A Note From Ben: We came up with this idea almost immediately after finishing Raisins Boy, but we've been putting it off for quite some time. Now, there are an ungodly number of amnesia stories in the works, and we briefly considered shelving this again. The thing is, we're not going to. We're going to push forward, and if you think it's more of the "same old thing", why you're welcome to walk away. That'll be your loss, though, because one thing we can assure you of: this will not be more of the "same old thing".

Disclaimer: We don't own South Park. Never have, never will.

Remembering Stan
By Ben Barrett and Flabz

Prologue – A Dark and Stormy Night

We begin this story on a dark and stormy night. Ah, yes.You've heard that one before, haven't you? Nearly every spooky story you hear as a child starts with a phrase very similar to that one.Usually it involves a person or a group of people in a place they shouldn't be, such as in an abandoned house or walking through the woods. Well, this one is no exception, for as the blackness clears from our vision and our imaginations begin to put the scene together, we can see two boys in the one place they shouldn't be: three stories above the ground on the roof of a big green house.

We can't really make them out too well, as we are on the ground and there is very little light anywhere. There is a boy standing next to us. A quick glance at him shows us that it is Stan Marsh, a boy of about fourteen years. He's wearing a red poof ball hat that has been completely soaked by the rain, and he's staring up at the spectacle above with a look of great concern on his face. He wants to help at least one of the people up there, though he obviously can't. You may be asking yourself why he doesn't just go through the house, climb up, and lend a hand, and it would be best if you kept that question to yourself. After all, this boy is not stupid by any means, and asking him such a thing just might piss him off. If he could be up there, he most certainly would be, so it's safe to assume that he's locked out.

We ascend into the air and leave the boy behind. Oh, don't worry about him. He'll be okay. He's a strong kid. Besides, we have a lot more to see. After all, if we really want to know what's going on, we're going to have to get a little closer to action.

As soon as we clear the roof, we can easily piece a few things together. Eric Theodore Cartman, a tubby child who has been disliked by anyone who ever met him, is advancing slowly on another boy with a knife. The second boy, Kyle Broflovski, is backing slowly away, and we can see the fear in his eyes; he's running out of room to run.

"It's the end of the road, Jew," Cartman says. "There's no place left for you to go."

"Cartman!" Kyle shouts back. "This is so stupid! I mean really!"

The thunder booms loudly over our heads, and a streak of lightning comes tearing down dangerously close to our current position. Obviously, this isn't the best place to be standing on any day, but it is especially dangerous now with the weather being what it is.

"It's not stupid!" Cartman yells back when the sound stops reverberating in our ears. "I've spent years and years of going at it with you, trying to get rid of your sorry Jew ass, dealing with you day in and day out. It all comes down to this."

He flashes a wicked smile that could make even the most hardened criminal shudder. This boy, despite his age, is obviously not someone you want to cross. That smile tells not only of the atrocities he's committed, but also of the wickedness that still lies in his future. This is the kind of person who would feed you your own parents if he got the chance, and then revel in the sorrow he caused.

"So you backed me against the edge on your roof in the rain!" Kyle challenges with a bravado that we can see right through. He's scared to death right now, because he knows that Cartman is just crazy enough to kill him. "Do you really think I'll stand here and be stabbed by you, when I can just jump to safety?"

Cartman throws back his head and laughs at this in a very stereotypical super villain manner. He's getting a lot of pleasure out of this.

"Jump to safety?" he chuckles. "Go ahead then. Jump off the roof and give me the pleasure of watching you splatter against the ground. It may even be more satisfying than stabbing you. Regardless, Kahl, only one of us is going to make it off this roof alive."

Kyle looks quickly over his shoulder and the realization quickly dawns on his face that Cartman is absolutely right. Jumping would be suicide. There is only one sane way off the roof, and the asshole with knife is blocking it.

"Dude you've had plenty of chances to kill me!" Kyle shouts. "Do you really think you're gonna actually do it now?"

Cartman moves forward with a sadistic gleam in his eye.

"Yes, Kahl," he hisses, "I'm actually going to do it now."

Kyle takes a step back and nearly steps off the roof entirely. He actually loses his balance for a second and waves his arms furiously, trying to keep himself from falling. Cartman sees this and stops to watch, quite pleased that things are going so smoothly.

"Kyle!" Stan screams fearfully from the ground. A quick look downward and we see him right at the edge of the house, bouncing anxiously from foot to foot. Being completely unable to help his friend is obviously taking its toll on him.

"Your boyfriend gets to watch you die," we hear Cartman hiss. We turn back around and see that Kyle has managed to regain his balance, though just barely. "That makes this SO much sweeter."

"Number one," the other boy snarls, trying to get away from the edge without coming within range of the knife, "he's not my boyfriend; he's my best friend. Number two, I'm not gonna die."

"I don't give a shit what he is to you," Cartman snarls, moving closer. He's nearly within striking distance now. "I only care that he can't get up here to help you. All he can do is stand down there and watch. Isn't it nice, Kahl? Isn't it the best?"

Kyle can't move now, despite his obvious desire to do so. His eyes dart quickly to the television antenna, and it isn't hard to tell what he's thinking. He's debating whether it would be worth it to climb up there, where Cartman would not be able to follow him no matter what. He'd be a sitting duck if any more lightning bolts happen to come this way, but it's highly doubtful that he cares anymore. He'll die if he climbs up there, he'll die if he jumps, and he'll die if he stays put; choices, choices.

"You're fucking psycho, Cartman!" he screams.

He begins inching toward the antenna, which is on the far downward slope of the roof. If he's going to get there, he's going to have to make his way along with gravity and the weather working against him. The odds are not in his favor.

"Kyle, don't do it!" we hear Stan shout from below. He has circled the house and is in position to make an attempt at catching Kyle if anything should happen to him. "You'll fall! Please!"

The redhead looks down at his friend on the ground, and then stops. He gives Cartman a desperate look and holds up his hands in defeat.

"Okay, Cartman," he says. "I give up already."

No response. Cartman just keeps grinning.

"Come on! This isn't funny!" Kyle says, trying to reason with him.

"Funny?" Cartman says joyfully. "In another two minutes, there will be one less Jew in this world, and one less pain in my ass, and the best part is there's no way you can weasel your way out of it this time. That's more than funny, Kahl. That's fucking hilarious!"

"D-dude... come on... don't do this man."

"If I don't," Cartman continues, relentlessly, "we'll just end up back nyah again. In the end, it WILL come down to either you or me. It's inevitable, Kahl."

"Cartman!" we hear Stan shout from below. "Remember San Francisco! Remember how miserable you were without him! You NEED Kyle!"

If you happen to be confused by that statement, it's perfectly understandable. Not everyone has been with the boys through all of their ordeals. For those of you who may be "out of the know", there was a point in Kyle's life, many years before any of this, in which he was forced to live in San Francisco. When it was realized that the smug attitude of the city was going to cause it to disappear up its own asshole, Cartman risked his own life to get Kyle out and bring him back to South Park. He had realized through the whole experience that Kyle was the yin to his yang, the black to his white, and that he needed him around to give him a purpose.Apparently, by this point in time, Kyle has either outlived that purpose or Cartman just doesn't care anymore.

"Hmmph," Cartman snorts at Stan's words.

"Y-yeah dude." Kyle says unsurely. He knows nothing about Cartman saving his life, because Cartman ordered the one person who knew, Butters, to keep his mouth shut. "I….I mean without me... who will you rip on? Who will take it all...?"

The other appears to think about this for a minute, and it looks as though he's actually reconsidering.Might this tub of psychotic guts have a conscience after all? Could it be that there's still a slight glimmer of humanity left somewhere in there?

"No!" he shouts, shaking this off and proving that none of that is so. "It's another one of your Jewtricks! I won't fall for it! This ends NOW!"

He suddenly rushes forward with the knife and we zoom out into the air to get a better view of everything that happens. Sadly, we are but silent spectators, and we can do nothing to help, despite how grisly this is obviously going to get.

"Kyle!" Stan shouts frantically. He's beginning to lose control. "KYLE!"

"Goodbye, Jew!" Cartman bellows.

Kyle backs up instinctively and in doing so makes a grave error. We see the look of shock on his face as he suddenly realizes that he's not being held up by the roof anymore, and everything slows down as he begins to tumble toward the ground. He screams as he falls, but we cannot hear anything but the beating of our own hearts in our ears. All we see is his mouth hanging open in a look of sheer horror, and we see a dark stain appear around his crotch as the terror causes him to piss his pants.

As things begin speed up again, let us mercifully turn our attention toward Stan, who is trying desperately to reach his rapidly descending friend. He's moving as quickly as he can, though the pain and anguish on his face tells us that he already knows he'll be too late. All we can do is watch in horror as he makes his doomed attempt.

"Kyle, no!" he screams.

There is a sickening thud behind us, and we can now safely turn around. Kyle is there on the ground, quite motionless, and there is blood running from his mouth, his nose, and his ears.

"Yes!" Cartman bellows from below. "SPLAT!"

"Omigod!" Stan moans, tears streaming down his face as he hovers over his friend, trying desperately to figure out what to do. "Kyle! Kyle? KYYYYYYYLE!"

We zoom toward the sky, as this scene is no longer a place anyone wants to be. As we do so, however, we can hear Stan's screams fade into the wail of an ambulance, which is almost immediately drowned out by the thunder.

Next Chapter: Sam