Hide Your Love Away

S J Smith

Summary: …you'd carefully excised that piece of your heart and stuck it away in a box, and hid the box from everyone, even yourself, because it wasn't going to be of any real use to you, not any more.

Rating: Let's say: Teen

Disclaimer: Trust me, if I had any rights to FMA, the anime series and That Movie would've ended much, much differently. …oh, wait, I've never seen That Movie. Never mind, it still would've ended differently.

A.N.: Winry's POV. Yes, it is second person POV and current tense. I like writing things that way.

Thanks muchly to D. M. Evans and Ishte for the read throughs.

Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, there were three children, a girl and two brothers, who grew up together. They thought they'd always be friends, that they'd stay together all their lives. But the boys' father went away and the girl's parents died in a war and then the boys' mother died. And then the brothers did something sinful and were punished.

The girl tried to help as much as she could. She gave them a home, and made arms and legs, and offered them her heart…

…but it wasn't enough.

So they left her. And they kept leaving her until finally, she decided she didn't need her heart any more, because boys weren't to be trusted with fragile things, especially when her heart kept on breaking.

The girl took her heart and locked it in a box and buried the box safely, with all her dreams and hopes and wishes for the brothers.

When the Elric brothers returned to Winry Rockbell, after so long gone, she was surprised but not really. Because all stories must end, and eventually, after many long adventures, the prodigal sons come home to their family.

Arrival

You don't remember the first thing that entered your mind when you looked out the window and saw the figures on the dirt road leading to your house. You just can't remember it because you'd actually decided, some time ago, that living with that sort of hope was just going to wear you down. So you'd carefully excised that piece of your heart and stuck it away in a box, and hid the box from everyone, even yourself, because it wasn't going to be of any real use to you, not any more. The sight of travelers on the road didn't really mean anything, not at that instant, not at first sight, not until you heard steps on the stoop and the rattle of the door as someone pounded on it with a fist of metal and shouted, "Isn't anyone here to welcome us home?"

But it's them, and they've finally returned, the two brothers you've waited for all your life. You welcome them with hugs and tears and exclaim over them, and offer to cook them dinner like the old times. You even welcome their companion, the girl with them, Maggie, her hair a rich gold, just like Edward's, and eyes the color of verdigris. You pretend not to notice the looks the girl gives the brothers as everyone gathers in the kitchen to make them a feast, Alphonse helping you chop up vegetables and Edward wheedling Granny out of her hard cider that she has put away for special occasions.

"We're home!" he shouts, "isn't that special enough?"

And Granny agrees but you see her cut her eyes at the girl and you wonder why. And then Maggie looks at you with her verdigris stare and you understand.

But you can do this.

Measure Up

You take measurements on Edward's limbs to make him new automail. You knew he'd grown but look, he's almost normal height now. Edward glares and snarls at your little joke and it almost seems like it's supposed to but Maggie puts her hand on his shoulder and Edward calms right down.

You tell him he'll have his automail in three days, just watch.

Edward tells you not to rush, there isn't any need of it. It's good to be home, he wants Maggie to see Rezembool, what there is of it.

That night, you pull your first all-nighter.

Little Brother

Alphonse gives you these looks when he thinks you can't see. He comes and talks to you while you work on his brother's automail, about everything and nothing, but mostly not about Edward or Maggie. You think it might be the most information you've gotten from the brothers since they decided to burn down their house.

Maybe even before that.

Granny

Granny makes you leave your work to eat, even if you aren't hungry. She has this expression on her face, a strange, set look you've never seen before. "You're strong, Winry," she says, "you're stronger than this."

You wish you knew what she meant.

Maggie

You stumble into the kitchen, needing something to drink, your eyes bleary from all the work you've done. She's already there, the sun streaming in from the window and making her hair shine like so much riches. Dispassionately, you think she's pretty, and not what you expected. You're not sure what you expected, really, but Maggie isn't it.

She watches you. You can feel that stare as you start up the tea kettle, deciding you need something that will wake you up and something that will settle you down.

"They think a lot of you," she says finally, when the silence has stretched far beyond normal comfort.

You listen to the pinging noise of the metal heating up, the little hissing sound of the water getting hot. The kettle will scream in just a little bit. You wish you could do the same but it won't change anything. "I think a lot of them, too." Turning, you face Maggie with a smile that doesn't hurt, a careless, easy grin, one that you can put on and know it to be the truth. "They're like my brothers."

Maggie's answering smile tells you that she doesn't believe you. That she knows another answer, the one that you're not telling her. That's not what she says, though. She's polite, you'll give her that. "You must be very happy they came home, then."

"I never expected them to," you say thoughtfully, looking beyond her gleaming hair to the day outside the window. "I'd pretty much given up that for a dream." Meeting her copper green eyes, you say, "You can only wait so long for a dream to come true before it becomes a nightmare." The kettle starts to wail and you pluck it off the burner, pouring it into a mug, adding mint leaves to steep.

"That doesn't sound very hopeful." You think Maggie's voice is supposed to be cutting. You're not sure you hear it but by the set of her shoulders, that pull of her mouth, you think she's gloating. "If you love someone, you should always be waiting for him."

You can't help it. The laugh escapes you, making Maggie's face pinch. She makes some sort of disgusted sound and starts to push past you. You grab her arm, making her realize when she tries to pull free just how strong you are. Her eyes are wide and for a second, you think you see fear in them. "Wait all you want," you tell her gently. "Just remember, I warned you."

A Moment's Respite

You take a break on the second night, come outside on the porch to clear your head, but Edward and Maggie are there first, sitting on the swing. You're already through the noisy screen door before you see them and Edward's giving you a smile. His arm is around Maggie's shoulders, her fingers laced in his. They ask you to sit with them, well, Edward asks. Maggie looks at you with those glowing green eyes and a little cat smile and you almost see her claws.

But you can't sit – oh, something needs calibrated, you just needed a breath of air and you go back inside, waving and smiling, and even over the squeal of the door closing, you hear Edward tell Maggie, "Winry's the best mechanic ever."

You pull your second all-nighter.

Visit

Edward comes in to see you, furtive, a shy grin you've never seen before lighting his face, and you can't help but stare and wonder who this man is. He stammers and laughs and shows you a present he bought for Maggie: "Do you think she'll like it?"

And you stare at the ring in his hand, in the hand you made for him, only half-hearing Edward say that he wanted to do this right, not be like his dad, and Maggie loved Rezembool, too, and maybe they'd just rebuild the old house, isn't that a great idea?

You smile and tell him it's a beautiful ring and you'll help him with the house, if he wants it, and you think your voice sounds a little funny but Edward doesn't seem to notice, so you shoo him off to finish up his automail.

Attachment

It's the third day and you've finished Edward's automail like you said you would. The attachment procedure is complete and you can rest. All you want now is your bed and to blot out the rest of the world with sleep but Alphonse's voice stops you from going up the stairs.

"You showed Winry the ring?"

"Why wouldn't I? She's my best friend. I wanted her opinion." Edward's confused, and angry, and sounds just like the Edward you remember.

"You idiot. Edward, how could you be such an ass?" Al's voice gets louder, loud enough that maybe Granny would hear.

You wonder where Maggie is.

You decide you don't care.

"What? What did I do?" Edward is all but raging now, upset that he doesn't understand and you want to go tell Alphonse it's okay, it doesn't matter, but you're too tired to move.

Al doesn't hear your thoughts. "Do you know how Winry feels about you, Ed? What a slap in her face it must've been to see a ring you picked out for Maggie?" He's yelling. He's yelling and you just want to go to sleep.

You sigh and trudge down the hall to the patients' rooms, not even bothering to knock. Edward's staring at Alphonse, well, you guess he is, he's got his back to the door, and Alphonse's face is blotchy and red.

He's so angry for you.

You wish he wasn't.

"What am I missing here, Al?" Edward's trying to keep his temper; his voice is vibrating that way it does and you can see his fists clenching and unclenching.

If you weren't so tired, maybe you'd have shushed Alphonse. Or never come down the hall. Maybe, you could've already been in bed. You hear the words, "The same thing you always miss, Ed. That I love you," and wonder who spoke them. Alphonse makes a strangled sound so you know it's not him, and Edward's turning so slowly, it's like he's stuck in mud and can barely move.

You think it's funny his face is white and his mouth is hanging open. He gasps out, "Winry?" as you turn away from the brothers. You hear Alphonse whisper something; a word, maybe your name. Maybe Edward's.

You can't find it in you to care right now.

Happily Ever After

You start back for the stairs. You feel good. You feel exhausted. You put your foot on the first riser. Your bed seems like it's a long ways away.

But at least your heart is safe where you left it and someday, maybe, you'll dig it up again.

Until then, you're strong. You can do this.