Chapter 8
I've been standing in this bathroom for 2 minutes and 36 seconds now. Still wondering what I should do. And I can't believe it's taken me this long to figure it out. I can't believe Peyton's in love with me. I need to talk to her. I exit the bathroom and head back out to the quad where I see Nathan and Haley sitting at the table.
"where's Peyton?" I ask out of breath.
"she went home, why?" Haley asks.
"I-I just need to talk to her about… something" I doubt they even know about it.
"I don't know if that's such a good idea" Haley says.
"what's that supposed to mean?" it seems I've been saying this line a lot.
"it means Peyton's my friend, I don't want her getting hurt, and she's been through a lot especially with you and Brooke…" It's at this moment I realize something.
"She knew about me and Brooke didn't she? Before I told her everything, she knew I was sleeping with Brooke"
"…why do you think she chose you over Brooke?" Haley asks me hypothetically, and I don't give an answer, instead I rush off towards my car. I really have to talk to Peyton now.
I get in my car and drive away not even caring that I have classes later this afternoon. I make it to Peyton's house and go inside not even bothering to knock on the door. It's not like she'd answer anyways. I quickly run up the stairs and peek my head inside her room. She's on the bed lying down, and sniffling. Well she's probably crying but I can't see her face.
"hey blondie" I say entering the room. I see her quickly jolt up and rub furiously at her face to get the tears to go away. I see her eyes are a little red, and teary and the rest of her face is wet. She must think I'm stupid or blind, or both.
"hey! How'd it go with Brooke?" she asks with a smile, but I know it's fake.
"pretty good actually, we got to talking and-"
"-Rachel, can I tell you something?" is this what I think it is?
"of course"
Just as she's about to say whatever she planned on saying her cell phone starts ringing. She looks down at the screen and it must be someone important.
"hold on" she says getting up from the bed and just walking outside of the door. "hey Hales" she answers the phone. "…yeah she's here" Haley's probably telling her about the conversation we had no more than 10 minutes ago. I look around the room to stop myself from eavesdropping on their conversation and my eyes fall back to the familiar folder that Peyton told me to stay out of.
I wonder what's in it. I know she keeps her drawings in there. It's so tempting. But I mustn't. But I have to. I let my curiosity get the better of me and I quickly open the folder. I flip through the first couple of pages seeing a bunch of unfinished sketches. All of them of the same thing, each time progressing more and more towards completion.
The first one is of a girl, in black and white, only showing her back to the artist. The next one is of the same girl facing another girl, with no face. The next one is of the same girl facing a girl, with dark hair and a face like Brooke's. The next one is a sketch of a red head facing the girl who looks like Brooke. It's obvious it's me.
I finally get to the last one and it looks like it's finished. It's a red head, most likely me, holding Brooke's hand, but in this sketch - and only this sketch - I see a girl in the background behind Brooke.
It's Peyton.
The words at the bottom of the page say it all. 'why not me?' is etched into the page. It confirms it all. She really does love me. I just don't understand how I couldn't have seen it all before. And you know what? I think I love her back. I mean with Brooke it was great, the sex and all, but Peyton… I actually had fun with Peyton. Going to the beach, getting ice cream down on the Pierre, it was so different from what I would do with Brooke. It was so much better.
"I guess it's too late to stop you from looking at my sketches" I hear Peyton's voice from behind me. I close the folder and turn around.
"what did you want to talk about?" I ask, changing the subject. Not showing her any emotion or reaction to her sketches.
"right. It's just… you can't interrupt, it's… it's pretty important." I just nod and she takes it as her cue to continue. "okay, well being your 'girlfriend' has been great, and I'm really glad we're friends and all, but there's something I just kind of have to say before you say anything else" she says. I see her hands are starting to shake so I grab a hold of them and hold them down.
"calm down Peyton" she gives me a small smile and continues.
"okay, look, the passed few days have been great, it's been a long time since I've had that much fun. And see the thing is, I just… don't want it to end. Rachel, there's a lot of stuff I love about you, like the way you, and only you, have the same taste in music as me, or the fact that you still think I look hot even though I dress in grungy clothes, or how you don't care that I'm an emo cheerleader, but think I'm fun anyways. I love how you think Ice cream solves all relationship problems, and how you're not afraid to be who you are. You're so confident and I just wish I was as strong as you"
"you are Peyton, you are so strong" I coax her. But she puts a finger up to stop me from talking. I can see more tears start to form in her eyes.
"Rachel, I love all of these things about you and more. I could go on for days just listing these things, but the bottom line is… that I love you. And I know you love Brooke and you're still hung up on her and everything, but I just had to say it."
She doesn't even bother to look up at me, fearing what I might say with my eyes.
"Peyton…" I try but she doesn't look at me. I grab her head with both hands and force her eyes to look at mine. I wipe away the tears with my thumbs as she tries to smile through it, but is having a really hard time. I don't bother saying anything as I just let my lips do the talking. I lean forward and press my lips to hers, soon enough she's pressing back and we're making out.
I pull back for air, and her eyes slowly flutter open.
"… I'm just sorry I didn't see it sooner" I say, not letting her head go. "Peyton, you've done so much for me, even though this entire time all I could talk about was being in love with Brooke. But I couldn't see what was in front of my eyes the whole time, and that's you. Peyton you are so wonderful. Brooke will always be that dream I'm chasing, but you're the reality I need. Peyton, you're the one I want."
She lets out a small laugh as more tears come down. "are you sure?"
I give her a little smile back as I nod my head. "I'm sure" I say right before I lean in for another kiss. We fall back onto her bed, with her arms around me and lips attached to mine.
Here we lay, together and happy.
The End.
Okay, so there it is, I basically only put this up right now because I got a private message. So I hoped you all like it. The ending wasn't what I expected it to be, but the thing I was going for was that it all came in a full circle, how in the beginning Rachel was lying with Brooke, but in the end she was lying with Peyton.
- GraydonGirl