A/N: This takes place sometime in the second book, so George knows about Alanna and is properly in love with her. I worked his feelings into the dialogue, so there's a lot of subtext — see if you can find it!

Pork

Alanna stalked out of the Rogues closet and kicked the secret door in the wall closed behind her. George raised an eyebrow, knife dangling from one hand.

"Lass, you know you shouldn't use that one. Some secret entrances are supposed to remain secret." Alanna closed the closet and turned back to him.

"I only use it on occasion!" she defended. George grinned.

"On the occasion that you're trying to escape from those noble friends of ours. Glad a King's company is still held in such high regard, even with such pretty companions." Alanna opened her mouth to retort, but George's finger over her lips silenced her for a moment. "So why are you hiding today?"

"I'm not — "

George waved a hand. "Fine, not runnin'" She glared, then sighed and plopped down on his bed.

"George, you know where everything worth anything is, right? Jewels, livestock, goods..."

"Going to take up thievery lass? Leave that silly race for knighthood behind?" He lay down, head resting near her hip, hazel eyes twinkling with mirth and wistfullness. Alanna scowled.

"No! I'm not crooked like you, George."

"Yet you're my friend, poppin' outa my closet an' sitten' on my bed." She was silent for a moment. Then she spoke.

"That aside." firmly, but quick and high.

"That aside." gently.

Alanna took a deep breath and stood, looking down and the man sprawled on the bed seriously.

"I need you to find me the cleanest pig in the city."

George appraised her for a moment, then burst into fits of laughter. Alanna turned bright red and glared at him.

Finally the Rogue quieted and asked in a choked voice, "Pray tell me lass, before I partake in the craziest of searches, what in the names of the Gods has driven you to ask my Kingly help in searching for this mysterious thing you call a 'clean pig'?"

"Remember the bet I lost with Jon? Well just now he decided my punishment. I have to kiss a pig."

George fell back into peals of laughter. Alanna, bright red with embarrassment, swung a fist at him, which he blocked with his eyes closed, still doubled over.

"I am never betting against Jonathon again!"

"He's a slick one," George drawled.

Finally he wiped his eyes and sat up.

"So, when do you need this pig lass?"

"By market day, three days from now," she informed him, still scarlet. He groaned.

"If this doesn't show my devotion to you, I don't know what will," he said, pulling on his cloak.

In the end, Alanna of Trebond planted a kiss on the most squeaky-clean pig in all of Corus.

A/N: I've written so much for the Tortall books, yet this is the only one I've ever put up. Odd... Review please!!