Disclaimer: Matantei Loki Ragnarok belongs to Sakura Kinoshita, not me. I make no profit from this.

– CHAPTER 1 –

Secrets and Lies

It was a nice, calm day in Jotunheim, or at least as nice and calm as it was possible to be in the land of giants. In fact, it was so peaceful that it gave Loki an eerie feeling. He was already a little ill at ease after having sneaked out of Asgard without telling anyone where he was really going, and all the way to Jotunheim he had been looking over his shoulders to make sure he wasn't being followed. Now, as he went through the dark Ironwood in Jotunheim, he kept looking around guardedly, as if expecting someone – or something – to jump him at any moment.

He didn't normally get this nervous when he did something he knew he wasn't supposed to be doing. Quite the contrary, he sometimes took much amusement from it and was very laid-back even when things started to get a little messy. This time, however, he felt as though there was someone watching him all the time, following his every movement, and it was really getting on his nerves. The unnatural silence in these dark woods only exacerbated his paranoia.

Nevertheless, his journey was completely uneventful and he eventually reached his destination, a relatively large yet modest abode that was mostly obscured by great trees and shadows. If he didn't already know it was there, he might have completely overlooked it. This was quite deliberate; not many in this realm wanted others to know where they lived.

He stood before the wooden door and knocked quietly, knowing the sounds would be heard even if they were almost inaudible to his own ears. The door creaked open slightly and he blinked at it in surprise. After a moment of hesitation, he opened it further and slowly allowed himself in.

"Hello?" he called out, not very loudly, as he looked around. At the sound of soft steps, he looked up at the tall young woman who had just come into sight. She smiled warmly at him.

"Welcome back, Lord Loki," she said. Loki smiled back at her.

"Hello, Angrboda," he said. "And what have I told you? It's just 'Loki'."

Before she had the chance to reply, a small, black figure zoomed into the room and jumped on Loki, shouting, "Daddy! You're back!" Loki looked down at the little wolf that was his son while holding him in his arms.

"Fenrir!" said Loki, grinning when his son affectionately licked his face. "Of course I'm back! I did promise you I'd come back, didn't I?" He said so with much sincerity in his voice, although he admittedly felt a little guilty. While he had indeed promised he would return to see his giant children again, he was a little late. Well, maybe more than just a little late. Actually, he couldn't even remember when was the last time he had come to see them, and the promise to visit them had completely escaped his mind until recently. But he wasn't going to admit that out loud.

Thankfully, neither Fenrir nor Angrboda questioned him about it. They were just happy to see him again after so long, Loki supposed, feeling even more guilty.

He then noticed two small figures lurking by the door, watching him inconspicuously. One was a little girl who was partly standing behind the wall, so that only the right half of her body was visible to Loki. Next to the her feet was the other figure, a dark green serpent whose forked tongue was flickering curiously in his direction. As strange as it might have seem to anyone else, those two were also Loki's children. He smiled tentatively at them.

"Come on, you two," Angrboda told them encouragingly. "Won't you greet your father?"

The first to move was the snake, who slithered forwards slowly but unhesitatingly, curled up a good few feet away from Loki, and looked up at him, his reptilian eyes unblinking and unreadable.

"Welcome back, Father," he said politely, almost reverently, and lowered his head as if bowing. One might as well have thought he was Loki's lowly servant rather than his son. He had always been so very formal, even at such a young age. That made dealing with him a little awkward at times, and now was a good example.

"Hello, Jormungand," Loki replied, with a little less enthusiasm than when he had greeted Fenrir. The contrast between Fenrir's reception and Jormungand's was so great, they were like polar opposites. "And hello to you, too, Hel," he said to the little girl, trying to sound as cheerful as possible, while she shyly approached.

"Hello, Father," she whispered in response, unsmiling. Without quite noticing what he was doing, Loki found himself staring at the half of her body that had been hidden until now. It was slightly decaying flesh, and his nose instinctively wrinkled before he caught himself.

Loki felt quite lost. He didn't have much experience with this. What did fathers do when meeting their children for the first time in years? Hug them, maybe? His gaze quickly flickered in Hel's direction, particularly her left half. Maybe not. Besides, Jormungand didn't look too keen on getting any closer, either. Desperately, he racked his brain for something to break the ice.

"Um. Wow, you've all grown up so much!" he remarked. There, that sounded fatherly enough, didn't it? At least Fenrir responded positively by wagging his tail.

"You can only tell because it's been ages since you saw us," said Hel, looking very unamused, a hint of reproach in her voice.

"Hel!" Angrboda chastised her gently.

Loki wondered if he should apologise and give them some lame excuse for his lateness or just keep his mouth shut and try to change the subject. Before he could decide, however, Fenrir growled at his sister.

"You shouldn't talk to Daddy like that! You don't know anything about him or what he's been doing! I'm sure he has a very good reason for not coming to visit us earlier. He must've been very busy." The puppy turned back to Loki, grinning. "Isn't that right, Daddy?"

"Er, yes, right," said Loki.

"See?" Fenrir told Hel triumphantly. The girl flushed and ducked her head.

"I'm sorry, Father," she murmured contritely.

"Er..." Loki shifted uncomfortably. "That's all right, Hel, I –"

"Daddy!" Fenrir cut in happily. "I bet you have a lot of stories to tell us, don't you? Come on, tell us all about your adventures!"

"Of course, Fenrir..."

Angrboda grinned and clapped her hands. "Wonderful! I'll make you something to eat!"

oOo

For the rest of the evening, Loki told them many stories, both old and new, conveniently emphasising his own feats and wit and leaving out the parts he was less proud of. Occasionally, he would even make some alterations and additions to the story – just to make it more interesting for the children, of course (he was allowed some artistic licence, right?).

At least it accomplished the desired result; the awkwardness had dissipated and his three children all had their gazes fixed on him, captivated, their eyes filled with unmasked awe and wonder. Even Angrboda had been quietly listening and smiling as if proud of him. Loki shamelessly relished in the attention he was getting and soaked up all the admiration.

"And that's how I single-handedly saved all the gods in Asgard and made sure the sun and the moon stayed where they should be," he concluded the last tale, "with just my magic and quick thinking."

"Wow!" "Amazing!" "You're so clever, Father!"

"Oh, that was nothing," said Loki airily, polishing his nails on his coat. "All in a day's work, one might say."

"And what happened to the stallion that was chasing you?" asked Jormungand, who was coiled up at his feet, next to Hel. "How did you get rid of him?"

Loki paused and considered his next words. As matter of fact, he hadn't got rid of the stallion Svadilfari, but he wasn't about to tell them what exactly had happened when that beast had caught him up. Nor would he tell the result of such an encounter. It was not only embarrassing, but it would incite all kinds of uncomfortable questions, such as, "Where do babies come from?" It was bad enough that he'd admitted that he had transformed himself into a mare in order to distract Svadilfari. The children didn't need to know the details...

"I eventually turned back to my original form and he lost interest in me," he answered simply. That was close enough to the truth, he thought.

"Aah..." The children nodded in understanding.

"Now that you said it, that was the most obvious thing to do, really."

"Indeed," said Loki neutrally. On his lap, Fenrir began to wag his tail again.

"The gods must all consider you a hero!"

"Hmm, yes, something like that."

"Did they give you some kind of reward? Did they throw a party for you?"

Loki frowned slightly to himself. He wanted to say yes, but, for some reason, that felt awfully wrong. Omitting and exaggerating certain facts was one thing, but outright lying to his children, who held him in such high regard, gave him a very unpleasant feeling. This was new, and he didn't like it one bit. Even when he had lied to his wife Sigyn, he hadn't felt so wretched.

"Actually," he said reluctantly, "they didn't have the chance. I stayed away for a few months, because I had some important things to take care of."

"Ooh, what kind of things?" "Is that another exciting story? Tell us, please!"

"Now, now, children," Loki cut in with a forced grin. "It's very late and you should be in bed." At the trio's whining protests and pleas, he sighed and added, "Tell you what, how about we all go out for a stroll early tomorrow morning? Then we can spend the entire day together!"

Much to his relief, the three of them readily agreed. Then, the two youngest bade their parents good night and went to sleep. Fenrir, however, remained on his father's lap and patiently waited until his siblings were gone.

"Can I sleep with you, Daddy?" he beseeched. Even Loki couldn't resist those puppy eyes.

"Oh, all right," he said. "But you go ahead. I may take a while."

"Okay! Thanks, Daddy!" The little wolf leapt off Loki, said good night to his mother, and left.

Loki then finally allowed himself to collapse on the armchair in a rather ungainly fashion, covering his face with his hand and feeling drained. He uncovered his eyes and looked up when he heard a quiet laugh from Angrboda.

"For someone who claims to hate children, you're not such a bad father," she remarked.

He sat straight up again and cleared his throat, averting his gaze. Despite her serene smile and kind words, he knew she must be wondering why he had been gone for so long. From the moment they had met earlier today, he had seen the wistfulness in her eyes. She must be dying to know what I've been doing all this time, he thought.

Suddenly, he wished he hadn't sent the children to bed. Now that they were no longer present, would Angrboda interrogate and accuse him? He wasn't really in the mood to explain himself. Should he apologise? Should he make up some excuse or other? Or should he just pretend nothing was wrong and go to sleep before she had a chance to do anything?

The sound of steps and rustling caught his attention and he looked back at Angrboda, who had come to stand before him. They stared at each other for a long while, and Loki watched as her the wistfulness slowly receded from her dark eyes and her smile widened. Slowly, she bent over so she was at eye level with him and touched the side of his face.

"We missed you so much," she whispered, her face closer and closer. Loki forced himself to sit still and relax. "I'm just glad you're here now." She closed the distance between them, though, contrary to his expectations, she only gave him a chaste, light kiss on the forehead.

Surprised, Loki stared at her for a moment before he comprehended what she had meant. She wasn't angry at all. There would be no questions, no accusations, no arguments. All was forgiven and forgotten.

He gave her a genuine smile in return.

"Thank you," he whispered.

oOo

Loki deeply regretted his suggestion to go out for a stroll first thing in the morning. He had never been much of a morning person, and he should have guessed that his children would wake him just when the sun was barely above the horizon. He groaned and tried to ignore his children, who were screaming at the top of their lungs for him to wake up and jumping up and down on his bed as well as on his person.

"Come on, Daddy!" urged Fenrir, tugging at his father's sleeve with his teeth. His two siblings had long robbed Loki of his blanket and pillow, so that Loki couldn't even cover his ringing head any more.

"All right! I'm up! I'm up!" he finally announced in defeat.

After a very hurried breakfast and a quick farewell to Angrboda, he was practically dragged outside. Fenrir was the most excited of all, hopping and running in circles around Loki and yapping happily. By contrast, Hel just stood next to her father quietly, looking very shy. Loki smiled at her and offered his hand – he was careful to offer his left hand, so he would take her right, healthy hand. She squinted a little at him, smiled back, and took it. At last, he turned to look at the serpent who was a few feet behind them.

"Jormungand, do you want me to carry you on my shoulders?" he offered, but his youngest son politely declined. He shrugged. "Well, off we go, then!"

Shortly afterwards, it occurred to him that maybe this hadn't been one of his most brilliant ideas, after all, since whatever might have been watching him the previous day could still be out there. He was alert all the time and even warned his children to keep their eyes open for any suspicious creatures, especially ravens. They were puzzled by the request, but agreed to do his bidding without question.

However, he soon realised he could no longer feel any strange presence at all. The woods were neither too quiet nor crowded with the more unfriendly sorts of creatures, so they all began to relax.

"Let's find a nice spot where we can sit and talk," said Hel. "We can have lunch and even spend the rest of the afternoon there."

"What? Nooo, I don't want to stay in the same place four hours!" whined Fenrir. "Let's do something really fun, like – like hunting or... a game! Let's play something!"

"I don't like that!" retorted his sister. "I want Father to tell us more stories!"

"Hmm, looks like we need a tiebreaker," mused Loki. He favoured Hel's idea himself, since he disliked running and hunting (that was more Thor's thing, really), but he didn't have the heart to disappoint the poor puppy just like that. "What do you think, Jormungand?" he suddenly asked, looking back at his youngest son, who still kept himself behind the group for some reason.

"What? Me?!" Jormungand looked very dismayed at the sudden attention he was getting. He looked back and forth between his siblings, who were both giving him meaningful and mildly threatening looks. "Oh. Er. Whatever you choose to do is fine with me, Father..." he said evasively.

"Come on, I really wish to know your opinion," Loki insisted. "Perhaps you can give us a suggestion of your own?"

"Well..." Jormungand shifted uneasily, avoiding his siblings' eyes. "Actually, I was wondering... if you would ever take us to see Asgard, Father."

They stared at him. He squirmed, looking miserable.

"I'm sorry, that was a –"

"Great idea!" cut in Fenrir. "Ooh, Daddy, won't you take us to Asgard? I've never been there and I want to see what it's like!"

"Yes, Father, please!" Hel joined in. "You always tell us so much about it, and it sounds like a wonderful place."

"No," said Loki firmly. His children froze and stared at him in shock. Their father had never denied them anything with such seriousness.

"What? Why not?!" Fenrir wanted to know. "We promise we'll behave!"

"I can't take you to Asgard, and that's final," said Loki, frowning. Then, feeling he might have sounded too harsh, he added in a softer voice, "I'm sorry."

"But why can't you take us to Asgard?" Fenrir insisted.

"People there are not... used to giants, so to speak," Loki sighed. "They'd stare at you. You'd hate it."

"I don't mint that. We can just stare right back until they realise how rude they're being," replied Fenrir, unperturbed, although his two siblings suddenly looked very unenthusiastic at the prospect of being stared at by godly strangers.

"There's nothing special about Asgard, anyway," Loki continued, hoping to dissuade his stubborn son. "It's just like Jotunheim, when we come down to it."

"If you say so, Dad..." mumbled Fenrir. Fortunately, he let the subject drop and none of them mentioned it again.

It wasn't long before they found a nice, secluded spot in the form of a clearing. Loki was feeling quite hungry, which was only to be expected, considering his less than satisfactory breakfast. He had barely been able to eat anything at all before he was forced to leave.

"I guess we should've brought some food with us," said Fenrir, who was also a little hungry. Loki nodded and hummed in agreement. "I'd really rather walk around than lie here and starve," the wolf muttered to himself.

"I could go and pick some berries and mushrooms for us to eat," suggested Hel.

"Thank you, Hel, that'd be great," said Loki, smiling.

"Can I help you, Sister?" asked Jormungand.

"Of course!" she replied happily.

"While they do that," said Fenrir to his father, "why don't we continue our stroll? Who knows, we may even find something to hunt, and then you can make a fire so we can have a proper lunch!"

"Sure, why not?" replied Loki. "We'll meet in this same clearing in, say, one hour. All right? And, Hel, do be careful, okay? You, too, Jormungand."

"Yes, Father!" said the two of them in unison.

"Are you sure you can find your way back here?"

"Yes, Father, no problem!" said Jormungand.

"It's not the first time we venture in these woods by ourselves," said Hel. Loki frowned in apprehension, but nodded and let them go on their way.

oOo

It was almost time to go back to the clearing, and yet Loki and Fenrir had found nothing worth hunting. The little wolf was quite disappointed, both because he wouldn't get to show his father what a great hunter he was and because all they'd have for lunch was a handful of berries and mushrooms. Loki empathised with him on the second point and did his best to cheer him up about the hunting. There would be many other opportunities, he told Fenrir.

"You mean you're going to be living with us from now on?" Fenrir asked him, so full of hope that Loki had to look away before answering.

"No, I can't do that. But don't worry, I'll make sure to visit you much more often. I promise."

"I do hope so! You're so fun, Daddy!"

"Why, so are you, Fenrir."

Feeling contented, they both fell into a companionable silence as they made their way back to the clearing at a leisure pace. Yes, this wasn't so bad, after all, Loki thought. It was a nice break from those madmen he associated with in Asgard. He could get used to this... Perhaps he could even come to visit once a month or so?

"LOKI!"

He let out an exclamation of surprise and whirled around, his heart intent on breaking through his ribcage. Next to him, Fenrir, who had also had the daylights scared out of him, turned to look at whoever had called out and began to growl.

A brown-haired man about the same age as Loki was running towards them, brandishing a huge, impressive hammer and waving his free hand in the air. Loki was ready to summon his Laevateinn to defend himself against the alleged berserker, but when the man was close enough, he was able to recognise who it was and allowed himself to relax.

"It's just Thor," he sighed. He looked down at Fenrir and paled when it occurred to him that it would be very bad indeed if Thor found out what and who the wolf was. "Don't say a word, Fenrir," he whispered, barely moving his lips. Fenrir looked at him in confusion, but nodded in acquiescence.

"Hey, Loki!" Thor greeted him cheerfully as he came to a halt before his old friend.

"Hi, Thor," replied Loki, with a little less enthusiasm. "What are you doing here?" He glanced over his shoulder, hoping his two other children wouldn't show up while Thor was present. If they had heard his shout, which was very likely, considering he had shouted loudly enough to wake the dead, Loki hoped they would have the good sense to stay out of sight, at least.

"I'm on my way back to Asgard," answered Thor, resting his hammer, Mjolnir, on his shoulder. He tilted his head. "The question is, what are you doing here?"

"I'm on my way to Midgard," said Loki wryly. Next to him, Fenrir was eyeing Thor curiously, sniffing his legs and the air around him. Thor's attention was brought to the puppy.

"What's that?"

"A wolf puppy." Loki shrugged. "Must have got lost from its mother." Fenrir looked at him oddly at that. Loki gave him a meaningful look and nodded his head in Thor's direction as subtly as possible. Fortunately, Thor was too busy watching Fenrir to notice either gesture.

"Hmm, yeah. I hope it can find her soon. Anyway, what were you going to do in Midgard?" Thor asked Loki, quickly losing interest in Fenrir.

"Oh, nothing in particular. I was just bored."

"Well, then, why don't you come with me to Asgard? You can come over for dinner. I'm sure Sif won't mind. And if you're still bored, we can go back to Midgard later!"

"Umm..."

"Come on! If we hurry up, we may still get there in time for lunch!"

"I –" Loki began to protest, but Thor had already grabbed him by the arm and begun to drag him away.

Fenrir, who had sat down and watched the exchange quietly, got up and began to follow them. Loki looked back at him and held up his free hand for Fenrir to stop. He mouthed, "Don't follow us! Find your siblings," he gestured, "and go back home!" Fenrir didn't quite seem to understand any of it and opened his mouth to speak. Hurriedly, Loki brought a finger to his lips in a gesture of silence. Fenrir's mouth snapped shut. "I'll come back later!" said Loki in a stage whisper. His son nodded in understanding, but didn't look pleased at all with this turn of events.

"What was that, Loki?" Thor asked.

"Uh, I said, we'll go back later. To Midgard, that is."

"All right!"

oOo

As soon as Loki and his hammer-wielding companion were well out of sight, Hel and Jormungand came out from the bushes to join Fenrir, who was glaring in the direction the two men had gone.

"Who was that, Brother?" asked Jormungand.

"And where did Father go?" Hel wanted to know. She was holding the front part of her dress in a bundle of berries and mushrooms, some of which dropping to the ground.

"That was the god Thor," growled Fenrir. "And he's taking our dad to Asgard." He glanced at his brother and sister. "Dad told us to go home and that he'll come back later."

Hel pouted. "That's what he said last time. And look how long it took him to come back!"

"Yes, well, I'm sure he won't take as long this time," said Jormungand, trying to appease her. "I mean, he wouldn't just leave us here in the woods when he promised he would spend the entire day with us. Even if he can't make it today, certainly tomorrow, then..."

"I think something fishy is going on," said Fenrir brusquely. "Dad wanted this Thor guy to believe that I was some lost puppy he'd just found in the woods, and he didn't let me speak at all. I wonder why?"

"Now that you mention it, I did wonder why he refused to take us to Asgard," mused Jormungand.

"Maybe it's got something to do with why the took so long to visit us again," suggested Hel, who was still unable to let go of that particular issue.

"Maybe," conceded her younger brother, although their father's lateness didn't seem to have much important to him at all. "You know, I can't help but feel that he is keeping us as some sort of secret. It's like he doesn't want anyone to know we are related to him. Do you think –" He hesitated and coiled himself tightly, as he always did when he felt nervous. "Do you think he's ashamed of us?" he whispered.

Hel's eyes widened, disturbed as she was by the notion, but Fenrir only scoffed.

"Why would he be ashamed of us?" He thought about it for a second. "Well, you, maybe," he said, sneering. "You're just a stupid, useless snake, after all. I wouldn't want you as a son, either."

"That – that's not true!" protested his brother.

"But what's not to like about me?" Fenrir continued, ignoring him. "He loves me more than you, that much is obvious. That's why he hugs and pets me, even though he never touches you, and he lets me sleep on his bed, and he never feels uncomfortable when he's talking to me!"

Jormungand hissed and his lithe body shook with barely suppressed emotion. He uncoiled himself and reared up, looking like he was about to strike. Fenrir assumed a defensive position and growled.

"You're so mean, Brother!" yelled Jormungand, whipping his tail against a few mushrooms that Hel had unwittingly dropped next to him. The mushrooms were thrown up in the air and some of them hit the wolf in the head and muzzle. Fenrir yelped and winced, more out of surprise than anything. He looked up in time to see his little brother slithering into the bushes.

"Coward," he muttered.

"Poor Jormungand," whispered Hel to herself as she stared after him. Then, she turned to give her older brother a reproachful look. "That was very mean, Brother."

Fenrir scoffed, sitting back down and scratching his ear nonchalantly. "He'll get over it."

"You were never this cruel to him. And on top of that, you completely forgot about me. You think you're better than us, do you?"

"What?" Fenrir blinked and looked at her in alarm. He hadn't really been paying attention, but when her words caught up to him, he decided he didn't want another sibling to throw a fit. "Uh, no, not at all. I'm sure Dad loves you, too," he added, not managing to sound very convincing. Time to change the subject, he thought, shaking himself, "Listen, I'm going to go after Dad. Are you coming with me?"

Hel, who had angrily knelt down and begun to pick up the dropped mushrooms, looked up at him in shock. "What are you talking about? You can't do that, Brother!"

"What do you mean? Of course I can!"

"You said he's going to Asgard! You don't know the way, for one thing."

"No, but I can easily follow his scent."

"It doesn't matter. You're not allowed to go there, anyway."

"I'll keep myself out of his sight. He won't even know I'm there. So what's the harm?"

Hel's frown deepened and she folded her hands, which caused all the mushrooms to drop again. She didn't even notice it.

"We can't just leave without telling Mother," she said with an air of finality.

"If we tell her where we're going, she'll want to stop us," argued Fenrir. "Come on, Hel! Aren't you curious to see Asgard?"

"Of course I am, but..." She hesitated, casting a wistful look in the direction their father had disappeared with the god Thor. She turned around so her back was to Fenrir and bowed her head. "I don't want to be stared at," she muttered.

"No one will stare at you, Hel! And if they do, I'll bite them!"

Hel only shook her head adamantly.

"Fine," Fenrir sighed. "Suit yourself."

He turned around, sniffed the air and the ground, and ran off after his father, not once looking back.