.
I looked at Riley, swallowing all truths to feed my own wrath and said to her, "I don't love you Riley…"
Her heart broke…I know her heart broke because of the look she gave me at that moment. If you haven't seen the look of heartache or experienced the stab of losing someone, then you can't understand what Riley and I went through in that moment. Riley's bright and daring artic eyes went to pale and vulnerable in seconds. Her lips quivered along with an uneasiness that set over her entire body. Her breaths became deep and quick, as if she was hyperventilating.
Before she spoke again, she began to blink rapidly, then bit and licked her lips in one motion, "Umm…well…I guess this is…good bye then Pony…" She paused a moment, looking at me with pleading eyes, wanting me to run to her like I use to, but I knew I couldn't. She then nodded. "Good bye…" She then turned her back to me for the first time ever, and hobbled as fast as she could to the door.
I walked over to my bed and lay down, staring up. I had just started to pick out designs in the random bumps that decorated the ceiling, when Darry marched in. "What did you do?!"
I didn't move. "Nothing…"
"Nothing?!" Darry voiced roared like a lion throughout the tiny house. "Riley just left here in tears! What do you mean you didn't do anything? What did you say to her?"
I shrugged, sitting up. "I told her good-bye…I told her we couldn't be together. Distance isn't going to do any good for this relationship and we're going to meet new people. Why should we sit here and fake that it'll work for a few months? Forget it, let's just get it over with and be done with it."
Darry laughed, crossing his arms. "Over with? You really think that's what you just did? Made things easier for both of you. Are you blind as a fucking bat Ponyboy?" When I didn't reply, he groaned in aggravation. "Did you ever see Riley's mother come up to the hospital to make sure Riley was ok?" I didn't answer again, so he continued. "And Riley is taking a taxi to the airport. Do you think our Mom would of done that? No, she would have been at that hospital in a heartbeat and you know that. And she wouldn't have paid someone to move our stuff; she would of packed it herself! Riley hasn't heard from her mother in months and now of a sudden she appears! Don't you think all of this adds up to be a bit strange to you Pony?"
I sat up, in curiosity, but I made sure to keep a straight face as I looked at Darry, not wanting him to know he sparked my interest. "What are you getting at?"
Darry sighed, rolling his eyes. "Something strange is going on…Riley's ordeal is not over yet and the person she loves has turned his back on her. Riley is going to go through a whole lot more because I know there's something Riley's mom isn't telling her and she's going to find it out and be dispirited so fast it would make all of our heads spin at once! Why couldn't you think about Riley for one second, instead of your own selfish need to get over it!" He marched out.
I lay back down and threw my pillow across the room, screaming at no one in particular. I was heated; Darry was right. Things with Riley's mom didn't add up right and Riley was going to be bouncing on crap for the rest of her life, just waiting to drop.
I didn't hear from Riley at all, my brothers said they hadn't, but I wondered if they lied to me because of what I had said. I went to the library and looked up numbers, hoping I would find one with her mother's name, but found nothing. I tried talking to old friends of hers, but none of them knew anything. It was as if Riley had been an angel, sent to make sure me and the gang were doing our best to help others out…did we pass?
I cried for years it seemed like; even when I would start seeing a different girl, I would always compare them to Riley and end up destroying them because they were nothing like her and it enraged me that they couldn't and wouldn't be. When I would see cornflower blonde hair blowing in the breeze as I walked, I would run to the person praying to find Riley, but never did. I searched for her…even after I told everyone I was over her, I would still searched. I wondered how she was doing, if she had found out her mother's secret, if she wondered about me at all. But the question that haunted my dreams almost every night was - would I ever see her again?