The tenth and final part, telling of obscure British comedy references, not-your-standard-riddle, and an end.

Chapter 10:

"Sonic!" Aleena's face broke out into a wide smile as she beheld her son returning unharmed. "Have you found Shad…oh."

It said something for the purple hedgehog that she was a lot faster on the uptake than certain Generals. Also, a Queen always kept her countenance, even if her husband should happen to die in front of all the dinner guests (which Scourge had…), so her smile never faltered for an instant. It just changed from a radiant one to a…slightly twitchier version.

"Well," she finally said, "I certainly hadn't expected that."

xxx

Under an invisibility spell in the shadows, Knuckles turned to a worried-looking Rouge and raised an eye ridge. "…this is the part where we jump out and yell 'Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!' right?"

"…shut up."

xxx

There was a bit of an uneasy silence as the royals stared at each other. Queen Aleena was currently seeing the Crown Prince holding the hand of a black hedgehog that looked the same as her son in everything but fur colour and quill shape – and unfortunately differed only very little in some other important aspects.

Sonic, however, didn't even know where to look. There was the incredulous stare of his mom, framed on the left by Amy who looked like she needed to go to the bathroom very badly, and on the right by Lord Jules who seemed to have trouble keeping a straight face. The fifth hedgehog in the room, Silver, appeared still rather confused, and when he asked his girlfriend loudly "But why did he bring a guy?" Sonic just wanted to die.

xxx

"You know, if we had them all standing next to each other, like purple, pink, black, blue, silver, they'd look like the Carebears. Carehogs."

Rouge stared at Knuckles. "Have you gone insane?"

xxx

"So, Sonic…" Aleena finally started, after somewhat composing herself again and both young males straightened.

"Eh, look, Mom, I can explain-" Amy began as well, despite the fact that half of all domestic homicides probably started with that sentence,

"You see, we thought Shadow was a girl and-"

"No, I met him in the forest where he was trying not to kill Chao because his sister is a starfish-" Sonic explained at the same time, both hedgehogs now talking simultaneously until "-wait a minute, does that mean was he checking me out under the table?!" Silver gasped, certain things taking time to impact, and then all three of them were talking frantically, trying to be loudest.

Jules and Aleena exchanged a look, mostly along the lines of 'How come you never read about this happening in other Kingdoms?'.

"This is enough. I am sorry for giving you all this trouble and endangering the Prince. If you let me leave now, you will never hear from me again." A clear voice suddenly cut through the babble and at least Sonic shut up instantly, grabbing a half-turned Shadow's wrist at once. "No way, you're not going anywhere! Mom, just say something!" Sonic shouted, looking up at his mother with something akin to slight panic.

Lord Jules sighed. "Perhaps we should listen to the whole story first…"

xxx

"It's not 'fairy god-thingy', I'm a wizard! What the hell is that hedgehog telling them?!" Knuckles fumed, glaring at Sonic who was making even more of a mess out of explaining things than usual, while Rouge merely rolled her eyes.

xxx

It took an entire half-hour until all details concerning two-tailed foxes, sadistic alchemists and dead ponies in particular were sorted out and even then the Queen did look more worried than relieved.

"So your name is still Shadow, then? It does lend itself to both genders when you think of it…"

"So it does." Shadow nodded. "When I was still in the concept stage, Professor Gerald had not yet determined my gender, so he chose an all-purpose title."

"Ah, yes. You said you were an illegal experiment." Aleena tried to keep her tone neutral, her mind's eye fixed on a dangerously swaying pile labelled 'complications' that was right now threatening to keel all over her mental writing desk.

"I am." Shadow looked her in the eyes, his crimson gaze impenetrable. On a secret note, he was still trying to get the Queen to throw him into the dungeons or just kill him, since that would mean Sonic wasn't about to ruin his life because of him. On another one, it was also…relieving. The blue hedgehog had not been repulsed, freaked out or disturbed at all when Shadow had revealed to him his origin, like he had expected the Prince to be. (Instead, he had only blinked once, looking rather cute, before then asking the very same question that the Rouge had also enquired about…even if Shadow this time hadn't been wearing a towel to lift. It was safe to say that the black hedgehog had at first blushed rather fiercely before pushing a deviously grinning Sonic so hard he fell off the travelling coach's bench.)

But it had not changed the fact that this acceptance Sonic was able to give had made Shadow feel happy like he hadn't in years.

"But Mom, what does that have that to do with anything?" Sonic asked at that, gesturing in agitation. "Everybody who has a problem with that can just emigrate to Robuttnik's place and keep their trap shut!"

"Sonic! That is not how I taught you to think of your people!" Aleena surged to her feet at this, more shocked than angry. It had always been her worst nightmare to see her son grow up to become like the previous King – but then her expression softened again as she heard the next words.

"Mom…I love him."

"Sonic…" Aleena spoke softly, but insisting.

"No." The younger blue hedgehog gripped the black one's hand only tighter. "I could never leave him. If there's anyone to be my partner, it's going to be Shadow."

"And what do you say?" Jules suddenly spoke up, his brown eyes fixing on the black hedgehog. "I haven't yet heard you utter your opinion to this at all."

"…I don't care what happens to me. I only want to make Sonic happy," Shadow said, and everyone could see how his words hit straight home with Aleena who suddenly had to swallow and look away, "And maybe chain the rest of my family up, if possible."

"Oh. Yes, of course. Black Doom, we have to do something about him," the purple hedgehog quickly admitted, attempting to adopt a business-like approach again while Sonic had to snort at Shadow's last wish.

"But Mom, do we have to decide anything today?" Amy asked. "I mean, Sonic and Shadow could just live in the Palace until everybody has gotten used to it, and then, later…"

"Unfortunately, no." The Queen shook her head. "It has been decreed that the Prince is to choose a bride at the ball and announce her today. Otherwise, there would be unrest among the other noble families who are just waiting for a chance to have a go at the throne. It was a chore giving you time up until now, even," she said, sounding tired for the first time since they'd seen her today and Sonic could feel his stomach clenching up as once again the thousands of threads that governed a royal life were threatening to tie him down and suffocate him…

"You said if me or Amy found their one true love today at the ball, you would give your consent," the Prince said quietly, not looking at his mother.

"He saved the Chao, mom. Surely he would be a good ruler." Amy nodded, nudging her boyfriend. "Right, Shiny?"

"Yes. Anything to keep the Prince occupied. Eh, I mean happy!"

"If I may also add my say," Jules stepped forward, "I think Sonic wouldn't be the first royal to engage in a somewhat…unusual relationship. Isn't that so, my Queen?" he asked, inconspicuously stepping behind a surprised Prince at this and laying his hands on the younger hedgehog's shoulders, their fur colours perfectly matching, and Jules waggling his eyebrows until Aleena gave him a dead-pan look.

"Jules. I'll have you thrown into the dungeons for High Treason."

The older blue hedgehog merely laughed, before whispering something into her Majesty's ear – Amy couldn't understand anything besides it having something to do with chains, whips and 'dungeon setting indeed', before her mother hissed something so fiercely that Jules stumbled backwards, still chuckling, but didn't dare to open his mouth again. Sometimes, the older hedgehog reminded her way too much of Sonic, really.

"So, uh…how do you like this family you're about to marry into?" The Prince asked at that, giving his black-furred companion a slightly lop-sided smile.

Shadow looked at the collected hedgehogs.

There was the borderline case of homophobia, Silver, (who was currently trying to keep Amy in between Sonic and himself at all times), the Princess Amy whose hobby was calling her boyfriends by names sounding like a bathroom cleaning foam, then his azure lover beside him, who seemed more fit for the title 'Suicidal Knight' than 'Crown Prince' and finally Jules and Aleena, apparently in an illicit relationship that could cost them all their heads at some point.

Shadow smiled.

"I like it already."

"That is nice of you to say, Shadow, but I am afraid that this marriage is still impossible and is not going to happen." Queen Aleena had composed herself again, and the last rays of the dying sun throwing her into profile suddenly made her seem a lot older than she was, and for the first time Sonic saw in her unmoved face more his ruler than his mother.

"Wh-what?! But why?" he wailed, and everyone else (sans Shadow) also looked crestfallen, staring at their Queen with shock. Shadow only lowered his head, not saying anything since he had expected something along those lines.

"Sonic, my son, I love you. But even for my children, I cannot disobey the laws of our country," Aleena said, descending the steps of her throne to walk over to a pedestal. Atop on it lay the tome that had governed the lives of everyone in their kingdom for centuries and it had been an unyielding tradition that 'no man mortal, or of woman born' ever were to change them, for that was what would open the door to capriciousness and chaos. In fact, the very first of the Kings had asked a mage to cast a spell on it with those very exact and conditions, and the result was that even though many brave, skilled, clever or strong men had tried to write new rules in there or cross old ones out, none had ever succeeded and thus, the law was set in iron.

When the purple hedgehog now opened the book and her gaze trailed along the dusty pages, Sonic could feel the dread sinking through his stomach. He knew what was going to come.

"The sanctified bond of matrimony is a divine connection between a man and a woman, sealed in the name of the Queen and the Gods themselves," Aleena recited, and the last sliver of sun vanished behind the horizon.

"No," whispered Sonic, his fist clenching futilely. Shadow laid a hand on his shoulder, shaking his head. He hadn't really been expecting anything else.

Because life wasn't a fairy tale…

"No! Cream, get back here!"

All heads whipped around as suddenly a slim figure was dashing across the room, little wings on her back fluttering frantically as they gave her an additional boost. Her brown eyes were blazing and lower lip jutting out dangerously as she shot into the direction of the book, not even caring that Silver and Jules had to hastily stumble out of her way. The cry, however, had come from a white-furred bat who now emerged from behind a column at the back of the throne hall, a red wizard of undefined species on her heels.

"Rouge? Knuck-?" Shadow began, unheard in the general surprised gasps and exclamations as the little girl now skidded into the pedestal and clutched at the book.

"I won't go back! It said we were supposed to make Shadow happy!" she shouted back towards the other two newcomers who now scrambling past the astonished royals, muttering apologies.

"Rouge, this is so screwed up-"

"I know! Cream, please let go of that book." The bat had bent down next to the rabbit and was trying to coax it from her, who held it tightly to her chest.

"Uhm, excuse me, but this is royal property…" Jules started at this, while Sonic snipped his fingers.

"Hey, I know you! I saw you taking Shadow away!" he exclaimed, pointing at the white bat.

"Then they are Shadow's fairy godmothers?" Amy asked, incredulous. "I always thought they would be more…I dunno, magic-like."

"Well, the red guy is wearing a wizard hat," Sonic pointed out, all of them aware that the conversation had taken a turn for the bizarre while all were too surprised to get their thoughts sorted. Meanwhile, the little rabbit still refused to hand back the book of laws.

"It said we should make Shadow happy, so we will! It's not fair when he can't marry the one he loves!"

"Cream, darling, we can't change the laws…"

"Yes, we can. The sun has gone down so we can help people again." The girl nodded eagerly.

"What are you, reverse vampires?" Sonic raised an eye ridge, before his mother finally seemed to get her bearings back.

"…I want an explanation. And the book."

"I'm very sorry, your Majesty, but if we take the book, Cream cries," Knuckles said somewhat desolately.

"And you are…?"

"Knuckles. Knuckles the Echidna. Maybe I should explain our role in this some more…"

xxx

"So, you hid in the throne room because you weren't sure what to do and then your little team member here decided to take fate into her own paws?" Jules summed it up at the end and the fairies nodded. The older blue hedgehog looked thoughtful for a moment. "Well, why don't we try it?"

"Try what?" Aleena looked at her lover, slightly taken aback.

"Try to change the laws so Sonic can marry, of course! We have magic assistance now, maybe it'll work," Jules said, giving them a confident smile.

Knuckles shook his head. "Not really. The magic of this book is ancient, not even we can undo that spell. It is like it is. 'No man mortal, or of woman born' will be able to have any effect on it."

"Then let me try it! I'm a girl!" Amy suddenly piped up, smiling and Aleena's eyes grew wide. "Of course! Why haven't we ever thought of that?"

"But it's always like this, isn't it?" the Princess smiled, taking the book from unresisting hands of the rabbit and opened it on the section pertaining to marriage. "I've read dozens of fairy tales like this. You know, all of that 'speak friend and the door shall open' nonsense, and these spells always have a back-" she broke off when she tried to scribble on the page and the perfectly working pencil suddenly crumbled to dust.

An awkward silence followed.

"Erm. Well. Maybe this isn't your typical spell," Silver finally ventured, addressing all of them who were currently sitting around in a very un-royal-like circle on the floor. "Maybe there's something we missed."

"Hmm." Rouge pursed her lips. "Maybe it was a very picky magician. Perhaps it only works if the person is both immortal and female – in which case, let me try it."

"You? You're an immortal?" Aleena asked at this, genuinely taken aback. Rouge grinned.

"We're mythical creatures, your majesty. Our given benefits aren't just company-paid health insurances." Still smiling, she pulled another pen forth from a hidden pocket on her dress, opened the book, set the tip on the page…

…and shrieked just a little when the pen burst into flame.

Knuckles facepalmed.

"Let's face it. This isn't going to work, ever." He stood up. "I'm going to take a walk, this is a waste of time…"

"Hmm. No, it must be something about the wording. What have we missed with Rouge…"

Sonic scratched his ear. "Shadow, help me. After all, you have to be clever what with living with all those scientist-hey, wait!" The younger blue hedgehog had leapt up. "Of course! It's because of that 'of woman born' stuff! Rouge had a mother, but Shadow didn't!"

The black hedgehog scowled. "Hey, you don't have to rub it in…"

Sonic grasped the shoulders of the other, delighted. "No, Shadow, you don't understand! You can change the book!"

It was just like in a fairy tale. The third would be successful. It was the special one, the main character, of course.

It was ten seconds later that Sonic was bandaging the black hedgehog's hand after the latest pencil had bitten his lover when he tried to write in the book.

"I don't get it! What was wrong this time?!" Amy wailed, confused, while Sonic was still busy apologizing to Shadow who was currently dead-panning him.

"Shadow might not have had a mother, but he is certainly a mortal male. You told us he doesn't age, but that doesn't mean he can't die." Rouge shook her head.

Jules had sat back on his haunches, glancing at the ceiling. "Then who fulfils the conditions? Did the magician mean a female immortal without a mother? What on Mobius was the guy on?"

"No," Aleena pointed to the passage in the book again. "Look at this comma here. 'No man mortal, or of woman born.' Maybe it means that the person has to be either female and immortal or without a mother."

"Maybe male and immortal, but with a mother? Like a double negative?" Silver hazarded, getting immediately interrupted by Rouge: "No, no, no, I think it's supposed to mean a female mortal, but without a mother."

"Or asuexual reproduction! We're looking for a female amoeba."

"Or maybe we're mis-reading this and it means 'of woman porn' and the guy is supposed to have a pure mind. Which means everyone who tried it and failed is a pervert."

A heated discussion erupted almost instantly and Shadow silently rested his head against Sonic's shoulder. Somehow, in all of the other fairy tales, riddles like these never lead to situations like this.

"Really, couldn't it have been something easy, like the meaning of life?" The blue hedgehog grumbled, before grasping his lover's hand again.

"Shadow…" he whispered, bringing his mouth close to the other's ear. "You know…if we can't change the book. If there is no way we can be together in the Palace. Even if the whole country was burning down around us, I'd still stay with you. I might be Crown Prince and own a kingdom, but my heart already belongs to you and no one else. I love you."

Shadow had looked up slowly while Sonic spoke these words so softly, emerald eyes dark with emotion, fear and sincerity. Shadow's lips parted.

"Then the same goes for me, Sonic…"

Eyes slowly closing, they leaned into each other, world all but forgotten…

"Hey, what do you say. Now I want my Emerald and grapes."

Sonic and Shadow blinked. Nothing could quite ruin a moment like a surreal comment of fruits.

"What…?" Both hedgehogs turned their heads and emerald as well as crimson eyes turned wide when they saw along with everybody else a happy Knuckles scribbling effortlessly into the book of laws that had remained unchanged for centuries. When he noticed their looks, he raised an eyeridge. "What 'what'? And do you want just gay marriages or lesbians, too?"

"How did you do this?" Sonic finally managed.

Knuckles shrugged. "Easy. I'm not a male mortal, since I'm immortal. And as for the second part…" he smirked.

"Ever heard that echidnas hatch from eggs?"

xxx

"Well. If that was supposed to be the fairy tale of our wedding I'm not going to tell it to our kids as long as I'm sober," Sonic groaned and rubbed his eyes as it was a lot later that evening. After the book of Laws had been adjusted, the fairies had departed…and Shadow stayed in the castle, retiring with Sonic to his dorm so both could get some sleep before the preparations for the wedding would begin the next day. Never underestimate what an absolute monarch means for lack of bureaucracy.

"I mean, honestly. We can be together because that red guy comes from an egg? What kind of crackpot idea-"

Sonic's rant was smothered when Shadow pulled him over to his side of the bed and into a kiss.

"Hush. Don't complain about it. And personally, I think kids won't be much of an issue for us."

"What do you mean?" Sonic blinked.

Shadow levelled a half-lidded look at him. "Because, Sonic, we're both male. Meaning, no kids." Then an idea seemed to strike him. "Except, of course, if you'd be willing to undergo certain operations-"

"…I'll pretend you never, ever said that." The blue hedgehog gave him a slightly weirded-out stare, before smiling again. "No, we can adopt one of Silver and Amy's kids if we ever need an heir. You won't mind being an uncle, right?"

"Not as long as you take care of them while they're still in diapers and in the puking-and-grabbing stage, no."

Sonic shoved the other playfully with his head. "What are you trying to do, already make me the woman in the relationship? I thought Black Doom had at least taught you better manners…"

"Right." Shadow blinked. "You know, we still don't know where he is."

Sonic shrugged. "Yeah, but who cares? Maybe he found the love of his life, too."

xxx

The place was green. It was green, it was sticky, it was hotwethumidloudanddisgusting and Black Doom hated every minute of it. Why did he have to end up here? And then that creature had eaten the emerald he needed to Chaos Control away, meaning he was stuck.

No, the mood of the alchemist as he sat fuming at the riverbank next to the rudimentary hut was bad, and by no means improved by the delighted giggling of Eyeleen in his back, or when loud footsteps heralded the arrival of the other creature that lived here.

"Are you still so gloomy, Mr. Doomy?" a deep, slow voice enquired, its owner sounding so cheerful Black Doom wanted to strangle puppies in front of him. "You can be happy now, I caught a big fish for tonight!"

"Ooooh, did you hear that, my love?" Eyeleen cooed to her new boyfriend sitting at her lower tentacles. "It's going to be fish again! How wonderful, it means we will be able to eat the bait! Oh, I've never been so happy in my life, and all because I met you."

"Ribbit," Froggy replied, summing all of his feelings on the issue up.

xxx

And while Black Doom most certainly wasn't, Sonic and Shadow, and everyone else in the realm during the following Golden Era of the Two Kings, lived

Happily.

Ever.

After.

Fin

Wheee, this crackpot of a story is finished! I have to say I had a lot of fun writing this and I hope that goes for reading it, too. I almost feel affectionate for Doom's Eye now and I think that's a bad sign. Hope you find some amusement in my other stories, too (if you liked this one, try "Sonic Drabble Trouble!", that's where most of my other absurdity is contained - oh, and "Wikipedia: Hedgehogs" of course. ;) And yes, it will be completed!)

Thank you all so much for reading, sticking with it during the long intervalls, all the awesome feedback and if you read...please review! :D

-- Taranea, 27/05/09