rinse and repeat
by: ohwhatsherface
For Annie: HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I had to post it early. I'm not gonna get computer time this week. Better early, than late, right?
prompt: lavender—and, sorry it didn't turn out so ItaSaku, and uh, Itachi seems like a maniac
crack
It was on.
She was going down!
He was going to so come out on top when this was all over.
See, it had all started around the time that his Foolish Little Brother had begun to let his girlfriend sleep over from time to time.
He didn't want to even think about what they might have been doing, but the point was that they did something, and then she slept over, and in the mornings, before going to school or back to her dorm or wherever the hell the Evil Conniving LittleGirl was going, she would take a shower.
At his house!
In his bathroom!
Using his shampoo!
(Don't even get him started on the conditioner!)
His Lavender-Scented Shampoo that made his hair silky and shiny and smell damn freaking good!
How dare she?!
The first time she had used some of the goods, Itachi had let it slide, because he was an Uchiha and Uchiha did not blow up about silly little matters such as Evil Conniving Little Girls using their oh-so amazing Lavender-Scented Shampoo.
But then she did it again.
And again!
And again!
Over and over again, for a whole month Itachi found himself buying his Lavender-Scented Shampoo more often than usual because the Evil Conniving Little Girl continued to use it!
His Shampoo!
(Who the hell did she think she was?!)
So it was on the fateful day of March 26 that Itachi decided to take a stand.
No longer would he continue to let the Evil Conniving Little Girl use his Lavender-Scented Shampoo.
From outside the bathroom door where Itachi could hear the shower running, he sneered furiously. The damn bitch was most likely in the middle of popping open the clear plastic bottle of shampoo and squeezing some of the lavender goodness into her hand to use on her unworthy hair.
With his mind set on Avenging his previously finished bottles of Lavender-Scented Shampoo, Itachi barged into the bathroom.
And all hell broke loose.
"OH MY GOD! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?! GET OUT! GET OUT! SASUKE-KUN!"
Itachi glared hatefully at the pink-haired girl who with one hand, was holding the white shower curtain in front of her body, and in the other, was holding the bottle of Lavender-Scented Shampoo.
At the sight of his precious hair care product, Itachi bared his teeth at her scornfully, and stepped in closer to grab it, slamming the bathroom door behind him.
He had timed his revenge perfectly.
Sasuke was out for his morning run, at the moment, which usually had him gone for about an hour or so, therefore Itachi had exactly thirty-four minutes and eighteen seconds left to unleash his fury over his fallen shampoo.
"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Sakura hissed, shivering when the cold air made contact with her wet skin. "Sasu—"
"My brother can't save you now," Itachi growled.
His hand shot forward, and Sakura recoiled back against the tiled-wall fearfully, only to find Itachi grabbing…
The shampoo bottle.
She slowly opened the eyes she didn't noticed she shut only to see him cradling the bottle, turning it around as if to check if she did anything to break it.
Sakura took a deep breath to try to calm down.
Seriously.
Seriously?
Did Itachi – her boyfriend's hot older brother – just barge in on her while she was in the shower?! To grab away a bottle of amazing Lavender-Scented Shampoo that made one's hair silky and shiny and smell damn freaking good?!
Sakura shook her head before staring at Itachi incredulously.
"What the fuck is your problem—"
"You!" he all but yelled. "How dare you use my Lavender-Scented Shampoo, you little brat?!"
Something in her bristled at being called a brat.
"What the hell?!"
Sakura reached out to grab a towel and then wrapped the white cloth around her wet body so that her arms would be free when she began her tirade. After making sure that it wouldn't fall, she stepped out of the now off shower and poked Itachi harshly in the chest.
"You're kidding me, right?!" she asked sarcastically. "You seriously barged in on me when I was taking a shower over freaking shampoo?!"
His nostrils flared and scowled at her.
"Lavender-Scented Shampoo!" he corrected with a huff. "You… You took things too far!"
Sakura's hands twitched.
"How did I take things too far?!"
"It was one thing to use it once," Itachi muttered. "But then you get using it over and over again! Fucking no, bitch! It's mine!"
She stopped talking and closed her eyes for a moment to count to ten.
"Now…"
Itachi's smooth voice broke Sakura away from her counting as she watched him reach into his back pocket and take something out.
The older Uchiha smirked sadistically when he saw the Evil Conniving Little Girl gasp and her pretty green eyes widen, glazed over with fear and shock.
"No!" she huffed out as she stared at him, now ten times angrier.
"Yes."
Itachi's grin widened when her jaw clenched at him but she help in whatever she may have wanted to say for the sake of—
"Baby!" she shrieked miserably, longingly looking at her baby pink Blackberry Pearl, being held in Itachi's spare hand, right over the toilet bowl. "You monster!" Sakura yelled with as much dignity as she could, considering the entire situation. She wanted to leap onto him and pummel his sorry ass and grab her precious Baby, but she was naked – well, in a towel… – and Itachi – Sasuke's brother – was there and—and…
"Give me the conditioner."
Sakura blinked stupidly.
"Huh?"
Itachi rolled his eyes and dangled the phone over the toilet with his thumb and index finger threateningly.
"Give me the conditioner," he repeated. "Give me the Lavender-Scented Conditioner and I will give you your stupid Blackberry."
Sakura gawked at him, thoroughly offended.
"It's not stupid. Your face is stupid!" Sakura snarled. "Your hair is stupid!"
He almost dropped his jaw at her statement.
"Yeah, that's right!" the Evil Conniving Little Girl said. "I went there!"
Itachi then dropped the Blackberry in the toilet and hit the flush.
And all hell broke lose once again.
"YOU BASTARD! I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU WENT THERE! HOW DARE YOU FLUSH MY BABY DOWN THE TOILET?! IT IS SO ON NOW!"
It was a few minutes after he flushed the Blackberry when she started to cry in the midst of punching him in the head, Itachi felt something twist in his gut.
This is why I can't stand girls…
"Don't cry," he ordered weakly.
He took extreme issue with crying girls. They made everything awkward.
She sniffled and then lowered her arms to glare at him. She looked stupid with the soaked towel wrapped around her body, and her hair wet and tangled. Her eyes were watery – and not from her bath – and her bottom lip was trembling.
Great. She's gonna bitch to Sasuke, and then he's gonna bitch to me.
Itachi sighed and then eyed his half-empty bottle of Lavender-Scented Shampoo wearily.
"Look…"
He pursed his lips.
"I'll let you use the shampoo, just don't cry!"
Sakura suddenly lit up at that, her lips visibly pulling into a smile.
"Really?" she said. "And the conditioner?"
Itachi looked pained.
"A—And… And the conditioner…"
Her jade eyes glinted slyly.
"And you'll get me a new Blackberry?"
"YOU FLUSHED MY BABY DOWN THE TOILET AND WALKED IN ON ME WHEN I WAS BATHING. EXPECT NO MERCY AND ACCEPT YOUR DOOM, BITCH!"
And when Itachi finished bargaining with the Evil Conniving Little Girl, he found himself coming out of the battle with nothing, if not even less.
Itachi slammed the bathroom door shut and stared at it hatefully.
Despite the running water, he could hear her popping open the bottle and most likely squeezing out his shampoo…
He glared at the door harder.
That Evil Conniving Little Girl…
Ugh.
fin