Alo alo alo all!! And welcome to the most random fanfic I have ever written! This fanfic is about Akatsuki solely! Nothing else unless I decide otherwise later!

This story is simply (or rather totally) randomness and anything can happen. Rated T for cursing (Hidan of course…>.>) some yaoi and romance! If you have any random ideas please forward them to me through a message in my account or leave them in a review! Any idea is welcome as long as it's below the M rating! Thank you all!

Akatsuki Randomness and total OOCness! >:3

Akatsuki Randomness

Chapter One

Itachi's totally Awesome Easter Plan of Awesomeness!

"Itachi-san…are you sure this is a good idea…? Leader-sama may not appreciate it…."

"Silence Kisame. I know what I'm doing. He'll love it. Just put loads of sugar, loads of milk chocolate in it and then some blood even….yeah…that'll definitely make him come running…."

"Blood? Come running? Itachi-"

"SHUT UP KISAME!"

"This is necessary….it's key in my totally awesome Easter plan of awesomeness…." Itachi smirked as he thought about it.

"Well someone is cocky….great name for the plan by the way….Totally Awesome Easter Plain of Awesomeness….yeah…awe-"

"SHUT IT KISAME!!"

Itachi's expression was a mixture of anger and concentration as he carefully poured the sugar in the bowl and then the hot milk-chocolate on top of it. After mixing these two substances he pulled out a kunai and slit his wrist to draw out blood. It dripped slowly into the bowl but he only needed a little bit to bring a certain somebody running…

Kisame's eyes widened as he watched his partner, "Itachi! I didn't know you were emo! You should have told me! What's wrong? Are you depressed? Why-?"

"..." Itachi put down the bag of sugar making a loud bang on the table. Slowly, he turned around to face Kisame.

"……Itachi what're you-"

"Katon no jutsu!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

BANG!

"KISAME WHEN I TELL YOU TO SHUT UP YOU SHUT UP! God! I'm not emo! Stop acting like Tobi…."

"Right" Kisame's voice murmured from the floor, "….gomen…." His voice was weak as he lay strewn across the ground next to the fridge. Itachi's fire jutsu had hurt. His blue hair looked slightly burnt and he was certain he noticed smoke rising off the top of his head.

The Uchiha prodigy was left in peace for a few moments after he had knocked out Kisame. He stood there patiently waiting for enough blood to drop into the bowl. He could smell its scent in the air but he wasn't sure if it was strong enough. If everything went according to plan, Pain-sama would be out of it for the day and no one would have to work. I mean, c'mon, it was EASTER. You shouldn't work on Easter! The Jinchuuriki could wait for now. He couldn't imagine Naruto-kun doing anything but sitting at Ichiraku'seafuhsaufyauodfyauo Ramen shop for the whole day…

-Konoha-

The town was abnormally busy today; it being a Holy Day and all but Naruto's voice could be heard even through the bustling crowds.

"OH YEAH!! MORE RAMEN OLD MAN!!"

The old man chuckled at Naruto's excitement, "Naruto-kun, your eating habits will never change you know that?"

The young teen with sun kissed locks and sapphire blues eyes beamed, his grin going from one side of his face all the way to the other. "You better believe it old man! Ramen is the best!" he held his chopsticks high and once again began to wolf down yet another bowl of pork flavoured ramen. However, a sudden thought came to Naruto as he ate. What brought on the thought he couldn't put his finger on it.

Sakura, who was sitting beside him, could only smile at her team mate's attitude. Today, they had the day off from missions and she was intent on relaxing for the day. But being with Naruto isn't exactly relaxing, since his voice tends to be higher than everyone else in the whole Village and he moves around a lot more too. However her train of thoughts were interrupted by Naruto's sudden question:

"Umm, Sakura-chan?" the blonde began in a thoughtful voice.

Sakura tilted her head, "hai?"

"Did you ever get the impression that….maybe….Sasuke-kun is….emo?"

"BAKA!"

WHAM!

Naruto was sent hurdling off his seat and ten metres away into a wall. Locals around them scattered and they watched in trembling fear as the pink haired kunoichi hollered at the Kyuubi-kid from her seat at the Ramen shop.

"HOW COULD YOU THINK SASUKE-KUN IS EMO?? HE'S OUR TEAM MATE NARUTO-BAKA!!"

Naruto sat up and rubbed the back of his head. "I don't know! I just got this feeling you know?! That maybe….maybe…Itachi, his brother, was emo too….?"

"YOU IDIOT NARUTO!!"

"NANDE?? SAKURA-CHAN!! NO! PLEASE!! DON'T COME ANY CLOSER!! AHHHHHHHH!!"

Itachi sneezed. "Hmm….someone somewhere must be talking about me…."

"GOD!!"

"Nande?! Hidan?!"

The kitchen door was blown off his hinges and sent hurdling passed Itachi's face. Of course, the Uchiha was blind and he looked to the side towards the wall. "What….who's there?"

Hidan, clad in a white Akatsuki outfit (A/N: its Easter….Hidan is a holy person…even if he's not Christian…he has to be clad in white xD), a grin plastered on his face. "I thought I heard someone say God in here? Itachi-san, was that you? What-hey…." Hidan briefly sniffed the air, "I smell cooked fish….Itachi are you making dinner? I LOVE fish!"

Suddenly, the door banged behind Itachi (A/N: yes there's a back door in the kitchen) and the ebony haired Uchiha turned around curious. Then he turned back around and looked to where Kisame had been lying. Though he had weak eye-sight somehow he could tell what had happened. "Hmm….I think Kisame made a dash for it…."

Hidan's grin faltered, "you were going to EAT Kisame Itachi?! It's enough that Zetsu does it! Hey….why is there a cut on your wrist and a bloody kunai in your hand….? Itachi…are you EMO?!"

"…..Grrr…."

"Katon no jutsu!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

"Tobi is a good boy…..there's sure to be Easter eggs hidden around here somewhere….Deidara-sempai will be so happy when I bring back loads!"

Yes, that's correct; Tobi was outside HQ rambling around the forest looking for Easter eggs. How cuter could you get? Currently, said Akatsuki member was looking in all sorts of places. Jumping from tree to tree, shuffling through bush to bush, crawling from rock to rock on the ground. So far, he had found none. Tobi was beginning to lose faith.

"Hmm, Deidara–Sempai said the Easter Bunny leaves them all over the place….but I don't see any...damn….that bunny is really good at hiding them!"

Not a second passed and Tobi was prowling around again, picking up rocks and looking in logs. He was determined to find any type of egg….well….not a birds egg anyways….and certainly not a snakes….he had learned from Orochimaru that snakes were dangerous….very dangerous indeed….

Alas, his searching was to no avail. After another hour Tobi had still found no Easter eggs. "Ohhhh….Tobi can't find any! Deidara-sempai also did say they'd be very hard to find….but I didn't imagine this hard! Tobi is beginning to think Deidara-sempai lied to him!"

This thought floated around in Tobi's head for five minutes until he decided he was going to head back to HQ and question Deidara further on the whereabouts of the Easter Eggs. However, on his way back, Tobi stopped suddenly when a nearby bush suddenly moved. He looked to the side peeking out of the small eyehole in his orange coloured mask. The bush rustled again until Tobi's ears caught onto a small sound that sounded faintly like some sort of an animal. Tobi moved closer to inspect the bush but before he got close enough the animal jumped out.

Tobi rebounded and jumped away, "ahhh-! Huh?"

The animal landed on the trail only to reveal itself as a small, white bunny-rabbit. It looked up at the Akatsuki member with big, round amber eyes.

Tobi was silent for a moment, pondering…..pondering….then….

"Oh my God…." Tobi's eyes widened immensely behind his mask, "…..IT'S THE EASTER BUNNY!!"

Pain and Konan walked silently through a dark hallway speaking of nothing in particular, they were currently on their way to a meeting with the other Akatsuki members, little did they know those members weren't exactly going to be there. It was all part of the Blind Uchiha Itachi's miraculous and smart plan. Today, there would be no work, it was Easter, Easter equals relaxation. Both members eventually came to a door and Pain grabbed the knob, pushing it he went through only to get a surprise attack. Everyone succumbed to this amazing jutsu; none could avoid it because of its total awesomeness.

The bucket fell.

PLOP!

"…..Pain-sama?" Konan sounded from behind her Master, her blue eyes widened at the sight before her. Inwardly she was laughing however….Pain could sense it. He also heard the faint sound of laughter coming from the kitchen.

The Leader stood there for minutes in complete and utter fury, milk chocolate plastered all over his form and a blue bucket crowned upon his orange, spikey hair. His fists curled into balls and he stood erect with the intent to kill. "What….the hell…." He spoke silently, closed his eyes and a vain popped out of his head…then…

"IS THIS?? WHY AM I COVERED IN CRAP??" he sniffed the substance slightly and recoiled, "AND WHY DO I GET THE FAINT SCENT OF BLOOD?? ITACHI!! WERE YOU SLITTING YOUR WRISTS??"

Pain picked up the faint sound of the angered Uchiha's voice, "FOR THE LAST TIME, I. AM. NOT. EMO. GOD DAMN YOU ALL!!"

Then Hidan's voice, "I AM GOD!! AHAHAHA!! PRAISE PHIL COLLINS!!"

Pain caught the sound of Kisame's confused voice.

"Dude….Phil Collins…?"

Konan stifled a laugh in her throat and spoke in her usual emotionless tone, "I'll go get you a towel of some kind Leader-sama." She disappeared the way they came and Pain's mouth became a solid frown when he heard her burst into laughter down the hallway.

Pain growled and proceeded to attempt to wipe the gunk off of his form, the blood's scent wasn't very appealing. However, he suddenly sensed a presence behind him. Looking around Pain saw nothing but only thin air. "Hmm….I thought…." He shook it off and went back to trying to wipe the chocolate off, however it wasn't going so well.

Suddenly, for no absolute reason Pain heard the faint sound of JAWS music coming from the kitchen…..JAWS music? Then, he felt that presence again….and of course, once again, he looked around to see…..

Nothing…

What was going on…?

However…his question was soon answered.

Behind him, a large figure surfaced from the ground and loomed over him. Its eyes glowing white against its shadowy figure….white eyes of death…

The JAWS music grew louder and louder until it was near the end where the shark devoured its prey. Pain suddenly got the shivers up his spine. His eyes widened and he slowly looked around. But it was too late.

"…ZETSU??"

"HEHEHEH……I SMELL BLOOD…."

"WHAT ARE YOU-?! WAIT-! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Elsewhere, inside the kitchen sitting at the table to be exact, Hidan and Kisame were grinning from ear to ear, sniggering. "Nice work Itachi," Kisame complimented his partner who sat staring into space, "I think Zetsu will keep Pain-Same busy for the day while we relax….."

Itachi sat there motionless for about one minute staring at nothing through his black spectacles. Suddenly he raised his eyebrows and looked at Kisame, "what? Did it work? I thought that scream was from Deidara trying to blow up Tobi again…."

Both Hidan and Kisame sighed and sweat dropped.

"You're cheating Kakazu…."

"What?! No I'm not!"

"…..then why is there an Ace up your sleeve….?

"HA!! FULL HOUSE!! I WIN!!" Kakazu slapped his hand down on the table, grabbed the money and other various shinobi necessities (these included kunai, collectable trading cards etc…) and galloped off leaving the red-head puppet Master Sasori sitting at the table gazing after him. He furrowed his brow and abruptly stood up from the table; the chair flying backwards. "KAKAZU YOU BASTARD!! COME BACK HERE WITH MY MONEY!!" Sasori took a quick glance at the cards Kakazu had just laid down and his eyes widened in fury. That wasn't a full house! That was a merely pathetic, average hand!

"KAKUZU YOU ASSHOLE!!"

"Sasori no Danna….what are you doing, un?"

Deidara had appeared and it seemed as if he has just gotten up because the blonde looked like he could fall over any second now. The truth was, the blonde has spent the night very busy….I shall not go into details….

Sasori stopped yelling and looking emotionless. Arching an eyebrow he blurted out in Deidara's face: "KAKUZU STOLE MY MONEY DAMN IT!!"

Deidara's blonde side-fringe blew slightly in Sasori's angry wind from his mouth. The Explosive Expert blinked and then woke up slightly, "he always does that un….how much did he steal, un?"

Sasori twitched, "five hundred damn dollars….."

Deidara blinked, "huh…why American money eh? I thought this was a Japanese show, un?"

"This is a show? An Anime?"

"Yeah…un…"

"Damn….I never knew…."

"Yeah well now you know, un…."

Sasori's brows furrowed and he looked to his fellow Akatsuki member again, "hmm….and did I…?"

"Yeah….you died…..un."

"Damn….but I guess thanks to this kid's Plot no jutsu I'm back alive?" (A/N: Sasori is referring to me bringing him back to life for this story. xD)

Deidara sighed, "yeah pretty much, un. Hey….has Tobi come back from his Easter Egg hunt yet, un?"

Sasori shook his head and started gathering up the cards, "no, haven't seen him."

Deidara chuckled in delight, "haha, guess my telling him the Easter Bunny really exists actually worked. Now he's out there in the forest on his Easter Egg hunt, un."

Sasori's eyes widened, "wait…."

Deidara blinked. "Huh…?"

Sasori jumped up and the cards flew from his hands scattering everywhere, he grabbed Deidara by the shoulders and started shaking him wildly about, "ARE YOU TELLING ME THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS THE EASTER BUNNY??"

Inside Deidara's head thoughts collided together and he started seeing stars from the dizziness, "ugh…..yeah….un…."

Unexpectedly, the puppet master stopped shaking Deidara and looked away, he left go of his blue eyed partner who, in turn of course, buckled to the floor still dizzy, "Un….."

Sasori grasped at his red hair pulling it in every direction, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Eventually, after much yelling on Sasori's behalf and Deidara's moaning the explosive expert picked himself up from the floor and watched as Sasori jumped about the place denying the fact his child-hood dreams had been crushed. "Get over it, un," Deidara muttered but the scene was shattered as Tobi's voice rang through-out HQ.

"DEIDARA-SEMPAI!! I FOUND THE EASTER BUNNY!!"

Deidara twitched.

Sasori turned around blinking, a blank expression on his face.

Tobi stood at the entrance holding a small white animal high above his head in triumph. A rabbit….A plain, white rabbit….

Deidara narrowed his blue eyes and twitched again before roaring at Tobi, "TOBI YOU STUPID IDIOT, UN!!" He rushed towards Tobi intent on killing him once and for all. "TOBI I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!"

"No! Sempai! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!! AHHHHHHHH!!"

Back in the living room Hidan lay stretched across the couch with the T.V remote in hand, Kisame sat beside him. They were watching a cooking show….how to cook splendid Salmon….Kisame wasn't exactly happy about this but Hidan was enthralled in the program….another thing Kisame wasn't happy about….

Itachi sat in a separate chair staring away from the T.V. Suddenly, he heard a faint sound. "Hey, did you guys just hear Tobi's scream of certain death and then one for help?"

Hidan and Kisame looked at him, shrugged and then looked back at the T.V screen.

"Nah…"

I only proof-read this once…. please excuse if anything is out of order, thank you. DX

Special thanks go to Deidara and his fellow Akatsuki members for giving me ideas for the next chapters to come! They rock and are totally awesome! x3

I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST AKATSUKI!! I ACTUALLY LOVE THEM!! Deidara and Tobi I love! Itachi totally ROCKS! Kisame ROCKS as well! And I love Sasuke as well! I've just seen Sasuke and the word emo in so many places on the internet. I myself don't see him, or his brother, to be emo what so ever. xD I think I had every Akatsuki member in there right….? xD anyways, loved it, hated it? Please review! Cookies for all! (Yes…chocolate chip. xD)