A/N: Compy wanted Ryuuk/Raito crack. I coughed some up.

Just 'cause she dances go-go

It don't make her a ho, no…

Ryuuk shook himself in a provocative fashion around Raito's bed, the music blasting from the radio at the time. It was close to the midnight and Raito had spent the last five hours writing in the Death Note and doing advanced Calculus. He was in no mood.

"Ryuuk…" he ground out, shifting under his bedcovers.

"We gonna elope to Mexico… Call up my momma say I'm in love with a stripper, yo," Ryuuk enthusiastically sang in his hoarse voice.

"Ryuuk, it's very late. Please turn off that music."

"Humans sure can sing, Raito," Ryuuk said. "In the Shinigami Realm, no one can sing like this."

"That's a shame. But please-"

"Hey, Raito, what's a ho?"

"It's short for hooker. Now-"

"What's a hooker?"

"A person who gives away sex for money."

"Do they give it for apples too?"

"… I don't know, Ryuuk." Raito sighed, rolling over.

Ryuuk shrugged and continued to dance around the bed, trying to mimic a dance he'd seen a scantily dressed woman do on some channel called BET. He looked down at Raito who was glaring at him.

"Do you like my dance, Raito?"

Raito refused to answer.

"Maybe I should pursue a career."

"If only people could see you, it might work out," Raito said, rolling his eyes.

"So I am good?"

"… Sure."

"I like this song, Raito."

"I know."

"But I'll turn it off so you can sleep."

"Thank you."

Ryuuk turned off the radio and Raito sighed happily, turning over and snuggling down into the sheets. It was quiet then and Ryuuk floated over the bed as per usual, watching Raito trying to sleep.

"Raito?"

"… Yeah."

"Can we go visit a ho tomorrow?"

"Sure."

"Really?"

"No."

A/N: Aw yeah.